Star Trek Paint Adventure

[atg]

Ask the ANGRY ADMIRAL to wash the WINDSHIELD while he's out there cause some SPACE BUGS got squished on it.

[Instant Sunrise]

Use the scanners to locate a shoulder pads warehouse and beam aboard enough shoulder pads to fill up all the cargo bays.

Once that's done, time travel back to the 24th century to give the Romulans their new shoulder pads.

You order Commander Data to go down to engineering and figure out a way to scan for shoulderpads.


You are now COMMANDER DATA. You are currently in MAIN ENGINEERING with CHIEF ENGINEER GEORDI LA FORGE. Captain Picard sent you here to find a way to scan for shoulderpads.

What will you do?

[Chardok]

Why, we recalibrate the sensors to detect shoulderpads, of course!

[Uraniun235]

ask geordi the meaning of shoulder pads to 20th century humans and 24th century romulans

ask him if the romulans told him why they wear those inefficient pads while they were brainwashing him to assassinate some podunk klingon governor

[Instant Sunrise]

Why, we recalibrate the sensors to detect shoulderpads, of course!

You recalibrate the quantum antigraviton matrix to repolarize the main deflector dish so that the blumkin coefficient is high enough that the ships sensors can detect the location of any shoulderpad stockpiles.

[Chardok]

I call the captain and inform him of the recalibration in excrutiating detail, and advise that we may commence scanning the planet for shoulderpads.

[OmegaChief]

Be the Angry Admiral!

[Instant Sunrise]

I call the captain and inform him of the recalibration in excrutiating detail, and advise that we may commence scanning the planet for shoulderpads.

You go to Captain Picard to explain how to scan for shoulderpads


You give him your best explanation. He orders you to make it so before you have even finished explaining how to reconfigure the ships sensors to detect sufficient quantities of shoulderpads.


Nevertheless, the computer has located an ample supply of shoulderpads.


You are now COMMANDER WILLIAM T. RIKER, you are the EXECUTIVE OFFICER on board the USS ENTERPRISE. You are still reeling from a DEVASTATING INSULT by Captain Picard. You have just been instructed to report to TRANSPORTER ROOM 3 to lead an AWAY TEAM.

[Artemas]

Rebuild devastated ego.

Look on map for transporter room 3. Choose Data, Troi, Worf and some guy/girl from security or whoever those people who wear yellow are (cowards probably).

Then take the zip line to the armoury.

[atg]

Do the Safety Dance to rebuild ego.

[Uraniun235]

As you grab phasers for the away mission, secretly palm a photon grenade. When nobody's looking, program the transporter to beam the photon grenade into President Reagan's lap.

EDIT: Alternately, use the scanners to determine a suitable grassy knoll from which Data can be ordered to shoot President Reagan.

[Instant Sunrise]

Do the Safety Dance to rebuild ego.

You attempt to rebuild your ego by doing the safety dance.


Your attempt was an overwhelming success!

[atg]

Lead the AWAY TEAM in a hardboiled manner.

[Instant Sunrise]

Lead the AWAY TEAM in a hardboiled manner.

You assemble an AWAY TEAM consisting of yourself, LIEUTENANT WORF, and DOCTOR CRUSHER.

You also have the replicator make PERIOD APPROPRIATE CLOTHING and HAIRSTYLES.

You are uncomfortable with the SPANDEX LEGGINGS, perhaps you should make this quick.

[atg]

CAPTAIN PICARD: Flip the ANGRY ADMIRAL the bird as he floats past the VIEWPORT.

[Enigma]

Have Captain Picard moon the ANGRY ADMIRAL while flipping him the bird.

[Darth Fanboy]

CAPTAIN PICARD: Head to Sickbay to mack on Crusher.

[Artemas]

PICARD: If Crusher is not at sickbay, inject self with random drugs.

[Instant Sunrise]

CAPTAIN PICARD: Flip the ANGRY ADMIRAL the bird as he floats past the VIEWPORT.

You are now Captain Picard. The thought had occurred to you to flip the bird to the ANGRY ADMIRAL floating past the window. However, you are not aware of any admirals floating around your ship, angry or otherwise. Quite frankly, the notion of flipping one off seems foolhardy.


Nevertheless, you flip the bird towards the empty window.

CAPTAIN PICARD: Head to Sickbay to mack on Crusher.

Doctor Crusher is on the Away Team, you double dumbass!

[Darth Fanboy]

I never specified which Crusher.

[Instant Sunrise]

I never specified which Crusher.

Wesley is at Starfleet Academy pooplord! You decide to check on the AWAY TEAM.


Seems to be going quite well. You'll have those shoulderpads in no time!

[Darth Fanboy]

This is the best thread ever.

[OmegaChief]

Yea this is hilarious, any chance we could save this from testing like we did with the Commander Riker thread?

Oooh, idea!

Commander Riker; Answer questions from online forum.

[Zablorg]

CAPTAIN PICARD: Retire to the holo-deck to rehearse the ship's production of the Pirates of Penzance.

[Zablorg]

CAPTAIN PICARD: oh shit are we in the holodeck right now???