Let's Play X-COM: UFO Defense

[Darkdrium]

Dear God! I'm actually going? I don't think I saw any action during the entire war. Here's hoping I'll be able to figure out which end of my gun I'm supposed to aim at the enemy.

[phred]

who's flying that thing?

[The Yosemite Bear]

I am and you will notice that your space sickness bags are made from snakemen skin. Oh and next SDN/X-COM Me and some HABites are forming the arms dealjng branch

[Torben]

What?! No...Really?? I'm on the mission? Shit. Well, I suppose if I'm gonna die I might as well do it on another planet, yeah? Just hope they got rid of those fucking bugs that ate Tom Sizemore. Creepy.

Well, anyway, beer is packed, plasma rifle charged. Let's get drunk and shoot some skinny alien ass!

[MKSheppard]

Yay I'm going to mars, bitches!
[line2]

[Edi]

Ah, I'm in! Excellent! Time to psi-fry the alien masterminds!

[wautd]

Off to practice my mad psionics skills.


Nananananana..... Pew pew pew....

[weemadando]

...Lets end these motherfuckers...

[CaiusWickersham]

The footage is shot, I just need to structure up the witty repartee. I must say, this last mission went better than I hoped. The last time I beat the game, I lost the guy who made the final shot to his own explosion and it was a lot less tricky than the shot I pulled off this time. I gotta say, this was a great experience for me and I hope everyone else enjoyed it. Once I put up the transcript and the final wrap-up, I'm moving on to another LP I've wanted to do for some time. I will post it to this board as well.

[CaiusWickersham]

Okay, what everyone's been waiting for:

MISSION TRANSCRIPT

Hawkwings: Hey, Ando, they let you pilot a tank?
Weemadando: Someone's got to keep an eye on you kids. Set up the perimeter outside the ship and we'll spread out, using the psi-troops to control aliens.
Joviwan: Well, we got our asses to Mars, let's nuke it until it glows.
Edi: Lot of pyramids out here. Hey, in there! Sectoids!
Ando: Control them and use them as scouts. Make them toss their weapons so they can't shoot us.
wautd: Got a couple here. Got one of the leaders hypnotized. He's got a friend in here. Now take the gun and . . . Yeah! Shot it! Toss the gun and come out.

Hawkwings: Let's see what's over here. Ah shit! One of them took out my tank!
Weemadando: Well, looks like I got scout duty then.
Karrick: I think I found our exit. It's too small for the tank to go through though. Two Sectoids inside. I got a soldier controlled. And it can't shoot worth shit.
wautd: I got the other one. Ooh, a commander. Now shoot the other one. There we go. At least one can hit straight.

Karrick: Ow! Watch it, will ya? Getting one killed is a headache when you're not ready for it.
Dave: Uh, guys? I got two more over here in the south end.
Karrick: Can't control either
Joviwan: Trying. Damn it, can't lock on!
JonB: ::grunting:: Nothing here
wautd: There, I got one of them. There's a third one here too. Nailed one, but I can't get it to shoot the other one. Dropping gun and moving it away. One over there still has a gun.
Edi: I got a line on it. Let's see if I can shoot it! Hell yeah! Got it!

Darkdrium: Looks like that Sectoid wautd took over got killed by one of its own. Aaah! They know we're here and smacking back with their psionics.
wautd: Looks like my old commander found a soldier. I'll just borrow the other one . . . and kill my old friend there. Bye now!
Ando: There's a Cyberdisk over here on the south end. Try controlling that one and killing some Sectoids.
Dave: Anyone got it?
Multiple: Nope.
Dave: Shooting it. Whoo! Nailed it half the zone away!

Weemadando: We're not up here for medals, get to the pyramid and head inside.
Joviwan: But the tank won't fit inside.
Weemadando: So make do without me. I'll park in the Avenger and wait for you all. Hold on, there's a second disk. Got it but it's not down.
wautd: Let me try . . . wow, I got control of it. I can move it around and it from us until we exit. Oops! Must have had a self-destruct, it just blew up. Get me some charges and blow a hole for Ando.

Weemadando: Take no prisoners.
Karrick: Same tactics as topside. Hey, I see a Silicoid. We got Mutons & Ethereals this round.
Coalition: Nailed the rock pile. I see an Ethereal. Looks like it's got a blaster launcher.
wautd: M/C'ed it. Don't see any other Ethereals nearby.
Darkdrium: Oh shit, Chryssalids too!
Torben: And a Celatid. Killed it.
Joviwan: Sectopod. Took three rounds, but it's down.
Darkdrium: Shot the Chryssalid
Edi: There's another Silicoid . . . M/C'ed it. Nothing around.
Darkdrium: Ethereals know we're here, they're slamming me with psionics.
wautd: Shit, where are they? And it sounds like a Chryssalid took out my Ethereal.
Weemadando: No, I'm looking over here and there's a Celatid. That must have killed it.
Edi: Hey, my Silicoid killed a Chryssalid for us.
Darkdrium: THEY'RE EVERYWHERE, AAAAAH! ::more shouting::
Weemadando: Someone find those things.
Torben: Found a Celatid. Killed it! Finally got a kill this mission!
Darkdrium: Okay, I'm back guys. Oh shit, Chryssalid!
Edi: I got it, Dark. I'm going to bring it to you. You blast it point-blank.
Darkdrium: All right. I see it. ::plasma blasts:: Got it!
Weemadando: One of those Silicoids is trying to burn my tank. It's not getting anywhere, though.
Dave: I must be getting close, cuz it sounds like they're trying to shoot me through the lifts.
Weemadando: Psi-troops, stay put. We'll need you for M/C. Dave, try to get a line of sight.
Dave: I think I see one up here in the shadows.
Edi: I can get a sense of one. Got it. An Ethereal Commander. There's a few more up here. And there's something big and pulsing screaming "target". I'll try to shoot at least one. There's one that's really jumpy shooting at mine!

Jovi: Got one of the others, killing yours, Edi.
wautd: Got another, killing yours, Jovi. Making it drop the gun. There. Dave's clear now
Dave: Okay, plotting the course into the launcher for that pulsing thing. Okay, set.

Unknown: Wait! Do not destroy me! We are intertwined. We are your ancestors and creators. There is much I can share with you if you spare me.
Weemadando: Blah blah blah, Dave, kill it.
Dave: We came, we saw, we kicked its ass! Firing!


::explosions::
Dave: Stick a fork in them, we are done!
Hawkwings: Hey guys, Central's reading zero alien signals on Earth. The mind control interference in the US is gone. We picked up a burst transmission from the Cydonia site, but they must have mistimed it since it would have been received in the Gulf of Mexico if there was a base there.
Weemadando: Everything's fading here. Let's go home.
MKSheppard: It is now officially permanent Miller Time!
TRANSCRIPT END

[Darkdrium]

Dare I believe my eyes? Did I actually survive?
And I managed to take out a few of the xeno bastards to boot? My my, looks like celebrations are in order. First round's on me my fellow survivors.

[JonB]

I'm sorry to say, but that was slightly anti-climactic for saving the world. Were you getting burned out near the end there, Caius?

[wautd]

I know we were a team and all, but looks like I saved the earth pretty much on my own. Again.

I'm going to Disneyworld!

[MKSheppard]

Now, play TFTD, and pick up on the ending.

[CaiusWickersham]

NHK News Watch 9 Transcript -- 23 February 2010

Taguchi: Good evening. Tonight, on the 10th anniversary of Earth's victory over alien invaders by the Extraterrestrial Combat Unit, commonly known as X-COM, we are privileged to be granted an interview with the former director of X-COM, Amaya Toyotomi. Our correspondent, Araki Miwa, spoke with Director Toyotomi at her home in Tokyo.

Miwa: Ten years ago, the planet Earth was under attack from beings from another world. Sightings of strange craft and alien beings increased dramatically. Heading up the world's defense was Amaya Toyotomi, then a Colonel in the Japanese Air Self Defense Force.

Miwa: Colonel Toyotomi . . .

Toyotomi: (interrupting) It's Mrs. Wickersham now. I'm not a colonel or director any more.

Miwa: Ms. Wickersham, why were you picked to head what was probably the greatest endeavor done in human history, the X-COM unit?

Toyotomi: I was in Japan's prototype unit, the Kiryu Kai. The project wasn't successful, namely due to poor management. While the Kiryu Kai was being folded back up, I received an offer from one of the agents of the UN's Global Crisis Division to head a new globally funded program to handle the alien problem. I was a bit reluctant to take the position, but I was the only one with real experience in handling interception of UFOs.

Miwa: And this agent, how did he know you?

Toyotomi: I think I first saw Caius [Wickersham] at the Kiryu Kai a couple weeks after it started up. He didn't seem like much, only asking a few questions about our operations. I didn't see him again until he offered me X-COM. We talked on and off, but I didn't know what an asset we had in him until the United States signed a pact with the aliens. He had secured many of the records of our American base and kept it from being destroyed immediately.

Miwa: Is that what convinced you to marry him?

Toyotomi: Hardly. We didn't even really have a relationship until after the final debriefings. We had just talked to each other over secured telecom until we met face-to-face again at the UN headquarters after the crew came back from Cydonia. From there, well . . . familiarity became intimacy and we were married a year later. Our first child was a year after that.

Miwa: So, what was it like heading up X-COM?

Toyotomi: At first, it was a constant wonder whether we'd have funding the next month. Looking back, it seemed like we shouldn't have been so worried, but when we didn't know whether that UFO interception meant anything or that missed capture cost us more than just the elerium and other items, we had to really be concerned about what the end of the month would bring. My most tense month was April of '99.

Miwa: When Japan cut funding?

Toyotomi: Yes, namely because of the terror attack in Melbourne. We didn't see it coming and got caught with our pants down as our Skyranger was refueling. It wasn't ready again until the attack ended. Then we found out that the aliens were attacking places beyond our detection range and we needed a third base to provide proper radar cover.

Miwa: How did X-COM get by with such sparse funding? Even the top nations weren't providing much more than a million dollars, yet X-COM reported a massive profit and bankroll in its final days.

Toyotomi: We sold quite a bit of our captured alien technology through back channels. Weapons we had no interest in fielding or in quantities we didn't require went to defense companies for reverse engineering and other study. Corpses were released to hospitals and universities after an initial necroscopy. The rumors of corpses showing up in restaurants are, to the best of my knowledge, unfounded. I think it's just some owners trying to drum up business. Towards the end, we were selling stuff we really didn't need just to make space in the storerooms. Once the Avenger was built we sold off most of our UFO components just so we could shift equipment from the Skyranger to the Avenger before retiring it.

Miwa: What happened to the staff after the Cydonia victory?

Toyotomi: Most went back to their civilian lives and didn't leave contact information. Once the research was de-classified, there was a slew of articles submitted to the major research journals. In fact, one of the agreements we had on our sales was that no article was to be submitted on the technology. We got a lot of our scientists and engineers by promising them exclusive publishing rights.
The last I heard of any of them was a voicemail from a hysterical woman asking why I sent Dr. House back to her and that she had finally been happy for the past year before ending the message with a gunshot.

Miwa: You mean she . . .?

Toyotomi: I don't know and I don't want to dwell on it. If she was told anything about where he was going, she knew it was a temporary position.

Miwa: One member of your staff, the Yosemite Bear, was not present at the final hearings. Would you comment on . . .

Toyotomi: (interrupting): No. Some things are best left unknown when it comes to him.

Miwa: I see. Well, what of the rumors that you spent time in a Thai prison? Several members have resurfaced and are convinced of it because of how you play something called "combat crud".

Toyotomi: Combat crud is a pool game common to many military bases. I learned while I was in the Air Self Defense Force and I learned to be rather intense to keep up with bigger men than I. I was never in a Thai prison nor did I learn combat crud there.

Miwa: There was your chief engineer, Nitram, who claimed he could beat you at it where all others failed . . .

Toyotomi: And he was on so much medication I would be surprised if he knew which way was up. I beat him as soundly as the others. It was nothing personal, really. It started really was a way to punish Hawkwings and Kendall for fragging their own teammates. It became a useful way to keep the others in line.

Miwa: Looking back on it all, would you do it over again?

Toyotomi: I would and in the exact same way. I had some good people under me in X-COM and lost plenty of good people too. We all managed to fend off an alien invasion that would have meant the end of us all if we failed.

Miwa: And what is X-COM doing now?

Toyotomi: I resigned as director after the debriefings. I had enough excitement to last a lifetime and there wasn't much left for me to do. I handed the position to Commander Weemadando. He's overseeing recovery of underwater crash sites as well as other research X-COM is still doing into elerium technology.

Miwa: And what about you?

Toyotomi: I retired from the Air Self Defense Force. There was nothing there for me but a meaningless desk job. Caius and I were getting serious and I figured I'd rather be a wife and mother if there was nothing in the military for me.

Miwa: Do you tell your children stories of your time in X-COM?

Toyotomi: There's nothing to tell, really. I was an administrator first and foremost. The soldiers and pilots have better stories. I just listened to radio chatter and watched viewscreens all day.

Taguchi: That's all from our interview. A day earlier, we received what was claimed to be an audio log from the Director's final days at X-COM. We cannot authenticate it as it was seemingly recovered from deleted data. We make no claim as to its veracity, but only make it public for the purposes of completeness. The Wickersham family has declined comment about this find:

Female: Bear, please come in.
Bear: You wanted me, Director?
Female: Yes. I must congratulate you on such fine performance in getting answers from our prisoners.
Bear: Thank you.
Female: However, I'm afraid I can't allow you to leave this base, ever. I let you have your way with the aliens, but I don't plan on ever letting you live to talk about what you did here.
Bear: Hey, what is that?
::unknown energy discharge, silence and then a sound like a body falling over::
Woman: I didn't sell all of the plasma pistols.

TRANSCRIPT END

[CaiusWickersham]

And . . . that's a wrap for UFO Defense. I'll do TFTD when I've had a chance to recharge a bit. Like I said, I have another LP I want to get started on soon. Look for that in the very near future.

[Edi]

Excellent! When you do do TFTD, I'll want in from the beginning.

[Darkdrium]

I'd like that too.

[weemadando]

Yeah, why not - I'll go in for TFTD.

[Lord Relvenous]

Yeah, sign me up too.

[Dave]

Well, I enjoyed this LP, so I'll jump on the bandwagon again, again as a grunt.

I thought this LP was done quite well, thanks for posting it. (Then again, I have not seen very many.)

[Force Lord]

I want to go on TFTD too. And this time give me a fight!

[OmegaChief]

I too would like to re-sign on for TFTD!

[Torben]

***Personal Log***

We've defeated the alien menace by explosively evacuating their hive mind on Mars. Now, they say they don't need X-COM and are shutting us down. However, the director, with her "creative financial management," was able to squirrel away enough funds to mothball the old bases and equipment. Also, they've offered me a position as "caretaker" for the Aussie base. After seeing what I've seen in this war, I don't think I can ever go back to the farm, so I've accepted. Basically, I'll be put into cryogenic stasis and set to wake up if the base is ever breached or X-COM is ever reactivated. Should be interesting to see what's changed when I wake up. Until then, time to hit the sack

***Log ends***

[JonB]

Sign me up!