‘Better-Off Dead’

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Kanastrous
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‘Better-Off Dead’

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‘Better-Off Dead’
A criminologist on the complex reasons seemingly ordinary men are driven to murder their families—and why we may soon see more of these tragic cases.
By Raina Kelley | Newsweek Web Exclusive

It seems unfathomable that an ostensibly stable and loving man could kill the people he loves most; but unfortunately, it is more common than we may like to consider. Last month, Mark Meeks, 51 from Whitehall, Ohio killed his wife and two children after he lost his job. That case came just one week after Ervin and Ana Elizabeth Lupoe of Los Angeles committed suicide after killing their five children. The Lupoes wrote in their suicide note; "after a horrendous ordeal, my wife felt it better to end our lives; and why leave our children in someone else's hands ... we have no job and five children under eight years with no place to go. So here we are." These cases shocked a nation still absorbing the news of Bruce Pardo, 45, who dressed as Santa Claus, attacked a Christmas Eve party hosted by his ex-wife's parents and killed his former spouse and 8 of her relatives before setting the house on fire. Pardo later killed himself.

Known as 'family annihilators,' these people, most always men, have a profound need for control that drives them to destroy their family when they can no longer provide for them financially or when the family has been divided by divorce. (With men who commit murder-suicides there tends to be a catalyst such as a financial or personal defeat that they view as catastrophic, while women who kill loved ones are more likely to have a history of mental-health conditions like postpartum psychosis, as in the case of Andrea Yates, the Texas mother who drowned her five young children in 2001.)

The Violence Policy Center, a Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit research group, estimates that there were 1,108 murder-suicides in the United States in 2007, the overwhelming majority of them carried out by men. And though these most recent available statistics do not indicate a rise in such crimes from 2006 to 2007, with an economy shedding thousands of jobs a month, some experts believe that we may be facing a set of stressful economic circumstances where more men or even women could find themselves considering the unthinkable.

NEWSWEEK's Raina Kelley spoke to Jack Levin, professor of sociology and criminology at Northeastern University and author of "Serial Killers and Sadistic Murderers: Up Close and Personal" (Prometheus Books), about how seemingly ordinary men wind up committing terrible acts and why we may need to brace ourselves for more of these crimes as the recession tightens its grip. Excerpts:

NEWSWEEK: What is a family annihilator?

LEVIN: A family annihilator is usually the husband/father (certainly one of the family members) who kills the family unit, not just his wife or one of his children, but every member of the family. The motive for the crime may be clear or not; but the annihilation indicates that the family [as a whole] is the victim.

NEWSWEEK: What could the motive for such a crime possibly be?

LEVIN: Typically the motive is either revenge or altruism. We like to think that we're safe with our loved ones but the largest number of mass killings in the U.S. occurs in the family. [Second is the workplace, third is at schools] About 30 percent of mass killings are within the family.

NEWSWEEK: Can you explain how seemingly average people wind up committing such an extreme crime?

LEVIN: There are certain factors that we find in almost every annihilation, especially the ones where the motive is revenge: There's a catalyst that is seen as catastrophic in the mind of the killer. The percipient is usually a nasty divorce or child-custody battle. There's a loss of a relationship. There's an externalization of blame. The killer believes that the spouse is responsible for the destruction of the family unit. The children are killed because the husband blames the wife and kills everything associated with her … first the children go and then the wife—everything associated with the person is considered evil.

When the motive is altruism, the catalyst is usually financial disaster. The killer is convinced that he no longer has the ability to take primary responsibility of his wife and his children. He may have lost his job in an economy that's going south. He may have lost almost every penny in the stock market like many other people today. The husband/father feels that he will never again be able to find another comparable job and thus won't ever be able to take care of his family. He feels a responsibility for the well being of his family and their current existence is so miserable that they would be happier in the hereafter where they can reunite after death.

When the neighbors and relatives are called after this kind of annihilation, the message is always one of shock and surprise. What they don't understand is that he did it out of a perverted sense of well-being. He intends to take his own life but first he's going to make sure that his family members are taken care of. He can't leave his children behind. He doesn't want them to suffer with the consequences of his act.

NEWSWEEK: Are these men mentally ill?

LEVIN: That's the saddest thing of all–we're not talking about psychotics. They don't suffer from schizophrenia or a profound thinking disorder or mental illness. You can't say that they're psychopathic. They have a superego; they're remorseful, not manipulative or crafty. A person who plans methodically to kill his family is usually not insane, if he were; he'd be too confused [to commit the crime.] This seems to come out of nowhere. It's shocking and you can't predict it—there really aren't any red flags. They don't have a character or personality disorder.

But there has to be something going on. Killing your family is not a "normal" response to a bad situation, no matter how horrible.
Almost all of these guys have suffered long and cumulative frustrations leading to a prolonged despair. They don't go "crazy." The frustration grinds down their ability to cope with further frustration; that's why a particular incident may be the last straw; but it doesn't make them crazy. It's immoral and its hideous from the point of view of a normal person and nobody ever said they were normal. Most of them are methodical and plan these attacks for months before the murder. They are chronically depressed; but the second and a very important facet of this situation is that they externalize blame. If they really blamed themselves alone, they'd take an anti-depressant or commit suicide. They may blame their spouse or he may also kill his co-workers too. In 1999, Mark Barton killed nine fellow day-traders at two firms in Atlanta as well as his wife and two children. He left a suicide note with his two children that said, "they would better-off dead." Ultimately, the husband or father can no longer cope with the depression and frustrations.

NEWSWEEK: Are there additional factors that contribute to this kind of crime?

LEVIN: Social isolation—many of these guys have nowhere to turn when they get into trouble. Many of these killers have traveled thousands of miles for a new beginning or a new start so they don't have any kind of support system in place. But these are also the kinds of men who will not take help. They are the commander in chief and will not go to foot soldiers. They want total control and can't share responsibility. And then there's access to and training in the use of firearms—which also explains why so many men do this. When women kill, they tend not to kill large numbers and are more likely to use poison or fire or strangulation; they don't usually use guns. In England and Scotland, they have far fewer of these crimes; but most are committed with knives and thus the body counts are lower.

NEWSWEEK: Does the husband or father usually commit suicide in these cases?

LEVIN: Suicide is on the mind of many of these killers but they don't always follow through. It's easier to kill others than it is to kill one's self even if the others are loved ones. Some guys are motivated to commit suicide but can't follow through. Others commit suicide-by-cop and then occasionally you find a guy who can't even do that and he lets the states do it via capital punishment. The Santa Claus killer [Pardo], certainly did not intend to kill himself [Pardo] had tens of thousands of dollars and an airline ticket strapped to his legs]; he burned himself so severely when he set his former in-laws house on fire that he killed himself.

NEWSWEEK: Is there any way to see this kind of crime coming?

LEVIN: Scientists are like meteorologists, we're usually wrong at predicting future behavior. On the other hand, the warning signs are there—but we should be using warning signs to access people who are troubled long before they become troublesome. If you wait until they are in crisis, it's too late. You can't wait until somebody wants to commit murder; you have to provide help years earlier. Get to people when they're troubled, not troublesome. I do warn women to be careful early in the dating process—if you're dating a man who is [unusually] jealous and possessive, it isn't cute that he loves you so much. When you're getting a divorce or he loses his job, it can be extremely dangerous.

NEWSWEEK: Are these family annihilators remorseful?

LEVIN: So few of them have spoken, most are dead. But from what I've seen, they never feel like villains, they feel like victims.

With the economy in its current state, are we going to see more of these crimes?
I don't think there's any question about it, assuming the economy doesn't brighten, we're going to see more mass killings in the family and in the workplace. But it'll never go to zero, we have to be willing to reach out—not only to children but to adults who are having trouble making the transition to middle age. It's a good argument for gun control.
http://www.newsweek.com/id/185440

*edit* maybe this is more of an N&P thing...my poor little brain's not up to making the call. Mods, move it if'n you want.

Went ahead and put it in quote tags to make it readable. Will think about moving.
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Lagmonster
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Re: ‘Better-Off Dead’

Post by Lagmonster »

I'm curious about Levin's statement that there are no red flags or warning signs; I'd think that the kind of person who is likely to become homicidal as their way of 'helping' people when they lose control of their lives, careers or relationships is the kind of person who would handle life's lesser crisis poorly or stubbornly.

I'd even question his assertion that these men aren't irrational or crazy, especially the ones who think they're sending their families to a better place. Frankly, I think people have missed an entire swath of personal justification which makes it easier for men to decide to commit SOME of these crimes, for which the foundation is laid by a lifetime of people telling you how much better heaven is than earth. If you know you're just ending their existance, that might just penetrate the haze of selfishness - if you believe you're sending them to paradise, that might just seal the deal on your decision to kill them.
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Re: ‘Better-Off Dead’

Post by Kanastrous »

I suspect that you may be ascribing a lot more rationality to these people, than they actually possess. Sometimes the smile on the surface does nothing to betray the crazy roiling underneath.
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Re: ‘Better-Off Dead’

Post by Zixinus »

I wonder how gender roles factor into this. After all, the general expectation is that a single parent has to hold up the family by itself, man or woman, is what these people hold themselves to and would consider themselves worthless if it were any other case. Stress, frustation and mental anguish can plunge people into bad depths.

I'm not an anthropologist and I'd like to hear one's opinion about this line of thought, but the above does not necessarily reflect reality and the idea of a "nuclear family" is a modern invention: where an individual has enough resources to support another and youngsters. In the past, families huddled close together to pool resources. A large house for many people is more economical than many smaller, separate houses for every smaller unit of the family.
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Re: ‘Better-Off Dead’

Post by salm »

I´d like to know if social welfare is part of this. If you lose your job and know that you´ve got no way of getting money you might be more inclined to erradicating your family than with a social welfare system that can support you in bad times.
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Re: ‘Better-Off Dead’

Post by Junghalli »

That case came just one week after Ervin and Ana Elizabeth Lupoe of Los Angeles committed suicide after killing their five children. The Lupoes wrote in their suicide note; "after a horrendous ordeal, my wife felt it better to end our lives; and why leave our children in someone else's hands ...
You've got to love the egotism and self-importance there. "Without us around, surely our childrens' lives could not possibly ever be worth living!"
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Re: ‘Better-Off Dead’

Post by Broomstick »

Lagmonster wrote:I'm curious about Levin's statement that there are no red flags or warning signs; I'd think that the kind of person who is likely to become homicidal as their way of 'helping' people when they lose control of their lives, careers or relationships is the kind of person who would handle life's lesser crisis poorly or stubbornly.
Yes and no - "take charge" guys who are used to being in control might, in fact, be able to handle lesser crises or do what is necessary to get through hard times through self-dicipline. There are probably multiple factors at work in these situations.
I'd even question his assertion that these men aren't irrational or crazy, especially the ones who think they're sending their families to a better place.
He said they aren't psychotic, by which I read it to mean that these people haven't lost touch with reality and aren't delusional. Clearly, their thinking isn't normal but it's not the product of a disease state such as schizophrenia or other severe, probably biochemically based disorder. They're depressed because there is reason for them to be depressed, how they handle that is the problem more than the fact they feel bad because they're having a financial/professional/something else crisis.
Zixinus wrote:I wonder how gender roles factor into this. After all, the general expectation is that a single parent has to hold up the family by itself, man or woman, is what these people hold themselves to and would consider themselves worthless if it were any other case. Stress, frustation and mental anguish can plunge people into bad depths.
I think gender roles are a huge factor. Society not only tolerates women asking for help, it encourages it and even has programs devoted solely to assisting women. If a woman asks for help no one questions her womanhood, but if a man asks for help well, some folks might regard him as a eunnuch. Add to that the fact that women do tend to construct social networks that have safety net functions much more readily than men.
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