Let's Play: HOUSE OF HELL

[Stark]

Oh... dear?

So. Do we follow the spooky ghost in the house of hell? Or... not do that? Does it sound clever?

[avatarxprime]

Stupid but brave seems to favor following the ghost, the fact that we are playing House of Hell favors not following the ghost. Oh well, let's continue this character driven story and follow the ghost.

[Lusankya]

If I remember my Tim Burton movies well enough, following the dead girl in the bride dress will lead to self-realisation and zany adventures.

Let's follow her and ask her to marry us. Hopefully she will lead us to a world of colour and song.

[Ford Prefect]

She's got nice tits for a dead chick. I say follow her.

[Twoyboy]

You fools. This is FF... where chivalry (in other words... chauvinism) rule. MALE ghosts are honorable and helpful. Female ghosts will seduce us and drag our souls down into the depths of despair!!

But since I think we may have already made some bad decisions, I say we follow her. A quick death's a good one.

[Lusankya]

You fools. This is FF... where chivalry (in other words... chauvinism) rule. MALE ghosts are honorable and helpful. Female ghosts will seduce us and drag our souls down into the depths of despair!!

Yeah... but titties!

[The Yosemite Bear]

At least it's not the girl in the wall, that one never shuts up, and keeps playing the rolling stones.

[Phantasee]

I say we follow the tits.

[Stark]

Wow. I had to go in and MADLY add paragraph breaks in this one, so be warned.


Hot ghost-on-salesman action ahoy?


Oh dear she's a talker... and she's not into masters... but he sounds pretty cool; hot and cold running nurses!


So now we're left with a choice, after the ghost dogs kill the ghost bride in the house of hell. Having finally had an actual plot point dangled in front of us, we can tell the book 'yes we'd like to destroy the hell demons of fire satan' or we could say 'nah fuckem lets get out of here. I've got an appointment.'

What are the thoughts?

[Zablorg]

The only way we're getting out of here alive is if the dogs cower away before the scent of our heroin in our pocketsism. Take the quest.

lol o right the dogs are gone

fine then fuck em we've got drug rendezvous that we're late for.

[Ford Prefect]

Okay, character development time.

One, we're really brave/stupid. Two, we like chicks. So obviously we go rescue the district nurse. She's apparently a hottie.

[Vendetta]

We are nigh fearless and somewhat hardy, our only logical course of action is to brave this den of horrors in the name of love a possible risque paragraph or two.

[Zablorg]

Fine, I guess that's right.

Although if we're going to be sacrificed it'll be because we ran over their associate, lied about our intentions, broke a window, and burgled a cosmetics lab.

[Stark]

More rooms. And - uh oh - we've been turned around and can enter Azazel again. And lord of DREAMYS!

[Lusankya]

Go to the Mephisto room.

He'll totally drop some awesome items. Plus, if it's too hard, we can always stand on the other side of the moat and throw rocks at him. He'll have no idea what to do.

... Oh, wait. I think I'm playing the wrong game here.

Oh well. Let's see what the Mephisto room has to offer anyway. We already know what the Azazel room has.

[Phantasee]

I say we follow the tits. Again. And go to the Azazel room again to rummage through the cupboards and drawers.

[Stark]

Okay I went with Lus because I wanted to test the book's structure... and lo and behold ...



How can the door be stuck? This should be the door we escaped from.



Aha! It is; the broken glass jammed the door and we never bothered to look at the outside of the door to see it's silly name.

Anyway, we can continue along the landing or return to the Azazel room (I'm not sure how much this'll break the book but we only did one thing in there last time).

I hope the images aren't messed up for anyone in this post...

[The Yosemite Bear]

prove to the doctor that the daemon hounds are just real dogs, with phospher on their teeth.

[Lusankya]

Go to the Azazel room and look in the cupboards for biscuits.

Oh, and take the rope and put it in our invisible backpack.

[Stark]

Take knotted rope?

Autoerotic asphyxiation... in the House of Hell!

[Lusankya]

Well, you know that if we don't take it, we'll get to a point where it says "If you have this rope, you can try to advance the plot, but if you don't then you die." And it's not as though they have space or weight limitations or anything like that (do they?).

[Stark]

I think you're overestimating the mechanics of 80s gamebooks. There's only half a dozen of these that have inventory limits. It's not like Lone Wolf here!

[Lusankya]

Excellent. Then from now on, we're going to loot everything wholesale.

[Zablorg]

Eat one of our provisions.

[Stark]

Think, McFly, think!