Let's Play Civ 4!

[Karmic Knight]

Yeah, representation is the way to go, as is rushing to preisthood to get the Oracle.

[White Haven]

Aw hell yeah, sign me up for something. Possibly involving the intersection of slavery and bronze-working. *looks about, then ducks the impending smack from someone*

[Academia Nut]

I have determined where the most likely place to put Cowtown, but unfortunately for that location is currently low on our list of places to settle due to the fact that right now our major concern for settling will be to seize land to the east before the Germans snap it up. This will also force any enemies to either come over the seas at us or be funnelled into a bottleneck. The construction of Cowtown is thus of low priority.

[Phantasee]

I have determined where the most likely place to put Cowtown, but unfortunately for that location is currently low on our list of places to settle due to the fact that right now our major concern for settling will be to seize land to the east before the Germans snap it up. This will also force any enemies to either come over the seas at us or be funnelled into a bottleneck. The construction of Cowtown is thus of low priority.

We have patience. Oh man, what if we find oil near the city?

That would be lovely. And it must be called Cowtown, of course. AN is a true Edmontonian, after all.

And I'll throw change, mixed with boiling oil...

[Samuel]

Have we started building the pyramids yet? I never played 4, but IIRC the pyramids generally give a fairly kickass buff in the early stages of the previous games

They allow you to use any of the government civics. Given he is asking which one to choose (and they are far off just using research) he probably plans on getting it.

http://www.civfanatics.com/civ4/info/civics/

Slavery and organized religion are the only other ones we will have an option of getting in the near term.

[[R_H]]

We have patience. Oh man, what if we find oil near the city?

That would be lovely. And it must be called Cowtown, of course. AN is a true Edmontonian, after all.

And I'll throw change, mixed with boiling oil...

What about heated change, hot enough that it's glowing, but not yet molten. Saves the trouble of through the boiling oil.

[Academia Nut]

There might be an update later tonight, but I'm at my university for the majority of the day, so I wouldn't expect anything before 10pm MST. But there will be some interesting developments indeed.

Also, Cowtown will have access to cattle and rice, along with having scenic mountains and bordering on a desert, so there is in fact the possibility of discovering oil there in the far future.

Also, I think tech wise the strategy should be to switch over to representation and then shoot straight for literature. With any luck we'll have a great engineer spawned by the influence of the pyramids at that point and we can rush the Great Library. Two free scientists producing something like 6(9?) science a turn each. If we pick up Code of Laws from the Oracle we can also switch over to Caste System for labour and assign lots of lovely scientists churning out the research, putting us comfortably ahead of the game. We can then focus on building more cities and fortification, then begin preparations for teaching the Germans the meaning of phrase lebensraum.

[Vanas]

I do enjoy my boats. Sign me up for the First Expenda-Fleet, once we learn that water isn't scary and wood floats.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Sorry my Viking Civ 4 nation was busy playing Led Zepplin too loud.

[PainRack]

The most important tech in Civilisation and nobody is asking for the post? Sign me up for Chief Justice, ruler of all the judges in the courthouses!

We would increase the efficiency of allocating resources into our pockets!

[Academia Nut]

We begin with excellent news as our geological surveys have discovered large copper deposits in the grasslands to the north of Imperial Centre. Yosemite will be deployed with teams of 'labourers' to begin exploiting the resources as soon as he finishes setting up the quarries near New Australia.



Deciding that a club wasn't quite worth it, Hawkwings was given a bow and arrow to defend the glorious Imperial Centre. Much amusement was had watching him learn to use it, and he now wishes we had the technology for skin grafts on his fingers and forearm. Silly Hawkwings, skin is for nobles! Vehrec was given Hawkwings' old club with the understanding that he would be transferred over to the chariots once they became available.



Upon recieving a similar upgrade, Ford then began a project to uplift and inspire the downtrodden dissident population of New Australia by commissioning a sculpture to the majesty of his manhood. It really will be quite magnificent once completed.



Peptuck's destruction of endangered species goes unabatted. In fact, the term 'endangered species' was invented just in honour of his prowess at ripping apart wild animals with his bare hands.



Someone beat us to the punch in erecting a bunch of stones in a circle. However, as can be seen, our own project to erect a huge fucking pile of stones with the backbreaking labour of thousands of bored farmers is well underway.



The spread of degenerate German culture has cut off our scouting parties, and with weak wristed claims of not wanting Peptuck near their womenfolk, Frederick has denied us safe passage.



Peptuck! Noooooooooooooooo! While he valiantly fought off the first wave of archers, his support lay useless and dead to his mighty pectorals were marred by bits of wood and stone sticking out of them. While only pin pricks, they were many, and as wave after wave of savage barbarians broke upon his mighty breast the tide gradually took its toll. The scouts claim that he disappeared beneath a pile of swarthy, thick browed beast men, club dashing out brains even as he was brought under, and just for a breath moment a hand broke through the pile to flip his enemies a massive middle finger. The enemy was forced to retreat from the field, and when survivors went to find his corpse, they found it mysteriously vanished.



You're already on the list there buddy, and now you've got a black dot on there. You don't want to know what that means.



Wary of the damage done by barbarian marauders to the champion Peptuck, we deployed Vehrec as arrow fodder before they could reach our precious rice paddies.



Amazed at Vehrec's survival, Hawkwings was forced to curtail his attempts to seduce Vehrec's wife. Damn Bible and its lies!



What's this? Dawn breaks upon the jungle hellhole that is New Australia, and the citizens all look up to see a brilliant figure march in to town, crimson sunlight gleaming magnificently upon his bronze curiass and helm such that it matches the magnificence of his Spartan cape. Mighty Peptuck, for whom the bards sing tales, has returned! Marching up to Ford Prefect, he gives him a silent nod and they share a fist bump before the fiery Amazon archer Lusankya accompanies him out to the Western Frontier.



See, this Thucydides guy knows a little better, although he's still going to be getting a collection of modified dildo art in the mail to remind him how much better we are than those other losers.



While rumours of selling his soul to foul powers are greatly exaggerated, Ford has been looking a bit... buffer... since his encounter with Peptuck. Accusations of raising the base of his obelisk to make it a little taller have been met with beheadings and the construction of a skull throne.



"Now this is how you make a gigantic fucking phallic symbol!" Darth Wong announced to the awe of the world as he unveiled his new pyramids. The construction of the sheets that would hide those fuckers cost nearly as many slaves' lives as the pyramids themselves.



So awed were the people by the power shown by Wong's willingness to build a small mountain on a flat plain that they immediately had to admit that he could rule over them pretty much however the fuck he wanted, and he thus unleashed representative politics upon an unsuspecting population. Thousands were killed in the orgy of violence and fire that was the first election.



In a stroke of genius, Einhander was placed in a small isolated room with unlimited quantities of pot and his ramblings were carefully recorded, leading to the discovery of a codified set of laws and an organized religion the people of SDN could live with.



This discovery of fucking law was enough that our peers no longer judged us as murderous barbarians and we were considered a full fledged civilization to be respected rather than elevated stone age fucktards.



This situation obviously could not last.

To elaborate, Frederick had been sending young families eager to make their way in the world out to start up new lives in new settlements. This could not stand, as those settlements interfered with SDN strategic objectives and the settlements of our own convicts in gulags. War was inevitable with such intolerable encroachment upon our territory.

[Peptuck]

Ha! You thought those pitiful barabarians could stop me, Peptuck of Cimmeria!

Now, time to go father another generation of SDNer children!

[JonB]

Hey, this is me, reminding you that I claim dominion over all 'Blot out the sun' units.

(Finally my registration went through!)

[Academia Nut]

Okay, so there was a bit of a delay, but these things happen. Back to the madness!



Once more noble Peptuck fell in battle, his gleaming armour soiled with mud and the blood of his enemies and allies. Fortunately it is believed that the mighty commander himself managed to escape to regroup with a new formation being built back at Imperial Centre.



Peptuck's ferocious assault also paved the way for Lusankya to finish off the survivors and scatter the tiny population to the wind. For the first time since we've started we also have money in our coffers. Over the next little while our primary source of GDP is going to be 'looting and pillaging'. Processing the tax returns was a bitch when our soldiers brought in severed heads for their T4s and stolen heretical religious icons for assessment.



Here we see the enemy retreating in fear of Lusankya, too late to reinforce the city that was just razed. This in fact will represent pretty much the entire tempo of the war. Neither side was actually really prepared for a war, but the people of SDN kept the enemy on their back foot for the entire conflict, keeping them well away from our own cities, thus allowing for continual front line reinforcement.



Here Vehrec deals with a German warrior on a scouting mission before the war started that got too close to our rice paddies for comfort. The settlers who were originally intended for the territory that sparked this whole war are also visible.



By the end of this war Herodotus was found and given an object lesson on the power of SDN.



I'm going to admit that the seige of Cologne wasn't one of our proudest moment's, our commanders bravely, but futilely trying to charge the battlements in the hopes of breaking through. Our tactical doctrine also evolved, mostly in abandoning spears and arrows for gigantic fucking axes, as they worked really well against the enemy. Phantasee in particular needs singling out over the fact that he really fucked shit up for a while.



Peptuck admittedly really liked his Spartan cape though, and was slow to adopt the new weapons. Tactical stealth considerations also meant that he was loathe to give up the orchestra that followed him around.

Let's not even get started on breaking him of the whole slow motion thing.



Eventually though with our advancements in weaponry and tactics the defenders of Cologne discovered that they could no longer resist our assaults, and Peptuck, his axe glistening with the blood of thousands, stormed the city.

Careful consideration was taken before it was decided that Cologne did not fit within our strategic plans. There were no survivors.



Around this time it was also discovered that there were herds of horses running around in a village outside New Australia. When questioned why they never told us about this before, the villagers responded that no one ever asked.

They were reassigned to live in the jungles about New Australia. The death rates are now at an all time high!



His lesson is coming. Oh, it is coming!



What's this? Victoria is settling in our northern territory, where we intend to build Cowtown one day? Sorry dear, you're too damn close.

[Phantasee]

Vicky, Vicky, Vicky...


Vicky.

She's not taking away my future Governorship! We must make an example of her. Can we capture her and keep her as a pet? (I don't know how the specifics of Civ4 work).

Teach a bitch her place, and all that.

[Vehrec]

HORSEY! I shall ride into battle... Hey, how far are we from horseback riding? Can I trade my chariot in for a bow and stirrups?

[The Yosemite Bear]

sorry, but I understand Shroom applied for that position, thinking we said "Riding Whores"

[Peptuck]

KILL! MAIM! BURN!

STEAKS FOR THE STEAK GOD! BLOWJOBS FOR THE BLOWJOB THRONE!

[Samuel]

KILL! MAIM! BURN!

STEAKS FOR THE STEAK GOD! BLOWJOBS FOR THE BLOWJOB THRONE!

No, no, no. Good for the good god and law for the law throne! Or possibly just random violence for the heck of it.

[Academia Nut]

Let's just say that very quickly SDN assumes its rightful place in the world: hated by all for heathen beliefs, the razing of cities, and uncloaked aggression. The mouse-overs for the other leaders are pretty much all red with things like: You refused to help us, we are upset you have fallen under the sway of a heathen religion, you declared war on our friend, you declared war on us, and you razed one of our cities!

It was however amusing to watch Frederick going from offering to stop the fighting if I gave him tech, to me dictating terms.

[JonB]

I am at the lack of updates? As the power of SDN completely oblitereated all who stand before them?