Thirty years from now...

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2003-02-11 07:18pm

As a soldier, I often see old retired soldiers who say things like, "Back in my day, in the brown-boot Army, we didn't have e-mails and such, and our Jeeps were the transportation of choice..." That got me to thinking of myself as a codger in a rocking chair, saying such things as, "Back in my day, in the real Army, we had vehicles with wheels and tracks, not these new-fangled hovertanks, spacefighters and such. Why in my day..."

At the rate so much has changed in the past 20 to 30 years alone, where do you see yourself 30 years from now?

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-02-11 07:20pm

"Candy stole my lipstick!"
"Don't you worry, I'll pick up more after I pick up Jenna from her breast implant surgery..."

salm · Post by **salm** » 2003-02-11 07:20pm

CADing plueprints for a third WTC?

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-02-11 07:25pm

Computers had keyboards & broadban---

are you listening to me or are you just logging on with your neurojack....

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-02-11 07:34pm

I will eventually be replaced by a machine. Damn that will suck.

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2003-02-11 07:38pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:I will eventually be replaced by a machine. Damn that will suck.

I'll be famous as the man who designed the machine that replaced you.

And don't think I'm kidding, I've just received the news that my second paper was accepted to be published. I'm on my way to success, now.

jaeger115 · Post by **jaeger115** » 2003-02-11 07:39pm

*rocks in the chair* Ah, my grandchildren, how the time has passed. Back in my time I was an elite special-ops trooper turned bounty hunter. Today, they train genetically engineered cyborgs to be elite troops!

Seriously, I'll be on Mars, rocking away in my balcony in one of the great domed cities overlooking Valles Marineris. Or in my private home lodged in the canyon wall side.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-02-11 07:55pm

Thirty years, I'd only be 51, so I might not have grandkids running around then. If I have more than one, then the youngest should still be in college...

"WHAT in the everloving name of FUCK is this?!? HOW much do those hatfuckers want for one goddamn SEMESTER? That's more than I paid for my DEGREE!!! Boy, you're going to Jiffy Lube school. WHAT? Jiffy Lube replaced all their technicians with robots?! And they STILL didn't put the right goddamn filter on my fucking car? Jesus Hortence Christ on a skateboard...what's a skateboard? Jesus Christ, I'm old. Honey, get me another beer."

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-02-11 08:00pm

"Back in my day the B in B fifty two didn't stand for blaster equipped."

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-02-11 08:05pm

*Spits tobacco juice into spitoon* Yep, gransonny, back in mah day we actually had to move to get to places, we didn't have these dad-gum brain-powered hoverlegs!

*Flys away with hoverlegs*

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-02-11 08:07pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:I will eventually be replaced by a machine. Damn that will suck.

I wouldn't worry too much. Once EMP weapons finally get going they'll do more damage to a robot's CPU than a living pilot's brain.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-02-11 08:08pm

This here thing, son, is a cheesesteak.

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2003-02-11 08:12pm

30 years from now...

ME: "FUCKING IDIOT! How do you twist your safety ring? Towards you or away from you?"
HIM: "Towards me, sergeant-major!"
ME: " Then why the FUCK did you twist it out? Are you stupid?
HIM: "No, sergeant major!"
ME: "Do you have a brain?"
HIM: "Yes, sergeant major!"
ME: "You sure or not?"
HIM: " Yes, sergeant major!"
ME: " Do you have a big brain?"
HIM: "Yes, sergeant-major!"
ME: " Doesn't look like it leh. Your conduct is atrocious, your bunk is ALWAYS untidy, and now this. Are you sure you want to be a Guardsman?"
HIM: "Yes, sergeant-major!"
ME: "THEN FUCKING SHOW IT, YOU CHEE BYE!"
HIM: " YES, SERGEANT-MAJOR!"
ME: AFter this you go and sign three extra, understand?"
HIM: "Yes, sergeant-major!"
ME: "Fuck off."

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2003-02-11 08:13pm

HemlockGrey wrote:This here thing, son, is a cheesesteak.

"But papa, what's that white tube made of paper with brown stuff in it?"

"Ah, those were called 'cigarettes', and we used to smoke them."

"Smoke them? How?"

"Like this..."

Begins to light cigarette, while outside an environmental compliance enforcement squad of EPA police commandos prepares to bust down the door...

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-02-11 08:14pm

Hmm...in 30 yrs I'll be 43, and dancing on the graves of some of ya'll.

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2003-02-11 08:14pm

In other years I'll find myself considered an ace in the USAF and i'll be running a firm

.

Cyaround,
JAson

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-02-11 08:15pm

jegs2 wrote:Begins to light cigarette, while outside an environmental compliance enforcement squad of EPA police commandos prepares to bust down the door...

...They know this by the Warwick built, Ashcroft-inspired spychip in your skull.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-02-11 08:18pm

Why, back in my day we had things called government and civilization! Not these old radioactive, bombed out nuclear blast sites! Hey three-eyed frog boy! Get outta ny radoative sardines! I had to kill three cyclopses for it, and I'll be damned if I let some frog mutant have 'em!

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-02-11 08:18pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Hmm...in 30 yrs I'll be 43, and dancing on the graves of some of ya'll.

Well shit. The erectile dysfunction won't even have set in yet by then. Enjoy paying for my social security, kid.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-02-11 08:18pm

I'm fairly sure I'll be dead.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-02-11 08:20pm

Back in my day, video games were so much harder. Why, I could beat this game with one life if I wanted to! (guess who said this)

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2003-02-11 08:28pm

My youngins back in the day before I retired from being a nuclear phsyicist I made 30 planetwide doomsday devices, 24 Solar System wide doomsday devices, 4 Galactic Wide Doomsday devices, and 1 Universal Doomsday Devices. Guess which one I still have children. Muwhaha! Muwhahaha!*Cackles and catches a heart attack as doomsday devices activates when his heart stops and the universe folds upon itself*

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-02-11 08:29pm

Running some government somewhere from behind the scenes as a senior "advisor".

Larz · Post by **Larz** » 2003-02-11 08:36pm

"Robot, reset and plaster this idiots leg for me willya. Okay, that'll be $15300 for my examination, and an extra $8000 for my robots work. Would you like to pay in kidney, lung, or eye..."

I shall spend 10 years getting my medical school degree only to take another semester worth of robotics managment and maintanance... Damnit I'll be nothing more but a mechanic with a 10 year degree!

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2003-02-11 09:17pm

HemlockGrey wrote:This here thing, son, is a cheesesteak.

NO CHEESESTEAKS?!!

BASTARDS!!!