The Ark of Convenant...

Warspite · Post by **Warspite** » 2003-02-07 07:35am

The title says all. The ARK.
Was it real? A mith? Is it buried in the Khouram Mountains (sp?)? Is it hidden in a chamber, sorrounded by snakes? What's inside it?

Discuss!

Sir Sirius · Post by **Sir Sirius** » 2003-02-07 07:55am

I suppose an ark called the Ark of the Covenant could have existed, but it most certainly had no supernatural properties and didn't contain two stone tables made by god himself (just a bunch of flesh eating skeletal ghosts that will kill anyone who looks at them).

Everyone knows that the Ark of the Covenant is in a U.S. Army warehouse, it was placed their for safe keeping after it had been recovered from the Nazi's (who suffered a rather nasty fate when they opened it).

Not even the bible agrees on what was in it. 1 Kings 8:9 and 2 Chronicles 5:10 claim that there was nothing but the two stone tables, but Hebrews 9:4 says that it contained "...the golden pot that had manna, and Aaron's rod that budded, and the tables of the covenant." (the bible is obviously blissfully ignorant of the presense of the nasty ghosts, this maybe do to the fact that anyone who tries to look in to the ark to see whats in it will die a horrible death).

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-02-07 08:39am

Of course there's an ark, though given its anti Nazi effect I suspect it's filled with celsium-147 or something. If the US Army bureaucracy can ever track it down, probably been shipped to Guam as replacement socks by now, modern radiation detectors should be able to tell us

There might have been an Ark, but its far more likely to have been melted down then to be hidden in a mountain

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-02-07 08:49am

Oh, that Ark? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. It's in my basement. I us it on JWs when they walk by.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-02-07 08:52am

I heard it is in Ethiopia and the guardian is a 65 year old man with cataract.
good startegy have it kept by someone with vision problem

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2003-02-07 09:21am

My guess is that it was likely destroyed long ago -- probably stripped of its gold by one of the enemies of Israel.

Perinquus · Post by **Perinquus** » 2003-02-07 09:25am

Montcalm wrote:I heard it is in Ethiopia and the guardian is a 65 year old man with cataract.
good startegy have it kept by someone with vision problem

Yeah, I saw a documentary on this subject a while back. How interesting that they won't allow anyone to view the Ark. Apparently most people aren't "holy" enough to be allowed to profane the Ark with their presence. How convenient.

ArthurDent · Post by **ArthurDent** » 2003-02-07 09:29am

Wasn't it originally carried to Babylon when they pillaged the temple? I don't recall that it ever returned. Probably got melted down for the gold or something.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2003-02-07 09:45am

as real as the flood?

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-02-07 10:06am

Did it exist? I would say with almost certainty: Yes. You would think they would have something in their temple to revere? Magic powers are another matter entirely.

I found this, which gives history, plus theories:

http://www.israeltoday.co.il/article/De ... rticleID=5

Pastor Andy · Post by **Pastor Andy** » 2003-02-07 10:29am

Wasn't it originally carried to Babylon when they pillaged the temple? I don't recall that it ever returned. Probably got melted down for the gold or something

That's the best guess. Either by Nebuchadnezzar during his invasions in the 7th cen. BC, or perhaps a few hundred years earlier by Shishak.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-02-07 11:07am

Be weird if Saddam had gotten a hold of it and was ready to use it...

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2003-02-07 11:22am

The ORIGINAL ark, as far as I can find out, was an Egyptian Sarcophagus that the slaves brought out of Egypt, and it would have carried the tablets as well as Joseph's mummy.

It was captured as war booty several times; remember that the middle east has had a prolonged history of violent conquerings. There is no reason to suspect it survived.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-02-07 12:02pm

(hums Indiana Jones theme)

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-02-07 12:21pm

Montcalm wrote:I heard it is in Ethiopia and the guardian is a 65 year old man with cataract.
good startegy have it kept by someone with vision problem

Dont you see? If he his blind he cant have his face melted by the spirits inside. ( duh duh dum dah )

Lord_Xerxes · Post by **Lord_Xerxes** » 2003-02-07 12:28pm

We must draft a plan to find and capture this ark. Then we shall let it loose on the fundies of the world.

"I have come to offer you a concession. I have learned that all you are saying about god and the bible is true, after looking into this Ark."

"Really?" *peers* "EEERRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

"Sucker..."

Warspite · Post by **Warspite** » 2003-02-07 12:41pm

What's the current stance of the Israeli Autorithies? And by that, I mean political and religious.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-02-08 07:12am

I've heard that the Ark of the Covenant actually contained a primitive electrical powersource, which Moses used to generate lightning-like effects.

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2003-02-08 12:31pm

Do you hear a lot of things like that?

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-02-08 12:45pm

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Do you hear a lot of things like that?

No, I get plenty of silly ideas on my own.

As a side note, it was something I heard on the Discovery Channel, and they told something about a primitive source of electricity that could be made back in the Bronze Age, although it can't do more than some visual fireworks. I can't remember exactly how I hear it worked, but it involved some metal plating in a wooden box that caused some sort of electromagnetical effect.

I admit, at first I wondered how Discovery Channel would allow THAT to hit the airwaves....