Jar Jar on Enterprise D
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- Typhonis 1
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Jar Jar on Enterprise D
Okieday Folks everyones faveorite tar..I mean Gungan winds up on the Enterprise d. What happens next ,How long can Picard stand him?How badly will he cause the ship to explode your opinions and posts are welcome? Does Worf finnaly rid us of the pest?
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- NecronLord
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More likely "sling him out of the airlock!"Yuri wrote:Picard: "Mr. Worf, throw him in the brig."
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Well if there anywhere near earth Picard has him arrest and turned in for the 42 Billion Reward I offered for his Capture and supsquent burning at the stake
Sure it was only a Million Dollers then but its been in the bank for awhile (What 2000 years? )
Sure it was only a Million Dollers then but its been in the bank for awhile (What 2000 years? )
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Yeah, but remeber those commie feds have done away with money.
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The Enterprise is DOOMED!!!!!!
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That was disapointing ..Should we show this Federation how to build a ship so we may have worthy foes? Typhonis 1
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When you want peace prepare for war! --Confusious
That was disapointing ..Should we show this Federation how to build a ship so we may have worthy foes? Typhonis 1
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Everything goes swimmingly with the Gungan's visit to the ST universe, until Jar-Jar eventually fucks up some mission-critical part of the Enterprise and Picard decides to confine him to quarters for the crew's safety. Since Jar-Jar is "chamingly naive" (i.e thick as two short planks coated with extra-thick pigshit) he'll regard the two security guards armed with standard phasers as a threat to his life, and will then run amok, flailing desperately to escape his assailants. This results in "slapstick humour", as Jar-Jar's antics "hilariously" result in him running free for hours and hours, the security forces being knocked over, having thier boots stuck to the floor by glue, trapped between floors, crushed by specious hydraulic pressing machinery, etc. As there are a lot of gullible 5-year-olds with Jar Jar rucksacks in the audience demographic, the character-shield demonstrated in TPM's climatic farrago will keep him safe though all kinds of warp-core and plasma-conduit related hi-jinks.
We never get to see the end of the episode, however, because the transmission is interupted by a newsflash about the thousands of ST fans and other innocent viewers worldwide, all simultainously blowing their brains out with Bulldog .44s.
We never get to see the end of the episode, however, because the transmission is interupted by a newsflash about the thousands of ST fans and other innocent viewers worldwide, all simultainously blowing their brains out with Bulldog .44s.
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Captain's Log star date something.
We have a floppy eared idiot on board who is telling us that he is from another galaxy. Twice now we have had to stop him from trying to unplug the warp core. I am assuming the big "do not touch" sign is just too tempting for the moron. If it happens again, I've decided to space him. We have since placed him in the holodeck. With the expectation that a malfunction is due any moment, he will be subsequently killed and we can claim innocence in the matter.
We have a floppy eared idiot on board who is telling us that he is from another galaxy. Twice now we have had to stop him from trying to unplug the warp core. I am assuming the big "do not touch" sign is just too tempting for the moron. If it happens again, I've decided to space him. We have since placed him in the holodeck. With the expectation that a malfunction is due any moment, he will be subsequently killed and we can claim innocence in the matter.
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Oh, I think Jar-Jar would fit in quite nicely with that crew
Let's face it, the Enterprise-D has Riker the Chief-Cook-and-Bottle-Washer, it has Data the Incompetent, and Reg "Twitch" Barclay in their company.
What's one more incompetent on that crew, more or less?
What's one more incompetent on that crew, more or less?
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After causing nothing but problems for 2 days, Worf and Riker load Jar-Jar into a photon torp casing and shoot it into a nearby star. However, before the torp can reach the star in enters a wormhole. Upon exit from the wormhole, the torp with Jar-Jar is recovered by a ship piloted by Neelix. Neelix and Jar-jar became fast friends and decide to partner up. Because of the UNHOLY alliance, the Federation and Empire sign a mutual defense treaty for the sole purpose of eliminating this threat to sentient life everywhere.
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Jar Jar fucks up the comm gear, and with teh power of technobabble a signal is somehow sent, which is simply noise to the Feds, but to the Executor, it's a message that Vader's childhood friend Jar Jar is on board the Enterprise-D, and the message also contains the coordinates of a wormhole that opens in front of the E-D. Vader drops out, and orders his men to open fire. Nuff said.
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Actualy, their is a way to handle this entire situation. As soon as Jar-Jar shows up, the Borg attack the enterprise, and takes the chucnk of the ship containing Jar-Jar. the borg assimilate him, then immeidatly commit suicide to purge themselves of his thoughts. The cube's resulting explosion destroys the Enterprise D.
In the end, everybody wins. SW wins because they get rid of Jar-Jar. The Feds win because they get rid of Riker, Barcley, and all those other brainless misfits and outcasts. the SW fans win because JAr-Jar is dead. The ST fans win because Riker is dead.
In the end, everybody wins. SW wins because they get rid of Jar-Jar. The Feds win because they get rid of Riker, Barcley, and all those other brainless misfits and outcasts. the SW fans win because JAr-Jar is dead. The ST fans win because Riker is dead.
Everything goes swimmingly with the Gungan's visit to the ST universe, until Jar-Jar eventually fucks up some mission-critical part of the Enterprise and Picard decides to confine him to quarters for the crew's safety. Since Jar-Jar is "chamingly naive" (i.e thick as two short planks coated with extra-thick pigshit) he'll regard the two security guards armed with standard phasers as a threat to his life, and will then run amok, flailing desperately to escape his assailants. This results in "slapstick humour", as Jar-Jar's antics "hilariously" result in him running free for hours and hours, the security forces being knocked over, having thier boots stuck to the floor by glue, trapped between floors, crushed by specious hydraulic pressing machinery, etc. As there are a lot of gullible 5-year-olds with Jar Jar rucksacks in the audience demographic, the character-shield demonstrated in TPM's climatic farrago will keep him safe though all kinds of warp-core and plasma-conduit related hi-jinks.
We never get to see the end of the episode, however, because the transmission is interupted by a newsflash about the thousands of ST fans and other innocent viewers worldwide, all simultainously blowing their brains out with Bulldog .44s.
We never get to see the end of the episode, however, because the transmission is interupted by a newsflash about the thousands of ST fans and other innocent viewers worldwide, all simultainously blowing their brains out with Bulldog .44s.
that is so beautiful, LOL. die Ja Ja and feddie wimps.
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"Women prefer stories about one person dying slowly. Men prefer stories of many people dying quickly."-Niles from Frasier.
- Vertigo1
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Jar Jar appears aboard the Enterprise and all of a sudden, gets his tongue stuck to an EPS tap, killing himself instantly.
Trekkies and Warsies alike rejoice and hold a huge ass party, music by ewoks banging on stormtrooper helmets.
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Troi tries to counsel Jar Jar and figure out why he acts so dumb. Troi gives up and commits suicide. Jar Jar decides to try to play football with the dilithium crystals...as a result of his tampering the already unstable warp core explodes killing everyone.
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Actually, I think Troi would like Jar-Jar. She's find him "endearingly naive".
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Jar-Jar becomes best friends with Barclay and Weasly. Their hilarious adventures becomes a new ST series. At word of this the universe implodes on itself due to the rift in sanity.
Jar-Jar is kidnapped by (villan of week) and is held for ransom. However the kidnappers do not realize that they don't want him back and he is sold into slave labor to the Cardassians. Where he is killed on the spot.
Jar-Jar wanders about the E-D and finds himself in the Engineering section. He opens his mouth and the Warp Core explodes.
Jar-JAr is sent on a diplomatic mission to the neutral zone with Riker, Deanna, and Data. At the moment of lasting peace with the Romulans he trips on his feet and lands in the lap of the head Romulan. This causes war that destroys the Federation.
Jar-Jar is transferred to Voyager where he is made into a tasty stew by Neelix on "accident" the ensueing food poisoning kills the entire crew.
Jar-Jar is kidnapped by (villan of week) and is held for ransom. However the kidnappers do not realize that they don't want him back and he is sold into slave labor to the Cardassians. Where he is killed on the spot.
Jar-Jar wanders about the E-D and finds himself in the Engineering section. He opens his mouth and the Warp Core explodes.
Jar-JAr is sent on a diplomatic mission to the neutral zone with Riker, Deanna, and Data. At the moment of lasting peace with the Romulans he trips on his feet and lands in the lap of the head Romulan. This causes war that destroys the Federation.
Jar-Jar is transferred to Voyager where he is made into a tasty stew by Neelix on "accident" the ensueing food poisoning kills the entire crew.
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"Every Revolution carries within it the seeds of its own destruction."-Dune