NEW CHICK TRACT!

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-02-03 05:36pm

LMAO! Best line yet- "You're tell me Jesus is God?"

Not quite as offensive as some others, though.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-02-03 05:53pm

Aww fuck. When will he open a forum so we can whack it?

jaeger115 · Post by **jaeger115** » 2003-02-03 05:54pm

Provide the link, please. Some of us are too lazy to go running for it.

Pistolero · Post by **Pistolero** » 2003-02-03 05:55pm

HemlockGrey wrote:LMAO! Best line yet- "You're tell me Jesus is God?"

Not quite as offensive as some others, though.

DAMN! You beat me to it! The one line that struck me as Chick trademark was "He should know about hell, Fred. He created it!"

Once again, where is the logic in that? So Jesus came here to save us from the dark place he built to throw us infidels in?

Would it not just save moolah on the heating bill if he just zapped us sinners out of existence?

Of course, that is just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Pistolero · Post by **Pistolero** » 2003-02-03 05:56pm

jaeger115 wrote:Provide the link, please. Some of us are too lazy to go running for it.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5021/5021_01.asp

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-02-03 06:00pm

At least he wasn't anti-Catholic or anti-Jew in this one...

jaeger115 · Post by **jaeger115** » 2003-02-03 06:07pm

AAAAAHHH.... the pain....the pain.... I couldn't even read halfway through that fucking tract!!!

kheegster · Post by **kheegster** » 2003-02-03 06:12pm

Hmm...no bigotry or racism, but the idiocy still runs strong in this one...

"You really got nailed when you read this, there's not excuse NOW!"

ROTFLMAO!!!

I'm gonna throw away my belongings and go live in the streets now...who wants to join me in heaven?

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-02-03 06:16pm

"let Him control and rule your life."

Yup, that's some real good free will right there.

Pistolero · Post by **Pistolero** » 2003-02-03 06:21pm

neoolong wrote:"let Him control and rule your life."

Yup, that's some real good free will right there.

But then ask any fundie how God permits bad things to happen, and they will reply that man has free will, and that God will not intervene in the lives of men. And they will tell you this with a straight face. Right after they tell you that God controls even how the leaves fall from the trees.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-02-03 07:06pm

Sure, there's no bigotry, but it does have that irritating "Sinner turned Christian after Fundie saves him" plot line that Chick uses in every other tract.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-02-03 07:24pm

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:At least he wasn't anti-Catholic or anti-Jew in this one...

As with all Chick brain farts, he was anti-common sense.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-02-03 08:42pm

damn, you get lit on fire and have burns for months, would you want a person to tell you your getting more of the same when you die? I mean really.

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-02-03 08:55pm

My all-time favorite Chick line: "The Potter books open a doorway that will put untold millions of kids into hell."

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-02-03 08:56pm

I like the one where God says "pull my finger".

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-02-03 09:06pm

*urinates on thread*...

Damn, I really hate Chick.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-02-03 09:08pm

I've never understood how they can so easily say that everyone but them will go to hell, while giving no real reason for heaven and hell. They are formless places, that people "go" to after death, and only by "receiving" Jesus into one's heart may one enter heaven.(I've gleaned this from Chick tracts, I've no indoctrination in this horseshit)
No reason is given for this awful dichotomy, that allows evil people into heaven and shuns good people into hell. It's pure, antimeritocratic idiocy.

On that note:
Cthulhu Fhtagn

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-02-03 09:22pm

Another thing: if you're a fundie, HOW CAN YOU KNOW THAT BILLIONS WILL BURN IN HELL WITHOUT BEING DRIVEN INSANE BY IT?!?!? Or maybe they ARE driven insane by it. I don't know. They are stupid. <--Understatement.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-02-03 09:58pm

http://news.yahoo.com/fc?tmpl=fc&cid=34 ... rry_potter

lmao, more fuel that the pope is a witch for chick, right?

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-02-03 10:30pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:http://news.yahoo.com/fc?tmpl=fc&cid=34 ... rry_potter

lmao, more fuel that the pope is a witch for chick, right?

Oh boy. Just more proof that Catholics are evil

I wonder what his reaction will be when he finds out the Pope's chair has an inverted cross on it.

At least the Vatican are smart enough to look at the moral of the story instead of going "OMG IT HAS WITCHCRAFT, WITCHCRAFT IS EVIL, HARRY POTTER IS GOING TO SEND KIDS TO HELL!"

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-02-03 10:42pm

*twitchtwitch*

Bad...theology...systems failing...brain shutting down

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-02-04 12:49am

Standard born-again fundy bullshit. Accept (my interpretation of) Jesus and you get a free ticket to heaven. Reject ME and you reject Jesus and you go to hell. Once again, we trash Chick's crap and decied he's an asshole. Nothing new here.

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-02-04 01:10am

Wait... I'm confused. Why would the firefighter who risked his life to help stop the fire be going to hell? Oh yeah, its Chick...

Setzer · Post by **Setzer** » 2003-02-04 12:10pm

Even I think this tract is ridiculous. Apparently this company thinks corny tracts lead to salvation, and that Jesus just helps.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-02-04 12:36pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:http://news.yahoo.com/fc?tmpl=fc&cid=34 ... rry_potter

lmao, more fuel that the pope is a witch for chick, right?

No surprise that the Pope likes fantasy - after all, Tolkien was a Catholic so all fantasy possibly gets his blessing, unless it's explicitly anti-Christian.

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