The Poetry of Stardestroyer.Net

[Darth Fanboy]

Wet Dreams and Erection Psychosis....*

Well everybody knows that youre so beautiful
and everyone here thinks youre so wonderful

so why do I think I have a chance
to get my hands in your hot pants

because i'm aiming too high
ive got unrealistic expectations
because i'm aiming too high
I get constant rejections

you've got the kind of body that makes me crazy
but when I talk to you youre anger is amazing

you say i'm a creep and you say im a nerd
instead of date me youd rather suck on a turd

you say i'm aiming too hihg
got to lower my expectations
you say i'm aiming too high
and i'll never have your affections

so youre out of my league in a way higher class
but that'll never stop me from staring at your ass

I'm gonna keep on dreaming and never give up
its pretty pathetic but I love your D-cups

so i'll keep aiming too high
somday youll understand
and i'll keep aiming too high
ive got a picture of you and the palm of my hand


* - not the actual title but it made me laugh thinking of it. If anyone can write music for this potential song I would be fucking thrilled to hear it

[Darth Fanboy]

please don't let that last poem keep you from reading the previous few as it was written during happier days and therefore I didn't give a damn about offending people back then.

[haas mark]

Say a Solemn Prayer

Solemnly sleeping.
Carefully watching closely.
Looking into your eyes.
Waiting for your response.

A prose love in the least.
Keeping me ever close.
Leaving not a single rose behind.
Climbing heights never before envisioned.

Watching ever watchful.
Listening ever listening.
Love abiding no rules.
Connection metaphysical.

[haas mark]

Desolation

Desolation
5:15 in the morning and nowhere to go
No one to hold, nothing to do
Lonliness at its finest
Binding me
Wrapping me
Molding me into its own image
Keeping out the life of my being
Leaving me alone and in the darkness
Hiding me from the world
Watching ever closely
The world barren of thought save mine own
Creeping beneath me the ridden world seethes
Seeping out demons of helplessness
Hunger
Thirst
Fascination with the underworld
Helping me not in my journey
Nay, striking me from the front
Trying to keep me still
Silence...
Silence...
Silence...
Desolation

Inspired by this picture

[haas mark]

Submit to love, to its perils
Envy its everlasting truth
Keep it in your heart, your mind
Love, being life's one true thing
One of few things to never leave you
One of few things etched in memory
One of few things ever kept still
One of few things never meant to hurt
With only one life to live,
You have to make it worth your while
Of course, my goal, to make it such
Of course, my goal, to make it such
Enslaved by love, a good master
Taken and used, but not in a bad way
Forever bought and sold until the one
And the auction ends - and I have won

[Zaia]

Ver, that last one is just beautiful. I really love it.

[haas mark]

There are utterly loathsome individuals here.
I once called them friends.
Then they betrayed me.
The stomped on me
Used me
Took my things.
I once called them friends.
But now, not even enemies
Just individuals
Acquaitances
People I see
Used to talk to.
I once called them my friends.
And then I realized what kind of people they were
The kind to manipulate
Lie
Deceive.
I once called them friends.
There are some utterly loathsome individuals here.

[haas mark]

Remember Me

When all is said and done, when I am gone, all I ask for is remembrance.
When I leave, and you're away, all I ask for is remembrance.
Nothing in this world could hurt more than the time that we're apart.
All I am asking is, please remember me.. remember me.

When the moon sets and the stars are done and gone, all I ask for is remembrance.
When the sun has run its course, and the day ends, all I ask for is remembrance.
I am not hurt more in this life, aside from when you're not near.
All I am asking is, please remember me.. remember me.

And then you call out my name.
And then you are near me.
And then the aching stops, there's no more pain.
You remembered me.. you remembered me.

When the final chapter has been written, the last sentence checked, all I ask for is remembrance.
When the coda has been played, the ending note sounded, all I ask for is remembrance.
Nothing in the world would hurt more than ending our time together.
All I am asking is, please remember me.. remember me.

And then you call out my name.
And then you are near me.
And then the aching stops, there's no more pain.
You remembered me.. you remembered me.

And then you call out my name.
And then you are near me.
And then the aching stops, there's no more pain.
You remembered me.. you remembered me.

Please remember me.. you remembered me...

[Shinova]

Something to Remember

A spectacle of light, shadow, love, and courage,
Others, for a million years, may hear of it,
Or watch it on some record somewhere.
But I have lived it, experienced it, dived
Deeply into its fantasia of elation and wonder.
I will never forget it.
It alone has made everything worth living.

[Shinova]

The Endless Void

In front of me is an endless void.
A void, not of shadow and night,
But of a long journey of discovery and experience.
Break free of your cage and seize the light.
Go where none have gone before,
And out there in the infinite beyond,
Find you calling.

[Darth Fanboy]

She has a smile that says "hello".
And a look in her eyes that says "I know."
It's way too much for a guy like me,
and all I can do is try to be,
half the person she deserves.

Dont'cha know
I never wanted to let you go
Dont'cha know
there won't be anyone else like you

There isn't enough ways in the world,
to describe this perfect girl.
The way she makes me feel tonight,
it lets me know i'll be all right,
and it's ten times more than I deserve

Dont'cha know
no one else can be so wonderful
Dont'cha know
no else is better than a pale imitation


EDIT: Fuck Jenae, almost forgot about this archaic post.

[haas mark]

Albuquerque

I sit and wait at the bus stop
Looking through my wallet.
Bulldozers crowd the street.
It's cold and windy and I'm in a hurry.
A woman drives out of the parking garage.
The sun shines; it's cloudy; I hope it doesn't rain.

I sit and wait at the bus stop
Writing this little poem.
I see all the people walk by.
I watch all the wrong buses drive by me.
I've got cuts on my hand from the dog.
And my head's killing me with a migraine.

I sit and wait at the bus stop
Waiting to just get home.
Sitting, contemplating the death of the mayor.
I'm freezing, despite the heavy winter jacket.
I sit and wait cos it's my only way home.
I sit and wait for my bus to come to this stop.

I sit and wait at the bus stop.
And I hope it's not too much longer.
Cos the more I wait the more I ache.
I sit here, feeling joints tighten, hurting.
The cute driver is driving the bus that doesn't
Quite get to my house, not really even close.

I get on my bus, now, on my way home
And we pick up all sorts fo people.
My handsare itching from the dog bites
But hey - at least it's decently warm on the bus.
We pass all the courts, the jail, a pawn shop, Pizza Hut.
It'll just be a few minutes, now, before I'm finally home.

I'm on my bus, and I'm on my way home.
Parking lots, churches, stores, library,
The bus passes all these thingson its route.
We pass the Gold St. Apartments; I remember the first time I got high.
But it also tells me that we're leaving downtown, as we go further south.
Baseball parks, and the Spanish-speaking schools - almost there.

I'm on the bus, and not quite home, yet.
It's just one more mile to go now,
And we cross the Rio Grande, red, wet.
Lanita's Frutería is my landmark - I'm almost home.
But it's also signifying the entrance into the "ghetto."
That's partly because it's an older part of town.

I step off the bus, and I am home.
I walk in the door to a pleasant warmth,
But also to my roommate, and bouncing dogs.
And I give them a bit of dog food, in hopes that they'll calm down.
And my roommate and I leave again - busy, aslways busy.
Ah, yes, the joys of Albuquerue - for now, my home.

[haas mark]

Only Time will Tell

I keep a watch out for any small sign
That you might still care anything for me.
I listen to your voice, waiting for a hint
That maybe, in your heart, you still love me.

Now what will you say if he says, "I love you"?
Will you say those words back, or keep them hidden?
And what will you do when he tries to pressure you?
What will be on your mind? Will you be thinking of me or him?

You blew it off, and told me it was no big deal.
You said you weren't scared - is that really true?
You left me alone; now what am I supposed to do?
Let me into your true feelings, as I have let you into mine.

I thought we'd always be honest with each other,
But when I am, I get shot down in flames.
And then you prove to me that it wouldn't be,
That honesty is apparently not the best policy.

When I look at all my options, I think to myself,
"With all that I've got here, is it what I really want?
No... no... what I wanted left me... left me all alone...
Left me all alone, knowing that it is that which I fear most."

I hope you'll be happy with him, I really do.
I keep in mind what you said, but my advice at heart.
I'd follow my heart now, but I know only time will tell.
And that's what hurts most... time... time alone.

~ver.

[Shinova]

River Falling

An endless river flowing from our hearts,
Flowing with the sorrows and regrets of our lives.
And with time as its beat, it cascades in a waterfall,
A shower of falling souls and memories, carrying with it our hopes
and dreams.
All falling down in a river falling,
From our hearts to our destinies.

[haas mark]

I wrote this last night, and read it at the coffeehouse that I go to for poetry readings every Wednesday night. It was well-received, and I hope you like it as much as they ~ as well as I ~ did...

Fear

Fear
Fear of rejection
Fear of loss
Fear of you
Fear of me
Fear of hurt
Fear of pain
Fear of love
Fear of acceptance
Fear of gain
Fear

Fear
What do you fear?
What are you scared of?
I will tell you.
I will say.

You're scared of being turned down.
You're scared of being pushed away.
You're scared of losing someone close.
You're scared of waking up to find something dear to you, missing.
You're scared of yourself, and what you might find there.
You're scared of you, your own worst enemy.
You're scared of me, so different from you.
You're scared of me, scared of getting to know me.
You're scared of hurting someone close to your heart.
You're scared of hurting those you care for.
You're scared of the pain others might cause you.
You're scared of the pain that might be given to you.
You're scared of being loved when you don't love in return.
You're scared of love of abuse, of sado-masochism.
You're scared of acceptance into a society you don't agree with.
You're scared of accepting something you might not want to.
You're scared of gaining too much weight.
You're scared of gaining too much fame.

Fear?
You wonder what I fear?
You wonder what I am scared of?
I will tell you.
I will say.

I'm scared of the same things as you.

Fear
Fear of rejection
Fear of loss
Fear of you
Fear of me
Fear of hurt
Fear of pain
Fear of love
Fear of acceptance
Fear of gain
Fear

I'm scared, too.

~ver.

[haas mark]

I had someone compare this to Frost, which, I think, is a grand compliment. So, in any case, it's a poem that is more meant to be read aloud, but I'd still like to post it here, and see what you think. Out of my Dreams from a Scrapbook...

How to Write a Poem

How do you write a poem?
You sit, and write.
No!—Don't think!
Look at the leaf.
What do you see?
Don’t think! I said.
Don't think.

Look beyond the leaf.
Look beyond the tree.
Look beyond the earth.
Look beyond.

How do you write a poem?
You sit, and write.
The littlest thing
Could claim inspiration.
Look—See—Look again.
Don't think! I said.
See. Feel.

Look beyond the leaf.
Look into the leaf.
Feel the leaf.
Go beyond.
Look. Feel.

How do you write a poem?
You sit, and write.
You look at something.
You see it, look beyond it.
You feel it, and write about it.
But think always of my words—
Don't think.

[Shinova]

Shining Rain


There was a pitter-patter on the window;
I looked outside and saw rain.

Something in me struggled,
And I laid down my weary pen,
Took off my tired slippers,
Opened the sullen patio door,
And stepped out into the pouring rain.

From the grey sky above the clouds opened their arms wide,
And all around everywhere and on everyone we were given the rain.
I closed my eyes, looked up, and spread my arms;
Felt the rain on my face, drenching my clothes,
And washing clean the patio ground around me.

The raindrops, with gentleness in their hearts,
Filled in for my tears.
We, the pen, slippers, patio door, and me,
Opened our borders to the sky above
And as the rain shone down on us,
Our hearts lost their heavy chains,
And soon my tears joined the raindrops
As they washed the world clean.

[haas mark]

For Iggy

All I can say is I'll be here for you
All I can say is I want to be your friend
All I can say is "my condolences"
All I can say is I care about you

All I can do is try to be your friend
All I can do is try to help you through
All I can do is try to give you some hope
All I can do is try to help you through

[haas mark]

Forever and a Day

What is the one thing you want,
Right here, right now?
What is the one thing you need,
That will make you complete?

I hear that there's someone out there,
Someone for everyone,
Someone to make you complete,
Someone to hold you heart forever,
Forever and a day.

I hear there's someone out there,
Someone for everyone,
Someone to hold you tight,
When the winter nights become cold,
Someone to keep you warm forever,
Forever and a day.

[haas mark]

Untitled.

Quietly sitting by the fire,
Relishing in thoughts of memories long past,
Reminiscing people touched,
Friends held int ime of need,
Loves loved with heart and soul,
Wondering where it all has gone.
The crackle and pop of the burning wood
Reminds me of the fire inside,
The flame I once had, long ago,
The passion, the lustre in my eyes,
But even this is no more.
The heat coming from the desolate pit,
The joyous dancing of the fire demons
Makes me think of long ago,
Long ago, when I had a lover,
The cold winter's nights
When there was no money for wood
And I didn't need to have a fire;
All I needed was him.
And now I look upon these embers,
I gaze at them with cold, glassy eyes,
Because I know there is no other,
And that there can be no other.
I grope the ground next to me, softly,
Feeling for him, for his touch.
My hand grazes his cold skin,
My eyes meet his lifeless stare,
And with one last and final breath,
I whisper my love to him, in front of the fire.
I close my eyes, knowing that there will never be another,
Knowing I will never feel the warmth of a fire again,
And I escape, I escape with my love,
Caring not whether to the gardens of heaven,
Or whether to the bowels of hell,
As long as I am with him,
For there will never be another.
There will never be a warm fire,
Such as that which burned in my heart for him;
There will never be heated passion
Such as that which consumed my soul with him.
And so quietly we lay by the fire,
Held together by our last deep embrace,
Waiting, just waiting for the flame to rekindle,
And consume us again, this time once and for all.

[jenat-lai]

this poem is about both a tame homing pidgeon that let me pet it a little after it had by itself, simply appeared on my backyard fence. It slept overnight. It is also about a girl who helped me through some of the toughest times of my life at that point. It is dedicated to both of them, both Angels in their own right.


Free Wonderer

Wandering the heavens on wing pure white
To scour the earth in search of life
and bring to it, so fragile and pure
Love, primarily, and honour.

Perhaps not as gloriously as the Eagle
floating steady on gust, Rock solid and noble
but humble, like those she would touch
Simply by the prescence. Acknowledged and loved.

For the life to life touch
so powerfull and honorable
must also be private,
a one to one conferance.

And even across species,
the friendship of trust
the comradare of life
empowers both members to inspiration.

The very meaning of life.

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

I really suck at poetry, but I'll give it a shot:

Ghostwalk With Me

I walk your streets
Alone, tired, and dim
I stared through the windows,
Once,
Of your shops, multicolored exuberances
Reflected on my face, but never shared.

I walk your streets
Through these endless nights
The wind my companion,
But,
We speak not; there remains little left to say
The moon keeps her own council, watching me still.

I walk your streets
The death of afternoon
Burns away the excess,
Now,
What remains is purer, cleansed in pain-striped emptiness
The mind, unmoved and moving still, gains clearer, sharper vision.

I walk your streets.
...

That one's for the Regulators.

[Typhonis 1]

Its not my job to run the train

the whistle I can`t blow.

Its not my job to say how far

the trains alowed to go.

Its not my job to shovel coal

or even clang the bell.

But watch the DAMN thing junp the track

and see who catches Hell.

[Shinova]

Never Enough

It's never enough.
Always more you'll miss than treasure,
A lifetime gone, passed by you.
By fate or by will,
It is gone, and we'll see it no more.

What more can we say,
Than that it's been a blast?
But deep inside
We miss it all.
You're not alone; we all do.



Stuck

There you are, stuck to a life you cannot get out of,
It's chains bound to your body, and to your soul too.
You can't shed it like clothing, for it's worn under your skin
At best you can grin and bear it, and hope you last long enough.

But I see the pointlessness of it all.
The future is too great to waste away.
That which bind you to the past
Are nothing but your doubt and uncertainty.

Why won't you break free?

[haas mark]

Journey

As I walk through this dark forest,
And on through the city,
Through the plains, and to the beaches,
I am looking for something.

I am looking for something,
Something to complete my mission,
Something to complete my life,
And it is hard going.

And it is hard going
Through everything I've passed,
And everyone I've known,
Yet I continue my journey, my quest.

Yet I continue my journey, my quest
To see that all is right and done,
That everything is whole and complete
While I continue my searching.

While I continue my searching,
I go from corner to corner of the earth,
Looking for someone, anyone that might help,
But my journey begins here.

But my journey begins here,
Before the beaches and the plains,
Before the great cities of the world,
As I walk through this dark forest.