Home Alone with Michal Myers

[lance]

Instead of the Sticky Bandits young Kevin McCallister has to repel from his house the unspeaking monster that has escaped death/mental institution yet again. How does he fair? Does he take Michael down or does he become just another victim?

[LadyTevar]

Moved to Appropriate Forum

[Enigma]

I'd say that the most appropriate forum would be Testing but I digress.

As for the OP, you can't be serious right? In what way other than planting a nuke in the house and hightailing it to the next state, is Kevin going to win?

[Majin Gojira]

Michael Meyers isn't Jason Voorhees--no matter how hard later films try to make him that.

[Enigma]

Michael Meyers isn't Jason Voorhees--no matter how hard later films try to make him that.

Except in this scenario, how is Kevin going to be able to defeat him? He won't plain and simple.

Why not change the scenario to Kevin versus Chucky? At least in this one Kevin has a chance.

[Majin Gojira]

Michael lacks cartoon physics, therefore:

The heated doorknob is one trap that can injure Michael in the long term.

The Iced entryways and other slip-traps can break bones.

One entrance is rigged with a flamethrower. Which, on Meyers, would strike him in the face and chest.

Those are honestly the only extremely dangerous traps (the paint cans just don't have the punch, and the nail is only debilitating).

But he can't take him down. Not even with the traps from the sequel, nor his BB Gun. And the Tarantula won't help either.

He can conceivably escape, but not take him down.

The third film, though, sicks a lawnmower on one poor sap's face. That could kill Meyers (though it only gives the thief there a haircut--because, again, cartoon physics).

But that wasn't Kevin, and the movie was crap.

[Mayabird]

I am highly tempted to Testify this thread now but I'll wait to see if anything substantial actually comes of this.

How does he fair?

It's FARE. "Fair" means "pretty" or "without favoritism."

[Enigma]

Michael lacks cartoon physics, therefore:

The heated doorknob is one trap that can injure Michael in the long term.

The Iced entryways and other slip-traps can break bones.

One entrance is rigged with a flamethrower. Which, on Meyers, would strike him in the face and chest.

Those are honestly the only extremely dangerous traps (the paint cans just don't have the punch, and the nail is only debilitating).

But he can't take him down. Not even with the traps from the sequel, nor his BB Gun. And the Tarantula won't help either.

He can conceivably escape, but not take him down.

The third film, though, sicks a lawnmower on one poor sap's face. That could kill Meyers (though it only gives the thief there a haircut--because, again, cartoon physics).

But that wasn't Kevin, and the movie was crap.

Except while he's prepping the house, he gets the feeling that someone is in the same room as he is and turns around only to face Mikey. Yeah baby! Yeah!

[PhilosopherOfSorts]

Those are honestly the only extremely dangerous traps (the paint cans just don't have the punch, and the nail is only debilitating).

It's been a long time since I've seen Home Alone, so I don't remember, were those paint cans full or not? I ask because an empty paint can on a rope like that is an annoyance, but a full one could be lethal.

[Darth Fanboy]

Austin Powers Mike Meyers dominates with JUDO CHOP.

[Majin Gojira]

Those are honestly the only extremely dangerous traps (the paint cans just don't have the punch, and the nail is only debilitating).

It's been a long time since I've seen Home Alone, so I don't remember, were those paint cans full or not? I ask because an empty paint can on a rope like that is an annoyance, but a full one could be lethal.

Given they knocked grown men down and off the stairs, I'd say full (but given they had paint on the side, I'd say only partly).

[Solauren]

Questions
#1 - Does Kevin know it's an escaped mental patient/serial killer, and not some idiot robbers he needs to delay until the cops arrive?
#2 - Is Kevin willing to go all out and try to kill with his traps?

Because in those scenarios, I can think of several traps he could create and have a decent chance of holding off, if not stopping, Mr. Myers. All are close to traps he used in the 1st movie.

Nothing says 'Fuck you' like having gasoline or something flamable dumped on you before the flame thrower is activated

Nothing says 'Fuck you' like the stairs being covered in boarded with nails in them (nailed to the floor), followed by full cans of pain, or worse yet, more heavy nails with boards on them.

Nothing says 'Fuck you' like having a Bowling ball dropped on your head.

And most importantly -

Nothing says 'Fuck you', like knowing it's a mental patient, and getting on your bike and getting the hell out of dodge.
Mind you, if he does that, his family is in for a horrible time when they get home the next day.

[lance]

Questions
#1 - Does Kevin know it's an escaped mental patient/serial killer, and not some idiot robbers he needs to delay until the cops arrive?

How about Michael kills the bandits right before they enter the house.

#2 - Is Kevin willing to go all out and try to kill with his traps?

Yes, but has lets say 10 minutes to overcome shock and to add things to his previous traps.

[DudeGuyMan]

I recall a point in Home Alone where the kid throws a brick either off the roof or out of a second story window, hitting one of the bandits squarely atop the head. Thanks to cartoon physics the guy was merely knocked out briefly, but without those physics that alone would have surely been a deathblow.

This is actually competetive. The kid unloaded enough on those guys to easily kill a real human being several times over.

[Solauren]

Yup, without Cartoon Physics, Kevin would have killed the Wet Bandits.

If it's just a Myer's replacement and removal of Cartoon physics, Kevin ends up getting a medal for offing Myers.

[Lagmonster]

I can't believe I'm getting involved in this, but isn't Myers more or less a non-supernatural version of Jason Voorhees' teleporting bullet-sponging juggernaut?

[DudeGuyMan]

I dunno, what kind of punishment has Myers been observed to withstand?

[Mr Bean]

I can't believe I'm getting involved in this, but isn't Myers more or less a non-supernatural version of Jason Voorhees' teleporting bullet-sponging juggernaut?

No he goes down quickly when hurt. The difference is he gets back up. For example after being shot several times with a snub nosed .38 pistol he went down but limped away a minute or two later. Second movie he suffered shrapnel and burns and went down again. He's been shot, suffered falling damage and been stabbed. Only one time was he "killed" by decapitation and the next movie said he never got his head nicked off.

What Michael Myers is is quick and quiet despite being so large. A murderous NFL linebacker if you will. Also when he is hurt he goes down fast. Unlike Jason if he takes a shotgun to the chest or even a single bullet he goes down and limps away. Jason gets stabbed, keeps coming and kills the bastard who cut him. Myers goes down plays dead then either kills them or runs away for a time. He's never been "killed" killed as in had a two foot hole in his chest but was just fine two minutes later.


Most Michael Myers movies are him running around murdering and the movie ends the first time he gets hit.

*Edit full list of damage

Movie 1: Shot several times by .38 revolver, limped away
Movie 2: Burnes and shrapnel from explosion, Was walking around on fire , spent several years in hospital care
Movie 4: Falling, multiple bones broken, nursed back to heath over two year period
Movie 5: Shot, goes down, escapes police custody
Movie 6: Takes a few hits, kills his target and walks away
Movie 7: Hit several times with blunt objects: escapes
Movie 8: Burned while escaping garage on fire: escapes

Rob Zombie
Movie 1: Shot once, goes down, escapes
Movie 2: Stabbed to death, only "death" death that is an actual death, multiple face/chest wounds

[Molyneux]

I can't believe I'm getting involved in this, but isn't Myers more or less a non-supernatural version of Jason Voorhees' teleporting bullet-sponging juggernaut?

No he goes down quickly when hurt. The difference is he gets back up. For example after being shot several times with a snub nosed .38 pistol he went down but limped away a minute or two later. Second movie he suffered shrapnel and burns and went down again. He's been shot, suffered falling damage and been stabbed. Only one time was he "killed" by decapitation and the next movie said he never got his head nicked off.

What Michael Myers is is quick and quiet despite being so large. A murderous NFL linebacker if you will. Also when he is hurt he goes down fast. Unlike Jason if he takes a shotgun to the chest or even a single bullet he goes down and limps away. Jason gets stabbed, keeps coming and kills the bastard who cut him. Myers goes down plays dead then either kills them or runs away for a time. He's never been "killed" killed as in had a two foot hole in his chest but was just fine two minutes later.


Most Michael Myers movies are him running around murdering and the movie ends the first time he gets hit.

*Edit full list of damage

Movie 1: Shot several times by .38 revolver, limped away
Movie 2: Burnes and shrapnel from explosion, Was walking around on fire , spent several years in hospital care
Movie 4: Falling, multiple bones broken, nursed back to heath over two year period
Movie 5: Shot, goes down, escapes police custody
Movie 6: Takes a few hits, kills his target and walks away
Movie 7: Hit several times with blunt objects: escapes
Movie 8: Burned while escaping garage on fire: escapes

Rob Zombie
Movie 1: Shot once, goes down, escapes
Movie 2: Stabbed to death, only "death" death that is an actual death, multiple face/chest wounds

Captain Kirk seems to specialize, based on the first movie, in being the single most damage-prone villain I've ever seen. Just from my recall, he winds up taking several a screwdriver in the neck and a coathanger to the eye before that .38 sendoff - each one sends him down, and apparently out, long enough for Jamie Lee Curtis to get to a safe distance. If she had had the presence of mind to keep stabbing him, the movie would have been over damn quick.

I give this one to Kevin, plain and simple. Those traps are often difficult to avoid, easily lethal or at least disabling on a full-grown adult human, and barring bad-movie-writing bullshit like teleporting past locked doors, Myers is nothing more than a big, tough idiot. The kid has him outsmarted and outgunned from the start.

[Zaune]

If I remember rightly, in the first film Kevin actually got caught by the two would-be burglars, but by that time a neighbour had finally noticed what was going on and intervened before they could do him harm. And by the sound of it, being cold-cocked with a snow shovel ought to put Michael Myers down quite effectively.

[SylasGaunt]

He was caught because Cartoon Physics applies. A few of those traps should have been disabling or potentially fatal.