3 Words You Don't Want To Hear In A Bathroom.

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2003-02-16 04:50am

(From a stall) WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR???!!!!

In a urinal: " Are you attached?"

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-02-16 05:14am

Urinal cake eroding...eroding...GONE!

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-02-16 06:10am

How about: "Damn, that's tiny."

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-16 07:06am

May I introduce Mr Rogers....
- - -
<Lean over to the guy at the other urinal> I dont know about yours, but I'm sure mine sings ''Wild Thing'' when I'm asleep.
- - -
...and you're still married?
- - -
<Lean over to the guy at the other urinal> Isn't foreskin just a bitch?
- - -
<Lean over to the guy at the other urinal> Life sucks, so does a woman, but thats more enjoyable dont you agree?
- - -
I'd shake your hand, but I got my hands full with this here firehose

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-02-16 09:50am

From a stall: "Uh-Oh, the water's rising."

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2003-02-16 09:58am

One person in the stall was shouting to another guy in the stall as he was taking a crap, "flush, buddy flush!!!!"

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-02-16 09:59am

I was in the toilets of a gay bar once and a guy looked at me then down and said "damn i didn't think it was that cold" I was quite crushed as the guy was hot and i was plucking up the courage to ask him out.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-02-16 12:13pm

"It's turning blue!"

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-16 06:59pm

When someone walks in, swivel around on the toilet while stroking a roll of bog paper and exclaim

"I've been expecting you!"

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-02-16 07:04pm

won't..........come............out.........

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-16 07:06pm

Go into a cubicle, close the door, then exclaim

"WHO THE HELL PUT A GOLDFISH IN THIS BOWL?"

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-02-16 07:09pm

Last Friday on my routine barcrawl around campus, one bog at Furness colleg bar had two plastic bags with the label "Free condoms". Not surprising they were empty.

I should've put another sign up saying "Second hand condoms, one careful owner."

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-16 07:13pm

<Lean across to the guy in the next urinal>
"These cakes arent as tasty as the ones at McDonalds..."

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-02-16 07:25pm

How about "This tastes good!" from a stall?
Or how about "Just have to bend a little further..."?
What about "Since there's no toilet paper, I'll just use my hand"?

And do you know what the 11 grossest words you can hear in a bathroom are?

"(loud farting noises)(plop)(chewing sounds)Tfiff stff tfteff gffd hffe sffm."

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-02-16 08:39pm

UltraViolence83 wrote:"Motherfucking yeast infection." <--In a guy's bathroom.

LOL

Oy vey....

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-02-16 10:07pm

In winter, sneak in a large cantaloupe in the folds of your coat. Go into a stall and might loud, painful grunting, heaving, and straining noises punctuated by gasps of pain. Finally, after like ten minutres of this, throw the cantaloupe into the bowl and go "Yesss, Dear God, Yessss...!"

For the cruelly sick:
Or take in the tape recording of a newborn baby crying...

BrYaN19kc · Post by **BrYaN19kc** » 2003-02-16 10:54pm

Crabs Pole Vault!!!!

Connor MacLeod · Post by **Connor MacLeod** » 2003-02-16 11:28pm

"Hi, I'm Darkstar"

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2003-02-16 11:58pm

What the hell exactly is up with guys trying to strike up a conversation at the urinal?!

I've actually had someone look over, notice a ring I wear, and say "didn't that hurt?" At the time I was just too embarassed to make a smart-assed reply.

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-02-16 11:59pm

"Bend over, peewee"

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-02-17 12:02am

"Oh shit, it's clogged."

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-02-17 12:02am

"Fuck that HURTS, OH GOD YES!!!"

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-02-17 12:03am

"WOW, that wasn't there last time I looked..."

"What the... I thought I took that out..."

"How did THAT get in there?!"

Baron Mordo · Post by **Baron Mordo** » 2003-02-17 12:06am

"Hi Dennis! I can see your wee-wee!"

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-02-17 12:07am

"Paper! My kingdom for a roll of paper!"