Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

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FSTargetDrone
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Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by FSTargetDrone »

Before you read, just go ahead and guess, A.) the party of the candidate and 2.) what politically-oriented advocacy group he is affiliated with.

These people are truly, madly, deeply fucking nuts:
August 4, 2010, 6:05 pm

Colorado Candidate Warns of Bicycle Plot

By JOHN COLLINS RUDOLF

Green: Politics

The front-runner for the Republican nomination in the Colorado governor’s race is causing a stir with claims that his likely Democratic opponent, Mayor John Hickenlooper of Denver, is bringing the city under United Nations control by promoting bike riding and other sustainability measures.

“This is all very well-disguised, but it will be exposed,” Dan Maes, a Tea Party favorite, told supporters at a recent campaign rally, according to The Denver Post.

Questioned by a Post reporter, Mr. Maes said that his comments referred to Denver’s membership in the International Council for Local Environmental Initiatives, a coalition of roughly 1,200 member cities from nearly 70 countries that was founded to promote sustainable development.

Mr. Hickenlooper’s signature bicycling initiative is called B-Cycle, and provides about 400 red bicycles for rent around the city.

“At first, I thought, ‘Gosh, public transportation, what’s wrong with that, and what’s wrong with people parking their cars and riding their bikes? And what’s wrong with incentives for green cars?’ But if you do your homework and research, you realize ICLEI is part of a greater strategy to rein in American cities under a United Nations treaty,” Mr. Maes said of the organization, which was established in 1990 during a conference at the United Nations headquarters in New York.

He added: “This is bigger than it looks like on the surface, and it could threaten our personal freedoms.”

A spokesman for the mayor pointed out that Denver’s membership in the group dates back to 1992. Mr. Hickenlooper was elected mayor in 2003.

Mr. Maes, who has been endorsed by Tea Party groups in the state, surged to front-runner status in the Republican primary after his opponent, Scott McInnis, admitted to multiple instances of plagiarism in research articles for which he was paid $300,000.

In the aftermath of the revelations, Mr. McInnis tumbled badly in the polls and Mr. Maes pulled narrowly ahead.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Patrick Degan »

Because, obviously, bicycling is COMMUNISM!
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by General Mung Beans »

Hmm the plagarist or the conspiracy theorist? I think I'll take the former.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by ShadowDragon8685 »

General Mung Beans wrote:Hmm the plagarist or the conspiracy theorist? I think I'll take the former.
At least a plagiarist might rip-off somebody who had good ideas. The nutjob is likely to make fruit cobbler illegal on the grounds that it's an evil communist conspiracy.
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Way to overwork a metaphor Shadow. I feel really creeped out now.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by General Zod »

Sadly my plans for leaving this state are still a few more years off. On the positive side I'll be surprised if this assclown actually manages to get elected.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by [R_H] »

I'm having trouble deciding if this is crazier than that candidate (Whitman?) in California who's against water conservation.

Reminded me of that asshat that was here awhile back who also opposed conservation.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Brother-Captain Gaius »

I seriously doubt this tool's going to get anywhere. Looking at my ballot, Hickenlooper is the only Democratic candidate, and he'd have to fuck this up pretty badly to lose.

(also my dad is on the ballot, woo Image)
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

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Brother-Captain Gaius wrote:I seriously doubt this tool's going to get anywhere. Looking at my ballot, Hickenlooper is the only Democratic candidate, and he'd have to fuck this up pretty badly to lose.

(also my dad is on the ballot, woo Image)

Wait, your dad is Tom Tancrado? :shock:
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Gil Hamilton »

Oh, that's pretty rich. He can't even tone it down by saying that bicycling and green cars are economically unviable or something and strain some logic to make it bad for the state? Something that didn't hit the rocks on Crazy Coast and begin to capsize?

Like people who make explosives or meth, politicians who spout off about the UN taking over America via bicycling is a self correcting problem.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Kanastrous »

ShadowDragon8685 wrote: The nutjob is likely to make fruit cobbler illegal on the grounds that it's an evil communist conspiracy.
Only the cherry, strawberry, and rhubarb cobblers. The other kinds are politically neutral.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by ShadowDragon8685 »

Kanastrous wrote:
ShadowDragon8685 wrote: The nutjob is likely to make fruit cobbler illegal on the grounds that it's an evil communist conspiracy.
Only the cherry, strawberry, and rhubarb cobblers. The other kinds are politically neutral.
Rhubarb cobbler should be outlawed, but for an entirely different reason: it's a fucking abomination of the culinary arts. But he can have my cherry cobbler when he pries it from my cold, dead hands!
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Way to overwork a metaphor Shadow. I feel really creeped out now.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Ritterin Sophia »

ShadowDragon8685 wrote:
Kanastrous wrote:
ShadowDragon8685 wrote: The nutjob is likely to make fruit cobbler illegal on the grounds that it's an evil communist conspiracy.
Only the cherry, strawberry, and rhubarb cobblers. The other kinds are politically neutral.
Rhubarb cobbler should be outlawed, but for an entirely different reason: it's a fucking abomination of the culinary arts. But he can have my cherry cobbler when he pries it from my cold, dead hands!
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Simon_Jester »

If he's holding a cherry cobbler, killing him will probably break it, at which point he will be both dead and red... how does that fit into the big guy's programming?
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Marcus Aurelius »

Let's correct this a bit:
Patrick Degan wrote:Because, obviously, bicycling any other mode of modern ground transportation except a privately owned car or truck with a large gasoline engine is COMMUNISM!
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Brother-Captain Gaius »

ZGundam wrote:Wait, your dad is Tom Tancrado? :shock:
Uh... no. I'm... not entirely sure how you reached that conclusion.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by General Zod »

Brother-Captain Gaius wrote:
ZGundam wrote:Wait, your dad is Tom Tancrado? :shock:
Uh... no. I'm... not entirely sure how you reached that conclusion.
It seems like most of the people on the ballot are incumbents. It's not Andrew Romanoff is it? :P
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Molyneux »

ShadowDragon8685 wrote:
Kanastrous wrote:
ShadowDragon8685 wrote: The nutjob is likely to make fruit cobbler illegal on the grounds that it's an evil communist conspiracy.
Only the cherry, strawberry, and rhubarb cobblers. The other kinds are politically neutral.
Rhubarb cobbler should be outlawed, but for an entirely different reason: it's a fucking abomination of the culinary arts. But he can have my cherry cobbler when he pries it from my cold, dead hands!
Hey, a friend of mine once made some very tasty banana-rhubarb pie.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Brother-Captain Gaius »

General Zod wrote:It seems like most of the people on the ballot are incumbents. It's not Andrew Romanoff is it? :P
No. In fact he won't even show up unless you're in congressional district 6 anyway. :P
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by General Zod »

Brother-Captain Gaius wrote:
General Zod wrote:It seems like most of the people on the ballot are incumbents. It's not Andrew Romanoff is it? :P
No. In fact he won't even show up unless you're in congressional district 6 anyway. :P
Oh, so nowhere important then. :P
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by ZGundam »

Doesn't matter at this point. The GOP in Colorado has self-imploded so anyone they run against the Looper will lose.

Having Tom in there as well will just make it worse.

Then we will have bicylces EVERYWHERE!!! :P
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

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Mr. Maes, who has been endorsed by Tea Party groups in the state
Needless to say, retards endorse retards.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Ritterin Sophia »

Brother-Captain Gaius wrote:
General Zod wrote:It seems like most of the people on the ballot are incumbents. It's not Andrew Romanoff is it? :P
No. In fact he won't even show up unless you're in congressional district 6 anyway. :P
Is it John Flerlage? McNealy is too young to be your dad and if you were Coffman's son I would think we'd have heard something by now.
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Re: Gubernatorial Candidate's Warnings Of UN Bicycle Plot!

Post by Brother-Captain Gaius »

No, no, no. Terrible. :P

(hint: vote democratic for state board of education for less intelligent design and more intelligent curriculum :wink:)
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