The Futurama Chronicles

[dantheman40k]

2980
Ballywick City, Decapod 10


King Thurmodore was seated on his throne, reading a copy of Time when one of his aides walked in.'Your majesty,' he said, bowing 'The Durgian Emperor is here' 'Show him in then!' Thurmodore said. His aide left and returned followed by what looked like a man with jet black skin, dark blue pupil-less eyes and a lizard-like face and a large black horn sticking out the top of his head.

'Ah, Emperor Thaarg, nice to see you' 'Cut the niceties, Thurmodore, I came to see if the Weapon is ready' 'The...weapon?' Thurmodore asked, bemused 'What weapon?' 'The weapon that we axed you to build for us you said you were nearly finished, that was in 2970 how long does it take to build a weapon? Thurmodore looked rather irked 'Very long with these things' he said holding up his crab-like claws.'Be warned failure is not some thing that is taken lightly by us Durgians' and with that Thaarg walked out of the room 'Asshole' Thurmodore muttered


Ariesville, Mars, two months later

A dingy little diner on the outskirts of a large city is not the sort of place that you would expect to find the CEO ofWongCorp Enterprises. However Leonadias Kenichi Wong, CEO of WongCorp Enterprises stood at the bar drinkinga glass of Urskip's Beer when an even more un expected customer walked in, Emperor Thaarg.

Archie, the bartender gave a little yelp and said 'Wow a royal visit in my bar' he turned to a young Neptunian who was sweeping the floor.'Elzar, go and get a table set up for the Emperor' 'Thats OK Im not staying long, I just wanted a little word with my pal Leo here' Thaarg said ruffling Leo's black hair 'Oh' Archie said 'Elzar, go and unblock that toilet' 'One of these days Ill have my own resturant and then BAM!' Elzar said before grabbing a plunger and leaving the room. 'What did you want to see me about' Leo said, not looking at Thaarg but at the bottom of the Urskip bottle.

Thaarg smiled 'Nice night, Phobos is full tonight I allways liked Martian nights-' 'Did you just come here to talk about the weather?' Leo inturrupted.'No. I came here to talk about the Weapon' Leo nearly dropped the Urskip bottle. 'What about it?''We think we may have found the perfect host for it'

tbc

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

I beg you. Proofread what you write before posting . . . learn the concept of line-breaks and paragraphs. This is less of a story and more verbal diarrhea, and it is painful to read in its current state.

[dantheman40k]

3005
New New York, Earth

The crew of the Planet Express ship were all seated at the table when in walked the Professor.'Good news, everyone,' He said cheerfuly 'You will be making a delivery to the USS Nimbus which is currently in orbit a round the planet Threzeacrowd' 'Woop di doo' said Leela sarcasticly.'I like your enthusiasim, Leela.' said the Professor cheerfully. 'Now, Threzeacrowd is currently having over population problems so your job will be to deliver supplies to the people who are being relocated to a overflow colony on the planet Gweeb'. 'How far away is this planet' asked Fry '34,0000,00000,00000,000 lightyears' replied the Professor 'So... I guess I'll need to pack a extra pair of underwear then'

The Nimbus, in orbit around the planet Threzeacrowd

Zapp sat in his chair thinking about.....well lets just say that he was thinking. 'Kif, Ive been thinking' 'Theres a suprise' Kif mutterd 'What?' 'Err I said what what were you thinking about, sir?' 'About this whole Threzeacrowd thing. What if its just a front to mount an attack against the DOOP?' 'I doubt it, sir' Kif said. 'And where is that darned supply ship?' Zapp said impatiantly. 'With out food and water the people will die, as will my chances of winning the Humanitarian Of The Year Award and it will go to my arch rival, Smedley Dinklemeyer, captain of the USS Cirrus!'

Kif sighed. There then came a ear splitting yelp from the ships alarm sytem. Zapp screamed 'what in the name of William Shatner's ghost was that?!?' both he and Kif looked up at the viewscreen to see the Planet Express shiplooking heavyly damaged and with its tail fin missing, zoom past the screen followed by several Durg starfighters.'Wait arnt the Durg on our side?' 'I thought so.' said Kif.

The Gadrach Plataux, Threzeacrowd

Zapp and Kif flew down to the crash site on Zapp's private shuttle craft. As soon as they arrived a man with a long brown coat and dark red hair walked up. 'Devan Tilton, Spaceship Crash Investigations, Id like to axe you a few questions' 'Zapp Brannigan, Captain of the DOOP ship Nimbus' . Zapp, Kif and Devan walked in to a tent that was set up nearby.
Devan sat at his desk and started typing on his computer.

'Now,' he said 'A rather unusal thing happened here before you arrived, rescue teams released all crew members a man, a one eyed alien female, a robot, a Decapodian and a girl that we identified as Amy Wong, daughter of Leonadias Wong, CEO of WongCorp Enterprises. Now, all the other crew members got off with minor injories but Amy was pronounced dead at the scene by a team of highly trained DOOP medical personal but then strangely, Amy came back to life.' Zapp looked blank 'So....what?'

'So..twelve members of the DOOP medical department pronounce someone dead then that person comes back to life' Kif took that moment to speak up. 'Perhaps you got it wrong'
'Every single bone in her body was broken her internal organs were ripped to shreds and then five minutes later she is alive and well and is flirting with the coroner! I did a little digging and found that a simaler incident occured in 2997 on Decapod 10 to a member of thier science department. He turned out to be working on a project funded by WongCorp but when I tried to find out more about it I got DATA RISTRICTED.'

Zapp looked burmused 'What does this have to do with us?' he said 'Because DOOP was researching technology that could defy death. In 2861 the DOOP ship Kilmanock sent a science team to the planet Durg, near the edge of the Universe. The team was lead by the ships Science Officer, Hubert Farnsworth.' 'So we find this guy and we will find out about why Amy Wong is alive?' Zapp asked 'Yes'.

tbc.

I hope this is more easy to read.

[Mayabird]

Word of advice: when a different character speaks, make a new line. Example:

Zapp sat in his chair thinking about.....well lets just say that he was thinking. 'Kif, Ive been thinking'

'Theres a suprise' Kif mutterd

'What?'

'Err I said what what were you thinking about, sir?'

'About this whole Threzeacrowd thing. What if its just a front to mount an attack against the DOOP?'

'I doubt it, sir' Kif said.

'And where is that darned supply ship?' Zapp said impatiantly. 'With out food and water the people will die, as will my chances of winning the Humanitarian Of The Year Award and it will go to my arch rival, Smedley Dinklemeyer, captain of the USS Cirrus!'

Much easier to read. Also it makes it easier for us to see just how terrible your writing is, because I completely agree with GrandMasterTerwynn. I hope to goodness that you are not a native English speaker.

[dantheman40k]

Word of advice: when a different character speaks, make a new line. Example:

Zapp sat in his chair thinking about.....well lets just say that he was thinking. 'Kif, Ive been thinking'

'Theres a suprise' Kif mutterd

'What?'

'Err I said what what were you thinking about, sir?'

'About this whole Threzeacrowd thing. What if its just a front to mount an attack against the DOOP?'

'I doubt it, sir' Kif said.

'And where is that darned supply ship?' Zapp said impatiantly. 'With out food and water the people will die, as will my chances of winning the Humanitarian Of The Year Award and it will go to my arch rival, Smedley Dinklemeyer, captain of the USS Cirrus!'

Much easier to read. Also it makes it easier for us to see just how terrible your writing is, because I completely agree with GrandMasterTerwynn. I hope to goodness that you are not a native English speaker.

Wow. What constructive critisisim! Where would I be without such brilliant advice as:'Your writing is terrible.'

Jerk.

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

Word of advice: when a different character speaks, make a new line. Example:

Zapp sat in his chair thinking about.....well lets just say that he was thinking. 'Kif, Ive been thinking'

'Theres a suprise' Kif mutterd

'What?'

'Err I said what what were you thinking about, sir?'

'About this whole Threzeacrowd thing. What if its just a front to mount an attack against the DOOP?'

'I doubt it, sir' Kif said.

'And where is that darned supply ship?' Zapp said impatiantly. 'With out food and water the people will die, as will my chances of winning the Humanitarian Of The Year Award and it will go to my arch rival, Smedley Dinklemeyer, captain of the USS Cirrus!'

Much easier to read. Also it makes it easier for us to see just how terrible your writing is, because I completely agree with GrandMasterTerwynn. I hope to goodness that you are not a native English speaker.

Wow. What constructive critisisim! Where would I be without such brilliant advice as:'Your writing is terrible.'
Jerk.

Here's some constructive criticism. First: Use a fucking spell checker. I have taken the liberty of highlighting and underlining every word you spelled wrong in the short snippet of your writing that Mayabird quoted.

Second: For the love of the gods, borrow a high school-level English grammar book from your local library and read it to refresh yourself on how to construct readable English sentences. If the high school level grammar book escapes you, check out a junior high school grammar book. If the junior high school grammar book escapes you, then check out an elementary school grammar book. If that book escapes you, you're beyond hope; GTFO.

Third: Read some books more sophisticated than "See Spot Run," to see how authors construct sentences, paragraphs, and other structures of the English language. Pay attention to how they write dialogue, describe scene details, and characterize their characters.

Fourth: Write, and then delete, at least five drafts of a story before posting it; because, for the love of the gods, you "ASK" someone a goddamn question . . . you don't "axe" them a question.

[dantheman40k]

Fourth: Write, and then delete, at least five drafts of a story before posting it; because, for the love of the gods, you "ASK" someone a goddamn question . . . you don't "axe" them a question.

You dont watch Futurama do you?

[Mr. Coffee]

I'd ask if you've ever watched the show. They're right, this is terrible. Stop it.

[FaxModem1]

To be fair, from season 1 on of Futurama, 'axe' replaced 'ask' as the correct pronunciation of the word ask. Other than that, he has nothing else to stand on.

[dantheman40k]

I see noone has any construcive critisisim to add. So I'll just take my leave. I dont know what I have done to deserve this vendetta against me but I dont care. Have fun with your peanut gallery.