Which science fiction universe has the worst tactics?

[CaptHawkeye]

Or any scenario which basically doesn't make the zombies anything less then GOD will ultimately fail. Usually it will just get to a point where the zombie fans will just make the walking corpses magically super fast, super strong, equip them with remote control limbs, make virus transmission airborne, everyone on the planet is infected all at once, etc etc etc. When it gets to that point you might as well be asking how to defeat Cthulu.

Of course, none of this deals with the fact that Mr. Crazy Man with a Katana in his boarded up house will STILL be one of the first guys to die.

[Vendetta]

make virus transmission airborne, everyone on the planet is infected all at once, etc etc etc.

Feed has those things and the zombies still lost so trivially that the actual zombie apocalypse is just background detail (the story is set 20 years later).

[Sarevok]

Or any scenario which basically doesn't make the zombies anything less then GOD will ultimately fail. Usually it will just get to a point where the zombie fans will just make the walking corpses magically super fast, super strong, equip them with remote control limbs, make virus transmission airborne, everyone on the planet is infected all at once, etc etc etc. When it gets to that point you might as well be asking how to defeat Cthulu.

Of course, none of this deals with the fact that Mr. Crazy Man with a Katana in his boarded up house will STILL be one of the first guys to die.

I liked Prototype video games approach to a threatening zombie crisis with a hero character making a difference. After the outbreak zombies were being slaughtered left and right by military response. Ingame a single marine or blackwatch special forces soldier would taken a dozen zombies before being overwhelmed. And they had tanks and helicopter gunships conducting literal genocide on anything they thought was infected. The real threat was the Zerg like bio monsters that later evolved from the Zombies. As for the protagonist he is not Mr Katana man. He is the most wanked out biotech abomination I have seen in fiction. There is good reason why he can devastate military and infected alike with ease and ultimately plays a role in deciding the fate of zombie infested New York.

[Molyneux]

Or any scenario which basically doesn't make the zombies anything less then GOD will ultimately fail. Usually it will just get to a point where the zombie fans will just make the walking corpses magically super fast, super strong, equip them with remote control limbs, make virus transmission airborne, everyone on the planet is infected all at once, etc etc etc. When it gets to that point you might as well be asking how to defeat Cthulu.

Of course, none of this deals with the fact that Mr. Crazy Man with a Katana in his boarded up house will STILL be one of the first guys to die.

I liked Prototype video games approach to a threatening zombie crisis with a hero character making a difference. After the outbreak zombies were being slaughtered left and right by military response. Ingame a single marine or blackwatch special forces soldier would taken a dozen zombies before being overwhelmed. And they had tanks and helicopter gunships conducting literal genocide on anything they thought was infected. The real threat was the Zerg like bio monsters that later evolved from the Zombies. As for the protagonist he is not Mr Katana man. He is the most wanked out biotech abomination I have seen in fiction. There is good reason why he can devastate military and infected alike with ease and ultimately plays a role in deciding the fate of zombie infested New York.

Yeah, those hunters were insanely powerful and durable. Anything made of meat that can take a tank shell and stand up again is just in WTFery territory. And it was great to see military forces actually being halfway competent for once - they were just outmatched so brutally in terms of power that in the long run it didn't matter.

[IvanTih]

This is my first post(I've lurked here for a 14 months) so don't be too hard on me.Is there a introduction board here?
I think that Star Trek has some bad tactics(ground and I find Picard manouver little weird).

[CaptHawkeye]

Uh, you clearly haven't lurked enough. Running into a thread and just saying "Yeah trek has bad tactics" is a useless one-liner post. It doesn't contribute anything to the thread except, well, your opinion. Which is, with respect, worthless.

You've got to have something useful to contribute to the thread. Now don't take that kind of advice as an excuse to post a huge, long winded essay that just re-iterates everything everyone has said, or is totally off the wall and made of hilarious fan fiction.

[Ghost Rider]

This is my first post(I've lurked here for a 14 months) so don't be too hard on me.Is there a introduction board here?

Not really, but we do have a thread for such.

I think that Star Trek has some bad tactics(ground and I find Picard manouver little weird).

While it has been noted, a better description of why would suit the post better as well as get an idea of your particulars.

[Star Wars 888]

Although this has been said before, Starship Troopers has some of the most absurd military tactics in sci fi history. I don't know what school their generals attended, but they sure don't know basic military tactics and any guy with a decent IQ would understand.

The humans would have won a long time ago if they simply bombarded the bugs from orbit, used tanks and artillery, or simply used those nuclear launchers. Why don't the soldiers equip those nuclear launchers when they're about to go into combat? Instead they spend time equipping them after they encounter a bunch of bugs, which takes several seconds to prepare. Or, most of the time that go charging in with assault rifles and get their asses kicked.

[Srelex]

Because as anyone with two brain cells to rub together could work out from watching the first thirty seconds of the movie, it's not supposed to be a serious representation of futuristic warfare. Seriously, you have to be literally retarded to think otherwise.

[Molyneux]

Because as anyone with two brain cells to rub together could work out from watching the first thirty seconds of the movie, it's not supposed to be a serious representation of futuristic warfare. Seriously, you have to be literally retarded to think otherwise.

It's quite possible to think that it is a horribly bungled attempt to do that...made by an inept director...who has never actually read the source material.

[Rye]

It's quite possible to think that it is a horribly bungled attempt to do that...made by an inept director...who has never actually read the source material.

Only if you don't actually watch the film and see all the blatant satire for what it is. Being that oblivious and uncomprehending really is stupid, even more so than the average American audience member. Now, I know Americans are rarely renowned for their satire, but that film is really clear, even if it's not quite a Hot Shots type of parody.

[Star Wars 888]

I thought that the movie Starship Troopers was a satire of facism, but that isn't really an explanation for the horrible military tactics shown.

[Srelex]

Not just; gung-ho militarism, jingoism, all that stuff. As for the retards who go on about how 'Verhoeven didn't read deh novel (which is shit)!11!"...he didn't actually write the script. As I believe the position of a director does not entail that.

[Molyneux]

Not just; gung-ho militarism, jingoism, all that stuff. As for the retards who go on about how 'Verhoeven didn't read deh novel (which is shit)!11!"...he didn't actually write the script. As I believe the position of a director does not entail that.

I don't believe the script-writer read the book, either. Best I've heard is that it was a completely different project that had the book's title tacked on.

And satire or straight film - it's crap as far as I'm concerned, either way. Pardon me for thinking it was just a shit film when I saw it at thirteen years old or so, and not watching with a critic's eye.

[MKSheppard]

But Dude, please get a life. You have insulted me, and a good friend of mine whom you've never met, and never will meet in person.

So fucking what?

If you are going to insult someone for being stupid, first you supply proof, then you slam it home with something better than "sucked dick"

Actually, I did provide more fucking proof, you fucking hatfucker.

This is what you so kindly snipped out:

Here's a hint -- cluster bombs are very efficient fragmentation weapons -- we're talking limbs mangled, chopped off; having your head opened up etc by very hot fragments that act as very efficient cutting implements.

Considering that Brooksverse zombies die from being hit in the head; does it matter if we hit them in the head with a 7.62 round or by having their skull opened up by a fragment from a cluster bomb?

Lets not even get into the whole artillery and tanks completely ineffective versus zombie hordes; since they offer completely protected fighting positions against a zombie threat -- if you're in danger of being overrun by zombies, place the Mk 1 Mod 0 locking bar on your hatches (to augment the already built in hatch locking systems); and keep driving towards the rendevous point.

If your tank breaks down from all the dead zombies getting stuck in your treads causing you to throw a track; no problem; you can just wait until rescue -- it's not like the zombies are going to get into your tank.

HEY LOOK. FUCKING PROOF WHY YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID.

You need to edit you insult library before it gets you in trouble; should you ever leave your moms basement and enter the real world.

I'm sorry my insult library is not up to your exacting standards. See if I fucking care. You can have a fucking lot of fun with just the word "fuck" applied in inventive ways. Like Hatfucker.

Despite being a "Moron" I seem to get along well with people. (snip)

So fucking what? You know a bunch of shallow hollywood fuckheads. Big Whoop. I'm so impressed.

I know people at the National Archives, the U.S. Naval Historical Command, the U.S. Air Force Museum Archives, various book authors etc.

Your fucking mary sue fan fiction sucks ass.

Hun? UPF?

Actually, UPF was a result of asking several questions about Star Trek.

1.) Why the fuck is everyone permanently happy and/or so stupid? (This can be seen on Voyager the most). ANSWER: The Federation secretly feeds happy pills into the replicated food mix.

2.) What are the characters really doing in between the takes of the show?

Which one of them is a peeping tom?

That kind of stuff. You figure that Bashir was doing a smashing business in giving Quark illegal access to the medical replicator in his office to pump out Schedule I Drugs in exchange for Quark putting all of Bashir and O'Brien's stupid holo-recreation dramas on the house.

2.) What would someone who was competent (or semi competent) be? How much of a bloody swathe would they be able to carve through the Trek universe?

3.) As for the Mary sue part; it was because of a long tradition on ASVS; the usenet forum that this board grew from, of doing self inserts in fanfiction.

Serious? Hell no; but I had fun writing it. Particularly when I wrote someone's death by liposuction, implied that Picard was stabbed by those Nausicans because he had stiffed them on pornography, etc among others.

It's not something I'd try to pass off as high class fiction, unlike your so-called "technical advice" on WWZ.

[MKSheppard]

Or any scenario which basically doesn't make the zombies anything less then GOD will ultimately fail.

I've recently been reading the Day by Day Armageddon series by J.L. Bourne.

It's an okay series -- because it opens in ZOMBIEPOCALYPSELAND, and does not try to explain *too* much about how the world got to this state, and large parts of the series have it being one man trying to make his way across a zombiefied America.

Where World War Z failed utterly was that it showed us how the world got to that state of "gone to fucking hell" -- and it was so cliched and basically required everyone in the world's militaries to take massive stupid pills and then huff gasoline fumes.

For any Zombiepocalypse to successfully occur; the following factors REALLY REALLY help:

1.) Whatever causes people to turn into zombies must not occur within 24 hours; and it must not be 100% reliable.

With a 100% turn rate and infected people turning in a time range of a few hours to a day...there is no way you would be able to have Zombies take over even the most rudimentary outpost; since anyone who was bit would show right away and would be killed immediately.

If there's a 75% chance of survival from a zombie bite; and infection takes several days to a week before they turn to a slavering zombie; this means people will be more reluctant to kill family members, friends, confidantes etc, than with a 100% turn rate. Plus, a time lag that long means they can get into a secure area.

2.) Non-Human Mammalian Zombies. You can deal with all the human zombies easily. But what about the fucking rats or mice who live in your walls?

3.) Semi-Smart Zombies. I'm not asking for total intelligence here; just something about as bright as a dumb monkey. They can figure out after much trial and error how to open an unlocked cage, and climb shit. This means you can't just lock a door or retreat to a roof for absolute safety. Also, a subsection of this is 'fast zombies'. Of course; fast zombies and smart zombies would be those infected corpses that are only a couple days to a week old. A month old corpse would be like the classical stupid zombie.

[Molyneux]

2.) Non-Human Mammalian Zombies. You can deal with all the human zombies easily. But what about the fucking rats or mice who live in your walls.

I'll second this. The scariest thing for me about Resident Evil was always the question of how to contain it - sure, they can nuke the town and blow up all the human zombies, but what about the infected birds and wildlife? You're gonna stop them from spreading to other towns how, exactly?

[SAMAS]

I thought Nuking was their method for getting the infected wildlife?

On a related note, I think, at least at the beginning, there would have to be a deliberate introduction or spread of the initial Zombie vector.

[Swindle1984]

Don't most zombie apocalypse scenarios feature a populace that has no idea what zombies are or how they work? I can see a scenario starting out where a couple people turn into zombies from bites before anyone takes official notice of it. Then the "sick" people are hospitalized for examination, rather than shot in the head and cremated, and either one gets loose and bites a few people, or the zombie plague is also airborne or whatever. Crazy homeless people start attacking and biting folks, infecting them, people don't say anything about getting bitten and/or nobody suspects that they'll turn into zombies and bam, they turn into zombies and attack their families/co-workers and infect a bunch of them.

I think several zombie apocalypse universes have it where anyone who dies for any reason turns into a zombie. Or you can become infected with the zombie virus (or whatever) but remain perfectly healthy; all infection means is that you'll turn into a zombie when you die.

If nobody knows the rules for a zombie apocalypse, you can see why it would get out of hand while people are figuring out what the problem is in the first place, much less how to resolve it permanently. Still, zombies should be easy to deal with well before the situation reaches apocalyptic levels.

[MKSheppard]

Don't most zombie apocalypse scenarios feature a populace that has no idea what zombies are or how they work?

The problem with that is...governments have the means to massively disseminate information.

For example, the USAF alone has the EC-130 COMMANDO SOLO. It can broadcast on the standard AM, FM, HF, TV and military communications bands.

Shortly after the Haiti Earthquake, a EC-130 was orbiting Haiti broadcasting stuff like:

1.) Where earthquake victims can go for food and aid
2.) News from Voice of America
3.) Instructions on hygiene procedures to prevent disease

So imagine that in a Zombie world -- broadcasting the information if all else fails via airborne broadcast planes, or simply seizing the airwaves to use the Emergency Broadcast System to distribute information like:

"Spread by blah blah, shoot them in head, blah blah"

[Zor]

1.) Whatever causes people to turn into zombies must not occur within 24 hours; and it must not be 100% reliable.

With a 100% turn rate and infected people turning in a time range of a few hours to a day...there is no way you would be able to have Zombies take over even the most rudimentary outpost; since anyone who was bit would show right away and would be killed immediately.

One thing about this scenario is that you could have a horribly macarbe scene of Zombitius infected people tied down in a room for weeks as people check to see if they are immune or not, with armed men patrolling and observing them as one by one those that would Zombified die and start moaning, only to be put down commissar style. It would be a horrible, horrifying experience for the poor bastards stuck in this scenario, combining the Dread of the fact that they most likely would be zombified, combined with having Zombies nearby and the fact that this is most likely a more ethical thing to do than simply "S/he was bitten, lets be safe and shoot them all right now".

Zor

[Molyneux]

The best zombie-genre things I've seen in recent years generally don't rely on basic zombies - not if they want them to remain a credible threat. Look at Left 4 Dead for a good example - especially since the plague in that appears to be airborne.

[kouchpotato]

The weirdest thing about most zombie films is how the people seem to have never seen a fucking zombie movie. Most people know what a zombie is, even if they're not fans of the genre, and would know how to deal with one.