Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[PeZook]

January 21st 2025
Tuesday

ROUND 1



Barack Obama Private Spaceflight Complex
Hangar no. 8
Merrit Island, FL

You are now: FILIPINO JANITOR, ZIXINUS, PHANT, ETERNAL FREEDOM, CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY and SUAVE PLAYBOY.

You are STUCK in a HANGAR OFFICE. It is PAST MIDNIGHT. It is VERY HOT. Also VERY HUMID. There are ARMED RUSSIANS pretty much EVERYWHERE. They are ANGRY. Also HUMORLESS.

There is much PANIC when PYOTR announces he will START to CUT OFF FINGERS if you can't PAY an EXTRAORDINARILY HUGE SUM OF MONEY in a VERY SHORT TIME. CREEPY RUSSIAN guy asks the OBVIOUS QUESTION about the STATE of your FINANCES while SUAVE PLAYBOY claims DESPERATELY that he has NOTHING TO DO with you. He OFFERS a RUSSIAN his COCAINE. The RUSSIAN takes the COCAINE and LEAVES the HANGAR OFFICE.

CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY SIGHS and TAKES the AMEX from ETERNAL FREEDOM. He uses the TABLET to do STRANGE THINGS and CLAIMS your trouble will SOON be OVER. The BILL is probably going to be EXTRAORDINARY, though.

Having DONE that, CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY orders some CHINESE TAKEOUT and RETURNS to PHOTOGRAPHING the SPACEPLANE MANUAL he FOUND.

ETERNAL FREEDOM asks PYOTR if you can INSPECT the SPACEPLANE. IOSEF GRUNTS but PYOTR AGREES DISMISSIVELY. You are LET into the MAIN HANGAR.



You are in the HANGAR. There is an ACTUAL SPACEPLANE. It is MAGNIFICIENT. You are in AWE of its RIGID STRENGTH and HIDDEN POWER. It has been LOVINGLY MAINTAINED. It still has the LOGO of ALTEA AEROSPACE on its FUSELAGE.

Suddenly a WHITE GUY appears. He is CARRYING a HUGE BAG of CHINESE TAKEOUT. He demands PAYMENT. ARMED RUSSIANS DRAG him INSIDE thinking him to be a FEDERAL AGENT. They take up DEFENSIVE POSITIONS expecting an AMBUSH. IOSEF is angrily MOVING towards your GROUP. He seems ANGRY.

What do you do? _

***

Mobile County Sherrif's Office
510 South Royal Street
Mobile, AL

You are now: RI'ANN SHAPP.

You are in a COMFORTABLY ENHANCED INTERROGATION ROOM. It is VERY COMFORTABLE. You are still WEARING your HOSPITAL GOWN. There is no CHAMPAGNE nor COOKIES. There is a COUCH. There is a HUMORLESS FEDERAL AGENT. There HUMORLESS FEDERAL AGENT is SITTING across the TABLE from YOU. He seems ANGRY. He does not BELIEVE your STORY. He was GRILLING you throughout the NIGHT. You are DEAD TIRED. You hear a MAN BEGGING for his LIFE from NEXT DOOR.

HUMORLESS FEDERAL AGENT SLAPS a DIET COKE on the TABLE.

HUMORLESS FEDERAL AGENT Says: Your story does not make sense, but my superiors are tired of this game. Let's say we believe you don't know where the spaceplane is. Here's a phone. Get us the location from your supposed scamming employers, and you won't visit Guantanamo Base Happy Fun Activity Camp. This is will be the only offer I will ever make.

You can take it, or I can turn the AC all the way up. Your choice!

What do you do? _

[Eternal_Freedom]

KICK the CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY and TELL HIM to EXPLAIN to IOSEF about the CHINESE TAKEOUT.

RETURN to GAZING in AWE at the SPACEPLANE. BEGIN CONSIDERING where we might ATTACH the BOMBS.

[Zixinus]

Take big breath and hope to HIGH HEAVEN that CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY is true to his word.

Walk up to ETERNAL FREEDOM and announce that I will punch him in the gut for his stupidity getting me in deadly trouble.

I then step on his toes, knee in him the gut and elbow him to the floor. I note to him that I still left his gentiles intact and other sensitive organs untouched.

Tell him that he shouldn't kick the guy that might save our precious lives. Also, I'll use his AMEX card to buy some things and with what I just did to him, I consider my GRUDGE to be SETTLED.

TALK TO CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY. TELL HIM that he should give a few thousand dollars extra to the RUSSIANS, partly to settle any grudges and because I want to BUY FIREARMS & AMMUNITION from them (what exactly will depend on what they have). I do so because a, this is a good opportunity and b, we are wanted fugitives so it might be prudent to defend ourselves and c, we may land in hostile country. However, I'll only do so once the gold arrived, to not annoy HUMORLESS RUSSIANS further.
Also, once CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY is done with ORDERING GOLD and once the GOLD ARRIVES, I'll tell him that I wish to have a go at the tablet too to order some things.

For the SUAVE PLAYBOY not only cigars, but champagne and expensive yet CLASSY GOLD WATCH for his trouble (the credit card is unlimited right?) and his loss of cocaine.

For the trip, I'll order a HIGH QUALITY MULTITOOL, several headlamps, a couple of high-pressure foam extinguishers, several ear pulse-oximetres, dosimetres, various MEDICINES, EMERGENCY GLOWSTICKS and a series of flight jumpsuits (including ETERNAL FREEDOM and SUAVE PLAYBOY if he still wants to hang around) with also VIBRAM-SOLED WORKSHOES. I do so asking everyone's sizes. Also, considering our current state, a few high-quality, large FIRST AID kits to help fix ourselves up.

For myself, I'll order some stock-but-good formal clothing (in my brown-grey Hungrain stlye), mustache wax, good IRISH WHISKEY, a BOWLER HAT and a SATELLITE SMARTPHONE with EXTRA BATTERIES.

[Eternal_Freedom]

APOLOGISE to ZIXNUS for getting us INTO THIS MESS, but EXPLAIN that when I said FIND SOME BOMBS I had not EXPECTED the CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY to ACTUALlY GET SOME.

REASSURE HIM that the AMEX does INDEED have no spending limit, and say again that he is WELCOME to purchase WHATEVER HE SEES FIT.

ALSO, CONGRATLATE him on his FORESIGHT in ORDERING CLOTHES and other SUPPLIES.

And say THANKS for SPARING my TESTICLES.

FINALLY, say to ZIXINUS: "If you're buying guns on my card, I'll have a Desert Eagle and a P90 or an F2000 if they have them. Bros again?"

[Zixinus]

Tell to Eternal Freedom: "Only if CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY can manage to pay. If yes, then sure. Just be more careful about these things. And we'll have to talk about the bombs."

Also, ASK CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY his NAME. Actually, apologize for losing my manners and introduce myself to him properly.

Do the same with FILIPINO JANITOR and PHANT.

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY had grave misgivings about LOSING FINGERS and BEING SHOT.

SUAVE PLAYBOY is now APPEASED by promises of SHINY THINGS and awed by SHINY PLANE.

SUAVE PLAYBOY will remain part of THE TEAM despite having NO RELEVANT SKILLS.

[Shroom Man 777]

MASTURBATE in PUBLIC to RELIEVE my ANXIETY

[Eternal_Freedom]

FOLLOW ZIXINUS' LEAD and INTRODUCE MYSELF to PHANT, SUAVE PLAYBOY and CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY.
ASK CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY how soon the GOLD will ARRIVE. TELL SUAVE PLAYBOY that we NEED SOMEONE to look SUAVE to BALANCE the REST OF US. IF anyone ASKS, he's our PR GUY.

ALMOST introduce myself to FILLIPINO JANITOR until I REALISE he is MASTURBATING. HURRIEDLY withdraw to the REST OF THE TEAM. LOOK WORRIEDLY at IOSEF, HOPING that he doesn't GET MAD at the JANITOR'S ACTION.

ALSO, what HAPPENED to the CHINESE DELIVERY GUY?

[Zixinus]

He left probably.

Decide against introducing myself to Filipino JANITOR. Decidedly decide against shaking his hand in the near future.

[FaxModem1]

WHITE CHINESE FOOD DELIVERY GUY stands there with his hands up just asking for the money for the food so that he can go.

Then he notices the SPACE PLANE and stares at it. FOOD DELIVERY GUY then looks at SCARY RUSSIAN GUY and wonders if its worth asking.

FOOD DELIVERY GUY, against his better judgment, asks what's going on.

If they tell him, he wants to come along, its better than delivering takeout.

If they don't, he'll ask for money for the food and wants to leave in one piece.

If they don't give him the money for the food, FOOD DELIVERY GUY will call in SCARY CHINESE RESTAURANT OWNER to settle things, along with CHINESE TRIAD that does PROTECTION of CHINESE RESTAURANT.

OOC: This is fun, can I play?

[Scottish Ninja]

CURSE in RUSSIAN. "Damn it, I said TAKEOUT, not DELIVERY." POINT OUT that I already PAID via CREDIT CARD as part of the ORDERING PROCESS.

Tell IOSEF about PYOTR'S SECRET FONDNESS for CHINESE FOOD.

SUGGEST to WHITE CHINESE FOOD DELIVERY GUY that he and his CHINESE RESTAURANT could become our CATERING SERVICES CONTRACTOR.

POINT OUT that although the AMEX CARD has no spending LIMIT, we will still have to pay the bills. Eventually.

Properly INTRODUCE myself, "IVAN IVANOV" to Zixinus. Suggest to him that, as acting DIRECTOR of SALES, he should make some calls and find out WHO is willing to pay WHAT to put a bomb WHERE on relatively short order. Also FIND OUT about more conventional CARGOES that we might be able to ship without getting ARRESTED, which means we'd have to engage in some TRICKY MANEUVERING to get those NASA CONTRACTS.

SUGGEST to PHANT that he start on setting up a couple of SHELL CORPORATIONS and OFFSHORE BANK ACCOUNTS so we can DO THAT.

SUGGEST to Eternal_Freedom that he FAMILIARIZE himself with the SPACEPLANE MANUAL, as soon as I'm done "making sure we have a backup copy", and FIGURE OUT how we might actually use this thing to BOMB something, particularly without getting SHOT DOWN. As that would be bad.

Also look for PAINT STRIPPER or something to get that ALTEA AEROSPACE LOGO off the SPACEPLANE. AVOID damaging SPACEPLANE.

Eat FRIED RICE. Share CHEAP RUSSIAN VODKA with OTHER RUSSIANS.

[Eternal_Freedom]

AGREE with IVAN IVANOV. BEGIN READING MANUAL, after asking if I MIGHT HAVE SOME CHINESE, if possible SWEET AND SOUR PORK BALLS.

[MKSheppard]

TAKE THE OFFER; AND ASK THE HUMORLESS FED AGENTS IF I CAN BE THE SPACE SHUTTLE DOORGUNNER WHEN WE BUST MY SCAMMING ASSOCiATES.

[PeZook]

January 21st 2025
Tuesday

ROUND 2



Barack Obama Private Spaceflight Complex
Hangar no. 8
Merrit Island, FL

You are now: FILIPINO JANITOR, ZIXINUS, PHANT, ETERNAL FREEDOM, CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY, SUAVE PLAYBOY and WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY.

You are in a HANGAR. It is ALMOST MORNING. It is VERY HOT. Also VERY HUMID. The HANGAR is FULL of ARMED RUSSIANS. There is an ACTUAL SPACEPLANE. The SPACEPLANE is MAGNIFICIENT. There is a TRUCK. The TRUCK is OLD and BATTERED and full of BOMBS. There is also VARIOUS EQUIPMENT used for MAINTAINING SPACECRAFT. There is a MASTURBATING JANITOR in the CORNER. Everyone is CAREFUL to POLITELY IGNORE him. There is a WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY who is ASKING troublesome QUESTIONS to PYOTR. PYOTR had been TALKING with CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY about the CHINESE TAKEOUT. PYOTR is still SUSPICIOUS. He SENDS some ARMED RUSSIANS to KEEP WATCH on the OUTSIDE. He pats the WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY on the SHOULDER and SMILES CRUELLY.

PYOTR Says: Da, you can ask these guys what is going on. We are private security, da?

PYOTR or the ARMED RUSSIANS do not LOOK anything like PRIVATE SECURITY. It is OBVIOUS the WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY does not BELIEVE them. He is still GLAD he has not been MURDERED.

ETERNAL FREEDOM tries to KICK CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY, but is STOPPED by ZIXINUS. ZIXINUS begins to BEAT UP ETERNAL FREEDOM in order to allow CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY to EXPLAIN there is no FEDERAL RAID to ANGRY IOSEF.

This makes WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY become WARY of the GROUP. He is obviously VERY SMART. He decides to WAIT until the GRUDGES are SETTLED with VIOLENCE. It TAKES a GOOD LONG WHILE.

ETERNAL FREEDOM eventually APOLOGIZES to ZIXINUS. Things start to become CORDIAL. Or maybe just LESS TENSE, as the GOLD will take a WHILE to ARRIVE in the HANGAR, and so the RUSSIANS are becoming more and more ANNOYED by the WAIT. PYOTR sends one of the ARMED RUSSIANS to FETCH something.

There are many INTRODUCTIONS. This PROMPTS WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY to APPROACH and ASK his QUESTION. Also DEMAND PAYMENT.

CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY CHASTISES the WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY for DELIVERING the FOOD. It is EXPLAINED that such LARGE ORDERS get DELIVERED for FREE. The PAYMENT MISUNDERSTANDING gets CLEARED UP. CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY does not actually EXPLAIN anything about the SITUATION but SUGGESTS your GROUP could order more FOOD in the FUTURE.He also REMINDS everyone of FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY.

Taking the GOOD ADVICE to HEART, ZIXINUS TAKES the TABLET and begins a SPENDING SPREE. He SPLURGES a lot of CREDIT on many THINGIES you may or may not NEED. As that HAPPENS, there is much STRATEGIZING and MANAGEMENT between CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY, ETERNAL FREEDOM and PHANT.

PHANT does not PARTAKE much, for he is still HORRIFIED to be ALIVE and INSIDE this CRAZY PLOT. He WHIMPERS something SOFTLY.

There is some PAINT STRIPPER in the HANGAR, but many WARNING on the FUSELAGE say you should be VERY CAREFUL when WORKING on the SPACEPLANE.

Everyone DECIDES to take some CHILL PILLS and wait for the GOLD to ARRIVE.

The ARMED RUSSIAN RETURNS with a pair of HUGE PLIERS. He hands them to PYOTR.

What do you do? _
Spoiler

Will do THE MISADVENTURE OF SHAPP later as the kid woke up

[Eternal_Freedom]

AFTER PERSUING the MANUAL, I CONCLUDE thatthe LLOYD BROTHERS were either BRILLIANT or just LUCKY, as they have stolen/acquired a SPACEPLANE that's VERY EASY TO OPERATE.

I BELIEVE I have also WORKED OUT where we can ATTACH the BOMBS, should we EVER NEED THEM.

CONTINUE STRATEGISING with ZIXINUS, and think that he's a VERY GOOD ORGANISER.

I ASK: "If the Lloyd bros get here, what should we do with them? And maybe we SHOULD consider hiring the Russians as security. Better to have us paying them than someone else, like that traitor Shepp."

[PeZook]

January 21st 2025
Tuesday

ROUND 1



Mobile County Sherrif's Office
510 South Royal Street
Mobile, AL

You are now: RI'ANN SHAPP.

You are in a COMFORTABLY ENHANCED INTERROGATION ROOM. It is VERY COMFORTABLE. You are still WEARING your HOSPITAL GOWN. There is no CHAMPAGNE nor COOKIES. There is a COUCH. There is a HUMORLESS FEDERAL AGENT. The HUMORLESS FEDERAL AGENT is SITTING across the TABLE from YOU. He seems ANGRY. He does not BELIEVE your STORY. He was GRILLING you throughout the NIGHT. You are DEAD TIRED. You hear a MAN BEGGING for his LIFE from NEXT DOOR.

HUMORLESS FEDERAL AGENT Says: I knew you would see reason. Now, make the call, get us a location, and we can see about getting you some actual clothes. And no, you don't get to be door gunner during the raid.

The HUMORLESS FEDERAL AGENT PUSHES a CELL PHONE across the TABLE.

[MKSheppard]

I CALL AND SOMEWHAT APOLOGIZE TO MY TWO EX EMPLOYERS AND SAY THAT I'M STUCK IN A SHITHOLE TOWN IN ALABAMA. HOW DO I MEET UP WITH YOU.

[FaxModem1]

I CALL my boss, ANGRY CHINESE RESTAURANT OWNER and inform him of the SITUATION. He decides to call the BOSS of the TRIAD:



It is now OUT of WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY's hands. Although WCD would LOVE to be CATERING SERVICES DIRECTOR.

[Zixinus]

Tell the WHITE CHINESE GUY DELIVERY GUY that he should try to CALM things down with promise of more food. TELL him that we'll pay for any extra food.
TELL PYOTR that the MONEY IN THE FORM OF GOLD is ON IT'S WAY AND WE CANNOT DO ANYTHING TO DELIVER IT FASTER. Have IVAN IVANOV assure PYOTR that PAYMENT is on its way and that he should see a little extra for his patience and some spare firearms if he has any.

Agree somewhat with IVAN IVANOF's point of finance. However, point out that military contracts (for what we would use the bombs) are a, secure and not easy to access, b, likely to be given to reputable PMCs whom we are not and c, will likely attract all kinds of hellish (that is, unwanted and possibly violent) attention. Point out that there is such a thing as anti-satellite weapons. However, agree to look into jobs as soon as I myself can read the FLIGHT MANUAL to see WHAT THIS BABY CAN CARRY and WHAT IT RUNS ON.

Consider an alternative avenue than cargo: let's get a SPACE-TOURIST. It is likely something we can do (the least is some trips around orbit, possibly a visit to the ISS or even a trip to the Moon), the guy will pay tremendus amount of money for the trip and we can make use of SUAVE PLAYBOY's CHARM. This should also mean that the payload is relatively light. We only have to figure out how to APPROACH such an individual.

However, REMIND everyone that we are STILL FUGITIVES and that WE STILL HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE USA.

TELL ETERNAL FREEDOM: We'll likely end up with the FLOYD brothers either way and we should still hang on to them as a scapegoat if anything goes wrong. Plus, they did save us from federal arrest and they likely can still conduct business for us.
Argue against hiring RUSSIANS as private security. We shouldn't be staying here long and somehow I do not like this bunch.

Be reminded of MASTURBATING FILIPINO JANITOR that I should have ordered ADULT DIAPERS. However, think against ordering and consider that we'll have to just HOLD IT IN.

LOOK AT SPACEPLANE EQUIPMENT to see what we can pack up and bring with us.

See if I can have some CHINESE FOOD too. ASK WCDG whether he has any other skills. If he can cook a good deal of good food, I would say that he might be worthwhile although point out to him that things are a bit hectic right now.

[FaxModem1]

WCDG responds by TALKING in CHINESE to ANGRY CHINESE RESTAURANT OWNER about situation. LOUD ARGUMENT FOLLOWS. WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY starts TAKING OUT boxes of CHINESE FOOD out of SACK and handing one TO EACH PERSON in ROOM.

Then WCDG sit on missile to eat some Chicken Lo Mein while ARGUING with ACRO.

[FaxModem1]

WCDG tells Zixnius: "My boss isn't in control any more, the White Polar Bear is going to be deciding what happens next. He's the head of the local Triad and probably doesn't like the fact that the Russians are pushing into his territory."

With that, WCDG EATS HIS MEAL!

[Zixinus]

Introduce myself to WCDG, ask his NAME and his CELLPHONE NUMBER of WHITE POLAR BEAR.

Have IDEA.

Tell WCDG that he is hired for the moment, as "business relationship consultant" and that it might turn out to be full-time employment if he has any SKILLS to offer. Consider FILIPINO JANITOR and that WCDG is unlikely to do much worse.

TALK TO WCDG about WHITE POLAR BEAR and inform him of plan: we need to CALM PYOTR AND HIS GANG DOWN and WE NEED TO KEEP WHITE POLAR BEAR FROM DOING ANYTHING RASH.

Get Ivan Ivanov involved in the discussion and try to create a story that will CALM DOWN PYOTR for a WHILE, until the GOLD ARRIVES. ASK IVAN IVANOV whether PYOTR and his GANG will leave the territory once PAYMENT is given.
DISCUSS whether we can convince PYOTR that hurting us will anger the TRIAD FURTHER. DISCUSS whether it would be a good idea to tell PYOTR that the local TRIAD knows that they are here. Since we have HIRED WCDG, DISCUSS the idea that HURTING US means that he has to hurt WCDG too and THAT WOULD ANGER THE TRIAD.

Meanwhile, ASK ETERNAL FREEDOM whether we can get the RAVENSTAR READY FOR LAUNCH. ASK HIM to CHECK whether it has enough fuel/propellent/etc for a flight to STAR CITY, RUSSIA.

ASK OTHERS to try and PACK any of the VARIOUS EQUIPMENT used to MAINTAINING SPACECRAFT and put in the SPACEPLANE.
But only once they finish their breakfast/dinner/whatever of course.

[FaxModem1]

"Sure, why not?"

http://www.realmofdarkness.net/sounds/w ... oard-2.htm

WCDG tosses cell phone to Zixinus.

"Just be careful, he tends to go on tangents."

[Eternal_Freedom]

AGREE with ZIXINUS plan. CLAMBER into RAVENSTAR COCKPIT and begin FAMILIARISING myself with the CONTROLS. FORTUNATELY, it is far SIMPLER than the X-WINGS of my PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE.

DEPART COCKPIT. REPORT to ZIXINUS that I can HAVE IT READY FOR LAUNCH on FOUR MINUTE'S NOTICE. The FUEL GAUGE reads FULL, although I DON'T KNOW what the FUEL actually is. ACCORDING to FLIGHT MANUAL, a FULL TANK is ENOUGh for a TRIP from EARTH SURFACE to LUNAR SURFACE and BACK AGAIN. PLENTY to REACH STAR CITY.

I have PROGRAMMED the GUIDANCE SYSTEM to TAKE US to STAR CITY when we NEED IT.

[Scottish Ninja]

"Da, RUSSIA sounds good now, no?"

Tell Zixinus that there are probably PEOPLE other than GOVERNMENTS who would like BOMBS DROPPED.

Look up TRACKING NUMBER for GOLD SHIPMENT, since I paid WAY EXTRA for SUPER ULTRA EXPRESS MEGA EXPEDITED SHIPPING.

Show RESULTS to PYOTR if they are GOOD.

"LLOYD BROTHERS are deadweight. We could hold them in BREACH of CONTRACT and seize their ASSET." JERK THUMB towards SPACEPLANE. "However we are also up SHIT CREEK legally. GOOD THING we have PADDLE, no?"

CALL RI'ANN SHAPP. TELL him that we NEED a LOADMASTER, and to MEET US in CANADA. DO NOT SPECIFY WHERE IN CANADA.