A Certain Toolman On Board...

[Invader Taz]

...The Second Death Star!

DEATH STAR HANGAR. In a poof of smoke a man wearing a blue shirt and a tool belt appears, he heads to the nearest panel, takes it off and starts tinkering with it and what is behind it. A couple of Stormtroopers march over when they see him messing around. As they walk up behind him the panel above him is blown off with enough force to knock them out of the hangar and into orbit around the DS2. The man pushs himself out and looks around, sees a TIE Fighter and runs over and starts tinkering with it as another pair of Stormtroopers come to see what happened...

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Q has put Tim 'The Toolman Taylor' on the station. ROB has decided the Second Death Star needs MORE POWER!

Can he be stopped? If not, what happens to the Death Star?

[Losonti Tokash]

Who the hell are you talking about?

[Enigma]

Tim Allen from "Home Improvement".

[adam_grif]

Any problem can be overcome with the timely application of more power.

[Havok]

Holy fucking shit. Did I just witness Peak Crossover?

[The Yosemite Bear]

It could be worse, we could have Hetrodynes loose on the Deathstar...

[Norade]

Imagine Tim with an awakened spark...

[Sarevok]

I thought Home Improvement was a sitcom. What expderience does Tim have with technology that can build planet destroyers ?

[Simon_Jester]

Tim Taylor is in paradise; the Death Star is MORE POWER!

Now, putting a Spark on the Death Star would have a lot of interesting ramifications, but that's different.

And I predict this will go to Testing in short order.

[Themightytom]

I thought Home Improvement was a sitcom. What expderience does Tim have with technology that can build planet destroyers ?

I think we are charting new ground in crossovers. In the sitcom Tim appears to ahve an uncanny ability to fuck EVERYTHING up regardless of his understanding of it. My prediction is massive casualties incurred of not the compelte destruction of the Deth Star and probably Endor. he's the best weapon the rebels could have asked for.

Unless the Empire pulls out the Fonze, who fixes everything by stomping his foot, double thumbs up and an "A!"

[Stofsk]

I thought Home Improvement was a sitcom. What expderience does Tim have with technology that can build planet destroyers ?

You can't possibly be serious.

[Sarevok]

Home Improvement was something else ?

[Oni Koneko Damien]

I thought Home Improvement was a sitcom. What expderience does Tim have with technology that can build planet destroyers ?

I think we are charting new ground in crossovers. In the sitcom Tim appears to ahve an uncanny ability to fuck EVERYTHING up regardless of his understanding of it. My prediction is massive casualties incurred of not the compelte destruction of the Deth Star and probably Endor. he's the best weapon the rebels could have asked for.

Unless the Empire pulls out the Fonze, who fixes everything by stomping his foot, double thumbs up and an "A!"

I disagree. As wildly destructive as Tim's antics may be, he has NEVER hurt anyone other than himself with them, because that wouldn't be funny.

I predict that he'll accidentally cross wires for the septic systems and nutrient-delivery systems, so that Imperial officers accidentally get poop on their dinner plates while the dianora-whatever tentacle monster feasts on specially delivered caviar. This, combined with other hilarious, debilitating, but ultimately non-fatal glitches results in him getting kicked off the Death Star onto Endor. Here he has a long talk with an Ewok on the other side of the fence whose face is never fully visible, and Tim then returns full of new self determination to fix everything. He fails, but in the process demonstrates to the Imperials the importance of good relations with your fellow man and ushers in a new era of peace and prosperity.

[The Spartan]

How does Al factor into this scenario?

Does he just sit on the sidelines saying, "I don't think so Tim." Or does he actively involve himself and show Tim up when his work, well, works and Tim is sending poop to dinner plates and the Emperor's caviar to the tentacle monster?

Or does he wait for Vader to come to the station and hold up a sign that says, "Tim Taylor c/o Tool Time, etc.?"

[NecronLord]

The strange lunatic is taken away and interrogated.

Seriously now. Armed forces don't mix too well with random sitcoms (exceptions for military sitcoms: I can think of various Sci-Fi forces Dads' Army's platoon or Sgt. Bilko's gang would massacre). This is like Rising Damp vs the Daleks is there any point in this thread?

[Havok]

I can't believe I am doing this...

Al wouldn't just tell Tim that he should be careful and then duck when shit goes explodey, per usual. Wilson, whom I'm sure will come up, would only get involved if Tim needs relationship advice or is facing a moral dilemma.

[dworkin]

Comedy version.

Tim and Al appear dressed as Imperial Engineers (so they arn't shot on sight). Tim will decide to set the DSII to go boom, when Al point out that he can't possiably do since he knows nothing about the technology. Tim dismisses this as he's seen all six movies and anyways, all you have to do is 'reconfigure the spacial polarisers or something'. Al informs that that is Star Trek. Tim fails to understand that there's a difference and he's seen all their movies too.

So Tim gets to work on something large with flashing lights and orders a stormtrooper to 'hold a beam thingy steady on that spot'. Al asks him if that's wise, since stormtroopers are known for poor aim. Tim dismisses this since it's a big spot and not a long distance anyways and the beam thingy is practically fixed in place. The beams focus wavers under the myoptic ministrations of the stormtrooper, an accident occurs and the superlaser fires, Endor is blown into a bazillion tiny pieces and the power cuts out.

Tim and Al are brought before the Emperor. The Emperor cannot believe that such obvious incompetants are rebel spies. Tim can't believe The Emperor has not heard of him.
Al lectures the Emperor on the Death Stars sloppy OSHA compliance until The Emperor electro-bastard rays him. Tim placates The Emperor and convinces him that the bottomless pit in the throne room 'could use some work'.

The last scene is that of the rebel fleet showing up and wondering what the two dispersing clouds of debris are.

Serious version

The stormtroopers shoot Tim.