Let's Play X-COM: UFO Defense!

[PeZook]

Hah! See, guys? Not only do you have to wear obscene gimp armor, you also get brutally slaughtered and get your faces stuffed full of alien wing-wong.

Should've sucked Peptuck's cock like I did and become interceptor pilots!

Uh, did I just say it out loud?

[fnord]

Yes, you did - the phrase 'back alley hooker' comes to mind. Least me and the boyz have been busy, building crap left right and centre.

OHHH! Can I join up and be one of the smart ass wise cracking engineers who has the horrible job of trying to convert alien equations the scientists give me, into real weapons systems?

Chris, your application as interface chewtoy has been gladly accepted - you go talk to the propellerheads and keep them out of my a) hair and b) liquor cabinet.

[Darkevilme]

Alright a suitably actuated body has now been developed. Wire up what's left of me to a powersuit. Robo Darkevil demands vengeance, a laser rifle and plasma grenades.

[Hawkwings]

Hah! See, guys? Not only do you have to wear obscene gimp armor, you also get brutally slaughtered and get your faces stuffed full of alien wing-wong.

Should've sucked Peptuck's cock like I did and become interceptor pilots!

Uh, did I just say it out loud?

Ha, you've got nothin' on me. Interceptor pilots can be shot down and horribly raeped, while I sit back at base and munchy and drinky and explode stuff with large guns from a large distance.

[erik_t]

[bringing AC-HE and lasers to a terror mission]

If these turn out to be Mutons, we're in trouble.

Awful soon, isn't it? We haven't been dealing with Snakemen for long.

[PeZook]

Ha, you've got nothin' on me. Interceptor pilots can be shot down and horribly raeped, while I sit back at base and munchy and drinky and explode stuff with large guns from a large distance.

If you are shot down pursuing a UFO at Mach 10, there ain't gonna be anything left for the aliens to anally probe.

[Vendetta]

Awful soon, isn't it? We haven't been dealing with Snakemen for long.

Mutons and Snakemen start appearing at the same time.

[erik_t]

Oh. Guess I've been away from the game for a bit too long.

[phred]

Oh, btw, we now have an Interceptor for our base in Texas. Any volunteers?

I believe the next interceptor belongs to Erik von Nein, as of page 19. I can wait till we get spacecraft to be installed in something.

[Vanas]

Bastards, friendly fire after all that? have the clone shot and my addled brain added to a killer robot suit, stat.

Time to lay down some indiscriminate justice.

[Erik von Nein]

Yes! Interceptor pilot Erik reporting for duty! Ready to kick some alien ass!

Time to play some sweaty beach vollyball.

[weemadando]

ROBO-Ando Mk1 Alien Lifeform Suppression Device mod.0 (Incendiary Dispersion Unit) block22 (Power Armoured) reporting for duty.

Request deployment to burn some shit up.

[erik_t]

Fuck it. I have to die in some interesting and gruesome fashion! Plus I want to watch everyone deal with two different Eriks.

[White Haven]

We need to alternate you from mission to mission between intercept and infantry duties.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Can we rename the interceptor that RoboPhred pilots "Forever Man"?

[phred]

Can we rename the interceptor that RoboPhred pilots "Forever Man"?

If we continue with the idea that I am anything like my av it should probably be called the 'Voot Cruiser'

[Peptuck]

Nairobi before X-COM's arrival.



After.



Liberty and safety never looked so good.

The good news was, we weren't fighting Snakemen again. Instead, we were up against Sectoids. Yay!



The men were considering dubbing Hawkwings' tank the "Porta-Raep" for the sheer amount of xenos face-fucking it was doing as this battle progressed. Roughly two-thirds of the enemy killed were slaughtered by his missiles.








This cyberdisc took two sectoids with it.

It took a few well-placed rifle shots to down some of the other sectoids, of which I didn't get any good screenshots. I prefer to imagine they simply commited suicide against our lasers and autocannons when faced with the prospect of facing the Porta-Raep in battle.



Stark got a cyberdisc with a beautiful heavy laser shot from across the map, through smoke, debris, and a store window. The above is the aftermath.

Reports of civilian casualties mixed in amongst the annihilation of the invaders are but rumors and lies spread by some British xeno sympathizer in a cheap suit hiding in phone booths.



We managed to bag a few of the bastards alive, with our stun bomb launchers, though none of them were of command rank.



The last sectoid was hiding out in a gas station. We didn't realize this until the Porta-Raep was assfucked itself by a sectoid hiding amongst the pumps. Robo-Haven, who had taken to one of the rooftops to provide heavenly missile justice, blew apart the roof of the gas station, setting off several of the pumps. In the smoke and confusion, we closed in to try and subdue the alien, and finished it with a pair of stunbombs.



Sadly, the xeno was not of command rank either.



Apparently, the Kenyans didn't appreciate our delicate handling of their horrid xenos infestation.

Post Mission Analysis: MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH better. The use of heavy, creeping barrages of autocannon fire, missiles, and rockets kept the aliens at bay, cleared out their cyberdiscs, and enabled us to catch several of the aliens in the open where our stun bombs dropped them. Though we didn't get any valuable captives out of this, this mission did serve as a good example of the tactics we should use while hunting more valuable prey.

[Karza]

It's always a good sign when the amount of alien corpses recovered is smaller than the amount of aliens killed. It speaks of the right mentality . Still, 6 aliens killed and 3 captured? Seems to be a little on the small side for a terror mission.

[Samuel]

And still the xenos kill more people than your troopers- it is like they are specifically targeting the civilians... oh.

Where is that image from? The high usage of incendiaries means it can't be from our troopers- the ash would block out any attempts to capture images. Also, there are a large number of buildings still standing!

[Peptuck]

It's always a good sign when the amount of alien corpses recovered is smaller than the amount of aliens killed. It speaks of the right mentality . Still, 6 aliens killed and 3 captured? Seems to be a little on the small side for a terror mission.

I'm pretty certain that the two killed by the exploding cyberdisc didn't "count."

Fortunately, civilians killed by exploding cyberdiscs don't count toward "Civilians killed by X-COM" either.

[erik_t]

TOTAL.....................................................................-44

Post Mission Analysis: MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH better.

This is an interesting philosophy.

[White Haven]

From the perspective of 'Less than 57% casualties,' yes, it was.

[phred]

Where is that image from?

Looks like Independence Day.

I dunno about the gas station. It still looks fairly intact to me.

[Erik von Nein]

Pretty sure that image is from Hellgate London.

[Ford Prefect]

Now that you clearly have tool and equipment I can get behind, I want to sign up join this merry circus of retards.