Who! Is! Deadliest?! (Deadliest Warrior Back for Blood)

[Vympel]

Everyone's favorite lowest common denominator show has returned with new matchups from Season 1 airing just before Season 2 (first episode: SWAT vs GSG9) starts.

This was a double show, with Samurai vs Spartan, and IRA vs Spetsnaz.
Spoiler

Spartan killled the shit out of the Samurai, and the Spetsnaz raped the IRA by a huge margin

[Kamakazie Sith]

The action scenes for these scenarios need to be better choreographed. Some of the choregraphing has the fighters doing some of the most stupid things during the action.

[Knife]

I was happy to see Japan wankers smacked around, though Spartan wankers are just as bad. As far as the gun v gun fights, of course the well trained spec ops dudes were going to win, though the H&K v Dragunov was dumb. More about the dope behind the weapon than the weapon and even then they were shooting sniper rifles at 85 meters, hardly a good test.

[Kamakazie Sith]

I was happy to see Japan wankers smacked around, though Spartan wankers are just as bad. As far as the gun v gun fights, of course the well trained spec ops dudes were going to win, though the H&K v Dragunov was dumb. More about the dope behind the weapon than the weapon and even then they were shooting sniper rifles at 85 meters, hardly a good test.

85 meters for a scoped rifle? That is a horrible test. I'd say 300 meters is more like it, or whatever the standard range is for sniper school...

Yeah, it's nice to see the wankers smacked around and it is also interesting to see the abilities of each contestant. I still hate the choreographing...horrible.

[Knife]

I'm pretty sure they said 85 meters in the show. I'd like to see a 500 meter test, if it's a KD course, for a sniper rifle test. At that range, variations in the weapons will stand out more with the ordinate of the round, beaten zone, etc...

[Kamakazie Sith]

I'm pretty sure they said 85 meters in the show. I'd like to see a 500 meter test, if it's a KD course, for a sniper rifle test. At that range, variations in the weapons will stand out more with the ordinate of the round, beaten zone, etc...

The rifle qualification for my department is a course that starts at 100 yards and is for qualifying on both open sights and optics. We even had a 300 meter iron sight competition (some of us got 10 out of 10 hits). So, yeah 85 meters is hardly a test for a rifle and more so a test for the person...and that person would have to really suck.

[Knife]

USMC rifle known distance course was the 200, 300, and 500 meter marks. That's a M16. 85 meters for a 'sniper rifle' is ridiculous. If you need a scope at 85 meters it is because you put one on your handgun.

[Vympel]

If it was anything like Spetsnaz vs Green Berets, I think they were expecting a hit in a very small area on the target - i.e. between the eyes or something similar.

(note I haven't seen the episodes yet)

[Stofsk]

Have they done Aussie SAS trooper vs like, some yokel with a shotgun?

Not only should there be versus matches, but they should be ludicrously one-sided.

[Knife]

Nah, they had full torso dummies with heads (no arms or legs) on...robots? driving short routes. Two in windows and one between the two. The Russians got two hits center mass on all three, the Irish dude with the H&K got two hits center mass on two and missed the rover.

[Raxmei]

That shouldn't be a difficult target even with iron sights, given a proficient user obviously. I'm a lousy shot but I still have little trouble hitting 100 meter targets with a carbine and its backup iron sights. What were the time constraints like and how fast were the targets moving? Were the shooters required to do this while doing backflips through flaming hoops (that would be impressive)?

Last season they missed the opportunity to do pirate vs ninja. Most obvious confrontation ever and they passed it up.

[PeZook]

Did they seriously needed to evaluate a question of who is more capable: the specially selected guy given years of extensive training by a superpower or a member of a clandestine terrorist organization?

Seriously? And they made an entire episode about it?

[Stofsk]

Seriously?

That's your problem - you're taking this show too seriously.

[PeZook]

Well, I don't anymore. I watched a short clip on youtube, and man...the narrator's voice itself destroys any credibility

You don't even need to watch the tests themselves.

[Zixinus]

I looked into the show, but couldn't stand it: it was such an obviously big macho-dripping testosterone thing that it became obvious that the whole thing wasn't done to do any sort of honest evaluation or even debate.

[Knife]

I don't know, while the tests are hardly perfect, they are kind of neat when you have ancient Japanese armor strapped to a dummy and someone tries their damnedest to put a bronze spear through it.

[Knife]

What were the time constraints like and how fast were the targets moving?

They started the clock on the first shot and ended the clock when the shooter yelled clear at shooting all targets. Russian got 29 seconds and change, Irish dude got 36 seconds and change. Targets seemed to be moving at casual walking speed.

Last season they missed the opportunity to do pirate vs ninja. Most obvious confrontation ever and they passed it up.

See, I'd love a Samurai V Knight but...

[Twigler]

Well, I don't anymore. I watched a short clip on youtube, and man...the narrator's voice itself destroys any credibility

You don't even need to watch the tests themselves.

Isn't that the guy who narrates "300"? No guessing necessary then to figure out who their target audience was.

I think I watched Spartan vs ninja once and there were too many teeth-clenchers in the full episode to enjoy it. The little battle scene at the end is the only bit that was fun, so I've ever only watched those.

[PeZook]

I saw a clip from Green Beret vs. Spetsnaz and it was horrible. Testosterone-fuelled ragging aside, the weapon comparisons were not even remotely sane, and the final battle...please.

I learned several valuable things from it, though. Did you know Russians don't use grenades? They also fire exclusively from the hip

[salm]

I just watched part of that Spartan vs Samurai episode and the most annoying thing were how the two dumbasses (the spartan even more) were boasting how their side was the best. They sounded like little kids fighting about whose ninja turtle is the cooler.

[Superman]

I like this show. And holy Jebus people were pissed off on Youtube about that episode where the pirate beat the knight. What's with all the knight wankers anyway? The pirate had a damn gun! Pfff... knights.

[CDiehl]

I liked the Spartan vs. Samurai contest. It was amusing to watch two people who couldn't do shit to each other's armor go at it.

The regular episode (SWAT vs. GSG-9) was boring as hell. It was just "Here's a gun. Here's a slightly different gun. They both put bullets in people." for an hour. I described it to my girlfriend as "Coke vs. Pepsi".

Isn't that the guy who narrates "300"? No guessing necessary then to figure out who their target audience was.

I'm pretty sure it's not the same person, but the announcer is certainly doing his damnedest to sound like him.

So, yeah 85 meters is hardly a test for a rifle and more so a test for the person...and that person would have to really suck.

True, but I would defend the short distance as being closer to the ones at which police snipers shoot. They usually set up across the street from the target rather than a mile away like a military sniper.

[Darth Wong]

I like this show. And holy Jebus people were pissed off on Youtube about that episode where the pirate beat the knight. What's with all the knight wankers anyway? The pirate had a damn gun! Pfff... knights.

I caught a glimpse of that episode but never bothered watching the whole thing. However, as long as we're going to mention this, it's worth pointing out that those old pirate guns were godawful shitty weapons, and should not in any way be thought of as comparable to modern firearms. Those guns were ridiculously inaccurate and stood a pretty good chance of misfiring even under ideal conditions. If it was raining, you could probably charge the guy and be fairly confident that you would reach him without a bullet coming anywhere near you, or even leaving his barrel.

I don't know if they bothered pointing that out during the episode. My boys were watching it, and I came in at the end when they showed the mock battle. It opened with the pirate taking a full-on hit to the face with a spiked ball and chain, and not dying or even suffering any apparent injury at all. I just shook my head and walked away; that's too much concentrated stupidity to handle.

[Alyrium Denryle]

I like this show. And holy Jebus people were pissed off on Youtube about that episode where the pirate beat the knight. What's with all the knight wankers anyway? The pirate had a damn gun! Pfff... knights.

To be fair, he managed to do it with a blunderbuss, not the pistol, which could not penetrate the plate IIRC.

I want to see a 15th century german knight vs a samurai. Just watch the samurai get raped when his sword dulls on mild steel or shatters on contact with a Langschwert.

[Superman]

I caught a glimpse of that episode but never bothered watching the whole thing. However, as long as we're going to mention this, it's worth pointing out that those old pirate guns were godawful shitty weapons, and should not in any way be thought of as comparable to modern firearms. Those guns were ridiculously inaccurate and stood a pretty good chance of misfiring even under ideal conditions. If it was raining, you could probably charge the guy and be fairly confident that you would reach him without a bullet coming anywhere near you, or even leaving his barrel.

Oh, that's absolutely true. Even the act of firing a primitive firearm like a blunderbuss was often dangerous to the user; the powder sometimes had a tendency to ignite and explode when it wasn't supposed to. This fight's result was supposedly determined by the fact that the knight would have to fight at a close range. If the knight was close enough to try and take out the pirate with his sword, then he was also close enough to be killed by a single shot from the pirate's firearm. The short distance would also improve the pirate's accuracy and help to ensure a lethal shot, like to the knight's unprotected face.

I didn't see the first part though. Did they compare swords? I'm guessing the pirate had a cutlass and the knight had some kind of broad sword? Yeah, I'm pretty sure the knight would take the pirate in a sword fight.