Most Bizarre Things You've Ever Heard

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-12 04:06pm

I havent heard this but read it.

On a Swedish chainsaw's instructions it clearly states : Do NOT try and stop chain with hands or genitals!

Ouchkibibble!

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-02-13 09:04am

Rob Wilson wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Ever heard of the claim that George Bush in fact is an evil lizard from outer space??
Ah the fond wibblings of David Icke and his goal to unmask the space lizards that secretly rule the earth.

Don't forget the claim that Kate Moss in fact is a SGA....

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-02-13 09:16am

Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Rob Wilson wrote:
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Ever heard of the claim that George Bush in fact is an evil lizard from outer space??
Ah the fond wibblings of David Icke and his goal to unmask the space lizards that secretly rule the earth.
Don't forget the claim that Kate Moss in fact is a SGA....

Purple is the Universal Colour of peace and harmony...

RadiO · Post by **RadiO** » 2003-02-13 09:40am

The kid in my Personal and Social Studies class who sat attentively though the whole of David Lynch's The Elephant Man and was still firmly convinced that John Merrick's dad was an elephant.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-02-13 09:54am

One time i was showing my wee sister the joys of NBA and i was telling her how it was split into quaters etc. Her responce "how many Quaters are in the game?"

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-02-13 10:09am

A friend of mine told me about he and his wife were watching a nature documentary about seals, and seeing a seal eat a penguin, she said "they eat their own young?".

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-02-13 11:47am

RadiO wrote:The kid in my Personal and Social Studies class who sat attentively though the whole of David Lynch's The Elephant Man and was still firmly convinced that John Merrick's dad was an elephant.

ROFLMAO

Priceless.

RadiO · Post by **RadiO** » 2003-02-13 04:40pm

Rob Wilson wrote:
RadiO wrote:The kid in my Personal and Social Studies class who sat attentively though the whole of David Lynch's The Elephant Man and was still firmly convinced that John Merrick's dad was an elephant.
ROFLMAO

Priceless.

What made it even more surreal was that the guy in question was a star Biology student. I mean, what... the.... fuck?

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-02-13 05:13pm

I have some more stuff I heard around school:

After students in one of the Cultures classes were told that the Indians used buffalo dung as fuel, one asked "Did they have cars?"

Then, although I havent' actually heard them, there are dumb things tourists have said.

"Did the people build this, or did the Indians?"
"Why did the Indians build the ruins so close to the road?"
"When do the deer turn into Elk?"

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-02-13 05:56pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I have some more stuff I heard around school:

After students in one of the Cultures classes were told that the Indians used buffalo dung as fuel, one asked "Did they have cars?"

Then, although I havent' actually heard them, there are dumb things tourists have said.

"Did the people build this, or did the Indians?"
"Why did the Indians build the ruins so close to the road?"
"When do the deer turn into Elk?"

I was at Athabasca Falls one summer and an American tourist points to the water basin, at the head of the Athabasca River, it drains from (the water is a very intense shade of aquamarine) and says to his wife "I wonder if they get that colour by painting the bottom in winter, ready for the tourists?"

Necro99 · Post by **Necro99** » 2003-02-13 08:53pm

From a Lifestyles condom: If used correctly, Latex condoms will help reduce the risk of pregnacy, AIDS and other STDs.

I knew pregnacy was an STD! I KNEW IT!!!!

XPViking · Post by **XPViking** » 2003-02-13 09:36pm

Read this first and then you will understand the stupidity asked by one tourist.

1. When did the Frank Slide take place?
On April 29, 1903 at 4:10 AM, 30 million cubic meters (90 million tons, 82 million tonnes) of limestone fell from Turtle Mountain in just 90 seconds.

2. What caused the Frank Slide?
Secondary causes were coal mining inside the mountain and weathering.

"Now boy. Don't give me no fancy explanation here. I wanna know the name of that there pilot who crashed into the moutain." - tourist

----

Here are some stupid remarks a buddy and I were saying just to string along some naive dispatcher:

Me: Glen, when do we have to switch air in the tires?
Glen: Oh, pretty soon.
Ann: What are you guys talking about?
Glen: <looks at her incredulously> Don't you know? We have to change all the air in the tires. Can't have Winter air in them. It's summer time now.
Me: That's right. Gotta make that switch soon or the cars won't run.
Glen: Yah. I think the delivery truck will be coming next week.
Me: Expensive, but well worth it. Ann, you'd better change the air in your car too. Make sure you get summer air.
Ann: Really?

We had her going for about a week. Oh well. When Ann found out, she was only a little upset and then laughed.

XPViking

CmdrSweevo · Post by **CmdrSweevo** » 2003-02-14 01:51pm

One of my favorites is one of my mates thinking that being red-green colour blind meant that I couldn't see the green writing on a whiteboard

Another classic... from a YaPP board (the ones with a map of the world where you can add a pin to show your location): "i'm in new zealand , not japan. daubs pointed out i was in the wrong hemisphere. oh well, much nicer here."

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-02-14 03:27pm

Necro99 wrote:From a Lifestyles condom: If used correctly, Latex condoms will help reduce the risk of pregnacy, AIDS and other STDs.

I knew pregnacy was an STD! I KNEW IT!!!!

THAT simply takes the prize!