Wait til PETA gets a hold of THIS!!

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-02-17 05:10pm

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper gets down on his knees (so that he's on her level), and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy black wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle brown wabby over there?"

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon weally gives a thit.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-02-17 05:14pm

Good one HA HA HA HA HA HA

David · Post by **David** » 2003-02-17 05:22pm

hehehe

Sindai · Post by **Sindai** » 2003-02-17 05:26pm

I used to have a python, but she never got big enough for rabbits.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-02-17 05:31pm

One of my friends in High School had one.

Gang banger's broke in to rob the place one night.

The K-9 unit that responded to the call couldn't stop laughing.....

(Don't worry it doesn't violate the "Sheppard Clause" the criminals were apprehended by the family pet, not by use of firearms)

The Python dropped from the bookcase onto the head of one of the two criminals, while wrapping it's self around the guy's neck it "Hissed" at the other two. Who despite being armed with guns ran and locked themselves into the bathroom, and refused to surrender to the police until they were assured that the snake was gone.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-02-17 05:37pm

The Yosemite Bear wrote:One of my friends in High School had one.

Gang banger's broke in to rob the place one night.

The K-9 unit that responded to the call couldn't stop laughing.....

(Don't worry it doesn't violate the "Sheppard Clause" the criminals were apprehended by the family pet, not by use of firearms)

The Python dropped from the bookcase onto the head of one of the two criminals, while wrapping it's self around the guy's neck it "Hissed" at the other two. Who despite being armed with guns ran and locked themselves into the bathroom, and refused to surrender to the police until they were assured that the snake was gone.

That's just wrong.

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-02-17 06:32pm

The Yosemite Bear wrote:One of my friends in High School had one.

Gang banger's broke in to rob the place one night.

The K-9 unit that responded to the call couldn't stop laughing.....

(Don't worry it doesn't violate the "Sheppard Clause" the criminals were apprehended by the family pet, not by use of firearms)

The Python dropped from the bookcase onto the head of one of the two criminals, while wrapping it's self around the guy's neck it "Hissed" at the other two. Who despite being armed with guns ran and locked themselves into the bathroom, and refused to surrender to the police until they were assured that the snake was gone.

I heard something like this where a family dog let a criminal in through the doggy-door but wouldn't let him out again.

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2003-02-17 07:04pm

Ok, that is too cool, I'd get a snake but it'd probably eat my cats.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-02-17 07:30pm

I'm like her, in a way. However, I'm more humanitarian. I take pets that have been abandoned...

...And then feed them to my pet python!

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-02-17 08:06pm

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-02-17 11:23pm

Actually, wait till Steve Irwin gets a load of this.

Temjin · Post by **Temjin** » 2003-02-17 11:43pm

Hyperion wrote:Ok, that is too cool, I'd get a snake but it'd probably eat my cats.

I don't see that as a problem.

Face the facts, cats are evil. The world would be better off without them.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-02-17 11:43pm

Temjin wrote:
Hyperion wrote:Ok, that is too cool, I'd get a snake but it'd probably eat my cats.
I don't see that as a problem.

Face the facts, cats are evil. The world would be better off without them.

mew. No, the world would be better off without dogs.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-02-17 11:46pm

verilon wrote:
Temjin wrote:Face the facts, cats are evil. The world would be better off without them.

mew. No, the world would be better off without dogs.

Of course. Get rid of one of the only animals on Earth which actually likes us, in favour of one that treats us as indentured servants

Temjin · Post by **Temjin** » 2003-02-17 11:47pm

verilon wrote:
Temjin wrote:
Hyperion wrote:Ok, that is too cool, I'd get a snake but it'd probably eat my cats.
I don't see that as a problem.

Face the facts, cats are evil. The world would be better off without them.

mew. No, the world would be better off without dogs.

When was the last time you saw a cat pull a child out of a burning building?

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-02-17 11:49pm

Or find a human stuck under an avalanche flow?

Nova Andromeda · Post by **Nova Andromeda** » 2003-02-17 11:50pm

Darth Wong wrote:
verilon wrote:
Temjin wrote:Face the facts, cats are evil. The world would be better off without them.

mew. No, the world would be better off without dogs.
Of course. Get rid of one of the only animals on Earth which actually likes us, in favour of one that treats us as indentured servants

--Silly mortal. You just haven't learned you place in the universe yet. You should be happy to serve such wonderous masters!

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2003-02-17 11:52pm

Darth Wong wrote:Of course. Get rid of one of the only animals on Earth which actually likes us, in favour of one that treats us as indentured servants

I guess "mine" is an exception to the rule. He's very strange for a cat. He jumps right up in your lap and goes to sleep. He always goes right up to you and whatnot. He's very affectionate for a cat. I say "mine" because it was wandering around our neighborhood and then my family fed him. He kept on coming back, so we kept feeding him. Then eventually we let him in the house. So now our relationship is that he stays inside for the night to sleep and eat and goes outside to do his thing in the day. So I guess he's ours now. (shrugs)

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-02-17 11:52pm

Temjin wrote:When was the last time you saw a cat pull a child out of a burning building?

Hell, cats are smarter, they've been trained to dial 911 I have heard, and although that may be true or false, I just prefer the PEACE AND QUIET of a dog. So dogs pull kids out of burning buildings. BIG FUCKING DEAL. There are people that are allergic to dogs, and the next best thing is cats (which they may/not be allergic to) so they as well have their benefits. Plus, some people (myself included) just all out PREFER them. And if they're evil, your point?

Wong: Bite me. Besides, I hate the fact that sarcasm is so much harder to portray in typing. Grr. In addition, how would you feel if we were put on this earth as indentured servants (as you put it) to, say, mice (Obvious Hitchhiker's reference, but so what?)?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-02-17 11:56pm

verilon wrote:
Temjin wrote:When was the last time you saw a cat pull a child out of a burning building?
Hell, cats are smarter, they've been trained to dial 911 I have heard,

Goodie. Go tell your local police department to get rid of their dogs and get cats. Oh wait a minute ... cats are virtually untrainable! Too bad that idea won't work. Please let me know the next time you see a blind person walking down the street behind a seeing-eye cat.

and although that may be true or false, I just prefer the PEACE AND QUIET of a dog. So dogs pull kids out of burning buildings. BIG FUCKING DEAL. There are people that are allergic to dogs, and the next best thing is cats (which they may/not be allergic to) so they as well have their benefits. Plus, some people (myself included) just all out PREFER them. And if they're evil, your point?

Actually, cats are far more allergenic than dogs, because they shed finer hair. There are many breeds of dog (such as mine) which shed almost no hair except for a bout during spring when they're getting rid of their winter coat, and even then, it comes off in clumps, not as a fine layer of tiny hairs everywhere. I've been tested to be allergic to both cats and dogs. I can't sleep in a house where a cat lives because my sinuses virtually close up, but I live with a house dog and have no problems.

Wong: Bite me.

No thanks.

Besides, I hate the fact that sarcasm is so much harder to portray in typing. Grr. In addition, how would you feel if we were put on this earth as indentured servants (as you put it) to, say, mice (Obvious Hitchhiker's reference, but so what?)?

Is there a point in that paragraph?

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-02-18 12:00am

Darth Wong wrote:Actually, cats are far more allergenic than dogs, because they shed finer hair.

I don't see where this detracts from the fact that some people aren't allergic to cats, but are to dogs. I am allergic to puppy fluff, but not to cats.

There are many breeds of dog (such as mine) which shed almost no hair except for a bout during spring when they're getting rid of their winter coat, and even then, it comes off in clumps, not as a fine layer of tiny hairs everywhere.

There aren't cats that don't shed much?

I've been tested to be allergic to both cats and dogs. I can't sleep in a house where a cat lives because my sinuses virtually close up, but I live with a house dog and have no problems.

I have a hard time sleeping with puppies.

Wong: Bite me.
No thanks.

It was a joke.

Besides, I hate the fact that sarcasm is so much harder to portray in typing. Grr. In addition, how would you feel if we were put on this earth as indentured servants (as you put it) to, say, mice (Obvious Hitchhiker's reference, but so what?)?
Is there a point in that paragraph?

Let's break it up, shall we? :

"Besides, I hate the fact that sarcasm is so much harder to portray in typing. Grr."

I was being sarcastic, and it can get difficult to show that in typing.

In addition, how would you feel if we were put on this earth as indentured servants (as you put it) to, say, mice (Obvious Hitchhiker's reference, but so what?)?

The underlined portion being the important part. You said dogs are basically treated as indentured servants. And you would feel how if you knew that was how you were treated by something else (in my example, mice)?

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-02-18 12:00am

IRG CommandoJoe wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Of course. Get rid of one of the only animals on Earth which actually likes us, in favour of one that treats us as indentured servants
I guess "mine" is an exception to the rule. He's very strange for a cat. He jumps right up in your lap and goes to sleep. He always goes right up to you and whatnot. He's very affectionate for a cat. I say "mine" because it was wandering around our neighborhood and then my family fed him. He kept on coming back, so we kept feeding him. Then eventually we let him in the house. So now our relationship is that he stays inside for the night to sleep and eat and goes outside to do his thing in the day. So I guess he's ours now. (shrugs)

This is what I meant as for cats being evil and whatnot.

Ren · Post by **Ren** » 2003-02-18 12:03am

Since this seems to have degenerated into cats vs. dogs I will just point out that cats can and do provide valuble rodent control.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-02-18 12:03am

verilon wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Actually, cats are far more allergenic than dogs, because they shed finer hair.
I don't see where this detracts from the fact that some people aren't allergic to cats, but are to dogs. I am allergic to puppy fluff, but not to cats.

So? Some people are allergic to peanuts. Doesn't make peanuts bad. Given equal allergies to both, as is the case for me, a cat is more allergenic than a dog.

The underlined portion being the important part. You said dogs are basically treated as indentured servants.

Wrong. I said that cats treat us like indentured servants. Please try to read my posts before commenting on them.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-02-18 12:05am

Ren wrote:Since this seems to have degenerated into cats vs. dogs I will just point out that cats can and do provide valuble rodent control.

Sure they do. I have simply observed on many occasions that a lot of cat-lovers seem to expend a lot of effort hating dogs for some reason. And the reasons they give (cats are smarter even though you can't train them as well, cats are better for allergies even though they're more allergenic) are simply absurd.