Mega Primus needs you - Lets Play X-COM Apocalypse!

[phred]

Please. I expect to be installed as the 'pilot' of whatever aircraft we get next

I also think we should study the chicken things first... And I apologized to Pedro about the rubber chickens before I went out yesterday. Assuming I was the only one supplying them, everything should be fine, for now.

[Darkevilme]

Also, how shall we respond to this threat of superior Alien UFOs? Shall we seek the purchase of the mighty Hawk Air Warrior? More ground vehicles?

I vote we give the poor chaps in team Omega some proper transportation. Though I say both teams are doing a jolly good showing, i've been watching from the TV on my tank's dashboard. Pretty dicey work glad i'm not out there but you're giving these aliens a sound thrashing by all accounts keep it up.

[JonB]

Yes, Omega Team needs a nice ride. ~mindwaves~ Purchase a better ride for Omega than whatever junk Alpha has. ~mindwaves~

[OmegaChief]

Nice work Alpha team, we'll show those Aliens who's boss,

And once we upgrade our gear we can pass teh hand-me-downs to those silly Omega-team wannabe's, now to get back to hiding rubber chickens in he base...

[White Haven]

Pfft. You Omega scrubs get the Valky once we're done with it. Try not to scratch the paint, we might need the spare someday.

[SirNitram]

Android Swordsman! Android Swordsman me!

[Nephtys]

Today's Installment: A Learning Experience

Tuesday, March 14, 2084
Status Update, Col. Nephtys, X-COM Intelligence

This is going to be rough. Part of me says this is par for the course, and our predecessors in the first and second alien wars had it far worse. But another part of me says that this could have been bloody avoided if only--- well. Nevermind.

Omega Squad arrived at the Bosch Institute within an acceptable timeframe. Without the specialized containment equipment installed aboard one of our vehicles however, we would not be able to recover live aliens. This mission is strictly search and destroy. All alien remains were to be destroyed on site to prevent possible contamination of civilians.


The Bosch Institute itself is run by Lifetree Incorporated, the city's leader in education. I'm glad I grew up in the colonies, because psionic leaning creeps the hell out of me. Knowledge transfer itself is a damned scary concept. It's not much different from what the Sectoids use to educate their clone progeny. Still, it's X-COM's job to protect this city, even if parts of it are bloody creepy.

*sigh* I'm going to be switching to combat report mode now. Activating playback.


Teams 2 and 4 entered the building through the main lecture hall. This would be the first test of our new hybrid soldiers and their psionic powers.
Narkis: Hrm. So this is where the rich kids go, huh?
Hawkwings: Huh. How fancy. My college was a dump.
Steel: MY KIND DO NOT REQUIRE INEFFICIENT EDUCATION.


Two 'spitter' aliens were spotted at the top of the auditorium. JonB attempted to scan it's mind, only to get no response! These creatures were apparently immune to mental attack.
JonB: I say, I can't pick up any psi-readings from either of them! Complete blanks!


Of course, they were not immune to rocket attack. Caiuswickersham knelt and placed a guided missile directly into the Spitter, blasting both of the aliens to peices. Omega Squad drew first blood.
Caiuswickersham: The Emperor orders you to die, foul Xeno!
Narkis: (whisper) What the hell is he talking about again?
Coann: (whisper) I don't know. Just go along with it.
Steel: PITIFUL HUMAN RELIGION IS INEFFICIENT. VERBAL INDUCEMENT TO SELF-TERMINATE IS SUPERFLOUS WHILE EMPLOYING EXPLOSIVES AGAINST ALIEN ORGANISMS.


Progressing further into the building, all teams swept the main floor with no signs of alien activity. Team 3 searched the basement, finding no aliens either.
Ford Prefect: Keep it tight people, we don't want any surprised.
Covenant: BASEMENT IS CLEAR. I REQUIRE ALIENS TO RUPTURE. IMPATIENCE QUOTIENT INCREASED 6.2 PERCENT.


Steel apparently finds a cellar full of his ancestors, long obsolete and since donated to the public school system.
Steel: ...DAD?


Where were the damned aliens?


On an upper floor KrauserKrauser finally stumbled across a multiworm. He unloaded his Machine Gun at point blank range, but the creature's armored hide seem to all but shrug it off! Worse yet, it spat out a corrosive blast that blinded and scalded at KrauserKrauser's face. If only we had enough armor for everyone. Krauser fled back down the grav-lift to his squad, calling out for medical aid.
KrauserKrauser: Ah hah! Got a bug up here! Eat led, freak!
...
KrauserKrauser: MY FACE! My beautiful face! Auggh...


Ford Prefect was forunately waiting with Hawkwings to prepare and storm the alien, having thrown a gas grenade up the lift to try and weaken it. KrauserKrauser's scalded face was healed, no longer burning profusely. Coaan was coming from down the hall with his sniper rifle to support the group as they prepared to go up the lift...
Ford Prefect: Hold still soldier. There, we neutralized the acid.
Hawkwings: Hey, do you hear something?


...except the aliens beat them down the lift. A popper jumped down, exploding violently in the crowded group.
KrauserKrauser: AUGH! Not the face again! *splat*


KrauserKrauser was killed instantly, after having just been healed of his wound moments ago. Ford Prefect and Hawkwings succumbed to their wounds only moments later, colapsing in a pile. Goddamnit. Omega Team hadn't encountered more than a few aliens, and one popper caught them at just the right place to produce 3 bodybags. They never had a chance. At the very least, the multiworm on the floor above was also killed.
Ford Prefect: URRK... I Regret... being... exploded. (thud.)
Hawkwings: Tell my daughter... to... not join X-COM... (urk.)


Coaan ran forward into the smoke, standing before the blasted bodies of the dead soldiers. He displayed his noble respect for fallen comrades by stripping them of their arms and armor and strapping it on as fast as he could.
Coaan: Sorry guys, I need this to live... (yoink)


Perhaps it was some form of strange hybrid prescience, but a Multiworm blasted him with corrosive spit from behind moments later. Thanks to his foresight in wearing a chestplate, helmet and right armguard, the alien venom failed to injure him. Fleeing from the disgusting alien was a terrified schoolteacher right behind. He stood off against the fearsome alien, trying to calm the civilian down as she stood in the line of fire.
Coaan: What the--- Help! Aliens over here. Lady, get down! Don't just stare at me, I'm not a blasted alien! I'm just a secto-human hybri--- oh fuck this. *squeezes trigger*


Coaan's sniper rifle was useless in such close quarters, so he grabbed and pointed Ford Prefect's autocannon at the alien beast. His finger squeezed the trigger, and shot off two explosive shells into the monster. And then the world exploded. The blast from the autocannon washed over the bodies of the fallen agents, cooking off explosive and incindiary shells still worn on their bandoliers! Even worse yet, the unarmored KrauserKrauser had carried two high explosive demolition charges into battle! They all detonated violently, immolating Coaan, the civilian and the alien all in an impromptu viking funeral.
Coaan: AAAUGH! That wasn't as good an idea as I tho--- *splat*


Our forces in the meanwhile made it up to the top floor through other grav-lifts.
Vendetta: PROCESSING. PROCESSING. WTF WAS THAT?


Tasoth and Covenant advanced with their superior speed and flight ability. Spotting two prone anthropods, Tasoth donated them an incindiary grenade.
Tasoth: I got a present for ya!


Tasoth shot one of them dead with a plasma bolt.
Tasoth: *cackles* --and that was left handed!


It seems that the Anthropods are just as capable of panicking as anyone else. With all the other aliens apparently destroyed, it began to wail with this horrible noise. Covenant stopped it by penetrating it's lungs with a thrust from his power sword.
Covenant: INITIATING ATTACK SEQUENCE! COVENANT HYPER BREAKER!
...
Covenant: ATTACK SUCCESSFUL. POWER SWORD IS HIGHLY EFFECTIVE.


Mission Accomplished. Performance: Average? Back in the days of the First War maybe. But that one grav-lift cost us a lot. Worse yet, the job wasn't done yet. There still was an alien UFO to tackle. A wolfhound APC drove the remaining 8 troops back to base.

Fatalities:
Coaan
KrauserKrauser
Hawkwings
Ford Prefect

---

As Alpha and Omega squads returned to base, things weren't looking good for assaulting the downed UFO. Alpha Squad's VX-145 and Edi were both hospitalized from wounds incurred. Omega was down four personel, and Steel had suffered severe structural damage during the sweep and clear, when a fire-damage stairwell gave way under his mighty mechanical legs. I guess the stairwell wasn't efficient enough for him.

To attack the crashed UFO, we would need to form a combined Alpha/Omega operation. Alpha Squad's transport, the Ambassador would be used. However, Covenant, Tasoth, and Vendetta would join the operation, while Narkis, JonB, Dave and Caiuswichersham would be left behind.

LOG TERMINATED

[JonB]

My Great Grand-pappy fought in the First Alien War. My Grand-pappy fought in the Second. My Pop flew in the Frontier War. Now you're telling me I'm useless in my first mission, and then I miss out on my first possible UFO breach?

[Nephtys]

My Great Grand-pappy fought in the First Alien War. My Grand-pappy fought in the Second. My Pop flew in the Frontier War. Now you're telling me I'm useless in my first mission, and then I miss out on my first possible UFO breach?

X-COM Human Resources E-Mail
From: HR@X.com
To: JonB@X.Com
Subj: Assault Mission.

Of course you are a valued X-COM Agent. However, we have not yet determined Psionic vulnerability in any of the dangerous alien forms. Close quarters combat in an alien UFO would not be a suitable location to test yet unproved psionic combat against this new menace.

Thank you, and continue eliminating the alien menace, Soldier.

Your Friendly HR Representative,
Managerial Unit M-5
End of Message

Anonymous E-Mail
From: MiB@X.Com
To: JonB@X.Com
Subj: Grandpappy

I couldn't help but notice you posted something on the X-COM BBS about your granddad during the First War. Just a question: Which side did he fight on? Since I think my granddaddy blew up your granddaddy in his Firestorm.
End of Message

[Mr. Coffee]

Coffe's Log #3

Hokay, so today went kinda bad for the dudes on Omega. Couple of dudes got turned into grease stains, but alien face fuckers got their shit ruined, so I guess it's a decent trade off. On a positive note, this means that there one less group of shitbags around here to soak up budget money. Daddy wants his shiney new power armor...

[Karza]

Tasoth: I got a present for ya!
Tasoth: *cackles* --and that was left handed!

Let me guess: Tasoth wears a red beret, smokes cigars and seems completely incapable of standing at attention?

[Tasoth]

*ahem* Is this thing on?

*tap tap*

Anyways, that was, like, so totally awesome. Did you see that? I so totally blew up that blue bastard with a grenade. I was a pitcher for softball in highschool, so it makes ssooooo much sense that I did that. Little wind up and whoo! Grenade to the midsection.

And that second one? So totally wasn't looking. Was so, like, BANG! You're dead and that was it. I did so awesome that they obviously, like, had no choice but to promote me a rank! See, this is my squaddie badge! I'm totally a squaddie now! So Awesome!

Hmmm... I wonder if Mr.Coffe found the frozen chicken I painted and balanced ontop of his door. I, like, figured it'd be thawed by the time he went back to his quarters so he totally shouldn't be knocked out. Such a boss trick, can't wait to hear what the others think of it.

Tasoth outtie!

[Ford Prefect]

Well, shit, better break out my will and send it to my son New Ford Prefect.

[Darkevilme]

Diary:
Watching what happened to team Omega makes me thankful for my anomalous assignment to X-com armoured, poor Omega bastards get sent in taxis with inadequate armour and ammunition and once there they're expected to face those nasty popper things. Makes me mighty pleased i get to guard the senate in a tank instead of being sent ill equipped and ill prepared on foot into some hell hole infested with exploding alien dogs and face raping alien chickens.

[CaiusWickersham]

Personal log: Inquisitor Caius Wickersham

TodayI have slain xenos in His name. Others in X-COM mock, but they too will learn the power of the God Emperor in our victory. I feel no sorrow for the loss of my comrades. To die for the Emperor is the greatest honor a man can earn.

[JonB]

Anonymous E-Mail
From: MiB@X.Com
To: JonB@X.Com
Subj: Grandpappy

I couldn't help but notice you posted something on the X-COM BBS about your granddad during the First War. Just a question: Which side did he fight on? Since I think my granddaddy blew up your granddaddy in his Firestorm.
End of Message

From: JonB@X.Com
To: MiB@X.Com
Subj: Re: Grandpappy

Oh, so you're the descendent of the guy who thought shooting the Avenger while it was coming back from a mission was funny? If you wish to insult my lineage, just remember that the Hybrids are as much a victim, even possibly moreso than every one else. Scratch that. The nice S.E.L.F. members are less victims of the Ethereal Empire, and more victims of baselines.

[Vendetta]

Team Omega needs less fleshy ones. Fleshy ones burst too easily.

[OmegaChief]

Poor buggers in Omega squad, ah well I bet our superior alien killing skills will rub off on them when they join us in attacking the UFO.

Yep, nothing can possibley go wrong. At All.

[Steel]

+++
STEEL ARCHIVE
+++
XCOM LOG 0001
+++

USELESS FLESHLINGS. THE FLESHBAGS ARE SUFFERING HEAVY CASUALTIES PERFORMING SIMPLE TASKS.

COMMAND MUST RECOGNISE THEIR LIMITATIONS AND ORDER ADDITIONAL ANDROID PERSONNEL TO ENSURE VICTORY.

FLESHLINGS ARE ESPECIALLY VULNERABLE DUE TO THE FACT THEY MUST CARRY VOLATILE SUPPLIES EXTERNALLY INSTEAD OF BEING ABLE TO POWER THEIR WEAPONS SYSTEMS FROM INTERNAL POWER SUPPLIES.

FUTURE OPERATIONS WILL ALSO REQUIRE ADDITIONAL ENHANCEMENTS TO OPTICS TO ALLOW FOR STRUCTURAL ANALYSIS OF COMBAT AREA TO ENSURE IT IS CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING SUPERIOR ANDROID BODY MASS.

LOG END
+++

[Narkis]

*Waves hand* You want to buy Team Omega some good armor and a transport.

Personal Log: Narkis
Entry #1
I'm alive! I'm alive! I can't believe it! I'm alive!
First mission was a complete disaster. First, I was asked to "persuade" some cab drivers to give us a free ride. Easy enough, but it should have clued me in. Then we were sent to battle in these fucking cabs, wearing nothing but our fucking shirts. The alien minds were impossible to read, and equally impossible to manipulate. I spent the battle doing nothing while others died. We lost four good people there, one a fellow hybrid. His sacrifice for the cause will be remembered.
At least I wasn't sent to die in the downed UFO. Something about the aliens' immunity to psionics. Thank the maker for this. (Note to self: Write down name of scientist who made first hybrid. It is embarrassing not to remember your maker's name.)

[Covenant]

(Note to self: Write down name of scientist who made first hybrid. It is embarrassing not to remember your maker's name.)

That would be some foul sectoid technician on one of those cattle-processing UFOs. Given the fact that they were clones and unloved by the Etherals, and cannon fodder for X-Com, it's name is probably only recorded as Tissue Sample #423.

[Narkis]

Well, I was talking more about the first scientist on our side. That the sectoids did it first is a given, but the first guy who thought "Hey, here's a great idea: let's take the enemy's DNA and splice it with our own! That'll give us awesome psychic powers." was just brilliant. Or insane. Or both.

[VX-145]

An excerpt from VX-145's Journal:

I got called back to X-Com again. I knew resetting back to VX-001 was a mistake, but at the time, I was more concerned with the whole "number getting stupidly high" thing. So I turned up at this new high-tech city thing and got given a machine gun and some armour. The first engagement I fought in, I didn't get to do anything, but yesterday a few alien ships (as an aside, these aliens seem different - I haven't noticed a sectoid yet, and their tech seems to be biological rather than mechanical. Stupid way of making stuff, if you ask me.) planted some troops in some random buildings and Team Alpha - that's the squad I'm posted to, there's another one called Team Omega - got tasked with clearing them out. I got surronded by these aliens, and dropped a stun grenade because they seem dumb, and I haven't yet seen one eat a corpse so I decided to play dead. Of course, said stun grenade didn't knock anyone out, and Stark threw a normal grenade right at me. It's a blur after that. After the pain and rage dies down, I was in a hospital and being told I wasn't picked for the UFO crash site. Looks like I get to live a bit longer.

Also of note is that Omega had to commandeer civillian transport to get to thier building, and promptly lost three soldiers. Amateurs. We also lost a pilot, Phred, to UFO fire, the first such casualty.

[MKSheppard]

I remain undeathed! I AM SO AWESOME

[Ford Prefect]

In a way, it's a pity that Omega Team did do so terribly, because being the Taxi Cavalry was ... moderately badass.