Breaking news: BP oil well finally dead

[Surlethe]

Breaking from WSJ:

BREAKING NEWS
Blown-out BP oil well at bottom of Gulf of Mexico declared dead 5 months after disaster began

Now we can focus on the cleanup.

[Raw Shark]

Avast, me hearties! It's a Talk Like A Pirate Day Miracle!

[Broomstick]

Ding, dong, the well is dead!
Which old well? The gushing well!'
Ding, dong, the well is dead!
Wake up, sleepyhead,
Rub your eyes, get out of bed
Wake up the wicked well is dead
It's sealed up where the goblins go
Below - below - below -!
Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
The gushing well is dead!

[Mayor] - As Mayor of the N'Orlans City, In the Parish of the same name, I welcome you most regally.
[Barrister] - But we've got to verify it legally, to wit
[Mayor] - To wit?
[Barrister] - If it
[Mayor ] - If it?
[Barrister] - Is morally, ethic'lly
[Father #1] - Spiritually, physically
[Father #2] - Positively, absolutely
[All] - Undeniably and reliably Dead

[Coroner] - As Coroner I must swear it, I thoroughly examined it.
And it's not only merely dead, it's really most sincerely dead!

[Mayor] - Then this is a day of Independence For all the Cajuns and their descendants
[Barrister] -If any.
[Mayor] - Yes, let the joyous news be spread The wicked old well at last is dead!

[JME2]

Nice parody.

Still, this is a giant cluster fuck that will be felt for years to come.

[Broomstick]

Yes, but if there is one thing I have learned, and learned again - when things are bad you must celebrate what little progress and good there is.

Before anything else could be made right that well had to die. Now we can go forward from here.

[The Yosemite Bear]

now did anyone make sure to stab a stake through it's heart to make sure it stays dead?

or do we let BP revive with substandard materials yet again....

[bobalot]

Thank god we can look to more deregulation to stop another disaster like this happening. It will force companies to be more careful because the thought of the fallout from such a disaster will overcome irrational short term cost cutting.

No CEO would dare put their company at such a risk for mere multi-million dollar bonuses and rational investors would never look the other way as long as they get their dividends. Even if a disaster did happen and cause billions of dollars of economic damage, immeasurable ecological damage and untold human misery, their company would go broke... proving the free market works! Of course, that's the only thing that matters.

Let us all give three hearty cheers for enlighten self-interest!