The Salvation War: Pantheocide. Part Eighty One Up

[Guardsman Bass]

I like "Flappers", as raised by someone else in the thread. It's simple, mostly accurate in a literal sense, and it can be shortened down to "Flaps". You could even make an insult out of it, calling a dumb demon/angel/person a "flapwit" or the like.

[Nematocyst]

Or 'flappies'

Also, 'pillows'. They are full of feathers.

[Emerson33260]

(I go on about this because this is a common creationist misunderstanding ... look up "crocoduck" )

Giving a new slant on the old New York colloquialism "That's a crock!"

Were I present in the Armageddon universe, I would test the term 'tweeties' to identify angels; annoying in the extreme, feathered and ineffectual and they don't have Granny or a bulldog to do the butt-kicking.

[Nematocyst]

Uriel was the Bulldog (what was his name?), Yahweh the Granny.
However, I can't put 'Michael = Sylvester' because Sylvester always failed.

[Deebles]

One more idea: screamers, based on the trumpeting. Also works well as an adjective with other presented possibilities (screaming flappers; screaming jellies), and plays up another difference between angels and humanity. Might work particularly well in military contexts for hit-and-run attacks from any discontented factions ("screamer attack on [target] at [location]") - one particular difficulty with policing heaven will be that you really can't disarm its more naturally powerful citizens, shy of killing them, maiming them, or putting them in heavily customised restraints.

[Old Peculier]

Call them Tooers or Tooies from 'Universe Two'.

Alternatively call them Yootoos (U2s) or Bonos. Could be shortened to Yoots or to Bones, Bonnies, or Bons.

The term could be used to include beings from other bubble worlds as well, within Universe Two.

[Deebles]

Call them Tooers or Tooies from 'Universe Two'.

Alternatively call them Yootoos (U2s) or Bonos. Could be shortened to Yoots or to Bones, Bonnies, or Bons.

The term could be used to include beings from other bubble worlds as well, within Universe Two.

Also a good one!

So far, my favourite five are as follows (but then, I'm horribly biased):

5. Screamers
4. Percies
3. Flappers
2. 2ers
1. 'Gellies

EDIT: Given that these are generally describing slightly different things, this would give us the following.

2ers for all inhabitants of universe 2 (Angels, Demons, Orcs, Second-life Humans and all)
Flappers for both Angels and Demons
Gellies or Percies for Angels
Baldricks for Demons
Screamers for angelic holdouts (if there are any)

[thegreatpl]

Flappers rolls off the tongue and is easy to remember.

[LadyTevar]

I like tweeties, myself.

[darksoul]

I like tweeties, myself.

tweeties sounds funny

listen people, can`t we get a poll or something here? I believe there are enough options already, and some are very good. Personal favorites are Jellies, tweeties, screamers and flappers (because of the potential to use in wordplay), in that order. It`s time to decide this based on popularity.

[thegreatpl]

that might end up evolving into tweets. Quicker to say.

[impatrick4life]

Flappers, IMO.

[Old Peculier]

I like Yoots from U2, for Angel-Demon-Others and Feathered eunuchs/Giant surrender-monkeys as derogatory terms for angels, with Jellies as the friendlier term.

I also thought of 'Junkies' or some variant like 'Stoners' or 'Hippies' (Harpies?) perhaps might become a popular name for the angels if Michael's nightclub's activities becomes public knowledge early on. A bit like how Brits in general are called Limeys because of the small population of Brits who were sailors who were seen sucking on Limes stop scurvy.

[darksoul]

I like Yoots from U2, for Angel-Demon-Others and Feathered eunuchs/Giant surrender-monkeys as derogatory terms for angels, with Jellies as the friendlier term.

I also thought of 'Junkies' or some variant like 'Stoners' or 'Hippies' (Harpies?) perhaps might become a popular name for the angels if Michael's nightclub's activities becomes public knowledge early on. A bit like how Brits in general are called Limeys because of the small population of Brits who were sailors who were seen sucking on Limes stop scurvy.

Well, I`m out of my depth here, but sailors were, historically, HUGELY important in British history and pretty much everything Great Britain did in its golden age, so associating British with its Navy was consistent, like Kung Fu with Chinese, etcetera. Angels at Michael Club are not likely to be known now... I guess Stoners would be used in history books, something like "The Stoner Conspiracy of 2010 that put an end to the tyrannical rule of Yahwe"....

[Junghalli]

Birds is my favorite suggestion. It's conceptually simple and obviously descriptive. It "feels" to me like something that people would plausibly start calling them. A lot of the other suggestions IMHO sound too hard like they're trying too hard to be clever.

[darksoul]

Birds is my favorite suggestion. It's conceptually simple and obviously descriptive. It "feels" to me like something that people would plausibly start calling them. A lot of the other suggestions IMHO sound too hard like they're trying too hard to be clever.

yes, of course we are Trying Too Hard. But we have come to some pretty acceptable ones.
Poll, people!

[Ryan Thunder]

Birds is my favorite suggestion. It's conceptually simple and obviously descriptive. It "feels" to me like something that people would plausibly start calling them. A lot of the other suggestions IMHO sound too hard like they're trying too hard to be clever.

Thanks.

[Junghalli]

Birds is my favorite suggestion. It's conceptually simple and obviously descriptive. It "feels" to me like something that people would plausibly start calling them. A lot of the other suggestions IMHO sound too hard like they're trying too hard to be clever.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

[GrayAnderson]

I like Yoots from U2, for Angel-Demon-Others and Feathered eunuchs/Giant surrender-monkeys as derogatory terms for angels, with Jellies as the friendlier term.

I also thought of 'Junkies' or some variant like 'Stoners' or 'Hippies' (Harpies?) perhaps might become a popular name for the angels if Michael's nightclub's activities becomes public knowledge early on. A bit like how Brits in general are called Limeys because of the small population of Brits who were sailors who were seen sucking on Limes stop scurvy.

"Your honor, these two yoots..."

(Sorry, generating these nicknames is causing me to think up all sorts of jokes, references, and such)

[Uncluttered]

A note:

Despite its' supposed clever popularity, 'Ozzie' will never describe a demon as a pejorative as long as the nation of AUSTRALIA utilizes the term as one of pride. It makes as much sense as calling an angel a 'yankee'.

Good point. How about calling Demons "Ozbournes"?

Speaking of undead rockstars: When are we going to have the Beatles reunion?

[xthetenth]

Why do we need to choose between them? There's such an amazing variety of slurs to be had in real life, and fiction should imitate reality in this case. Although one or two should be the main ones, variety is good.

[Uncluttered]

Have you establised the reasons for the deamon/angel mutations yet?

I'm not a huge fan of the "divergent evolution from a common ancestor" idea to explain angels and deamons. I'd rather see this is a mutation/aging process that happens to homosapiens who live in the environment of hell/heaven.

I bring this up because Angels are more likely to be directly related to homosapiens rather than to a precurser primate.
Its not like Micheal-lan was described as being an incredible handsome neanderthal.

The growth of wings is pretty radical, and there would be a greater than zero chance of finding a missing link fossil on earth if we shared a common ancestor.

What if the mutation was the "natural" process of how an immortal second lifer ages in these environments?
The mutation can be heritable, so that eventually the denizens were angels or demons from birth. Over time, they could have just forgotten this. Maybe intentionally.


Of course, this change wouldn't happen overnight. There would most likely be intermediate steps. However, if most of the humans in hell have only been there for a thousand years, it might not be obvious. It might take at least 3000 years to sprout horns and wings.
If all humans originally went to heaven, it would be even harder to tell, since angels look more like humans than the demons do. The only obvious extent of the mutation at early stages could be very clear skin.

Is there a known fossil record for the orcs that proves they evolved in hell?
Could you change it so that Orks are an offshoot of neanderthal?
If you did this, you could make some of the demon varieties be a result of crossbreeding of orcs with either humans, Angels, or demons.

I know it sounds a little stargatey, but the idea is fair use.

[darksoul]

I bring this up because Angels are more likely to be directly related to homosapiens rather than to a precurser primate.
Its not like Micheal-lan was described as being an incredible handsome neanderthal.
(...)
What if the mutation was the "natural" process of how an immortal second lifer ages in these environments?

that would imply that caelis is an evolution of sapiens, which we know cant be since homo sapiens, at least on earth, is younger by a couple millions of years.

There is no need to have a fossil of a common ancestor on earth. If you read my previous posts on the matter carefully, you should see that the idea is to have an even older ancestor than what we know is the line of the homo sapiens.

the other idea, which I like less but I must recognize makes a lot of sense, is having humans descend from caelis and not the other way around, via crossbreeding with earlier hominids. That would explain a lot. To account for the genetic compatibility of early hominids and angels of that time (which could be different from what they look like now) we can again use the very old common ancestor, maybe in another buble world, maybe seeded. So the evolution would be:
common root,maybe in another bubble world.
these beings become sentient.
some evolved portals, and left, maybe scape a social, environmental or genetic holocaust of sorts. These became angels in time.
Somehow, probably aided by the protoangels, the survivors of whatever catastrophe happened in the Primal bubble world were transplanted to earth,seeded here.s c
Evolution takes its course, both in caelis and humans.

This is an explanation with a couple of holes, specially in the timeline of it. The only way I see to circunvent the millions of years gap between angels and humans, without resorting to some sort of theory of evolution involving two lines evolving into human form independently, is having a Seeder, a creator, a la Xel Naga or something. The gap between sentient angels and sentient humans is to big to work out something plausible with ease.

Orcs descending from neardelthals, or rather viceversa is interesting, though. Maybe you are on to something there to explain anything, although I dont like the idea of having orcs as parte of the hominini genus..

[Uncluttered]

This is an explanation with a couple of holes, specially in the timeline of it. The only way I see to circunvent the millions of years gap between angels and humans, without resorting to some sort of theory of evolution involving two lines evolving into human form independently, is having a Seeder, a creator, a la Xel Naga or something. The gap between sentient angels and sentient humans is to big to work out something plausible with ease.

I agree. The million years gap is the problem.
According to wikipedia---Good Enough for this folks---"Modern" Humans appeared on earth 200000 years ago.
Diverging from/with Neanderthals 500000 years ago.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human

We know that biblical years are innacurate. I find it unlikely that Noah lived to 500 years unless his arc ran at relativistic velocities.

There are no orbiting bodies in heaven and hell, which means that they have no means to tell time via astronomy. Without a pinpoint sun, they can't even use a sun dial. Do heaven and hell even have seasons?

I think you will find that heaven keeps an official water clock in the celestial temple, and that bells ring or trumpets sound out at prayer time.
I suggest a waterclock, because it's the simplest of mechanical clocks. You don't need much more than a bucket with a hole.
Here's a link to a wikipedia -good enough for this--article on waterclocks: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_clock

Human peasents who hear the bells ring will use it to calibrate their water clocks, unaware that there is a speed of sound. The Eternal city will have unintentional time zones. No one will know, because the angels cannot fly faster than sound. This compounds the already inherent errors found with water clocks.
Over time, the the errors in time keeping add up and up and up.
Eventually the primitives think 100000 years is eternity. They have nothing to do but sit around. They don't even have out-of-date magazines to read.

Here's a story....
lets say some ancient alien creature visited earth, decided that humans had "souls", and started the reincarnation machine in heaven for us. Or maybe humans consciousness has the inherent ability because it's so magically badass; it hacked its way in.
Humans get reincarnated in heaven, and over time slowly morph into angelic beings. Life is good. They get clear skin, don't go hungry, eventually grow wings and can fly, have lots of sex without consequence.

A small tribe figures out a way to focus power: The Yahweh bunch. The Yahweh bunch.

Yahweh himself becomes the most powerful, because he's an asexual savant with the celestial mojo. (He's basically an antisocial basement dwelling nerd without the curiousity. With no comic books, or internet, the only thing to placate him was power.)
Eventually all who oppose him are dead, converted, or have fled.
Yahweh starts to believe his own shit.

Some of the Angels, including Satan, fled to hell, which was already a colony where Orcs were used for slave labor. In the environment of hell, they changed even further. Their angelic forms "adapted" to hell, became red, grew horns, but became more fertile. The minos gate was found, and satan was able to divert some of the humans through it.

After a few centuries of waring, the brothers reached a stalemate.

One day, a blashemous human got into heaven. This human didn't know how to keep his mouth shut, and pissed of Yahweh. After the ashes were cleaned up and fed to the animals, Yahweh decided to send all humans to Hell; confident in the knowledge that the hellions could never attack Heaven. Yahweh never suspected that the humans might one day be able to attack Heaven themselves.

When the LHC came online, [or insert event here], Yahweh got bad news from an angel scouting party. The majority of humans were heretics! The "message" was delivered, and the salvation war began.

[Stuart]

Yahweh himself becomes the most powerful, because he's an asexual savant with the celestial mojo. (He's basically an antisocial basement dwelling nerd without the curiousity. With no comic books, or internet, the only thing to placate him was power.)

That's the best description of Yahweh we've had to date. The rest of your story works pretty well. There are no seasons or weather zones in Heaven (or Hell). The climate is temperate/calm everywhere. This means that the amount of livable area in Heaven and Hell is immense - in raw surface area it's about 50 percent bigger than the land area of Earth. Earth, Heaven and Hell are all the same size more or less but Earth is 60 percent water, 40 percent land while Heaven and Hell are 60 percent land, 40 percent water. Also, only about 30 percent of earth's land is habitable while all of Heaven and Hell's is.