Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[Eternal_Freedom]

SEEING the POSSIBLE DANGER, I SUGGEST to the SUAVE PLAYBOY hand the SHOTGUN up here with ME, and then proceed with his STATED OBJECTIVE of GETTING HIGH IN SPACE, as long as IT ISN'T SOMETHING SMOKED.

[Zixinus]

SAY "ActuallyI'veLoadedThatThingWithBirdshot, ItShouldn'TBeTooBadUnlessYouShotTheGlass. SO DON'T SHOOT THE GLASS! AndReallyItsNotLikeYouAreATotalIdiot, nowAreYou? YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT, ARE YOU?! It'sNotLikeYouWouldMadlyStartShootingiInOneDirection, Right? RIGHT?! BesidesEvenIfYouDoMakeAHole, itIsEasyToPatchItUpUnlessYouShootSomethingSensitiveOrCombustible. LIKE THE LOXTANK, DON'T FUCKING IGNITE THE LOX TANK TO KILL US ALL, WILL YOU? Oh,AndDoCheckThatNoise,WillYou,IDon'tWantToFindSomethingWrong. ItWouldBeBetterToFindSomethingWrongBeforeWeReenter. WeDon'tWantToScrewUpReentry. BECAUSE THAT WOULD FUCKING BAD, FUCKITY FUCKING BAD! ANYÁD PICSÁJÁT TE ROHADT FASZ, TE MÉRHETETLEN ROHADÉK AMIÉRT A KIBASZOTT ORSZÁGOT KÉPTELEN VAGY VEZETNI ÉS NEKEM ÉLNEM KELLETT BENNE. BASZD MEG VÉN MARHÁNAK AZ ANNYÁNAK A SZARÁT TE ROHADT TETÜ! TÖNKRETETTÉL MINDENT, AZ ÓRSZÁGOT, A NÉPET, A BÜSZKESÉGÜNKET, A HAGYOMÁNUNKAT, MÉG A CÍMEM SE IGAZI!".

*Shakes seat due to impotent rage for several seconds while SCREAMING IN RAGE.*

HUFF. TAKE DEEP BREATHS. SMILE at the REST of the crew.
SAY: "Did I mention I know a lovely Hungarian song about stars and flying? I think it wouldbelovelyfortheoccasion. May I singittoyou?"

[Eternal_Freedom]

SAY "Go ahead bro, sing us the song." HOPING that this might sotp the STONED RANTING and SCREAMING.

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY will get on with getting HIGH IN SPACE just as soon as he's sure he's not going to be EATEN by GIANT SPACE SPIDERS.

SUAVE PLAYBOY will investigate the PAYLOAD BAY.

[Zixinus]

BEGINS to SING SOFTLY in a BEAUTIFUL TENOR VOICE. The WORDS escape you, but the harmony and tune catch you surprisingly pleasant. The rhythm is slow and almost invisible, yet manages to impose the images of falling towards the cloud, dropping trough the sky and falling into the sea of stars.

It is VERY BEAUTIFUL.

[Scottish Ninja]

Contact STAR CITY on the RADIO. SPEAK only in RUSSIAN. INFORM them that I am COLONEL IVAN IVANOVICH IVANOV of the RUSSIAN AIR FORCE and we NEED TO LAND this PROTOTYPE SPACEPLANE.

[PeZook]

CHAPTER 2: PROBES ON A SPACEPLANE

January 22nd 2025
Wednesday
Wheels Up + 00:49:01

SIMULATION ENGINE RUNNING
TIMEFLOW INTERRUPTED

You are now: ZIXINUS, ETERNAL FREEDOM, SUAVE PLAYBOY, IVAN IVANOV, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY and PHANT

You are on a SPACEPLANE. The SPACEPLANE is FLYING really FAST. It is PILOTED by ETERNAL FREEDOM and ZIXINUS. It is rather CRAMPED. The CONTROLS are CONFIGURED in METRIC UNITS. There is no SCRAM FUEL. There is 40% of MAIN ENGINE FUEL. There is plenty of HYDRAZINE for the APU.

ETERNAL FREEDOM has PUSHED you into an ACTUAL ORBIT. Unfortunately the LACK of an AUTOPILOT means it is FAR FROM OPTIMAL. You are THREE ORBITS away from a REENTRY WINDOW. It TRANSLATES to about FIVE HOURS. You have already FLOWN quite FAR.

ZIXINUS is starting to FREAK OUT due to SOME UNKNOWN FACTOR. He has HANDED his WEAPON over to the SUAVE PLAYBOY. He is SINGING. It is VERY BEAUTIFUL.

IVAN IVANOV is TALKIN on the RADIO with RUSSIAN AIRSPACE CONTROLLERS. They are quite ACCOMODATING but INFORM you of AIRSPACE ENTRY FEES you will have to PAY. They also ADVISE you to make ASSURANCES to the AIR DEFENCE COMPANIES that you can PAY their AIRSPACE PROTECTION FEES or they will BLOW YOU UP. RUSSIA has TRULY became a CAPITALIST PARADISE for the ENTERPRENEUR. ATLAS will CERTAINLY not SHRUG there!

SUAVE PLAYBOY decides to CHECK the CONTENTS of the PAYLOAD BAY. Since there is no DOOR connecting the PASSENGER SECTION to the PAYLOAD BAY, he uses the LOADMASTER'S STATION to SNEAK a PEEK via the CAMERAS.

SUAVE PLAYBOY ACTIVATES the CAMERAS. He sees the ROBOTIC PROBE that you have LOADED before SCRAMMING. It is ACTIVE. It has OPENED an ACCESS PANEL. The ACCESS PANEL looks quite VITAL. It is WAGGING its ANAL PROBE ATTACHMENT in SATISFACTION.

An ALARM goes OFF.



Despite the EXTENDED RADIATOR your SYSTEMS COOLANT has become PRETTY HOT. According to the SPACEPLANE MANUAL, if it GETS any HOTTER, your COMPUTERS will FAIL, and you will quite possibly DIE. It APPEARS to be a SYSTEMS FAILURE of SOME SORT.

What do you do? _

***

Wheels Up + 00:49:12

SIMULATION ENGINE RUNNING
TIMEFLOW INTERRUPTED

You are now: RI'ANN SHAPP, FILIPINO JANITOR, LARGE IRRITABLE DOG.

You are on an UNAPPROVED SPACEPLANE. The UNAPPROVED SPACEPLANE is FREE of its ROCKET BOOSTER. The UNAPPROVED SPACEPLANE is VERY CRAMPED. You are STRAPPED into your SEATS. The CONTROLS are no longer LOCKED OUT. There is a faint SMELL of POOP.

You have FLOWN this BITCH into ORBIT like a PRO. You have NO IDEA where you LEARNED to do THAT. It is still quite AWESOME.

The FILIPINO JANITOR and the LARGE IRRITABLE DOG are WHIMPERING in the BACK SEATS. You are FLYING really FAST over the ATLANTIC. You are CATCHING UP to your QUARRY. You will INTERCEPT it in less than ten MINUTES. Your RADAR SAID so.

You have no MEANS of ATTACKING them. It is VERY SURREAL. It is LIKELY the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT did not EXPECT you to SURVIVE the ASCENT. It PROBABLY won't MATTER anyway, as your THIRD ORBIT will TAKE you over the RUSSIAN ABM BATTERIES near MOSCOW.

What do you do? _

[Scottish Ninja]

CALL the GRU. ASK if they are going to PAY these BRIBES or just tell the AIRSPACE CONTROLLERS to JUST SHUT UP and LET US LAND.

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY stares at the MONITOR

"OH my god there really is a giant space spider and it's gonna eat us!"

SUAVE PLAYBOY calms down rapidly however.

"No wait, it can't get to us here there's no door, and the spider's made of metal...Is that open thingy it's got there important?"

SUAVE PLAYBOY somehow does not notice the ALARM.

[Shroom Man 777]

REVEALS to R'IANN SHAPP and the LARGE IRRITABLE DOG the TRUE NATURE of the TERRORISTS' PLANS

Becomes ASHAMED of COMPLICITNESS in the TERROR PLOT

OFFERS to SACRIFICE SELF in a NOBLE ACT of STOPPING the TERRORISTS by JUMPING off the UNAPPROVED SPACEPLANE and ATTACKING the SPACEPLANE

R'IANN SHAPP ASKS "WITH WHAT?"

RESPOND by POOPING out a FOLDABLE AXE

BEGIN SHRIEKING NORSE BATTLE CRIES

ROCK OUT

[Eternal_Freedom]

MUTTER "Ah shite. EXTEND RADIATOR again, see if that works."
Spoiler

How exactly are we out of SCRAM fuel and down to 40% main engine fuel? We were fully loaded, I don't think I burnt that much, even on my insane full-power ascent

BEGINS to CONTEMPLATE REFUELLING at ISS.

[PeZook]

Spoiler

Going to LEO in the Ravenstar burns off most of the SCRAM fuel, and you will typically end up with 60% main fuel or less, except your vertical takeoff is hella inefficient because the XR-2 is not shaped like a rocket.

The good thing, though, is that you can go to the moon with ease on 60% fuel once you are in orbit

[Zixinus]

BEGINS TO DANCE MERRILY!
Spoiler

Regarding the cargo by doors: I noticed that there is a hatch leading to it from the passenger section as well as it being open the external door. How does that work? Can the cargo bay be pressurized?

[PeZook]

Spoiler

It can't be pressurized, but it can be furnished with an additional crew habitation module housing niceties like a toilet. The hatch is not an airlock, and remains locked without the module installed.

[FaxModem1]

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY looks around for SPACE SUITS, just in CASE.

"Do we have permission to land yet?"

[Zixinus]

Spoiler

We have spacesuits?

[PeZook]

CHAPTER 2: PROBES ON A SPACEPLANE

January 22nd 2025
Wednesday
Wheels Up + 00:51:09

SIMULATION ENGINE RUNNING
TIMEFLOW INTERRUPTED

You are now: ZIXINUS, ETERNAL FREEDOM, SUAVE PLAYBOY, IVAN IVANOV, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY, BITCHING BETTY and PHANT

You are on a SPACEPLANE. The SPACEPLANE is FLYING really FAST. It is PILOTED by ETERNAL FREEDOM and ZIXINUS. It is rather CRAMPED. The CONTROLS are CONFIGURED in METRIC UNITS. There is no SCRAM FUEL. There is 40% of MAIN ENGINE FUEL. There is plenty of HYDRAZINE for the APU. There is a HOMICIDAL ROBOTIC PROBE in the PAYLOAD BAY. It is currently SABOTAGING the SPACEPLANE.

ETERNAL FREEDOM is FRANTICALLY trying to EXTEND the RADIATOR by FLIPPING a COCKPIT SWITCH. The COCKPIT SWITCH is CLICKING. It is VERY FRUSTRATING, because NOTHING is HAPPENING.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!

ZIXINUS is SINGING MERRILY and WHIRLING in FREEFAL like a MANIAC. IVAN IVANOV is TALKING ANGRILY on the RADIO. It doesn't LOOK like you will GET a PERMISSION to LAND just YET.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!

ZIXINUS BARFS in the AIR. It is VERY NASTY. The BARF begins to SWIRL in the AIR. SUAVE PLAYBOY begins to FREAK OUT over the ROBOTIC PROBE. Also the FACT nobody is PAYING ATTENTION to HIM.

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY has FOUND a SINGLE SPACESUIT inside the FORWARD AIRLOCK. He has GAINED some EXPERIENCE POINTS.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!

There is SOUND of DRILLING from the PAYLOAD BAY.

What do you do? _

***

Wheels Up + 00:52:32

SIMULATION ENGINE RUNNING
TIMEFLOW INTERRUPTED

You are now: RI'ANN SHAPP, FILIPINO JANITOR, LARGE IRRITABLE DOG.

You are on an UNAPPROVED SPACEPLANE. The UNAPPROVED SPACEPLANE is FREE of its ROCKET BOOSTER. The UNAPPROVED SPACEPLANE is VERY CRAMPED. You are STRAPPED into your SEATS. The CONTROLS are no longer LOCKED OUT. There is a SMELL of POOP. It is no longer FAINT.

The FILIPINO JANITOR seems SORRY for his COMPLICITNESS in the EVIL TERRORIST PLOT to STEAL the SPACEPLANE. He DECIDES to MAKE AMENDS by DOING a SUICIDE LEAP. When ASKED about a WEAPON, he OPENS his SPACESUIT and BEGINS to STRAIN and SWEAT. He ALSO grunts. The SMELL of POOP is GROWING EVER STRONGER. It is HORRIBLE.

The LARGE IRRITABLE DOG begins to WHIMPER again. You can now SEE the SPACEPLANE. It is CLOSING SLOWLY. You are BEHIND it.

What do you do? _

[Zixinus]

CURIOUSLY (with some backvoice of sanity) INVESTIGATE what SUAVE PLAYBOY is ON ABOUT WHILE SINGING MERRILY.

RECOGNIZE ROBOT PROBE. BE VERY ANGRY and WAVE MEMORY MODULE in INTERNAL CAMERA. TAKE BACK SHOTGUN. DEMAND to be SUITED UP in SPACESUIT so I may "KILL THE SHITFUCKER"!
Spoiler

Why did I barf? Is that an effect of the drugs or something?

Also, would there be a way to get the robot back on "our side"? Logically, it just seems to be out for our blood for no reason.

[Eternal_Freedom]

GROW INCRASINGLY WORRIED about COOLAND TEMPERATURE. BGEIN FLIPPING throug the MANUAL to SEE WHAT CAN BE DONE.

CONSIDER the ROBOT PROBE. BRIEFLY CONSIDER opening the PAYLOAD BAY to SPACE.

DISMISS that IDEA as IT'S A BLOODY ROBOT. Tell ZIXINUS it's a GOOD IDEA, but someone who ISN'T STONED should go. Also SOMEONE WITH FIREARMS EXPERIENCE.

I'm LOOKING AT YOU, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY!

EDIT: Spoiler

Is that memory module from the robo-probe? Perhaps plugging it back in might remove the probes homocidal urges?

Also, when are we allowed to notice the other spaceplane?

[Zixinus]

Tell that is VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD, HAND SHOTGUN to WCDG along with MULTITOOL. SAY that I'LL PROVIDE TACTICAL AND MORAL SUPPORT.

CURSE the ROBOT. WAVE MEMORY MODULE AROUND.

[PeZook]

Spoiler

ZIXINUS BaRFED because of SPACE ADAPTATION SYNDROME (AKA SPACE SICKNESS).

Also, you have no idea why the probe went homicidal.

[MKSheppard]

I check the MFDs. I suddenly FIND that I am carrying an AN/APG-190 SEARCH AND FIRE CONTROL RADAR in the NOSE.

Checking further, I find that I have a BRACE of SIM-9XXL SPACEWINDERS in a weapons bay.

I TELL the FEELEPINO JANITOR that there is NO NEED TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF HEROICALLY as much as I WOULD LIKE IT -- besides I NEED CORROBATION OF MY STORY for the UNSMILING FEDERAL AGENTS.

I REMOVE THE HELMET FROM THE DOG'S SPACESUIT AND TELL IT TO GUARD THE JANITOR.

THE DOG IS SUFFERING SOMEWHAT FROM SPACE ADAPTION SICKNESS AND WHINES/WHIMPERS/GROWLS AT THE JANITOR IN AFFIRMATION.

[Shroom Man 777]

PAT the LARGE IRRITABLE DOG

Gets HAND BITTEN by the LARGE IRRITABLE DOG

FLAILS in PAIN and ACCIDENTALLY PUSHES the MISSILE LAUNCH BUTTON

A SIM-9XXL SPACEWINDER LAUNCHES FROM the UNAPPROVED SPACEPLANE and NARROWLY MISSES the STOLEN SPACEPLANE we are CHASING

The SPACEWINDER SHOOTS PAST the STOLEN SPACEPLANE

THE TERRORISTS now KNOW that THEY are BEING FOLLOWED

GETS SMACKED BY SHEP for the DISPLAY OF UTTER INCOMPETENCE

VOMITS BACK at SHEP's FACE

CONVULSES as EXCREMENT and EXCRETIONS START GOING OUT of BOTH HOLES

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY displays INITIATIVE WITHOUT APTITUDE and attempts to put on the SPACESUIT.

SUAVE PLAYBOY mutters something about doing battle with GIANT SPACE ROBOT SPIDERS in SPACE.

[PeZook]

CHAPTER 2: PROBES ON A SPACEPLANE

January 22nd 2025
Wednesday
Wheels Up + 01:01:39

SIMULATION ENGINE RUNNING
TIMEFLOW INTERRUPTED

You are now: ZIXINUS, ETERNAL FREEDOM, SUAVE PLAYBOY, IVAN IVANOV, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY, BITCHING BETTY, ROBOTIC PROBE and PHANT

You are on a SPACEPLANE. The SPACEPLANE is FLYING really FAST. It is PILOTED by ETERNAL FREEDOM and ZIXINUS. It is rather CRAMPED. The CONTROLS are CONFIGURED in METRIC UNITS. There is no SCRAM FUEL. There is 40% of MAIN ENGINE FUEL. There is plenty of HYDRAZINE for the APU. There is a HOMICIDAL ROBOTIC PROBE in the PAYLOAD BAY. It is currently SABOTAGING the SPACEPLANE. The SYSTEMS COOLANT is GETTING PRETTY HOT. There is a cloud of BARF. It is FLOATING around the CABIN.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!

ETERNAL FREEDOM has CONSULTED the MANUAL and DISCOVERED there is a PROVISION to VENT the HEAT into the INTERNAL ATMOSPHERE. It SHOULD buy you about HALF and HOUR before you get COOKED ALIVE.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!

Therefore, and EMERGENCY PROCEDURE is INITIATED to SHOVE SUAVE PLAYBOY out the AIRLOCK so that he can KILL the ROBOTIC PROBE with a SHOTGUN. SHOCKINGLY, he VOLUNTEERS and BEGINS to PUT your ONLY SPACESUIT on. It takes a LONG TIME before it is ON. You HOPE you did it PROPERLY and he won't DIE a HORRIBLE and MESSY DEATH in SPACE.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!

SUAVE PLAYBOY is STUFFED into the AIRLOCK and then GOES OUTSIDE. It is VERY BEAUTIFUL.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!

SUAVE PLAYBOY Says: Whoa.

You TRACK SUAVE PLAYBOY'S PROGRESS through the WINDOWS. You ENCOURAGE him by WAVING your HANDS quite FRANTICALLY. He PROCEEDS towards the PAYLOAD BAY. He SEES something COMING UP from BEHIND your SPACEPLANE.

SUAVE PLAYBOY Says: Hey guys uh there's another plane out there! Awesome, maybe they can help us...oh hey they're opening their bay, what are...



SUAVE PLAYBOY SCREAMS like a LITTLE GIRL

SUAVE PLAYBOY Says: MARY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!

A MISSILE SCREAMS past the SPACEPLANE, SINGING the COCKPIT WINDOWS. SUAVE PLAYBOY'S SPACE SUIT is BURNED and BEGINS to LEAK PRECIOUS OXYGEN. Ther is a POP. A DRILL BIT PENETRATES the BULKHEAD into the PASSENGER CABIN.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!

What do you do? _

***

Wheels Up + 01:01:39

SIMULATION ENGINE RUNNING
TIMEFLOW INTERRUPTED

You are now: RI'ANN SHAPP, FILIPINO JANITOR, LARGE IRRITABLE DOG.

You are on an UNAPPROVED SPACEPLANE. The UNAPPROVED SPACEPLANE is FREE of its ROCKET BOOSTER. The UNAPPROVED SPACEPLANE is VERY CRAMPED. You are STRAPPED into your SEATS. The CONTROLS are no longer LOCKED OUT. There is a SMELL of POOP. It is no longer FAINT. The is a LOT of VOMIT and POOP in the AIR. It is SPLASHING all OVER the INSTRUMENTS.

You have LAUNCHED the SPACE SIDEWINDER missile. It HAPPENED by ACCIDENT. The SPACE SIDEWINDER has MISSED. It APPEARS to have had no SEEKER INSTALLED. Possibly no WARHEAD, TOO.

Your INSTRUMENTS are SHORTING OUT due to the VOMIT and POOP that is DRIFTING around the CABIN. You have LOST your RADAR. The CONTROLS are not RESPONDING. The LARGE IRRITABLE DOG is WHIMPERING and CHUCKING its DINNER. There are some HUMAN FINGERS in it.

The FILIPINO JANITOR has become COMPLETELY USELESS. He is only ADDING to the MESS due to his SPACE ADAPTATION SYNDROME.

RI'ANN SHAPP feels like BARFING as WELL.

What do you do? _