Windows VS General Motors

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-11 09:41am

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-02-11 09:46am

HA HA thats a good one

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-11 01:36pm

I love it when someone has a go at Gates!

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-02-11 07:49pm

It would have been funnier had it been an actual statement

ReinnResauq · Post by **ReinnResauq** » 2003-02-11 09:25pm

If I could count the number of times I've read this joke or had it sent to me. At least five of my (now offline) favorite joke sites had it, like ten of my mother's friends sent it to her, two or three of my friends to me...A funny joke is a funny joke, but I think it's time we give this one a funeral.

ben · Post by **ben** » 2003-02-11 09:40pm

That was great.

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-02-11 11:11pm

ReinnResauq wrote:If I could count the number of times I've read this joke or had it sent to me. At least five of my (now offline) favorite joke sites had it, like ten of my mother's friends sent it to her, two or three of my friends to me...A funny joke is a funny joke, but I think it's time we give this one a funeral.

Agreed. If you ask me, the same should be done to the "All your base" gag.

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2003-02-11 11:19pm

Vertigo1 wrote:Agreed. If you ask me, the same should be done to the "All your base" gag.

Hmm....wellllll, all I can say is that all your base are belong to us.

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-02-11 11:21pm

IRG CommandoJoe wrote:
Vertigo1 wrote:Agreed. If you ask me, the same should be done to the "All your base" gag.
Hmm....wellllll, all I can say is that all your base are belong to us.

DIE!

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2003-02-11 11:25pm

NEVER! I will take off every zig for great justice before I die!

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-02-12 04:10am

I think there should be an archove of jokes that were great in their day but are over played.

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-12 04:54am

Well this was the first time I saw this one and I thought it was funny so I thought I'd share it with the people of SD. net who havent seen it before!

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-02-12 07:44am

Gandalf wrote:I think there should be an archove of jokes that were great in their day but are over played.

The great joke graveyard?

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-12 09:25am

Where most Knock Knock jokes lye....