The Red Army Heads West!

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2003-02-04 09:06pm

A spiny "Red Army" of monster crabs is on the march west from the Russian Arctic and might end up menacing vacationers on beaches all the way to Portugal.

I hate them I hate them I hate them! I like to do sea diving and absolutely loath "dirty" seas. I call for NATO assistance to repel this invasion!

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-02-04 09:20pm

Can you imagine having a pet...thing....like that!? It would eat your dog! It would eat your furniture. My god, it would eat YOU.

*dives into nuclear safe-house*

So it begins...

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-02-04 09:21pm

soooooo europe has crabs, eh? i got some cream for that if they want it.

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2003-02-04 09:24pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:Can you imagine having a pet...thing....like that!? It would eat your dog! It would eat your furniture. My god, it would eat YOU.

It moves to slow for that. So, just keep your distance and poke it with a stick until it eventually gives up.

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2003-02-04 09:26pm

Great. The Uber-crab of Doom! Now, where did I leave my armor and warhammer?

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-02-04 10:17pm

Mmmmmmm....King crab legs...yum!
Hopefully they do some full out fishing which should drop the prices enough so I can eat them more often. As it is I only get to eat king crabs only once or twice a year.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-02-04 10:21pm

MMMM...looks like some good eatin going towards Europe...

Hmmm maybe I'll just head that way...with sticks of butter and a lemon tree.

Sr.mal · Post by **Sr.mal** » 2003-02-04 11:21pm

Damn thats almost as big as the ones in my crotch.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-02-04 11:27pm

I've heard some crabs can survive for hours outside the water. Some species of crabs can even DROWN in water.

Can these giant crabs survive for hours outside the water as well?

With that question aside, I'd love to see these things overruning towns and such

*Polymorphs into a giant 5-meter long crab with disgusting-looking tarantula-like hairs and sharp claws and goes off to terrorize the crab-phobic members on this board*

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2003-02-04 11:30pm

Only Godzilla can save us from the giant crab invasion!

LT.Hit-Man · Post by **LT.Hit-Man** » 2003-02-04 11:52pm

*BDZ's the area ties on a lobster biib and jumps into the mess of crabs and starts eattting and eatting and eatting and eatting and eatting and eatting and eatting and so on *

Damm this is going to be good I am realy going to try and get my hands on some of these critters

At lest Russia now has a way of making some quick cash if there smart

LT.Hit-Man · Post by **LT.Hit-Man** » 2003-02-04 11:56pm

Shinova wrote:I've heard some crabs can survive for hours outside the water. Some species of crabs can even DROWN in water.

Can these giant crabs survive for hours outside the water as well?

With that question aside, I'd love to see these things overruning towns and such

*Polymorphs into a giant 5-meter long crab with disgusting-looking tarantula-like hairs and sharp claws and goes off to terrorize the crab-phobic members on this board*

ROTFLMAO I know I've seen some realy bad and I mean BAD B-flicks that have started out like that

There is a crab that climbs coconut trees and drops them to the ground and eats them when they have cracked open there fucking huge

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-02-05 12:01am

That giant spider crab looks delicious.

There's nothing that pisses me off more than ordering some King Crab legs, getting your taste buds ready, and getting crappy, teeny weeny legs with about 2 ounces of meat in them. We need to genetically engineer super crabs that have claws that each weigh like 16 ounces or something. That would be cool.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-02-05 03:53am

The Red Army, it appears, will be getting to Calais after all, and reputedly doing at least as much damage to the fishing and bathing industries as the real thing would have.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-02-05 03:56am

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:The Red Army, it appears, will be getting to Calais after all, and reputedly doing at least as much damage to the fishing and bathing industries as the real thing would have.

LOLness

Can't wait till the pic links come out!

Why am I enjoying this so much? Dunno

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-02-05 05:35am

paladin wrote:Great. The Uber-crab of Doom! Now, where did I leave my armor and warhammer?

I've got bigger bombs

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-02-05 05:37am

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:The Red Army, it appears, will be getting to Calais after all, and reputedly doing at least as much damage to the fishing and bathing industries as the real thing would have.

This could have been Stalin's plain all along, cripple the capitalist economies via amphibious attack. Tricky those communists where..

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-02-05 06:06am

Maybe these ARE ex-Soviet bioweapons.

I don't think poking a Giant Spider Crab with a stick or dropping a nuke depth charge on it will do much except make it tremendously pissed off...

SAMAS · Post by **SAMAS** » 2003-02-05 09:34am

Admiral Valdemar wrote:Here's a good pic of the buggers; the Japanese Spider Crab, now you see why mechas are so popular, hell, the arachnids in SST are more apt an analogy!

The official largest of these critters had 2.7m long CLAWS.

Giant Spider

Macrocheira kaempferi

I need a shotgun, a hammer, and a gallon of melted butter, STAT!

Sienthal · Post by **Sienthal** » 2003-02-05 12:51pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:
HemlockGrey wrote:Two...meter...crabs...

-goes into shock-
Yeah, sooner or latrer some moron is going to end up getting them into America, liek they did with that fish that could live on land back in the summer.

And you can bet that at least ONE lawsuit will come of this.