Freeform Infocom Game

[The Yosemite Bear]

bear summon's skillet of fire. (looks like a balrog weapon in the form of a frying pan, not via the summoning stone, more like an innate ability)

[Questor]

WHORES bites the troll in half, and feasts on its entrails. He offers entrails to Brian, Beth, the hero, and the panthers.

The Skillet of Fire appears. There is a rush of cold air, and WHORES looks around.

>|

[The Yosemite Bear]

cooks troll cheeks and mushrooms.

[Questor]

Brian's Cheek'n'shrooms are finished.

>|

[The_Saint]

Pocket entrails.

[The Yosemite Bear]

stuffs troll meat into etrails, makes troll sausage, cooks troll sausage, offers troll sausage to beth and whores and the panthers.

[KrauserKrauser]

Pouts endlessly that the Bear did not offer sausage to them.

[Questor]

WHORES snacks on the sausage, when you hear another troll calling.

>|

[The Yosemite Bear]

Attempt at making a troll lure call.

[Questor]

Brian yells, "Janeway is the sexiest woman in Star Trek!"

You hear a troll running toward you through the cave.

>|

[The Yosemite Bear]

I need to find a better troll lure, that one sickened me....

[Questor]

You are confronted by a strange creature. It looks almost like a neanderthal, but it is wearing a badly made 24th century starfleet uniform.

>|

[The Yosemite Bear]

Well so now we know the answer that has been plaguing Joss Whedon, what would happen if cavemen faced spacemen.

smacks creature on head with flaming frying pan. now where did I put that humbolt green?

[KrauserKrauser]

Perform horrific science experiments on neanderthal man.

Rename shambling remains as "Pup Pup" and learn mind control from study of primitive brain.

[The Yosemite Bear]

erm, I smacked it on the dead with a frying pan of fire, most of the wounds should be cauterized, though if trolls have brains is another story.

[Questor]

Your attempts to learn mind control from the empty space inside the troll's head fails. While the troll is knocked to the ground and on fire, it is not dead yet.

Through the screams, you hear it mumbling about something called "Janeway Porn."

>|

[The Yosemite Bear]

continue bludging with flaming frying pan, this time wailing on the other head....

[Questor]

The troll has been beaten and burned into ashes.

WHORES is disappointed that there are no entrails to eat.

>|

[The Yosemite Bear]

wait I only decapitated and then smashed the thing's gonands with a flaming frying pan, there should be plenty of arm and legs, and even some torso remaining....

[Questor]

This troll was young (hence it's search for "Janeway Porn"), and had not developed the thickened, flame resistant hides of its older, more famous counterparts.

>|

[Logical Mike]

Summon an onager and launch WHORES in a high arch for his complaint. Then check status.

OOC: Kinda new here, want to know what we have.

[Questor]

Your attempts to summon an onager big enough to launch a griffen that can carry people and bears on his back is unsuccessful.

The hero is carrying nothing (as he has repeatedly dropped all of his equipment to urinate over the terrain).

WHORES is carrying the hero's power armor, if he ever remembers he has it.

Lady Beth is wearing functional leather armor, and carries a bow and several daggers (Think Kahlen from Legend of the Seeker).

There are two panthers as part of the group.

We have a limited use summoning stone, along with an almost full soul stealing sword.

Have I forgotten anything?

>|

[The Yosemite Bear]

The sacred texts of munchikindom.

[Questor]

I thought those were in the temple of wank, deep in the destroyed realm of recgames-mecha, one of the first places to have HAB unleashed?

>|

[Logical Mike]

Tell whores he's a good griffon and ask where he suggests we go next.