"Oh well, I guess that's totally fair," Shroom laughed. "My homeboys might see that as escalation, but as long as we both keep a reign on things and go on with our cunning plan and keep on winking and nudging at each other, we can probably keep our respective Parliaments in place and prevent things from becoming too insane. Man, we're totally such clever cool cats!"Coyote wrote:You too," Arik said, glad he could relax again. "I.. uh, look, I feel I need to apoligize for the way my Parliament flipped out over the CATO thing. It's part of our history-- the Communists in Canissia, long ago, had a violent revolution that ended in civil war... so we still have a lot of people here that see Communists as a big threat, always trying to undermine Canissia. The Nationalists and Royalists in particular are jumping at the Red shadow all the time."
"Aha," Shroom said, "So, when they see a big, huge super-bloc of Communoid nations forming in the east, they naturally think that Canissia a the target for undermining," he said, quietly pleased at his on-the-spur coining of the term "communoid".
"Precisely," Arik said, "I've heard all kind sof conspiracy theories... that CATO wants to unite the entire Old Continent in Red Revolution. Now, with Shroomania on our south-west, some of our more conservative members feel encircled. Surrounded."
"But CATO is primarily concerned with real threats," Shroom pointed out, "Like Japanistan. And Byzantium has a potential border with Japanistan interests in his south."
"Oh, I know," Arik said, "I'm worried about sushiland myself. And I understand why Heraclius wants assurance from both MESS and CATO, or the SNC as it was called, since he's on the doorstep... and doesn't want to become a doormat."
"A sushi doormat," Shroom put in.
"That reminds me," Arik said, "We'll need sushi for lunch tomorrow. Now I have a craving."
"So, you're also going to expand your military?" Shroom asked.
"Yeah," Arik replied, sipping at his brandy, "I'm using the CATO scare to my advantage. I wanted a Naval expansion program, and some more Army programs, and the Parliament originally outvoted me on it. Now, the economy is better and I have this 'big threat'," he said, using 'air quotes', "...to stir some action. And of course I can expand the spending on the solid-state lasers and get the Greens on board, since they don't produce waste like the chemical-based THELs did."
"So who's left out in the cold?" Shroom asked.
"Labor," the King replied, "I can form enough of a coalition without them, though, at least for this. Besides," he said with a smile, "Their lack of enthusiasm is only half-hearted. Their political base, my factory and dockworkers, stand to benefit from a defense buildup. So..." the King said, leaning back, "I guess it is my job to tell you, as the goodwill man from CATO, that there'll be a defense buildup and some rancorous rhetoric from my Nationalists, but it's all thunder and bluster for domestic consumption..."
"Politics, my friend, is one hell of a game," Arik spread his arms and leaned back. "I'm sure your friend Sidney Hank could've told you all about that."
"Eh, nah!" Shroom dismissed. "He was too busy telling me all about going Rambo and blowing Coilerburger tank battalions up."
"I thought it was just one tank," Arik raised an eyebrow.
"Well, he was very drunk with sake. He was talking all about the Coilerburgers and the goddamn Communoids."
"Goddamn Communoids," Arik chuckled and swirled his liquor glass.
"Goddamn," Shroom laughed. "I wonder how I got my people to get into the whole CATO program. We're just about as capitalistic as you guys and we've had our own fair share of past problems with the goddamn Communoids and those Crimsons. Why, back in the past... why, it was practically Cold War. It was only after we started thawing stuff up, Stas and I, that things got better.
"When the Pathogen War got really bad, the Crimsons actually helped deflect some of the Shepistani missiles aimed our way, and I guess after that, we basically realized that with all the crazies, we had to back each other up - commie scum or capitalist pig-dog. Some didn't take easy to it, decades of being dicks to each other and all that, but it helped that we were all buddies with Byzantium and PeZookia," Shroom went on. "I guess if we, Shroomania, helped Canissia ease up with CATO, we could make things a bit cooler between the power blocs?"
"That could work," Arik nodded and gulped his booze. "Might take a while, but it'd still be progress - slow and soft, rather than hard and fast, but in this case that might work better. And you're right, better you than Comrade Stas as Goodwill Ambassador!"
"I've got a cunning plan, man." Shroom said, holding up his index finger and being all clever-like.
"Yeah?" Arik asked.
"Your Labor dudes are most concerned with the factory and dockworker guys? Well, I've been thinking something over and have been meaning to ask you something..."
"Ahuh?"
"What if, say, we go building bridges between Canissia and CATO, for the betterment of brotherly brevity? I've been thinking of starting out an initiative between Canissia and Shroomania, one of your friendlier CATO neighbors that's not all Communoid like the Crimsons and Shadows.
"An initiative that's like our butt-shaped Chunnel, but on super-steroids! Linking Shroomania directly to the Old Continent by connecting it to Canissia, and then through Canissia, making roads and rails and other awesome infrastructures to the rest of the OC sans Sushiland. We can connect Shroomania and Canissia by a second bigger, larger, stronger and faster Chunnel! With lots of ferries too! And maybe even a HUEG bridge!" Shroom stood up and declared. "Call it the Cross Canissian-CATO Continental Connection! An unprecedented megaproject for the future! Everybody wins!"
"
- PeZook
