Caring for the Caregiver

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Broomstick
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Caring for the Caregiver

Post by Broomstick »

This article in the New York Times (to be quoted below) started me thinking about my own experiences as a caregiver to loved ones. I know we have several people here in the caregiver role (I'm especially looking at you, Lady Tevar) but also a lot of other people who have not experienced that part of life. As for myself - I grew up watching my mother's health deteriorate, saw my father take on this role, assumed greater portions of it as I matured, helped my mother-in-law when her husband was in hospice, cared for my own parents when both had near-fatal pneumonia a few years back, have cared off and on for my disabled husband as needed, and last year was a main caregiver when my mother was in home hospice. I'm a little familiar with the role, both the good parts and the bad parts.

So... I'm starting this as a springboard to discussion:

1) What help should society give such people?
2) What help should you, as a concerned friend/acquaintance/whatever do to help such people?
3) Anything else that comes up
The man was nearing 90, losing his sight and showing signs of early dementia. After examining his abdomen, I fumbled trying to help him get his shirt and pants back on. After an awkward few seconds, the patient’s middle-aged son sprang forward from his seat near the door and began working through the buttons, zipper and belt with a practiced deftness.

“Daddy,” he murmured softly as his fingers nimbly pushed each pearly button through its hole, “you can usually do this yourself, can’t you?” He continued cajoling his father, as he cinched the old man’s belt and patted the haphazard pleating that appeared around his waistline. “You can even feed yourself if I help get your food on the spoon, can’t you?”

My patient nodded absentmindedly, smiling at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling and tapping his fingers against his drooping mouth.

I felt as if I had just witnessed a scene that played itself over and over again every morning.

Later outside the exam room, the son pulled me aside. I noticed the dark circles around his eyes. “You’re tired, aren’t you?” I asked him.

The man’s dark eyes began to fill with tears. I immediately, reflexively almost, started apologizing for not being able to do more for his father. But he stopped me.

“No, no,” he said, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand. “It’s not that. It’s not that at all.” He paused and looked toward his father, still lying on the table in the room and smiling at the lights. “It’s just that no doctor has ever asked me if I was tired.”

In truth, I probably would have never done so either except that a few years ago, I too had spent time caring for a frail loved one.

For all our assertions about the importance of caring in what we do, doctors as a profession have been slow to recognize family members and loved ones who care for patients at home. These “family caregivers” do work that is complex, physically challenging and critical to a patient’s overall well-being, like dressing wounds, dispensing medication, and feeding, bathing and dressing those who can no longer do so themselves.

Many of these caregiving tasks were once the purview of doctors and nurses, a central component of the “caring professions.” But over the past century, as these duties increasingly fell to individuals with little or no training, doctors and even some nurses began to confer less importance, and status, to the work of caregiving.

It comes as no surprise, then, that physicians now rarely, if ever, learn about what a family caregiver or health care aide must do unless they are faced with caring for their own loved ones. We doctors don’t know or aren’t always fully aware of what it takes to care for a patient after we leave the room.

In other words, for the 37 million people attending to the health care needs of a relative, partner, friend or neighbor, our best care goes only so far.

“If you look at the amount of time devoted to actual caregiving, the physician contributes a very modest amount,” said Dr. Arthur Kleinman, a professor of medical anthropology and psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and now a family caregiver himself.

“We’ve had outstanding diagnoses and very careful attention to defining the problem,” Dr. Kleinman said, referring to his own experience. “But once the problem is defined and the limited pharmacological interventions prescribed, there has been neither interest nor knowledge about the rest of the aftercare, even in the most simple parts like finding a home health aide or getting a needs assessment by a social worker.”

But our profession’s indifference may hopefully soon be a thing of the past.

This month, the American College of Physicians, the country’s leading professional organization of internal medicine physicians, issued its first position paper on working with caregivers. Endorsed by almost a dozen other professional medical organizations, the paper, published in The Journal of General Internal Medicine, highlights the challenges that can arise from the complex interaction among patient, doctor and caregiver and offers guidelines for providing the best care.

Using a framework of broad principles, like the need to respect and maintain a primary focus on the patient’s rights, dignity and values, the paper explores specific issues that are likely to arise in a given patient-doctor-caregiver relationship. How, for example, should physicians approach long-distance family caregivers? What should they consider when working with the caregiver of a terminal patient? How can they best support the caregiver who is convinced that he or she can never do “enough”?

“Normally everyone is always focused on the patient, patient autonomy and the patient’s wishes in terms of the ethical standpoint,” said Dr. Virginia L. Hood, chairwoman of the Ethics, Professionalism and Human Rights Committee of the American College of Physicians and one of the paper’s authors. “But family caregivers are an important part of the health care team, too. We need to value these caregivers better, think about their needs and consider how they are central to the patient’s care, not just someone who happens to be pushing the wheelchair.”

Of particular importance is understanding how the work of caregiving can also give rise to a new set of medical issues: those of the caregiver.

Caregiving duties place tremendous stresses on an individual, and not all of those stressors are simply physical and emotional. “Some of these 37-going-on-40 million family caregivers have had to give up their own jobs in order to care for the patients,” Dr. Hood said. “That means they aren’t going to be able to put aside money for their retirement. Who is going to take care of them and their medical problems in the future?”

Caring for more people can be difficult for physicians who are already stretched and not reimbursed for additional time spent with patients. “This tension regarding time and reimbursement has to be resolved,” Dr. Hood said. But, she added, “if the physician needs to spend more time with patients and their caregivers in order to make things better for the patients, then it has to be done; it’s all about the patient.”

And perhaps, it is also about how we define care, whether that care is provided by family members and loved ones, or by doctors and other clinicians.

“There is a moral task of caregiving, and that involves just being there, being with that person and being committed,” said Dr. Kleinman, of Harvard Medical School. “When there is nothing that can be done, we have to be able to say, ’Look, I’m with you in this experience. Right through to the end of it.’ ”
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Johonebesus
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Re: Caring for the Caregiver

Post by Johonebesus »

Some sort of welfare\social security benefit would be nice. If my grandmother didn't have her teacher's pension and an inherited government pension from her late husband, I would have to have a paying job, and she would be in a nursing home (or likely dead by now).
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Re: Caring for the Caregiver

Post by Simon_Jester »

I agree, that would be a good idea. If we want people to (be able to afford to) spend a large fraction of their life for years at a time caring for infirm or disabled relatives, it only makes sense to subsidize that.

Because I don't really know much about this: when you're in that kind of caregiver role, does there come a point at which you can claim the person as a dependent?
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Broomstick
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Re: Caring for the Caregiver

Post by Broomstick »

Simon_Jester wrote:I agree, that would be a good idea. If we want people to (be able to afford to) spend a large fraction of their life for years at a time caring for infirm or disabled relatives, it only makes sense to subsidize that.
I could go with that - but at present the insurance industry is pushing for everyone to buy long term health insurance so they can be warehoused and not cause an inconvenience. Alright, that was a bit biased, I admit, but clearly I'm the sort who prefers to take care of my own - IF that is actually possible to do.
Because I don't really know much about this: when you're in that kind of caregiver role, does there come a point at which you can claim the person as a dependent?
Well, yes, I've claimed my Other Half as my dependent for several years now. At what point you do that depends in part on the topic at hand. There is dependent for tax purposes, and then there's dependent to the point of having power of attorney/health care authority over a person (the latter I do not have over my Other Half, as he is mentally competent).
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Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy

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Re: Caring for the Caregiver

Post by Mr Flibble »

Johonebesus wrote:Some sort of welfare\social security benefit would be nice. If my grandmother didn't have her teacher's pension and an inherited government pension from her late husband, I would have to have a paying job, and she would be in a nursing home (or likely dead by now).
In Australia we do just that. We have a type of pension called a "Carer's Pension" which is given to those who are providing care for someone who requires such assistance. The person who requires the care would also likely be receiving the disability pension. Both will be eligible for the low income healthcare card which allows them to get cheaper medical treatment and pharmaceuticals.

The allowance is enough to live on in Australia, as long as you are prepared to live carefully (though it is probably harder in Sydney, as cost of living is so much more expensive there). I have a friend who has cerebral palsy and he is on the disability pension, and his mother on the carers pension. The two of them are able to live a comparable lifestyle to my own on that income, and my friend has even manage to build up some amount of savings over the years.

From the examples I have seen here the system seems to work quite well. The main area needing improvements would be greater access to nursing assistance. There will be a sustainability issue in Australia with the aged pension, but the costs of the carer's pension are somewhat offset by the fact that the government saves from the fact that the alternative would be government provided care in nursing homes, which are already stretched beyond capacity in Australia.
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Re: Caring for the Caregiver

Post by PainRack »

Broomstick wrote: So... I'm starting this as a springboard to discussion:

1) What help should society give such people?
I like to see something like Macmillian nurses in the UK and etc extended over here. The closest equivalent we have here have said resources assigned for terminal diseases and stuff, although I'm not that well acquainted with gerontology and dementia.

There's also respite care and day care. In fact, I say these bits are crucial. Knowing that help is available and that someone else is caring for him........
2) What help should you, as a concerned friend/acquaintance/whatever do to help such people?
To be honest, I think what people want are understanding bosses and flexible work schedules............. There's always transportation though.
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Re: Caring for the Caregiver

Post by PainRack »

Just wondering.....

What is the biggest concern on your mind when caring for someone else? Transportation and appointment difficulties?
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Re: Caring for the Caregiver

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Number one concern = How am I going to pay for all this AND keep us housed/fed/clothed/etc? (Remember - I live in the US where even having insurance does not guarantee care or prevent bankruptcy)

Transportation and appointments aren't that big a deal - I do, after all, have working vehicles and can still buy gas. Even when I had a regular job I could usually schedule needed time off for that sort of thing. Now that I don't have a regular job scheduling is no problem at all.
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. Leonard Nimoy.

Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy

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Re: Caring for the Caregiver

Post by CaptJodan »

PainRack wrote:Just wondering.....

What is the biggest concern on your mind when caring for someone else? Transportation and appointment difficulties?
Not to disagree with Broomstick as her point is quite valid, but it can also be "am I doing enough?". Guilt is a frequent visitor at my house where I help my parents take care of my 90 year old grandmother who is nearing, but not yet at 3rd stage Alzheimer's. Even with three family members taking turns, you've got a huge amount of stress, and you're often wonder if you're doing enough. You get frustrated, angry, spiteful, and just exhausted at times, then feel guilty afterwards for having those feelings. You wonder when to discontinue medicine, when to restrict their movements even when they don't think they need restricting, etc.

Hospice and the like can help take some of that guilt away, and we've just started getting some of their services. But what we REALLY need is an affordable temp care system that will allow you to go on vacation for a bit of time, just to get away and feel human again, which goes back to Broomstick's affordablity issues.
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Re: Caring for the Caregiver

Post by Broomstick »

Lack of respite is number 2 on my list. You get all sorts of praise for sacrificing yourself - your time, your energy, your career, your money, your interests - yet the moment you ask for even a day off you're condemned as "selfish". Or such has been too often my experience. Then, when you finally do collapse from exhaustion or illness you're scolded for not taking care of yourself.

Which is why I am always telling caregivers to "Take care of yourself - because if you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of anyone else." But really, in the US, it is expected that someone in the family will sacrifice for the ill/disabled family member (typically mother or wife) yet virtually nothing is done to support that - careers are left in shambles, there is no provision for retirement, respite care is unaffordable for many and not covered by insurance in any case....

Lady Tevar and I have both touched on these matters in our threads about dealing with our spouses' illnesses.

But I long ago stopped wondering "Can I do anything more? Am I doing enough?" - decades of being first a tertiary then finally a primary caregiver convinced me to simply do what I can and stop worrying about "more". For someone who is disabled or dying you can't fix the root problem so you can NEVER do "enough".

I am at least fortunate that for my mother I had the support of the rest of my family. I fear when my Other Half reaches that point I will be alone though honestly I don't know - that will probably be many years in the future and all manner of things could happen between now and then.
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. Leonard Nimoy.

Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy

Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice
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Re: Caring for the Caregiver

Post by weemadando »

As Flibble has previously mentioned, Australia has social security for care givers (which was up until about 4 months ago my speciality at work), in the form of two different (but not mutually exclusive) kinds of payments.

The first is Carer Allowance, which is a non-income support type allowance of about $105 a fortnight at the moment. It's not means tested so people who have a job or other income/assets can qualify as long as the residence, care and medical requirements are met - as it's only an allowance, the care requirements aren't as steep, for under-16s it's 14 hours additional care and attention per fortnight (above the normal for a child of that age) for an adult it's 20 hours of care. For people caring for a care receiver under 16 years they also receive a Health Care Card which gives many things, including access to the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme. People can get Carer Allowance for an unlimited number of dependant children, but only up to 2 adults.

The second is Carer Payment, which is an income support payment, which can be up to $615.80 for a single or $464.20 for a member of a couple. These are means tested, so they can be reduced based on income and assets of the person or the couple. Again eligibility is also based on residence, care and medical requirements - in this case full time care is required. They can also have access to rent assistance of up to $111.80 (for a single paying at least $248.47 per fortnight rent). They also get the Pension Concession Card, which is like a Health Care Card in that it gives many medical related benefits, but also entitles them to gain access (where providers offer it) to Pensioner Concessions - which can be everything from license fees and council rates, to public transport and restaurants. Being that it's an income support payment, people can only get Carer Payment for one Caree. Someone who gets Carer Payment will usually also qualify for Carer Allowance and so will receive that too.

Respite is managed through multiple state and federal agencies and people receiving these social security benefits can have up to 63 days of respite per year before losing their entitlement, as well as up to 63 days of medical related absence from care (like hospitalisations of the care receiver). Getting a respite place can be tough, but from all my conversations over the years it sounds like you can nearly always get it when you need it.

I think that we take fairly damn good care of the carer's in Australia - especially come budget time. From 2009's budget coverage: "As well, a permanent carer supplement of $600 a year will be introduced for carer payment recipients and an extra $600 a year for carer allowance recipients for each person in their care."
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