The Official FTL Technowank Thread!

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2003-02-20 12:46am

Your job is to theorize a means by which at least one person can be transported to Alpha Centauri in less time than it would take a beam of light to travel the same distance. In order to make this a little more interesting than "Impossible, so shut up!" I'll take a big dump on reality in the following ways:

A - You have a means of importing energy into the universe in any arbitrary quantity you wish.

B - You have a means of sending this energy back into the netherworld (or whatever) when you're finished with it.

C - You can assume that no mistakes or breakdowns will ever take place. For example, there will never be a sudden failure of item B, leaving you with eleventy-billion yottajoules of energy that really want to go somewhere and end up frying half the universe.

D - You have construction materials of any arbitrary properties you care to make up. Completely unbreakable? Sure. Capable of withstanding infinite amounts of heat? Okay. Whatever.

E - You have infinite time, money, material, and manpower to work with.

So what the hell could you do with "perfect" materials and "infinite" energy that might let you cheat Einstein?

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-02-20 12:53am

Wormholes. Theyre the only known method, without rewriting the laws of physics (which isnt necessarilly forbidden just likely to be as easy as penetrating Darkstars wall of idiocy)

Cyborg Stan · Post by **Cyborg Stan** » 2003-02-20 12:55am

I place a big, light-years long block of bose-einstein condensate to block the path of light. I then go out and take my time.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-02-20 12:57am

I forget about travelling to Alpha Centauri and immediately patent this "arbitrary energy from nowhere" capability so that I will become obscenely wealthy.

Cyborg Stan · Post by **Cyborg Stan** » 2003-02-20 01:03am

Alternatively : manufacture a series of black holes that simply deflect the light in a big circle. Dissapate them when you're finished.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-02-20 01:07am

Darth Wong wrote:I forget about travelling to Alpha Centauri and immediately patent this "arbitrary energy from nowhere" capability so that I will become obscenely wealthy.

Not before I patent the Power of Prayer.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-02-20 01:10am

GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:Fine, make me add a new item!

F - If you give up on sending someone to Alpha Centauri, Jesus will appear and kill you. Furthermore, Jesus is impervious to all weapons and can penetrate any defense. Even ones supplied with infinite energy. So there.

Fine, I'll use my vast wealth to build a starship and send somebody off to Alpha Centauri. He'll arrive in a few centuries, at which time I won't be around to discover that I failed the challenge, after having lived a long life of insane luxury.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-02-20 01:16am

Absurd FTL....hmmm.....

Well, I could use a giant gyroscopic thingy to produce some weird space-time reaction thingy that transports a ship via some weird extra-dimensional thingy to any destination in the known universe, which would include Alpha Centauri.

Not an entirely serious post, but neither is this thread. ^_^

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-02-20 01:29am

Does it have to be positive energy? If not, I'll just use an Alcubierre Warp Drive. If so...uhhh...dunno

.

Nova Andromeda · Post by **Nova Andromeda** » 2003-02-20 01:52am

--Well I live it up with these new found abilities and wait to appear on Alpha Centauri at faster than the speed of light (which should happen eventually thanks to quantum mechanics).

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2003-02-20 03:44am

I create a massive super-string out of somesort of energy, then create a ship made with unbreakable Supertonium and start it orbiting thesuper string. Within a few minutes, I start the super string to 'roll'. Basically the superstring streches from Earth to Centauri, and the string just drags the ship along like a conveyor belt moving at beyond lightspeed.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-02-20 07:46am

I would build a device which can convert mass to energy and vice versa without losses, and use it to make obscene amounts of mail containing paychecks. These would be placed in an array of ships and launched towards Alpha Centauri just shy of C. Then, a ship full of bills, created in the same way as the first ships, would be launched, with me in it. Bills always arrive long before the paychecks. The ship will be launched at a point where the only way to beat the paychecks is to exceed C.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-02-20 07:57am

XaLEv wrote:I would build a device which can convert mass to energy and vice versa without losses, and use it to make obscene amounts of mail containing paychecks. These would be placed in an array of ships and launched towards Alpha Centauri just shy of C. Then, a ship full of bills, created in the same way as the first ships, would be launched, with me in it. Bills always arrive long before the paychecks. The ship will be launched at a point where the only way to beat the paychecks is to exceed C.

To ensure this speed....fill it with a 1:1 ratio of bad news:bills....

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-02-20 09:57am

Simple. If it takes an infinite amount of energy to accelerate something with mass past c, just get an infinite amount of energy and give the ship a push.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-02-20 01:06pm

Ever noticed that when you connect a gear to a smaller one, and turn the large one, the small one turns faster? What if I took a really really big gear and connected it to a really really small one, it would turn much, much faster. If I connect an even bigger gear to the large one, and then add the power of steam engine, and put it in a steamer ship, it would go so friggin' fast that it would leave the water, into the atmosphere and out into space!

I figured out that if I then switched to some really powerful engine, the dang thing would achieve speeds that are faster than light itself!

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-02-20 01:38pm

Andrew J. wrote:Simple. If it takes an infinite amount of energy to accelerate something with mass past c, just get an infinite amount of energy and give the ship a push.

You realise that would create an infinitely big black hole, that would expand at lightspeed and destroy the universe.

Lets call that plan "B"

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-02-20 02:22pm

The Resetters little, crippled, autistic brother, the Reset Gate.

Due to E=MC^2, I can move arbitrary amounts of mass in and out of reality, right? Without margin of error, I simply shift the ships passing through out of reality, then back in at coordinates. She-bang. Now I go live life as a very rich man in Tiawana.

Grog · Post by **Grog** » 2003-02-20 02:54pm

EDIT sorry it is a little bit late and when I remembered teh little relativity I know I remembered why my idea wont work

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-02-20 03:54pm

Jesus kills me, because it's impossible to go faster than the speed of light. On the off chance he won't, I patent my infinite energy and indestructable material process, then purchase Brazil.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-02-20 03:58pm

Invent Time-travel. Send someone back fiftey years, and throw them onto a Bassard Ram-jet. Have fun.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-02-20 07:53pm

I'd find some way to bypass the exact speed of light, and create tachyonic matter. Unfortuantely, that violates the laws of physics, and would probably be rejected as a lone in Enterprise.

Perhaps, with unlimited power, I could pull a faraway section of the universe towards myself.

Sokar · Post by **Sokar** » 2003-02-20 08:11pm

Darth Wong wrote:I forget about travelling to Alpha Centauri and immediately patent this "arbitrary energy from nowhere" capability so that I will become obscenely wealthy.

Fuckin'A right!

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-02-21 12:43am

I patent all the givens, and become the richest man in the universe. Then, I create a black hole to divert all light between here and Alpha Centauri. Then I accelerate, using c from my perspective so that I'll never have infinite mass. However, I will be using c from earth's perspective to time myself.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-02-21 01:00am

GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:For absolutely no reason at all, I am declaring this idea the winner!

Ever noticed that when you connect a gear to a smaller one, and turn the large one, the small one turns faster? What if I took a really really big gear and connected it to a really really small one, it would turn much, much faster. If I connect an even bigger gear to the large one, and then add the power of steam engine, and put it in a steamer ship, it would go so friggin' fast that it would leave the water, into the atmosphere and out into space!

I won! I won!

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-02-21 06:57am

Invent a wormhole. put one end in earth's orbit, and the other one inside a sstarship that'll arrive in Alpha Centuri. Once it reaches A.C. (In several hundred years), fly a Space Shuttle through the wormhole. The Space Shuttle will have, technically, gotten to A.C. faster than light.

P.S. Slartibartfast's spacegoing steamer wouldn't go faster than light, seeing as it is impossible to do so no matter how much energy you use.