Cullenism. Seriously

OT: anything goes!

Moderator: Edi

lord Martiya
Jedi Master
Posts: 1126
Joined: 2007-08-29 11:52am

Cullenism. Seriously

Post by lord Martiya »

When I read it, I couldn't believe to my eyes.
link
The Examiner wrote:How far is too far in our Twilight series fandom? With newspapers gaggling over film stars Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson's choice of wardrobe and hairstyle on a near-daily basis, a readership of Stephenie Meyer's hit series that has reached over 30 million, the film reaching the number one spot for the year (see here), and children running around biting other children in the name of Twilight (supposedly - see here), we have to step back and wonder, when is our fandom getting to be too much?

Pillow Biters, one my favorite Twilight blogs, is reporting that the so-called Cullenist religion might be going "overboard to a realm that would make Mormon mom Stephenie Meyer cringe."

Cullenism, as a term, stems from the name of the wildly popular characters Edward Cullen (played by Robert Pattinson in the film adaptation) and his family (Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Emmett), fictional vampires from the series, who come into and change the life (pun) of one Bella Swan (portrayed by Kristen Stewart in the film), whose narration of the story takes us through a very suspenseful and winding few thousand pages at the edge of our seats. I love Twilight just as much as the next person, but is it possible for the devotion to have gotten out of hand on this one?

These Cullenists believe "[j]ust like any other religion," that there is some spirituality to be had in the Twilight series, forming rules and principles upon which to base their tenets. Their creed, say the Cullenists, includes a base set of beliefs that "Edward and the rest of the Twilight characters are real," that "[t]he Twilight series should be worshipped," and that "f you are good in life, you will be bless[ed] with eternity with the Cullens." Other than that, say the Cullenists, there "is not a limit to what you can believe in when it comes to the Cullenism religion . . . we will accept any other Cullenism beliefs you may have." Cullenists are also expected to read some of the books on a daily basis, "like the Bible" and make a pilgrimage to Forks.

While religion and spirituality are a first-hand and very personal experience, and others who formulate their own principles and guidance to help them maneuver through and stay afloat in this challenging, frustrating, and sometimes depressing thing we call life are often praised for their individualism and bravery, the Cullenists might be stretching it a little.

It is one thing, in our fandom of the series, the film, its cast, etcetera, to spend inordinate amount of time, say the fans, on reading, re-reading, discussing, and watching things about the series, but it is a whole other to devote the core of one's faith to a set of fictional books and films, don't you think?


Please tell me it's a joke.
User avatar
GrandMasterTerwynn
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 6787
Joined: 2002-07-29 06:14pm
Location: Somewhere on Earth.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by GrandMasterTerwynn »

It's probably about as serious as people who refer to themselves as "Jedi" or "Haruhiists."

<second line goes here>
User avatar
Temujin
Jedi Master
Posts: 1300
Joined: 2010-03-28 07:08pm
Location: Occupying Wall Street (In Spirit)

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Temujin »

I don't know, people get pretty fucking weird when it comes to religious shit. It wouldn't surprise me if they were truly trying to tie some elements from the fictional material* into some quasi-spiritual/religious thing; kinda like how some Matrix wankers tried to do for philosophical ideas. Besides, hardcore Twilight fans aren't exactly known for their intelligence.

Being Meyer is a moron Mormon, can anyone who read/saw this shit attest to whether she incorporated any of her own religion's overtones into it?
Image
Mr. Harley: Your impatience is quite understandable.
Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.
Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I'm very sorry... I wish it were otherwise.

"I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe.
If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other." – Frankenstein's Creature on the glacier[/size]
User avatar
Soontir C'boath
SG-14: Fuck the Medic!
Posts: 6843
Joined: 2002-07-06 12:15am
Location: Queens, NYC I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF MANHATTEN IS CONSIDERED NYC!! I'M IN IT ASSHOLE!!!
Contact:

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Soontir C'boath »

I would not find this surprising if this is the case since we already have something like it already; L. Ron Hubbard's crap.
I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season."
User avatar
CaptHawkeye
Sith Devotee
Posts: 2939
Joined: 2007-03-04 06:52pm
Location: Korea.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by CaptHawkeye »

It turns out people are insecure and need to gravitate towards a perceived space where they can be welcome?
Best care anywhere.
User avatar
Solauren
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 10330
Joined: 2003-05-11 09:41pm

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Solauren »

Cullenism eh? Do we count this as a even-more-stupid-then-normal branch of Mormonism?
I've been asked why I still follow a few of the people I know on Facebook with 'interesting political habits and view points'.

It's so when they comment on or approve of something, I know what pages to block/what not to vote for.
User avatar
PeZook
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 13237
Joined: 2002-07-18 06:08pm
Location: Poland

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by PeZook »

You couldn't believe your eyes? In a world where Scientology is a church and people engage in "gorean relationships", you consider this somehow...shocking?

Really?
Image
JULY 20TH 1969 - The day the entire world was looking up

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.
- NEIL ARMSTRONG, MISSION COMMANDER, APOLLO 11

Signature dedicated to the greatest achievement of mankind.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not mind BREAKING the SOUND BARRIER, because it is INSURED. - Simon_Jester considering the problems of hypersonic flight for Team L.A.M.E.
User avatar
Siege
Sith Marauder
Posts: 4108
Joined: 2004-12-11 12:35pm

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Siege »

Sounds like pretty much exactly the kind of thing I'd expect teenage girls with slightly overactive imaginations to make up...
Image
SDN World 2: The North Frequesuan Trust
SDN World 3: The Sultanate of Egypt
SDN World 4: The United Solarian Sovereignty
SDN World 5: San Dorado
There'll be a bodycount, we're gonna watch it rise
The folks at CNN, they won't believe their eyes
User avatar
General Zod
Never Shuts Up
Posts: 29211
Joined: 2003-11-18 03:08pm
Location: The Clearance Rack
Contact:

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by General Zod »

Siege wrote:Sounds like pretty much exactly the kind of thing I'd expect teenage girls with slightly overactive imaginations to make up...
Sounds like another form of otherkin to me.
"It's you Americans. There's something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we'd be romping around naked on the stage here."
Crazedwraith
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 11937
Joined: 2003-04-10 03:45pm
Location: Cheshire, England

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Crazedwraith »

I was hoping this was the belief that trucks will one day transform into giant robots that will save us from our sins.

Also the truth, as ever, is less exciting.
User avatar
OmegaChief
Jedi Knight
Posts: 904
Joined: 2009-07-22 11:37am
Location: Rainy Suburb, Northern England
Contact:

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by OmegaChief »

Crazedwraith wrote:I was hoping this was the belief that trucks will one day transform into giant robots that will save us from our sins.

Also the truth, as ever, is less exciting.
Will die to save us from our sins.

Multiple times.

Can't forget that part.
This odyssey, this, exodus. Do we journey toward the promised land, or into the valley of the kings? Three decades ago I envisioned a new future for our species, and now that we are on the brink of realizing my dream, I feel only solitude, and regret. Has my entire life's work been a fool's crusade? Have I led my people into this desert, only to die?
-Admiral Aken Bosch, Supreme Commander of the Neo-Terran Front, NTF Iceni, 2367
User avatar
DPDarkPrimus
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 18399
Joined: 2002-11-22 11:02pm
Location: Iowa
Contact:

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by DPDarkPrimus »

I... I thought this was going to be about worshiping the man who plays Optimus Prime...
Mayabird is my girlfriend
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest
"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
lord Martiya
Jedi Master
Posts: 1126
Joined: 2007-08-29 11:52am

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by lord Martiya »

PeZook wrote:You couldn't believe your eyes? In a world where Scientology is a church and people engage in "gorean relationships", you consider this somehow...shocking?

Really?
Well, on the surface Scientology doesn't look that bad (at least when you don't know what they are. And given Scientology little fame in Italy, I was positively shocked when I found out what the nice-looking guys with Dianetics on the shirt believed into), these guys worship Pedodog and a stalking pseudo-vampire that make Angel of BTVS look cheerful. Hell, even MEGATRON would be a better choice for worship! If nothing else, he's not a stalker, tends to leave human alone when we don't have anything he wants and looks cool...
User avatar
Maj
Youngling
Posts: 75
Joined: 2010-08-26 12:08am
Location: Olympia, WA, USA

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Maj »

Temujin wrote:Being Meyer is a moron Mormon, can anyone who read/saw this shit attest to whether she incorporated any of her own religion's overtones into it?
I've only read the first novel (hated it) and done a little research into the rest, but from what I read, there's not much Mormonism directly in the books.

Some ideas that Mormons strongly value play a starring role, but they're not ideas necessarily unique to Mormons: the value of sacrifice, chastity, and free agency (everyone chooses and is responsible for their own actions).
User avatar
Oni Koneko Damien
Sith Marauder
Posts: 3852
Joined: 2004-03-10 07:23pm
Location: Yar Yar Hump Hump!
Contact:

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Oni Koneko Damien »

Maj wrote:I've only read the first novel (hated it) and done a little research into the rest, but from what I read, there's not much Mormonism directly in the books.

Some ideas that Mormons strongly value play a starring role, but they're not ideas necessarily unique to Mormons: the value of sacrifice, chastity, and free agency (everyone chooses and is responsible for their own actions).
You read wrong. The books are entirely soaked in not-so-subtly masked Mormon propaganda, Edward Cullen's description nearly perfectly matches Joseph Smith, and their entire relationship progresses along perfect Mormon lines.

This is an in-depth look at the heavy Mormon influence in the books, written by an ex-member of the LDS church.
Gaian Paradigm: Because not all fantasy has to be childish crap.
Ephemeral Pie: Because not all role-playing has to be shallow.
My art: Because not all DA users are talentless emo twits.
"Phant, quit abusing the He-Wench before he turns you into a caged bitch at a Ren Fair and lets the tourists toss half munched turkey legs at your backside." -Mr. Coffee
User avatar
Maj
Youngling
Posts: 75
Joined: 2010-08-26 12:08am
Location: Olympia, WA, USA

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Maj »

Oni Koneko Damien wrote:You read wrong. The books are entirely soaked in not-so-subtly masked Mormon propaganda, Edward Cullen's description nearly perfectly matches Joseph Smith, and their entire relationship progresses along perfect Mormon lines.

This is an in-depth look at the heavy Mormon influence in the books, written by an ex-member of the LDS church.
Actually, I've already read that. And actually, I'm also an inactive member of the Mormon church.

And here are some problems I have with that link:
stoney321 wrote:he was handsome, shockingly so, he could draw you in with just his presence, let alone when he spoke, down to his freaking nose and hair color
Seriously? This describes just about every main man in every romance novel ever written. And Twilight may be complete garbage, but it's definitely a romance novel.

As for the physical description of Joe, he was blond, not bronze/copper haired. His eyes were green, not brown. And as far as anyone knows, Joseph Smith didn't sparkle. But I may be wrong on that point.
stoney321 wrote:Edward is pure white
This is pretty common in vampire [romance] literature. Attributing it to Mormonism is retarded.
stoney321 wrote:Edward also doesn't believe in open mouth kissing, swearing, chewing tobacco, drinking caffeine, and enjoys time with his family.
I mentioned chastity already. Chewing tobacco is disgusting, and while I'm sure that there are romance novels out there that have it as part of the story, most women don't want to imagine kissing a guy who chews.

I'm willing to give stoney points for the swearing and caffeine, but I think the family thing is not only believable within the context of the book, but it's also not uncommon to other literature. Percy Jackson did everything for his Mom (and she was awesome right back), but to the best of my ability to discern, Rick Riorden isn't Mormon.
stoney321 wrote:now we can be a proper family for eternity
Again, that's a staple part of vampire romance literature (and there is a ton of that stuff out there).
stoney321 wrote:Perfection = a constant drum beat in the Mormon church. You aren't supposed to try to be perfect, you are supposed to be perfect... Everyone in Edward's family is: you guessed it, perfect. They all look like they stepped out of a catalog.
This is again, another hallmark of [vampire] romance literature. If the heroine isn't perfect, the romance tends to fall into the genre of the chick who's really hot but doesn't think so and is infuriatingly annoying because there is no real reason for the guy to be in love with her at all.

In fact, I just picked up a book called A Girl's Guide to Vampires that is a perfect example of this. It sucked, too.

There is a lot to dislike about Twilight, but the analogies being made to the church are as related as the color comparison between my sister's hair and a wooden chair. So they're the same color - does that mean my sister is a walking advertisement for birch?
User avatar
Zor
Sith Acolyte
Posts: 5928
Joined: 2004-06-08 03:37am

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Zor »

GrandMasterTerwynn wrote:It's probably about as serious as people who refer to themselves as "Jedi" or "Haruhiists."
Well, at least with those cases you have it based around a Fictional Religious order and a Godess where this is around a distinctly non divine being. Yes, its nitpicking but it does make it a bit weirder.

Zor
HAIL ZOR! WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!
Heros of Cybertron-HAB-Keeper of the Vicious pit of Allosauruses-King Leighton-I, United Kingdom of Zoria: SD.net World/Tsar Mikhail-I of the Red Tsardom: SD.net Kingdoms
WHEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ON EARTH, ALL EARTH BREAKS LOOSE ON HELL
Terran Sphere
The Art of Zor
User avatar
Broomstick
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 28822
Joined: 2004-01-02 07:04pm
Location: Industrial armpit of the US Midwest

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Broomstick »

Temujin wrote:I don't know, people get pretty fucking weird when it comes to religious shit. It wouldn't surprise me if they were truly trying to tie some elements from the fictional material* into some quasi-spiritual/religious thing; kinda like how some Matrix wankers tried to do for philosophical ideas. Besides, hardcore Twilight fans aren't exactly known for their intelligence.

Being Meyer is a moron Mormon, can anyone who read/saw this shit attest to whether she incorporated any of her own religion's overtones into it?
WelI, I'm not an expert on such things, but from what I could stand to read (really, the series makes me puke) there's about as much overt Mormonism in it as, say, the works of Orson Scott Card or the original Battlestar Galactica. The influence is there, but if you're not a Mormon or not familiar with Mormonism you'll most likely miss it.

Critical thinkers aren't going to care that much for Twilight (though I'm sure there are some exceptions) which means the majority of the fanbase are over-hormonal romantic women, predominately young enough to have little real-world experience.
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. Leonard Nimoy.

Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy

Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice
User avatar
Night_stalker
Retarded Spambot
Posts: 995
Joined: 2009-11-28 03:51pm
Location: Bedford, NH

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Night_stalker »

Wait, people actually want to WORSHIP Edward Cullen? The same guy whose idea of love is stalking, more or less? The same guy who is about 109 years old, and wants to marry a girl barely out of high school? WTF is attractive about that?
If Dr. Gatling was a nerd, then his most famous invention is the fucking Revenge of the Nerd, writ large...

"Lawful stupid is the paladin that charges into hell because he knows there's evil there."
—anonymous

"Although you may win the occasional battle against us, Vorrik, the Empire will always strike back."
User avatar
Broomstick
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 28822
Joined: 2004-01-02 07:04pm
Location: Industrial armpit of the US Midwest

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Broomstick »

For some sheltered young girls having a strong, indestructible, wise protector is very appealing. Basically they want Daddy. But a Daddy who isn't really their daddy so it's OK to fuck him, too.

I mean, where do you think the term "sugar daddy" for an older man fucking a much younger woman and lavishing gifts on her comes from?
Last edited by Broomstick on 2010-09-05 09:56pm, edited 1 time in total.
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. Leonard Nimoy.

Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy

Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice
User avatar
hongi
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1952
Joined: 2006-10-15 02:14am
Location: Sydney

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by hongi »

If nothing else, this new religion will provide the killer riposte: the Cullens must be culled.
User avatar
Mr. Coffee
is an asshole.
Posts: 3258
Joined: 2005-02-26 07:45am
Location: And banging your mom is half the battle... G.I. Joe!

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Mr. Coffee »

When you figure mainstream Christianity thinks Jesus was a pasty white dude that kept telling people to drink his blood it actually makes sense sorta.
Image
Goddammit, now I'm forced to say in public that I agree with Mr. Coffee. - Mike Wong
I never would have thought I would wholeheartedly agree with Coffee... - fgalkin x2
Honestly, this board is so fucking stupid at times. - Thanas
GALE ForceCarwash: Oh, I'll wax that shit, bitch...
User avatar
Mr. Coffee
is an asshole.
Posts: 3258
Joined: 2005-02-26 07:45am
Location: And banging your mom is half the battle... G.I. Joe!

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Post by Mr. Coffee »

Stark wrote:What's sad is I thought this thread would be about a religion based on Optimus Prime.
Optimus Christ died for your sins, heathen.
Image
Goddammit, now I'm forced to say in public that I agree with Mr. Coffee. - Mike Wong
I never would have thought I would wholeheartedly agree with Coffee... - fgalkin x2
Honestly, this board is so fucking stupid at times. - Thanas
GALE ForceCarwash: Oh, I'll wax that shit, bitch...
Post Reply