Freeform Infocom Game

[Questor]

The Baron runs into the cave, making it out of the entranceway, but still manages to hit wall after wall. Perhaps he should light a torch.

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[KrauserKrauser]

Light genitals on fire.

[Questor]

The Baron lights his genitals on fire, the fire spreads across the dried feces spread across his skin, killing him.

Restoring from last checkpoint...

The Baron runs into the cave, making it out of the entranceway, but still manages to hit wall after wall. Perhaps he should light a torch.

You fall into a stream of water.

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[Enigma]

drink copiously from the stream and try to light anything on fire.

[Questor]

You drink from the stream, but are unable to light anything on fire.

In other news, the Dwarvish Roman Legions of Brian the God-Bear are terrorizing the AYVB.

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[Enigma]

Feel the walls until you come to the dwarves home.

[Questor]

You feel around the walls, until you fall through into another pool of water. You are carried out through a waterfall into a large lake.

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[KrauserKrauser]

Attempt to drown Narrator

[Questor]

Your attempts to drown the narrator fail, as you cannot find him.

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[KrauserKrauser]

Attempt to advance the plot to a point where protaganist is not completely useless.

[Questor]

The Baron could be very useful, as long as he doesn't do insane things like smearing his own feces on himself. The protagonist is very strong, a good rider, and an accomplished swordsman.

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[Enigma]

But he has no powers to summon things or have any other special powers and in the party despite being a good rider and a swordsman, is still a complete retard compared to the rest. So why not act like one?

Run back in and try until you find the dwarves home.

[Enigma]

OOC: Once this is over, I think this would make for a nice and funny story to be put up in Fanfics.

[The Yosemite Bear]

hey didn't I just show you HOW to make power for yourself, and advance the plot?

After all the minions are only a means to conquering the AYVB for use as dragon Chow. now While the Dwarven Empire isn't a threat to HAB yet, they are conquring and enslaving for us, and they think that the party is composed of Gods. (they just think that the protagonist is the equivalent of Loki or Lucifer, but a god none the less)

And someoen should have figured out I was going to try and build a Roman Empire when I started construction of a Flavian Collesium in Riverton.

[Questor]

The Baron finds, at the bottom of the lake, a summoning stone. Perhaps he should summon some pants?

OOC: Also, you still had the powered armor, you just forgot about it.

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[Hawkwings]

Summon pants, followed by the most advanced weapon available. If the most advanced weapon available is not some sort of modern or futuristic firearm, summon a high-quality sword instead.

[The Yosemite Bear]

well you still have a soul stealing sword, it's just full of the souls of darkstar's minions. some higher quality souls would probably make it a better sword. Infact if you kill enough people it may start becomming more intellegent then you, and calling it's self "Stormbringer"

In fact the next time your in a place with lots of people, kill the best swordsmen, the wisest judges, and the sneakiest lawyers.

[darthdavid]

Summon the book "The Force For Dummies: How to be a Sith Lord in 10 Easy Steps"
Read the book

[Questor]

You have summoned another sword to your side, but this is not a magical soul stealing sword. It is just a normal, steel, sword.

After reading the book The Force For Dummies: How to be a Sith Lord in 10 Easy Steps you discover the answers to all the questions that have ever been asked in the PSW forum, but are still unable to levitate a stone.

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[KrauserKrauser]

Don power armor, kill Brian.

[Questor]

Brian is leading his troop of Dwarf Romans, ye is not near you.

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[Hawkwings]

catch up with the troop of Dwarf Romans

[Questor]

Your powered armor allows you to rapidly track and catch up to the Dwarf Romans.

You see them conquering and enslaving the AYVB by displaying icons of Lady Beth in scanty attire.

She has been declared the Godess-Queen of the AYVB.

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[KrauserKrauser]

Crash into the fray wielding the soul sucking sword. Suck souls.

[Questor]

You begin sucking the souls of the AYVBs into your sword. You find that your sword goes from saying moronic things like "the superlaser would be stopped by our navigational deflectors" to "Boobies!!!!!!!!!1!!1!111!111one!!!11!one!!!11!one!!!!!!111!!one!1!11!one!!!!."

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