What would you do if you met God?

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-02-13 04:26am

Buddha: Have kick ass deep conversation

Bible God: What the hell is wrong with you!?

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2003-02-13 05:13am

Howedar wrote:What does God need with a starship?

Same thing he needs worship for. Absolutely nothing, but it's a big ego boost.

I'd probably just walk away from him; that's what I do to most assholes.

Embracer Of Darkness · Post by **Embracer Of Darkness** » 2003-02-13 05:23am

I'd ask her for advice on transcendance.

Talking about my God(dess) here.

Mr Flibble · Post by **Mr Flibble** » 2003-02-13 06:03am

Me: "If your God why that face?"
God: "What's wrong with my face?"
Me: "It's upside down and inside out thats what's wrong with it!"

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-02-13 06:07am

I think I'd convert back to Christianity faster than a lard boy could run to an all-you-can-eat.

I don't know about you, but I'd be shitting myself if that guy was real.

Mr Flibble: Lol, saw that ep on DVD last night.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-02-13 06:24am

I can't encounter something that does not exist. But just for the sake of argument, let's just say he does.

Judeo-Christian Asshole: Kill him and take over his alien species. Immediately cease all hostilities with Lucifer and form an alliance. Come back to Earth and recant the Holy Bible in all its entirety. Give mankind the technology that god's species was selfishly hoarding for so many millenia. In short, become God, and then tell everyone to find God by using Science and Technology to conquer the Universe.

Any Others: Tell 'em hi and come on back to Earth to get rid of Jehova's stranglehold on us. Bring the space-battleships, it's gonna get ugly!

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-02-13 06:29am

kojikun wrote:I meet myself every time I look in the mirror. I always say how sexy I am.

Science Officer:WHOA!!! Captain! Ego Trip Detected on main long-range sensors closing fast! Dear Goddess it's huge!
Captain: How big is it?
SO: At least 12th Order Ragnarok!
C: Holy Shit! Full One Eighty! Gimme Hyperdrive NOW!

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-02-13 07:18am

Judeo-Christian Asshole: Kill him and take over his alien species. Immediately cease all hostilities with Lucifer and form an alliance. Come back to Earth and recant the Holy Bible in all its entirety. Give mankind the technology that god's species was selfishly hoarding for so many millenia. In short, become God, and then tell everyone to find God by using Science and Technology to conquer the Universe.

Please outline your plan to kill an omnipotent being.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-02-13 07:40am

HemlockGrey wrote:
Judeo-Christian Asshole: Kill him and take over his alien species. Immediately cease all hostilities with Lucifer and form an alliance. Come back to Earth and recant the Holy Bible in all its entirety. Give mankind the technology that god's species was selfishly hoarding for so many millenia. In short, become God, and then tell everyone to find God by using Science and Technology to conquer the Universe.
Please outline your plan to kill an omnipotent being.

False Dillema: The bastard aint. He's just a megalomaniacal space alien with delusions of adequacy. In short, the religious equivalent of Bill Gates... And besides, they haven't been back since Jesus died. By now God may very well be dead. Long Live Nietsche!!!

Embracer Of Darkness · Post by **Embracer Of Darkness** » 2003-02-13 07:57am

Einhander, Stargate comes to mind *hides*.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-02-13 08:01am

hmmmm....piss my pants and apologize for denying his existence i guess.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-02-13 08:32am

Embracer Of Darkness wrote:Einhander, Stargate comes to mind *hides*.

By the Gods, the Child has Seen the LIGHT!!!

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-02-13 08:52am

I would start a long and tedious philosophical discussion with him about some aspects of his mentality - particularly the fact that he accepts everyone into heaven if they worship him, even the most wicked.

And I would also like to know why he created the mosquito. And why whales were to have lungs instead of gills.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2003-02-13 08:55am

First thing said: "Funny, you don't look Jewish."

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-02-13 08:55am

Christian god : Slap him/her in the face with a wet trout and ask him/her if shes happy now.

Budda or Krishna: Get him drunk and talk shite for about a year.

One of the really cool Roman Headonistic gods: Take them to one of the parties i go to over the weekend.

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2003-02-13 05:22pm

Ask Him to turn water in wine.

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-02-13 05:56pm

To the Judeo-Christian God - Where the hell is your Asherah?!?

To the Greco-Roman Gods - Pass me the nectar, please...

Odin - HELL YEAH! PASS THE BEER, BITCH!

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-02-13 05:57pm

In all seriousness, I'd ask him what it was like touring with Black Sabbath.

...we are talking about Ozzy, right?

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-02-13 06:19pm

Mr Flibble wrote:Me: "If your God why that face?"
God: "What's wrong with my face?"
Me: "It's upside down and inside out thats what's wrong with it!"

Worst. Episode. Ever.

Except for series VII and VIII, of course.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-02-13 06:26pm

I would see if he needs to blow his nose or something, I'll offer him a handkerchief, then I'll put it in a plastic bag and sell it to the Vatican, and become a millionaire.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-02-13 06:42pm

It doesn't matter what diety I encounter, my response would be the same:

"Pull my finger"

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2003-02-13 07:45pm

I date her.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-02-13 08:15pm

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
HemlockGrey wrote:
Judeo-Christian Asshole: Kill him and take over his alien species. Immediately cease all hostilities with Lucifer and form an alliance. Come back to Earth and recant the Holy Bible in all its entirety. Give mankind the technology that god's species was selfishly hoarding for so many millenia. In short, become God, and then tell everyone to find God by using Science and Technology to conquer the Universe.
Please outline your plan to kill an omnipotent being.
False Dillema: The bastard aint. He's just a megalomaniacal space alien with delusions of adequacy. In short, the religious equivalent of Bill Gates... And besides, they haven't been back since Jesus died. By now God may very well be dead. Long Live Nietsche!!!

Sounds Mormon to me, with humans being able to become gods of other worlds if they behave properly on this one.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-02-13 08:23pm

If it's the Biblical God, "How exactly, does pi=3? I never got that. It always came out around 3.1, 3.2. Can you show me your math?"

Though I'll probably end up saying, "Damn. Oh well, time to leave."

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-02-13 08:34pm

Join his holy crusade to destroy the infidels, thus guaranting my high position in his bureacratic hierarchy to be set up afterwards.