SDNW4 Diplomatic Communications Thread

[Force Lord]

From: Ravin Nostrum, Foreign Secretary of the Centrality
To: The Leader
Escort is permitted. We hope you will be polite while entering our nation.

FROM: The Leader
TO: Ravin Nostrum, Foreign Secretary of the Centrality.

Actually, I have changed my mind, I will personally greet you by warp-gate with no escort. See you soon.

From: Ravin Nostrum, Foreign Secretary of the Centrality
To: The Leader

That is...unexpected. Very well.

[Beowulf]

FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
TO: Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

While we are eager to establish relation with your people, we would like to know more about this champion you request.

Is the battle necessary?

Will either of our people die?

What kind of battle? Hand-to-hand, melee weapons only, bows only, ranged weapons only, no armor, any armor, anything you can bring?

We are also afraid that our champion will stand no chance against yours, due to our preferred method of ground combat being a combination of orbital bombardment and shooting people in the back.

Signed

Saint #3

TO: Saint #3, The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
FROM: Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

The rules for combat will be randomly chosen when your champion arrives. The lethal incapacitation of a champion may be an unavoidable consequence of the duel, or even required by the rules for combat. The champion must be prepared for any sort of combat. The combat is non-negotiable.

//SIGNED//
Katya Perry
Director, Wairen Bureau

[Chaotic Neutral]

TO: Saint #3, The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
FROM: Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

The rules for combat will be randomly chosen when your champion arrives. The lethal incapacitation of a champion may be an unavoidable consequence of the duel, or even required by the rules for combat. The champion must be prepared for any sort of combat. The combat is non-negotiable.

//SIGNED//
Katya Perry
Director, Wairen Bureau

FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
TO: Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

Must the champion be biological, or are machines allowed as well?

Signed
Saint #3

[PeZook]

Delivered via message drone, through a warp gate. The drone awaited a response and then jumped away into hyperspace.

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WE HAVE INTERCEPTED AND DECRYPTED YOUR DIPLOMATIC MESSAGE TO THE CHAMARRAN EMPIRE

THE COLLECTIVE MAY HAVE WHAT YOU NEED

WE REQUEST A MEETING

[Chaotic Neutral]

FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
TO: Wierd Ship That Came Through Our Warp Gate Without Permission (WSTCTOWGWP)

You decrypted our messages? Are we going to need to send diplomats straight to the leaders of other empires just to prevent that from happening again? I sure am glad that it isn't happening with all of our messages at least.

We are eager to establish meet the strange people that don't send ambassadors or encrypted messages like everyone else, especially if we can conduct trade. Where would you like to meet?

[Beowulf]

FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
TO: Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

Must the champion be biological, or are machines allowed as well?

Signed
Saint #3

TO: Saint #3, The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
FROM: Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

We fail to understand your question.

//SIGNED//
Katya Perry
Director, Wairen Bureau

[Chaotic Neutral]

TO: Saint #3, The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
FROM: Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

We fail to understand your question.

//SIGNED//
Katya Perry
Director, Wairen Bureau

FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
TO: Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

In more simple terms: Can we send a robot as our champion?

Signed
Saint #3

[Beowulf]

FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
TO: Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

In more simple terms: Can we send a robot as our champion?

Signed
Saint #3

TO: Saint #3, The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
FROM: The Office of Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

If that is how you choose to represent your nation.

//SIGNED//
Zheng Long
Assistant Underdirector for the Rimward Widdershins Quadrant
Wairen Bureau

[Chaotic Neutral]

TO: Saint #3, The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
FROM: The Office of Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

If that is how you choose to represent your nation.

//SIGNED//
Zheng Long
Assistant Underdirector for the Rimward Widdershins Quadrant
Wairen Bureau

FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
TO: The Office of Katya Perry, Wairen Bureau, Tianguo

Because of your insistence on a battle for diplomacy to begin, we have decided to send a robot to present us.

It was the only way to prevent death and continue contact between our peoples, and even if I lose the fight, I will be connected to a backup body on my ship.

I will be coming via warp gate, see you soon.

Signed
Saint #3

[MKSheppard]

TO:Shepistani Republic
FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness

Hello! We have just arrived from another universe!

It did not have any espers, however, so after our arrival, a small portion of our citizen started to show the abilities. We have heard you have powerful anti-esper devices, and would like to know if we could purchase a small number them.

In addition, we would like to know if you have any espers sentenced to death or death by torture that you would sell to us for research.

Sincerely
Saint #321

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FROM: THE SHEPISTANI REPUBLIC
TO: THE MEH

We would be pleased to sell you as many anti-psyker devices as you wish, with discounts on quantities above 1.0x10^6.

While we have a random sampling of psyker criminals who have violated the laws of Shepistan regarding psykerdom; we would require further clarification of what the 'research' these criminals will be expended in will consist of before shipment details can be worked out.

FOR THE ATOM.

[Chaotic Neutral]

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FROM: THE SHEPISTANI REPUBLIC
TO: THE MEH

We would be pleased to sell you as many anti-psyker devices as you wish, with discounts on quantities above 1.0x10^6.

While we have a random sampling of psyker criminals who have violated the laws of Shepistan regarding psykerdom; we would require further clarification of what the 'research' these criminals will be expended in will consist of before shipment details can be worked out.

FOR THE ATOM.

TO:Shepistani Republic
FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness

We would like to buy 1000 large, 1000 medium, and 1000 small devices.

The research we will put them under involves various tests meant to give information on how their powers work, how to control them, how to increase them, and how lower them, ect...

As for the criminals, may we request that instead of just any psyker prisoners, you give us the ones that have committed particularly heinous acts, molesting people, torturing hundreds, and mass murder. We wouldn't want to be experimenting on people who are only guilty of activating powers they didn't know they had.

We would like approximately 5670 for testing.

In addition, since other nations seem to avoid yours, we would like the opportunity to become close allies. May we set up an embassy in your nation?

Signed
Saint #321

[MKSheppard]

TO:Shepistani Republic
FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness

We would like to buy 1000 large, 1000 medium, and 1000 small devices.

The research we will put them under involves various tests meant to give information on how their powers work, how to control them, how to increase them, and how lower them, ect...

As for the criminals, may we request that instead of just any psyker prisoners, you give us the ones that have committed particularly heinous acts, molesting people, torturing hundreds, and mass murder. We wouldn't want to be experimenting on people who are only guilty of activating powers they didn't know they had.

We would like approximately 5670 for testing.

In addition, since other nations seem to avoid yours, we would like the opportunity to become close allies. May we set up an embassy in your nation?

Signed
Saint #321

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TO: THE MEH
FROM: THE SHEPISTANI REPUBLIC

We can deliver the devices immediately, as we have a quite large stockpile of them for wartime use.

As for the prisoners, your requirements for criminal purity will limit the amount of prisoners we can provide. We do not think we can provide more than several dozen a shipment until several months down the line to a year.

We also have a very vested interest in this kind of psykeric research, so if you would tell us a bit more about the nature of your experiments, we would be able to provide higher quality specimens more tailored to your needs, rather than whatever random criminals we found that exhibited psykeric qualities.

Thirdly, you are welcome to set up a small embassy in the protected embassy district near Vulture Rock. We have tentatively assigned you to the plot next to the Bragulan Full Scale Ambassadorial Complex.

[Chaotic Neutral]

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TO: THE MEH
FROM: THE SHEPISTANI REPUBLIC

We can deliver the devices immediately, as we have a quite large stockpile of them for wartime use.

As for the prisoners, your requirements for criminal purity will limit the amount of prisoners we can provide. We do not think we can provide more than several dozen a shipment until several months down the line to a year.

We also have a very vested interest in this kind of psykeric research, so if you would tell us a bit more about the nature of your experiments, we would be able to provide higher quality specimens more tailored to your needs, rather than whatever random criminals we found that exhibited psykeric qualities.

Thirdly, you are welcome to set up a small embassy in the protected embassy district near Vulture Rock. We have tentatively assigned you to the plot next to the Bragulan Full Scale Ambassadorial Complex.

Code: Select all

TO:Shepistani Republic
FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness

When you say "We do not think we can provide more than several dozen a shipment until several months down the line to a year." do you mean to say that removing the criminals from all over your territories will be time consuming, or that you will rush large numbers of psykers through the courts on charges they did not commit.

We do not mean to insult you, but as we are on the already thin line of human experimentation, we would rather be safe than sorry. I hope are worries are unfounded, as it would likely damage our future relationship.

As for to our goals for research, our most obvious ones are military in nature, faster, stronger, more powerful soldiers. However, we also would like to give large scale psykic powers to instructors so as to aid in mass instruction of many people at one time via embedding the information directly into a mind. Not large numbers of instructors of course, as we intend to use your dampeners to control them.

Various other ideas for experimentation involve activating powers via putting machines in a subjects brain, and controlling it them without its knowledge, and psykericly linking multiple soldiers together for better coordination.

Signed
Saint #321

[MKSheppard]

TO:Shepistani Republic
FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness

When you say "We do not think we can provide more than several dozen a shipment until several months down the line to a year." do you mean to say that removing the criminals from all over your territories will be time consuming, or that you will rush large numbers of psykers through the courts on charges they did not commit.

We do not mean to insult you, but as we are on the already thin line of human experimentation, we would rather be safe than sorry. I hope are worries are unfounded, as it would likely damage our future relationship.

As for to our goals for research, our most obvious ones are military in nature, faster, stronger, more powerful soldiers. However, we also would like to give large scale psykic powers to instructors so as to aid in mass instruction of many people at one time via embedding the information directly into a mind. Not large numbers of instructors of course, as we intend to use your dampeners to control them.

Various other ideas for experimentation involve activating powers via putting machines in a subjects brain, and controlling it them without its knowledge, and psykericly linking multiple soldiers together for better coordination.

Signed
Saint #321

TO: THE MEH
FROM: SHEPISTAN

To answer your question; it is this specific requirement you have laid forth:

'you give us the ones that have committed particularly heinous acts, molesting people, torturing hundreds, and mass murder. We wouldn't want to be experimenting on people who are only guilty of activating powers they didn't know they had.'

That is causing a lot of problems in the possible flow of prisoners to you.

In Shepistan, Pskyers aren't human. This is stated in the revised Sheparticles of Colonization which were instituted after the Amplitur Wars.

It would greatly aid our effort if you would just abandon all moral, legal, and ethical scruples regarding the use of Psyker test subjects.

It's not like they're human, anyway. They're just product.

As for your goals, they are...intruiging, considering that we are facing a renewed Amplitur threat; and that some aspects of Psykerism could be mechanized using HUEG robotics with bio-organic CPUs.

[Chaotic Neutral]

TO: THE MEH
FROM: SHEPISTAN

To answer your question; it is this specific requirement you have laid forth:

'you give us the ones that have committed particularly heinous acts, molesting people, torturing hundreds, and mass murder. We wouldn't want to be experimenting on people who are only guilty of activating powers they didn't know they had.'

That is causing a lot of problems in the possible flow of prisoners to you.

In Shepistan, Pskyers aren't human. This is stated in the revised Sheparticles of Colonization which were instituted after the Amplitur Wars.

It would greatly aid our effort if you would just abandon all moral, legal, and ethical scruples regarding the use of Psyker test subjects.

It's not like they're human, anyway. They're just product.

As for your goals, they are...intruiging, considering that we are facing a renewed Amplitur threat; and that some aspects of Psykerism could be mechanized using HUEG robotics with bio-organic CPUs.

TO:Shepistani Republic
FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness

We apologize for not being clear; In The MEH, all creatures that are both sentient and sapient, being organic, mechanical, or magical, are recognized as being people, and when we drag them off to a laboratory to be experimented on, we do not delude ourselves into thinking that they are not. We simply tell them, to their face, that they were chosen for experimentation because they were the best choice (Or the easiest depending on circumstances.).

Likewise, if we are on the border of a nation that has large amounts of resources, we do not tell ourselves "We will destroy you impure abominations." We merely say "We are going to kill you and take your shit."

(Unless they are Orks, in which case their love of fighting makes them a menace, and they live on resource-rich worlds, in which case it is both.)

Defining away someone from being a person is pointless and only assists in doing things that would not otherwise seem like a good idea, showing that you may be going through the wrong course of action.

But back to the main point: How many of the prisoners of the requested type can you deliver, and in what time frame?

Signed
Saint #321

[Chaotic Neutral]

TO:The Imperium of Man
FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness

We were hoping to organize an interstellar war-games tournament. As we have heard your ships are some of the galaxies best, we have decided to ask you first. We need at least two other nations sending ships to open the games to everyone, would you like to participate?

Signed
Saint #233

[Master_Baerne]

Secure Hyperwave Transmission
TO: Clans of Hiigara
FROM: Federated Ascendancy

Messieurs et Madames,

In light of recent galactic instability, the Ascendancy feels that it would be beneficial to both our nations, and demonstrative of our friendship and general good rapport, to hold a set of joint fleet exercises sometime in the near future. Would this be possible, and if so desired?

Respectfully,
Countess Gloriana Proeliam, Minister for Foreign Affairs
Admiral Jacques Dupont, Second Space Lord

[Dark Hellion]

Code: Select all

Tightbeam Hyperwave 
Encryption protocol: beta5 cyclic key

To: Chamarran High Command
From: The Ambassador (Emissaries of XylyX)

Although we have not had much diplomatic contact previously we feel that developments within this sector mean we should open new lines of dialogue. With your permission I would like to come and discuss what to do about these matters and perhaps to open other avenues of diplomacy as well.

[Darkevilme]

To: The Emissaries of Xylyx
From: House Kithandra, Chamarran Hierarchy


Greetings.
Your request has been accepted, you may arrive via warp gate at your discretion.
We find it greatly calming to learn that you share our unease about the arrival of the extraplanar entity known as the mutiversal empire of happyness, this gives us common ground which we have not had prior to these events. We look forward to discussing these events with you soon.

-Tia Kithandra

[PeZook]

FROM: The Multiversal Empire of Happiness
TO: Wierd Ship That Came Through Our Warp Gate Without Permission (WSTCTOWGWP)

You decrypted our messages? Are we going to need to send diplomats straight to the leaders of other empires just to prevent that from happening again? I sure am glad that it isn't happening with all of our messages at least.

We are eager to establish meet the strange people that don't send ambassadors or encrypted messages like everyone else, especially if we can conduct trade. Where would you like to meet?

The drone emerged from shoal space after a few days, and transmitted the following encrypted message using MEH diplomatic codes.

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YES

SEE ATTACHED SYSTEM COORDINATES FOR MEETING IN SECTOR P25

It awaited a reply for two kiloseconds and left again.

[Chaotic Neutral]

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YES

SEE ATTACHED SYSTEM COORDINATES FOR MEETING IN SECTOR P25

It awaited a reply for two kiloseconds and left again.

FROM: The MEH
TO: Wierd Ship

OK.

[Ryan Thunder]

Message to Shinra

To whom it may concern,

This MEH seems kind of strange. We should keep an eye on them. Let's have our intelligence services collaborate on the matter, shall we?

We should trade shit, too, while we're at it. MADNESS recently engineered some bitching power armour and mining equipment that you may be interested in, and we'd like to secure some additional backup foodstuffs for Nova Miratia in case things go bad with one of their usual food sources. Twenty billion citizens makes for a hell of a lot of mouths to feed, after all.

Sincerely,
The Representative from Nova Miratia to the Elected Assembly of the Interstellar Union of Worlds, Emorroth Kelechtia

[RogueIce]

Message to Shinra

To whom it may concern,

This MEH seems kind of strange. We should keep an eye on them. Let's have our intelligence services collaborate on the matter, shall we?

We should trade shit, too, while we're at it. MADNESS recently engineered some bitching power armour and mining equipment that you may be interested in, and we'd like to secure some additional backup foodstuffs for Nova Miratia in case things go bad with one of their usual food sources. Twenty billion citizens makes for a hell of a lot of mouths to feed, after all.

Sincerely,
The Representative from Nova Miratia to the Elected Assembly of the Interstellar Union of Worlds, Emorroth Kelechtia

FROM: Warren Wright, Secretary of State for the Shinra Republic
TO: The Representative from Nova Miratia to the Elected Assembly of the Interstellar Union of Worlds, Emorroth Kelechtia

It is agreed that the nation known as the 'MEH' is strange, and certain diplomatic communication we have had with them has revealed somewhat disturbing aims on their part. I would recommend a face to face meeting at the soonest to discuss this issue.

Regarding the matter of trade, I shall pass your request to the proper authorities. I am confident that they will be favorable acted upon.

{OOC: They will indeed, after the usual formalities }

[Siege]

[swept-to-tightbeam, hypercast on limited frequencies, received @ n3.148.02.3400+]
(Signal sequence #d514C9/3617, relay:)

TO: Bragulan Star Empire
FROM: Solarian Business Syndicate

To whom it may concern,

The SBS hereby makes known its desire to participate in the Bragulan Economic Exposition Extravaganza of Friendship exposium that is to be organized within an undisclosed and secure location deep inside the fortified bowels of Bragulan territory.

The Syndicate is a corporate NGO unafiliated with the government of the United Solarian Sovereignty. Amongst its prominent shareholders and, hopefully, participants in the Extravaganza are:

- Maibatsu
- LaMerck Industries
- Cerberus Syndicate
- DeBarros General Products
- Pan-Empyrean Positronics
- Orion Bank
- Caine Adult Entertainment

We assure you that this list is by no means complete, and hope to see you in an undisclosed and secure location deep inside the fortified bowels of Bragulan territory soon!

Cordially,

América Timex-Sinclair
Director, Solarian Business Syndicate

[Ryan Thunder]

Message to Tianguo

To whom it may concern,

We would like to make formal diplomatic contact!

We will send, as our champion, an autonomous theatre control unit. (Please disregard the autonomous dynamic assault unit in the foreground.)

Sincerely,
The Representative from Nova Miratia to the Elected Assembly of the Interstellar Union of Worlds, Emorroth Kelechtia