Porn Rant. Warning: Very graphic

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-02-24 02:05pm

Ed Powers is another ugly guy in porn. I used to rent his movies cause I like the amatuer aspect, but I always fast foward through the beginning when he trys to talk to them.

I dont like the professional porn that is out anymore, the women all look to fake. I guess thats why I like the amatuer stuff. Ive also noticed now that most of the men shave their pubs now.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-02-24 02:06pm

Durran Korr wrote:How do male porn stars not deplete their man-juice factor after shooting so many loads? Special diet, or abnormally huge balls?

Special diet probably high in protein, but even then there is only so much you can shoot...

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-02-24 02:07pm

Zaia wrote:That's why I think porn is positively hilarious. Does these lonely guys actually watch some scrawny, pimply dork as he nails 7 chicks in a public bathroom and think that can happen to them?! Do they think to themselve, "If he can combat his dorkiness and win slutty chicks, so can I! I'll get out there and find the whores of my dreams, right after I watch the end of this Star Trek marathon..."

Three words to that:

ROBERT

SCOTT

ANDERSON

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-02-24 02:11pm

IG-88E wrote:
Zaia wrote:That's why I think porn is positively hilarious. Does these lonely guys actually watch some scrawny, pimply dork as he nails 7 chicks in a public bathroom and think that can happen to them?! Do they think to themselve, "If he can combat his dorkiness and win slutty chicks, so can I! I'll get out there and find the whores of my dreams, right after I watch the end of this Star Trek marathon..."
Three words to that:

ROBERT

SCOTT

ANDERSON

Well, we do know he likes huge, gaping vaginas.

Baron Mordo · Post by **Baron Mordo** » 2003-02-24 02:12pm

Darth Wong wrote:That's no small prerequisite (no pun intended). The ability to keep it up for hours of shooting (again, no pun intended) while cameramen are walking around and directors are barking orders is not as common as one might think.

That's what fluffers are for.

Ted · Post by **Ted** » 2003-02-24 02:12pm

Durran Korr wrote:How do male porn stars not deplete their man-juice factor after shooting so many loads? Special diet, or abnormally huge balls?

Stunt cocks.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-02-24 02:12pm

Durran Korr wrote:
IG-88E wrote:
Zaia wrote:That's why I think porn is positively hilarious. Does these lonely guys actually watch some scrawny, pimply dork as he nails 7 chicks in a public bathroom and think that can happen to them?! Do they think to themselve, "If he can combat his dorkiness and win slutty chicks, so can I! I'll get out there and find the whores of my dreams, right after I watch the end of this Star Trek marathon..."
Three words to that:

ROBERT

SCOTT

ANDERSON

Well, we do know he likes huge, gaping vaginas.

Please, I've eaten this year.

Rubberanvil · Post by **Rubberanvil** » 2003-02-24 02:59pm

I also hate it when the cameramen trys to and often succeeds in giving the male porn actors (using the word very loosely) colon exam in half the close ups.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-02-24 03:05pm

Rubberanvil wrote:I also hate it when the cameramen trys to and often succeeds in giving the male porn actors (using the word very loosely) colon exam in half the close ups.

LMFAO! Ouch I hate that too. I wanna see the whole thing, not a nutsack slapping against a guy's ass or a girl's cunt for thirty seconds. LOL

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-02-24 03:14pm

RedImperator wrote:While we're on the subject about ranting about pornography, I'd like to get something off my chest. Namely, I can't stand it when two chicks "kiss" by sticking their tongues out and wrestling with them while looking at the camera. Goddammit, that's not how people suck face, and it's so fake looking it just ruins it for me (this is a bigger problem in still photopgraphy porn than video). They do the same thing when they're sucking each others' tits--do a half-assed lick while giving the camera a "come hither" look. Suck her fucking tit like I would--and don't look at me! The "lesbians" in those pics are usually always silicone bottle blondes, too, and they look like fucking Barbie dolls. Another thing I can't stand is when a chick is sucking some guy off with his dick half in her mouth so she can face the camera. Don't look at the fucking camera while you're blowing some guy, for chrissakes! You're breaking the fucking fourth wall and it's creepy as hell. You're fucking REMINDING me that I'm on the other side of a TV or computer screen, and that's a fuck-up no matter WHAT kind of fiction you're producing.

AGGGHH I FUCKING HATE THAT TOO! That's why I like amateur and homemade porn. All natural. No pointed reminders that there's a piece of glass and a couple weeks/years/decades between you and the action. No fake action, (usually) no fake body parts, no half-assed one-lick-while-the-guy's-blasting-his-load. I know I wouldn't be very happy if I got one or two licks while I was cumming. I'd want the guy or girl to either keep sucking or let me jack off and shoot on his-her chest or something. Oy....

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-02-24 03:15pm

IG-88E wrote:
Zaia wrote:That's why I think porn is positively hilarious. Does these lonely guys actually watch some scrawny, pimply dork as he nails 7 chicks in a public bathroom and think that can happen to them?! Do they think to themselve, "If he can combat his dorkiness and win slutty chicks, so can I! I'll get out there and find the whores of my dreams, right after I watch the end of this Star Trek marathon..."
Three words to that:

ROBERT

SCOTT

ANDERSON

EEEWWWWWWW!!!!

salm · Post by **salm** » 2003-02-24 03:26pm

RedImperator wrote:While we're on the subject about ranting about pornography, I'd like to get something off my chest. Namely, I can't stand it when two chicks "kiss" by sticking their tongues out and wrestling with them while looking at the camera. Goddammit, that's not how people suck face, and it's so fake looking it just ruins it for me (this is a bigger problem in still photopgraphy porn than video). They do the same thing when they're sucking each others' tits--do a half-assed lick while giving the camera a "come hither" look. Suck her fucking tit like I would--and don't look at me! The "lesbians" in those pics are usually always silicone bottle blondes, too, and they look like fucking Barbie dolls. Another thing I can't stand is when a chick is sucking some guy off with his dick half in her mouth so she can face the camera. Don't look at the fucking camera while you're blowing some guy, for chrissakes! You're breaking the fucking fourth wall and it's creepy as hell. You're fucking REMINDING me that I'm on the other side of a TV or computer screen, and that's a fuck-up no matter WHAT kind of fiction you're producing.

AGREEEEEEED!!! That´s just so fucking annoying!!!

Rubberanvil · Post by **Rubberanvil** » 2003-02-24 04:08pm

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote: LMFAO! Ouch I hate that too. I wanna see the whole thing, not a nutsack slapping against a guy's ass or a girl's cunt for thirty seconds. LOL

At least the camera was pointed at the action, I'm talking about where the camera is pointed at and only at the guy's starfish.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-02-24 04:12pm

Rubberanvil wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote: LMFAO! Ouch I hate that too. I wanna see the whole thing, not a nutsack slapping against a guy's ass or a girl's cunt for thirty seconds. LOL
At least the camera was pointed at the action, I'm talking about where the camera is pointed at and only at the guy's starfish.

Seen that. You sure it wasn't gay porn? LMAO I'd only expect close-ups of a guy's starfish on gay porn...

Starfish.... ROFL

Rubberanvil · Post by **Rubberanvil** » 2003-02-24 04:19pm

Seen that. You sure it wasn't gay porn?

The guys were fucking women before the close-ups, through I do think either the cameramen are gay, or they also film gayporn, and/or the directors and editors are trying (and failing) to give something to the lady viewers.

ArmorPierce · Post by **ArmorPierce** » 2003-02-24 04:31pm

Ewww, they actually PAY him for having sex? I would think that it would be the other way around....

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-02-24 04:40pm

Rubberanvil wrote:
Seen that. You sure it wasn't gay porn?
The guys were fucking women before the close-ups, through I do think either the cameramen are gay, or they also film gayporn, and/or the directors and editors are trying (and failing) to give something to the lady viewers.

Probly the last one. Ecchhh..

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-02-24 05:22pm

Mmmm, Ron Jeremy......what a sexy bit of man-flesh. Mmmmm....

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-02-24 05:23pm

Zaia wrote:Mmmm, Ron Jeremy......what a sexy bit of man-flesh. Mmmmm....

Heh.

(and in anticipation of all the "EWWW"s)

HAHAHAHA!

David · Post by **David** » 2003-02-24 05:58pm

Mmmm, Ron Jeremy......what a sexy bit of man-flesh. Mmmmm....

One more comment like that and I'll delete this thread. Oh I can feel my lunch comming up.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-02-24 06:06pm

Zaia wrote:Mmmm, Ron Jeremy......what a sexy bit of man-flesh. Mmmmm....

Even in pure jest......ugh

Sorta glad all my lunch consisted of was some soup.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-02-24 06:13pm

Try looking for anything with Peter North. He's a decent-looking guy who your lady-friend will like, and he always works with high-quality women.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-02-24 07:04pm

But David, I'm only speaking my honest opinion!

Bwahahaha...

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-02-24 07:11pm

David wrote:
Mmmm, Ron Jeremy......what a sexy bit of man-flesh. Mmmmm....

One more comment like that and I'll delete this thread. Oh I can feel my lunch comming up.

Dammit Zaia...

Just HoS it, ok? Acccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2003-02-24 07:44pm

Here's what I don't get about it: why does practically every porno scene end with the guy cumming on the woman's face? I can only speak for myself, but I've never done that and don't see where it would be much fun.

*Edit*: okay, when I think about it not all the scenes end that way, but the thought of spraying a woman's back or belly does nothing for me either.