Stupidest Thing You've Ever Heard?

Ryoga · Post by **Ryoga** » 2003-02-20 06:39pm

Anybody hear something incredibly brainless IRL, that reminds you of why the Darwin Awards are still around? I thought it'd be fun to 'share the love'.

I'll start with something I overheard today on the bus. There were a couple of teenage snotballs sitting behind me, talking about how 'hardcore' they are and other things that the younger generation like to gab about. I was doing my best to ignore the whole conversation. Then, out of the blue, I hear one of the pimply-faced losers yell at the guy next to him: "You can't die from alcohol, dumbass!" Yeah, you keep thinking that, Junior...

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-02-20 06:43pm

"The bible has been mis-translated so many times from its original HINDU that its lost all meaning." Almost but not quite.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-02-20 06:45pm

No you idiot, the kidney isn't on the right side! It's on the left!

Cap'n Hector · Post by **Cap'n Hector** » 2003-02-20 06:51pm

I was told that my computer didn't have VRAM one time.

I've also been informed that 8 mm camcorders switch to digital when the screen is open...

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-02-20 06:52pm

My neighbor thinks his annoying as fuck windchimes keep bees away.

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-20 07:03pm

"YOU STUPID ENGLISH TW*T! THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT WAS A REAL DOCUMENTARY!" << The reason I no longer visit MSN chat rooms.
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"You dont need insurance to drive a car"
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"I'm telling you Luke, you film slow-motion at 8 frames a second. 92? I think not...that would make it go really really really fast! You know nothing about film!"
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"I'm not drunk...I can handle my drink...trust me....HURL!"
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"They'll never clone a human"
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"I doubt the Americans are ignorant enough to vote another Bush into office..."
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"Bullet-Time was shot on one camera! They just sped it down later!" (same person as the frames one...needless to say I no longer talk to him).

Captain Jack · Post by **Captain Jack** » 2003-02-20 07:09pm

I was told by a woman i know that things float in space because there is no air presure to hold it down.

blkmage · Post by **blkmage** » 2003-02-20 07:12pm

The scanner uses a modem to convert analog signals into digital signals.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-02-20 07:25pm

I overheard someone saying "Harry Potter was real" once. Then, there are all those new age kooks.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-02-21 07:57am

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I overheard someone saying "Harry Potter was real" once. Then, there are all those new age kooks.

You're sure that the guy saying "Harry Potter was real" was NOT a new age kook?

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2003-02-21 08:02am

"You dont need insurance to drive a car"

Thats true thought...

Montana and Vermont(I think, I know their are two states and Montana is one of them) don't require insurance before you drive a Car

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-02-21 01:00pm

A previous job a co-worker said black people had to pay higher taxes simply because they were black.

Enlightenment · Post by **Enlightenment** » 2003-02-21 03:24pm

Any speech by Shrubby.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-02-21 04:40pm

I've heard many stupid things, but a guy - whose name shall not be mentioned - once tried to convince me that Peter Jackson never made a movie based on Lord Of The Rings.... in 2001.

The Great Unbearded One · Post by **The Great Unbearded One** » 2003-02-21 05:05pm

Mr Bean wrote:
"You dont need insurance to drive a car"
Thats true thought...

Montana and Vermont(I think, I know their are two states and Montana is one of them) don't require insurance before you drive a Car

Hmmm, I didn't know about that...but she was in the UK and over here you have to have insurance to drive a car. Very scary. She's a woman. She's blonde. She'll be driving soon. People of South England - clear the roads and take cover!!!

Perinquus · Post by **Perinquus** » 2003-02-21 07:04pm

Enlightenment wrote:Any speech by Shrubby.

Anytime I hear somebody automatically discount anything a person says, just because they don't approve of or like that person, rather than actually listen to the argument, and refute or accept it on its own merits.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-02-21 08:28pm

Perinquus, you forgot to finish your sentence.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2003-02-21 08:39pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Perinquus, you forgot to finish your sentence.

Yeah, what do you do when someone does that? Well, in my experience with that particular statement, just don't make a similar claim about a democrat or liberal; they'll often getreally mad and tell you you're being unreasonable or unfair.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-02-21 08:53pm

Enlightenment wrote:Any speech by Shrubby.

The above

Perinquus · Post by **Perinquus** » 2003-02-21 09:52pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Perinquus, you forgot to finish your sentence.

I didn't think I really need to add the preamble: "The stupidest thing I've ever heard is..."

I figured that part was pretty well understood, given the title of this thread and all.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-02-21 09:54pm

Ah, it just seemed that you were going to finish by saying 'Anytime I hear anyone say ______ I go off in a sucidial rage' or something.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2003-02-21 10:04pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Ah, it just seemed that you were going to finish by saying 'Anytime I hear anyone say ______ I go off in a sucidial rage' or something.

Same here. I didn't catch it untill after I posted, though.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-02-21 10:41pm

That's powerful enough to vapourize a star!

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-02-21 10:45pm

"Ozzy Osbourne should be in a band."

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-02-21 10:50pm

"A penis is just like a sausage, it's not gonna hurt if you cut it off or anything!" I was quite tempted to castrate him on the spot so that he can't contaminate the genepool with his stupidity.