Let's Play: UFO Aftershock!

[fnord]

Yeah, bugger it, put me in - XCOM's Chief Engineer had too much of a certain batch of vodka brewed up in Vodkaville (and one of his boyz split the vodka atom), resulting his ethanol-fuelled double turning up slumped in R&D's doorway, where Nitram promptly trips ass-up on him.

[Nephtys]

Earlier...
File: Sir Nitram's R&D Log. Flamethrower Test #67.
*Begin Recording*

Ah. Mr. Wautd. Please step into the room. Thank you for participating in a test of R&D's latest... instrument... in our continuing struggles. You may not remember me, Sir Nitram, head of R&D division. I will be personally guiding you through this test. Now, please proceed forward and pick up the weapon.

Wautd paused, looking a little to each side in the cramped Laputa waiting room. He carefully stepped up, bending down to lift the hefty weapon. It was unlike anything he had ever seen, similar to one of the machine guns he had previously been issued, but with a large steel tank attached instead of the ammo box.


Good. You are now holding an M240 Incinerator, pinnacle of what we've been able to come up with based on ancient recordings of human soldiers fighting ferocious transgenants called 'Xenomorphs'. Ah, I can see by your trembling hands that you're eager to use it. Very well. I'm sure we will encounter these formidable creatures at a later date.


I've activated the transport system to bring you to Deck 8. Please proceed to... the Test Chamber.


I hope that ride wasn't too disorienting. Ah yes, now I'm going to seal the door... for your safety of course!


Excellent. Now, the... Test Chamber... is at the end of the hall. I have opened the door for you. Please make haste, science waits for no one!


Now, please point your weapon at that target and depress the trigger.
Wautd swallowed hard. "But... I think I smell something. I think it's alcohol, sir."
Nonsense. Yosemite Bear most vigorously assured me that nothing of value was in this compartment, and so I appropriated it for science. Continue, Mr. Wautd.



Splendid! My, the destruction is far greater than I ever guessed possible! Marvelous!
"AAAAAAAAH!"



"OHGOD, IT'S BEHIND ME!"

Nonsense, Mr. Wautd, fire is not a living thing. Those secondary explosions are normal and nothing to be afraid of. Calm down, Mr. Wautd. I know your warrior instincts are overpowering your reason now, but I would like MY prototype back intact. So please make haste to the exit.





"AAAH! OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! I'M BURNING HERE!"

Please, shouting won't make it go any faster, Mr. Wautd. Ah, the smoke seems to have disabled my controls. I'm afraid you're on your own. I do wonder though, if those alloys can survive at 800 kelvin...


*banging on door*

Ah. It seems the door controls are working after all. Pardon me for the scare. I'll activate the transporter. Now, would you kindly return my prototype?



*End Recording*

[SirNitram]

*returns the mildly burned Wautd, presents his newly recovered design, and submits his report*

The combat trooper was excellent for test purposes. I am happy to report that no damage was done to valuable pre-landing equipment!

[Peptuck]

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE FIRE

Requesting permission to be deployed with the cleansing flames.

[Darth Yoshi]

For science!

That's fucking hilarious. I'm not familiar with the series; what exactly got torched?

[MJ12 Commando]

For science!

That's fucking hilarious. I'm not familiar with the series; what exactly got torched?

The insides of a Reticulan UFO. And a still.

[Ford Prefect]

Haha, oh wow. He ... actually got got chased down the hall by a wall of fire. Amazing.

Kept his together too. That's my boy!

[wautd]

At times like these I wonder why I ever left Aparture Science

[Vanas]

Because the warmth of a human scientist is so much nicer than a cold unfeeling machine.

[Peptuck]

Because the warmth of a human scientist is so much nicer than a cold unfeeling machine.

Clearly, you have never had cold, logical loving.

[SirNitram]

Speaking of which, having finally found the gerbil that got into the wiring, Junior Researcher GLaDOS is online once more and will be testing our teleport systems.

[Nephtys]

Today's Chapter: In which Bad goes to Worse
Personal Log, Nephtys
*Begin Recording


Now that Squad McLargeHuge is back in action, we've had a couple of additional setbacks. For one, our most experienced soldiers have an awfully high rate of coming back shot up and requiring days of hospitalization. Feral Reticulans we've encountered have started carrying their portable rocket launchers more often, which have an uncomfortably large concussion radius. Our production of RPG-7s is delayed and we will not have an answer for some time, meaning we'll have to use captured launchers and ammunition for now.

We've however, recruited three new troopers to act as a reserve for Squad McLargeHuge, and eventually form a second unit.



MJ-12 is both fast and strong, however lacking in more or less any other redeeming qualities. He complains that his sensitive cybernetic implants are receiving odd radio transmissions at times.

We were going to reject Manus Celer Dei, but her overpowering desire to join our team, despite clear mental, physical and moral deficiencies seemed to have swayed our screening officers. She's apparently made good friends with Vanas, talking in that incomprehensable dialect. It almost makes me wish we never captured South Carolina.

Finally, Ryan Thunder is average. He's so average, that we don't know what to make of it. He's so-so excited about joining our elite team, and moderately eager for battle. His skills are acceptably acceptable, and I don't think anyone has strong feelings for or against him. Since nobody actively wants him dead as far as I know, we've added him to the reserve roster.

With that said... we have a new bloody enemy.

Those alien-worshippers we've detected via aerial recon have made a play for our South American port. As our only holding on that continent, it represents a vital beachhead for future expansion. Squad McLargeHuge has been dispatched to deal with this foe. The team will consist of Peptuck, Vendetta, Vanas, White Haven and Ryan Thunder. Vanas had just completed her training in the use of rocket launchers, so we're equipping her with the captured reticulan concussion launcher.


Team McLargeHuge landed at our receiving pad, where our non-combat personnel were evacuating. They proceeded into the base, knowing only that their foe was reported to be a team of commandos armed with unknown weapons.


"That's a... big gun!" gasped Vanas. "Reckon Awh'll hit 'em with 'dis ere Rock-it, chief?"
"Shit, is that a freaking sword? They've got Cyborgs and humans and Psykers..." murmured Vendetta, checking her antique AK-47 assault rifle as the team observed the enemy activity from a window.
"Cut the talk. Rush to that bridge and give them a rocket. We'll cut them up in the open." snapped Peptuck, who glaaaared menacingly at Vanas's accent.
White Haven nodded. "..."
Ryan Thunder displayed no strong feelings what so-ever.


The team rushed out and reached the bridge in short order, while the enemy forces were occupied in trying to breach the wall with explosives. Ryan hit the prone position, aiming with his M4 Carbine. Peptuck and Vendetta crouched low, leveling their weapons. Peptuck waved a hand, giving the signal for Vanas to fire the rocket...


...it falls substantially short of the target. The blast wave floors every member of the team, except Ryan Thunder who was already prone. He opens fire on the startled group of cultists.


Peptuck gets to her feet, and with Vendetta's assistance, ragdolls the poor Sword-wielding Cultist into the storm gutter while firing full auto from the hip.


With the rockets being a wash, and the enemy closing to minimize their usefulness, Vanas switches to her backup laser rifle. Thunder meanwhile, places a moderately-well aimed bullet into the enemy psionic's chest, against which her polyester jumpsuit is found wanting. The enemy Cyborg however, fires long bursts, striking several of the team in their protective vests.


Peptuck advances to the rear from the Cyborg's onslaught, as round after round bounces harmlessly off his metal carapace. He laughs with a thick eastern accent. "Cry s'um more! Haaaahahahaaaaa!"


Desperate and unable to stop this monster, White Haven bravely gives out her battle cry, "!!!". She stands up, firing away with her Psi-Blaster. With no defense against mental attack, the Cyborg collapses from the shock. The remaining one cultist retires from the field of battle, escaping while the team tends to their injuries.


Mission accomplished. We've retrieved a substantial amount of yet unknown weaponry from their defeated forces, including weird weapon attachments, and a curious human-designed laser pistol. They additionally have a sort of motion detector we will analyze, as well as that stupid sword. Yosemite Bear has been quite busy interrogating the captured Cyborg, with help from Pezook. I still feel queasy after Pezook showed us his assortment of built-in power tools and their... um. Many uses.

Still, I feel quite pleased that our team was able to take on the best this 'Cult of Sirius' has to offer. One of their elite strike forces was cut down by ours, despite the setback from Vanas's rocket launcher. She will have to train extra hours to ensure something disastrous like that doesn't happen again.

*bleep bleep*
Hello?
*transmission from astronomical lab*

Please wait for image transmission, Colonel.

I don't see anything. Doc, what's there for me to---



...that... doesn't look good.

This Laputa is equipped with a wide array of astronomical instruments, and we have been using them to monitor activity in the solar system.
We have observed a large object that is moving at a high rate of speed. It has just passed the orbit of Neptune, and appears to be moving towards earth.
The object is about fifty kilometers wide. Based on the data we have collected, the object does not appear to be natural in origin. During out observations, it has altered its speed several times. This indicates someone or something is controlling it. If it were a rogue asteroid or comet, it's speed and course would be dictated by the sun's gravitational pull.
At present speed, the object should reach earth in about 14 days. We must continue our investigation, and prepare ourselves as best we can for the object's arrival.

How the hell are we supposed to prepare for a giant rock?!

*End Recording*

[Vanas]

Who taught them thar psychs to make mah rockets miss?! I'm sure ah that ah checked that manual a dozen times.

[Darkevilme]

How the hell are we supposed to prepare for a giant rock?!

Lots and lots of RPG-7s is the answer. Also, yay..man of steel darkevilme is finally healed up again and ready to crush puny cultists with his superior metal arm.

[Ryan Thunder]

I'm average. Yay for flexibility?

[Ford Prefect]

An officer should have a sword.

And a giant rock? They throw high velocity asteroids at you in this game? It's fifty kilometres wide! We're going to have to Armageddon up in this bitch or something. How quickly can Nitram split the atom?

[PeZook]

It's actually a rather more insidious rock.

[Ford Prefect]

So not only is it approaching at millions of kilometres an hour and is the size of small European nation, it's insidious? Looks like our biggest problem isn't our image to the unwashed masses of mud people.

[Peptuck]

How the hell are we supposed to prepare for a giant rock?!

There is nothing that sufficient numbers of AK-47s cannot deal with.

[Karrick]

I actually just got to this part of the game in my own playthrough. I've never played Aftershock before, so I'm more than a little curious as to what I have to kill next.

And oh, what the hell. Sign me up as a cyborg, whatever specialization is convenient. Purge the cultists! *tips commissar hat*

[The Yosemite Bear]

At times like these I wonder why I ever left Aparture Science

because the cake was dry, and tacky

[Nephtys]

Feel free to add a few more 'diary entries' or whatever, if you like doing that. Spices up LPs and makes it a group game.

So anyway, I'm getting some moar soldiers... and I have a stash of stupidly accurate XM8s. Should we use these beige deathsticks, or stick to cold war rock and roll?

We're going to also need a name for our soon to be deployed second team.

[The Yosemite Bear]

moar b33r, that is all

[Ford Prefect]

Feel free to add a few more 'diary entries' or whatever, if you like doing that. Spices up LPs and makes it a group game.

Oh, you don't want that, Colonel.

So anyway, I'm getting some moar soldiers... and I have a stash of stupidly accurate XM8s. Should we use these beige deathsticks, or stick to cold war rock and roll?

McLargeHuge can always do with a firepower upgrade. I say deploy the XM8s. I like the design.

We're going to also need a name for our soon to be deployed second team.

McSmallTiny. Duh.

[PeZook]

BTW, I never could complete the game (it gets horribly, HORRIBLY repetitve and tedious by the end) so could anybody quickly summarize what the deal was with the Wargots and the Star Ghosts and the general big plot reveal which is supposedly in the end?