Let's Play X-COM: UFO Defense!

[Vendetta]

Not that power armour is guaranteed to save you anyway.

Well, except possibly from friendly fire.

Until everyone has Heavy Plasmas.

[Vanas]

It's a morale thing. Especially if we can get double thickness armour on the back.

[Karrick]

I think we recovered enough alien corpses in that mission that we can use those for armor until we get something better

Also:
My very first mission and I get to play with fire! That'll teach those damn dirty barns to shelter aliens!

[Rekkon]

It seems X-Com lost my application to be a rifleman as well. Better resubmit.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Sorry you failed the psychological exam.

They found you sane

[Ohma]

Sorry about that Ryan, I was trying to warn you about the floater, but I guess my new "one beep for 'yes' two for 'no'" system needs some work.

Maybe three beeps for "HOLY SHIT FLOATER BEHIND ME, GET IN THERE AND TAKE IT OUT WHILE I RELOAD"?

[weemadando]

X-Com psyche evaluation test:

1) How do you feel about guns?
a) They freak me out.
b) The proliferation of public firearms ownership is a concern
c) How big is mine?
d) I like them as long as I'm killing shit - no paper target for me
e) FUCKING BOOM! HAHAHA! GET SOME! GET SOME! WOOOO! I NEED MORE AMMO

2) How do you feel about working in the field with prototype reverse-engineering alien devices constructed by drunken engineers in Russia?
a) Ummm... No thanks.
b) Does it have to be in the field?
c) Is it a bigger gun?
d) Sure, why not?
e) HOLY SHIT THIS THING JUST BLEW UP HALF A CITY BLOCK! HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST PER SHOT AGAIN?

3) As an X-Com operative you may face unknown threats and still be required to react appropriately, do you feel you can do this?
a) I freak out when I see a tiny spider.
b) I get a bit panicky sometimes and need to just take a time-out and calm down, then I'm good,
c) Not much really worries me, but I have teared up watching Oprah.
d) Just as long as they don't try to lay eggs in me, I'll be good - I watched a Discovery doco once on some weird African fly and ever since then I've had nightmares about things laying eggs in me.
e) OH JESUS! FUCK ME! JESUS! OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING? KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!

4) X-Com supports diversity in the workplace and many of our operatives come from "distinct" socio-psychological backgrounds, how do you feel you would fit in?
a) Are you saying they're crazy?
b) This would be a great experience for a management job in the future.
c) I'd just keep my head down until I figure out how it all works.
d) They don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with them.
e) WOOO! MORE BEERS ALL ROUND AND LETS GO BREAK INTO THE LABS AGAIN AND BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA THAT SECTOID WE GOT IN THERE!

[Zablorg]

^This would likely explain why I got to be Colonel and you ITSY BITSY BABIES are still privates with your BABY GUNS

[Peptuck]

X-Com psyche evaluation test:

2) How do you feel about working in the field with prototype reverse-engineering alien devices constructed by drunken engineers in Russia?

Laughing so hard.

Incidentally, I'm also playing a second game parallel to this one. Somehow, by the grace of all that's holy, I managed to complete a nighttime Snakeman terror mission with no casualties.

There was lots of collateral damage, and half of Praetoria was left burning (the other half was of a smooth, glassy texture) but we suffered no casualties!

In the future, I'm probably not going to cover these individual small UFO recovery missions in as much detail unless something really cool or wild happens in them. It just takes too damn long to write up.

[RedImperator]

The game gets markedly easier after you have hyper-wave decoders and plasma cannons. With enough coverage, you can swat down any UFO smaller than a battleship with one interceptor. Snakeman terror mission inbound for New York? Sorry, no--let's see how fast those fucking Chryssalids can run on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. I basically only ever do supply ship piracy (I left a floater base intact for that), alien base cleanouts, and base defense anymore, and blaster launchers make the latter two piss easy.

[KrauserKrauser]

Well it looks to be a bit late to the party, but I'm volunteering for the Logisitics / Giant Hat Procurement Division, I'll head it up if it doesn't exist. Someone's got to address the dire big hat gap that exists between X-COM and the alien scum.

[The Defenestrator]

Well it looks to be a bit late to the party, but I'm volunteering for the Logisitics / Giant Hat Procurement Division, I'll head it up if it doesn't exist. Someone's got to address the dire big hat gap that exists between X-COM and the alien scum.

Wait, which of the aliens wear big hats?

But if you could do something about the haircuts, that'd be great.

[Peptuck]

Well it looks to be a bit late to the party, but I'm volunteering for the Logisitics / Giant Hat Procurement Division, I'll head it up if it doesn't exist. Someone's got to address the dire big hat gap that exists between X-COM and the alien scum.

Wait, which of the aliens wear big hats?

The fact that we do not have hats in the first place is reason enough for there to exist a hat gap between us.

[weemadando]

Well it looks to be a bit late to the party, but I'm volunteering for the Logisitics / Giant Hat Procurement Division, I'll head it up if it doesn't exist. Someone's got to address the dire big hat gap that exists between X-COM and the alien scum.

Wait, which of the aliens wear big hats?

The fact that we do not have hats in the first place is reason enough for there to exist a hat gap between us.

WE CANNOT ALLOW A BIG HAT GAP!

God, I hope that the X-Com command centre is like that War Room. Complete with wheelchair bound half-Nazi scientists.

[The Defenestrator]

Anyway, in response to the comments above, the real reason you want power armor is so that you can use auto-cannons with HE ammo at point-blank range.

[Temjin]

You know, I wasn't going to post in this thread volunteering for a position. No. Seemed to much like a me-too post for my tastes. Besides, I didn't feel like dealing with the inevitable questions of "who are you again?" So I kept my mouth shut.

But now you have committed an unforgivable sin.

You made me get addicted to x-com again.

So now, so you can make amends, I'm volunteering. Specifically, I'm volunteering to head the psionic lab when we eventually get one. So many minds to play with....

Failing that, I'll take a cannon fodder position.

[Nephtys]

I will be the PR person! It is an important job to explain to the world that we had to destroy the city block to save it. Also, I'll distribute informational videos to civilians on how to avoid the flying silver footballs making aerial maneuvers through their windows, when X-COM arrives to 'liberate' them.

[weemadando]

I will be the PR person! It is an important job to explain to the world that we had to destroy the city block to save it. Also, I'll distribute informational videos to civilians on how to avoid the flying silver footballs making aerial maneuvers through their windows, when X-COM arrives to 'liberate' them.

Basic precautions in case of Alien attack.
1) Create a "safe room" in your home where you can hide your family for a period of time sufficient for X-COM forces to arrive.
2) Do not under any circumstances engage the Aliens yourself. That is a job for the professionals.
3) Please ensure that your insurance covers: "Acts of Alien", "Acts of X-COM", "Act of Artillery Barrage" and "Acts of crash-landing UFOs".
4) Keep fire-extinguishers in every room of the house. Those Aliens are all pyromaniacs.
5) When you hear a Skyranger coming, get everyone in your family to lie on the floor under the kevlar blanket which is under the water soaked fire-proof blanket, which is under the 12ft of rubble which used to be your home and wait until you hear the all clear or the firefight consumes all available O2 in the area and you are starved of oxygen.
6) Most of all - don't panic. Those brave men and women of X-COM are fighting for YOU!

[fnord]

Specifically, I'm volunteering to head the psionic lab when we eventually get one. So many minds to play with...

So would that have you reporting to Surlethe, the (slightly-in-need-of-wheel-alignment) Yosemite Bear, the big cheese, or the Council of Stingy Whining Bastards?

[Peptuck]

Specifically, I'm volunteering to head the psionic lab when we eventually get one. So many minds to play with...

So would that have you reporting to Surlethe, the (slightly-in-need-of-wheel-alignment) Yosemite Bear, the big cheese, or the Council of Stingy Whining Bastards?

All four of them.

Besides, someone has to get Bear his glasses of chianti and hire his disposable ex-KGB torture goons.

[Peptuck]

With this update, we finish out March. There was only one other UFO noted, a large scout spotted on the ground by Russian military units in Siberia, nestled inside the narrow gap between the radar coverage provided by both Skynerfed and Vodkaville.

Code: Select all

UFO Assault
Squad: Vanas, ROBO-OHMA, ROBO-VENDETTA, Shepp, ROBO-DECUE, ROBO-THUNDER, Darkevilme, Karrick, Rekkon, Maxentius
Rocket HWP: Piloted by Hawkwings

With trooper Hawkwings expressing an urge to get back to blowing shit up, we switched out our new Laser HWP for a tried-and-true Rocket HWP. Deployment went off without a hitch. We spotted the UFO and two Floaters wandering around outside in the verdant, warm Siberian woods.




Rekkon got one with autocannon fire. Darkevilme dropped the other with his heavy laser. These things are proving to be damn good sniper weapons.



The assault team formed up outside, only to have a Floater jump out. Robo-Thunder proved to be the faster on the cybernetic draw, though, and dropped it in an eyeblink. Robo-Decue tried to drop a second floater inside with a stun prod, but the alien proved resilient than expected. He dropped to one knee, however, and Darkevilme proved his sniper skills once more by blasting its head off, barely sizzling Decue's cybernetic hairs. As the assault team prepared to breach the control center of the UFO, Robo-Thunder met another floater, and thinking on his toes, he zapped this one with his stun prod. This floater collapsed.

Meanwhile, the second team breached from the opposite side.



The last floater took both a heavy laser beam and two hits with laser rifles without flinching, and then blew Darkevilme's head off, ending his killing spree. Decue finished it off.



Post mission analysis: Nothing new here. Standard sweep-and-clear. Only one casualty that couldn't be avoided.

Karrick was promoted to sergeant, in spite of the fact that all he did was strut about with his backpack full of rockets and yelled threateningly at the local wildlife. High Command is considering reprimanding him for use of insufficient force against said wildlife.



Sales of UFO-recovered artifacts brought a huge amount of money to our reserves. Both the last UFO and this one were carrying a number of Mind Probes, which are easily the single most lucrative items we can recover from the UFOs.

On the strategic front, Doctors Bear and Surlethe made major breakthroughs. The Floater navigator we captured on the last mission proved extremely talkative once confronted with the good Doctor's persuasion methods. Once Doctor Surlethe was able to make sense of its mad, terrified gibberish, we finally were able to receive a wealth of data relating to the aliens.



It appeared that the navigator's vehicle had been intended to scout locations for a secret alien base on earth, from which the xenos bastards could prey on the population and wildlife in secret without risk of being attacked by our aircraft. This will not stand.



Information about the floaters themselves was also obtained. All personnel currently agree that the lack of genitalia remains good reason to mock the poor, floaty bastards.

Finally, and most importantly....



We uncovered the basics behind both the aliens' communications devices and some hints as to their origins. the communications devices apparently use some previously undetectable form of radiation that requires specially attuned machinery to detect. Doctor Surlethe's team has begun research into determining how these "hyperwaves" operate and how we can decode them. If we can figure out how they operate, we can decipher alien transmissions, which will be critical to our success.

Note: I've been trying to do research on the captured Sectoid Medic. Unfortunately, everytime I finish the stupid thing, I get a random chunk of research about an irrelevant species and the game bugs out. Annoying.



Welcome From Earf's radar was finally completed, fully upgrading the facility to an active installation. We should be able to monitor Southeast Asia and most of Australia now.

No other incidents were reported for the remainder of March. At the end of March, our monthly review came up, and we had much better news than last time.





It seemed all of the funding nations were at least pleased enough with us to keep our funding normal, though a couple were not happy enough with our actions to increase their funding. Unsurprisingly, China was one of them, though the Russians were very happy with our work to keep their glaciers free of the alien taint.





And that ends March.

The strategic situation is good. We've got all of Asia and Europe covered with our radar coverage, leaving only the Western Hemisphere needing protection. The financial situation is excellent; Chief Engineer Fnord's teams have made a massive profit off of laser cannon sales, and while we suffered a slight hit in overall cash due to the high salaries of our cadre of scientists and engineers and base maintenance (those three Interceptors and the Skyranger cost a whopping $2 million by themselves each month) we’re still making plenty of cash off of sales of our weapons, the new medikits, and alien artifacts.

Current plans call for the establishment of a fourth base in the Western Hemisphere. We suspect the aliens will begin operations there once they realize Asia is so securely protected, and with the United States and Canada as major funders, we‘ll need to protect them eventually to keep the cash flowing. Alternately, we could establish a fourth base in Africa to cover that continent, probably somewhere in the center of the continent to expand radar coverage over the whole area.

We’re not sure where to take the research once we get done with the Hyperwave Decoder. We picked up a lot of stuff that needs analysis, including alien alloys, UFO power and navigation, Elerium-115, and various alien weaponry.

[weemadando]

WEAPONRY MAN! WE NEED BIGGER GUNS! I barely saw any collateral damage in that last mission and clearly there were some recoverable materials remaining. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS ORGANISATION?

[The Defenestrator]

Am I on the soldier list yet, or did you miss me?

EDIT: In your situation, I would start on some armor research. Alien Alloys is a no-brainer, and personal armor really helps on the battlefield. Although it looks kinda stupid.

EDIT 2: The medic is supposed to give you data on another species of alien. I haven't heard of any crash bugs related to it though.

[Peptuck]

WEAPONRY MAN! WE NEED BIGGER GUNS! I barely saw any collateral damage in that last mission and clearly there were some recoverable materials remaining. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS ORGANISATION?

We save the collateral damage for urban environments.

EDIT 2: The medic is supposed to give you data on another species of alien. I haven't heard of any crash bugs related to it though.

Huh, I didn't know it was spposed to give me data on the other species. Even so, game crashes everytime I get done researching it.

[Vendetta]

Floater Medics crash the game when you research them. This is a known bug. Sectoid Medics shouldn't.