For those who are wise in the ways of females...

Bug-Eyed Earl · Post by **Bug-Eyed Earl** » 2003-02-19 02:32am

A few months ago I saw a notice in the paper saying that two people I went to high school with got married. I didn't really know them, as they were seniors when I was a freshman. but I knew the girls younger sister for awhile before I moved. I got along well with her at a time when I got along with very few people. and I did have a crush on her, and I wasn't good at hiding it.

Anyway, I moved about 60 miles away (far enough away for us to be in different phone books)shortly thereafter, and five years passed. Then I see the notice, and it said that the girl's sister and her husband live near me. I decided to take a chance and call them and ask if they could pass on my contact info if she wanted to talk to me.

Ten minutes later she called me, to my surprise. We talked for a bit, and I told her what I was up to. She said she works, goes to college, and is in a sorority. She suggested before I could that we should get together, and since she was good at Algebra, she suggested that she could help me when I mentioned I wsa taking college algebra. She gave me her email, and told me to send her an email so she could get mine.

I send her one that night along the lines of "Here it is." I decide to send her some contact info a few days later, so I sent her my YIM and AIM handles if she uses either of those. I also mentioned that I have a phone card, so if she wanted to talk over the phone, she could give me her number.

Two weeks later I don't have a response yet, but I knew that the last email was more about sharing information than requesting it. So I sent one more saying that when she wanted to get together to have lunch or something, I would like that, and she should get in touch with me.

So I can't figure this out; a month isn't that long, especially for someone who has as much to do in her life as this girl. But if she didn't want to talk to me, and she was (perhaps) just calling me once so that she would placate me, but if that's the case, she said way too much that would encourage me, and she seemed very nice all in all.

It's driving me crazy not knowing what the deal is, and after a few weeks with no response, I really don't know what to do. I feel like I should just let it go and wait it out, as I don't want to keep emailing her and sounding like a desperate freak. But I'm pissed off because I know I for once haven't done anything wrong and that I haven't screwed it up(or at least I feel that way).

Any thoughts?

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-02-19 02:35am

Hmm, that's really strange. Up until the last part, I could have sworn she was throwing herself at you. Any chance something relatively serious came up and she's been really, really busy?

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-02-19 02:39am

You might have been a good prospect for her and then someone else became a better or closer prospect for her. Shit like that happens, if you are serious about seeing her then figure out a way to pop up on her doorstep on day soon. If she does not respond well to that, the she has moved on or has no interest in you. If she response well, then BOOM, your foot is in the door.

Bug-Eyed Earl · Post by **Bug-Eyed Earl** » 2003-02-19 02:40am

Zaia wrote:Hmm, that's really strange. Up until the last part, I could have sworn she was throwing herself at you. Any chance something relatively serious came up and she's been really, really busy?

Sure. It's the not knowing that kills me. I just want to perhaps get a consensus that I have not screwed this up in ayn way. For the first time in my life, I felt smooth, an d I want something good to come of it.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-02-19 02:42am

Electronic contact information is easy to ignore or forget. Try to call her instead, and arrange a time to get together for a burger or coffee or something. When it comes to men and women, I don't think electronic communication is a workable substitute for the real thing. I know some disagree, but I personally need the immediacy of voice or face-to-face contact, and I suspect I'm in the majority.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-02-19 02:43am

BTW, if you're more aggressive, the worst-case scenario is that she tells you to go away and leave her alone. Since you're not having any contact anyway, I don't see what you have to lose.

Connor MacLeod · Post by **Connor MacLeod** » 2003-02-19 02:55am

Darth Wong wrote:Electronic contact information is easy to ignore or forget. Try to call her instead, and arrange a time to get together for a burger or coffee or something. When it comes to men and women, I don't think electronic communication is a workable substitute for the real thing. I know some disagree, but I personally need the immediacy of voice or face-to-face contact, and I suspect I'm in the majority.

Considering the absolute lack of body language and verbal/facial cues (or pretty much ANY cues) on the internet, no kidding.

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2003-02-19 03:01am

My advice? Forget her. Don't let anyone string you along. If she's actually interested in talking to you, she'll contact you. If you wish, send her a Hallmark e-card for her birthday or Christmas or something. But just once.

If she DOES write back, don't look like a desperate pup and write back immediately. Wait a week or three to answer.

Captain Kruger · Post by **Captain Kruger** » 2003-02-19 04:18am

The most important thing to remember is that there's absolutely nothing in the world more unattractive than desperation. You shouldn't dwell on her. I know how it feels to be in your position, but the truth is your life will go on just fine even if you never hear from her again. You'll come across someone else eventually.

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2003-02-19 04:30am

You know dude, we are all just toys in the great playground of women, wich is called life...

Either you admit or not, on the long term they control us.

As for your case -it may sound cruel but that's life- you were interesting for her, then she found something more interesting.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-02-19 04:40am

Boba Fett wrote:You know dude, we are all just toys in the great playground of women, wich is called life...

Either you admit or not, on the long term they control us.

Sssh! Don't let everyone know!

Earl, I think that if you can't phone her for lack of number, then give it a while (at least 2 weeks) and send her another email to remind her you would like algebra help.
Then forget it and move on. It's not that important, is it?

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2003-02-19 04:49am

innerbrat wrote:
Boba Fett wrote:You know dude, we are all just toys in the great playground of women, wich is called life...

Either you admit or not, on the long term they control us.
Sssh! Don't let everyone know!

Next time I will be careful, I promise!

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-02-19 04:49am

Women typically suck at the internet, (note to self, put in iron plated cup before submitting this post) save for a few such as the lovely, talented, and wonderful women of that board. Also,many of them ignore voicemail and email, instead waiting until you finally get hold of them. Women derive a sadistic and sometimes sexual satisfaction from this sort of activity and eleven times out of ten it is not good for the man,

My best advice is to wait in the bushes outside of her front lawn after dark and surprise her by sneaking in through a window and surprise her in the shower. Then take off your shirt and run around for awhile screaming something about "wedding bells and chasing tail."

Then, when you call her from prison on your one call, she should be around.

Captain Kruger · Post by **Captain Kruger** » 2003-02-19 05:51am

Boba Fett wrote:You know dude, we are all just toys in the great playground of women, wich is called life...

Either you admit or not, on the long term they control us.

As for your case -it may sound cruel but that's life- you were interesting for her, then she found something more interesting.

Ahem…that really depends on which head you allow to control you, the big one or the little one. It's the former in my case. In fact, I derive a great deal of pleasure in turning the tables on women by leaving them teased and frustrated. I know how to push their buttons, and I can easily endure hours of heavy petting without being desperate to go you-know-where. Sure, call me a sadist, but they've made a national pastime out of doing it to us. *shrug* Should I really feel bad?

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-02-19 05:54am

And did you spend last friday playing video games and raising your post count? Because that is what it sounds like.

Captain Kruger · Post by **Captain Kruger** » 2003-02-19 06:14am

Darth Fanboy wrote:And did you spend last friday playing video games and raising your post count? Because that is what it sounds like.

Jealous much? Sounds like you're just another slave to the little head.

Believe it or not, there is a middle ground between being a slobbering horndog with no control whatsoever and being a video game-addicted geek. Get a clue, man.

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2003-02-19 06:50am

Captain Kruger wrote:
Darth Fanboy wrote:And did you spend last friday playing video games and raising your post count? Because that is what it sounds like.
Jealous much? Sounds like you're just another slave to the little head.

Believe it or not, there is a middle ground between being a slobbering horndog with no control whatsoever and being a video game-addicted geek. Get a clue, man.

Hey, they will control you if you fall in love!

If you're independent that's a totally different case...

Captain Kruger · Post by **Captain Kruger** » 2003-02-19 06:55am

Boba Fett wrote:Hey, they will control you if you fall in love!

If you're independent that's a totally different case...

Been there, done that. I gave up the greatest love of my life because I wasn't willing to make certain sacrifices. Yes, I still miss her from time to time, and no, I don't regret my decision for a moment. Staying true to myself is infinitely more important than having someone to share my bed with.

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2003-02-19 07:48am

Captain Kruger wrote:
Boba Fett wrote:Hey, they will control you if you fall in love!

If you're independent that's a totally different case...
Been there, done that. I gave up the greatest love of my life because I wasn't willing to make certain sacrifices. Yes, I still miss her from time to time, and no, I don't regret my decision for a moment. Staying true to myself is infinitely more important than having someone to share my bed with.

Hmmm...almost my thoughts!

Although I'm quite diplomatic, I'd like to say:

"The more compromise you make, the more you loose from yourself..."

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-02-19 08:11am

Captain Kruger wrote:
Darth Fanboy wrote:And did you spend last friday playing video games and raising your post count? Because that is what it sounds like.
Jealous much? Sounds like you're just another slave to the little head.

Believe it or not, there is a middle ground between being a slobbering horndog with no control whatsoever and being a video game-addicted geek. Get a clue, man.

Theres a difference between being a slave to the little head and allowing it to advise you on matters of importance. The way you're speaking makes it sound like you've never had any kind of urge in your life other than to "get the power up and win the game".

Believe it or not, women can be more entertaining than a video game. Or did you go out and get DOA Volleyball? Sorry I'll quit interrupting.

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-02-19 08:26am

I got friends from HS that I keep contact with through e-mail but I don't check my mail that often (yahoo account) so it may go for a few months before I reply to them. Also, sometimes I just don't feel like replying right then and forget about it for a couple weeks.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-02-19 10:58am

ArmorPierce wrote:I got friends from HS that I keep contact with through e-mail but I don't check my mail that often (yahoo account) so it may go for a few months before I reply to them. Also, sometimes I just don't feel like replying right then and forget about it for a couple weeks.

I do that too. But only with guy friends that I've known for a awhile.

If this is someone fairly new, as is the original case, a month seems to be quite a bit of time to wait. Especially considering how easy it is to just write a quick e-mail saying hi or something.

Larz · Post by **Larz** » 2003-02-19 12:00pm

Yeah, some people are bad at e-mails. A girl from HS recently e-mailed me about a week ago. This was after I last emailed her in September. She could just be really busy (I don't check my e-mail for 3-4 days this semester, this from somebody who used to check it 2-3 times daily!) I'd just wait a little bit longer, and then send a reminder e-mail. Past that the most I can say is call her (always leaves a better impression) or just put her out of mind.

Ted · Post by **Ted** » 2003-02-19 12:43pm

As every one has said, call her.

I know girls that only check their emails once a week at the most, unless you tell them to check it, for school work, or asnything important. Honestly, I doubt that she has checked her email since then, give her a brief reminder about it, should work that.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-02-19 12:56pm

I believe you said she is in a soroity, right? Well, that right there eats up a lot of your free time since it's pledge time. I agree with the others. Give her a call, just say hi, and see where it goes from there.