Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[PeZook]

You can't HEAR explosions in SPACE.

[Shroom Man 777]

REVEALS that INSANE FILIPINO has been TAKING HALLUCINOGENS DURING FLIGHT and has been able to PERCEIVE SENSORY STIMULI in WAYS THAT SCIENCE CANNOT UNDERSTAND

NOT ONLY was he ABLE to SEE the EXPLODING SPACEPLANE but ALSO HEAR IT and TASTE IT TOO

[Zixinus]

Spoiler

That explains so much.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Say: "Burn in 90 seconds. Zixinus, when you have a moment, put that other insane shit-filled suit back in the airlock, we can alwasy get rid of him easily if we have to then."

[Darkevilme]

Spoiler

Airlocks have internal handles to control the inner and outer doors, you want to put a shit stained lunatic in the airlock while conducting re-entry. I'm no spaceflight expert but something tells me the airlock opening during re-entry would be a doubleplus ungood thing.

[Zixinus]

Spoiler

Yeah, strapping him down would be the best course of action. Either that, or kill him outright.

Also, the nosecone HAS to be CLOSED during re-entry, whether the external doors are open or not.

[Eternal_Freedom]

say: "Very well, strap him down. But put him in sight of Ivan. Ivan? If that insane guy makes a move, you shoot him. Don't even hesitate."

[Scottish Ninja]

Give the INSANE FILIPINO an ICY GLARE.

RELOAD the IMITATION AMERICAN TOKAREV.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Say: "Wait, that fucker looks familiar...Shit! It's that mad fillipino janitor that threw me out the fucking window! Screw it Ivan, shoot the bastard. But make it non-lethal. Like his dick or something."

[Zixinus]

STOP IVAN IVANOV FROM SHOOTING.

SAY "Do you want MORE of a MESS and ANOTHER HOLE? If you have to kill him, strangle him. But right now, forget about him and focus on piloting. We have bigger problems than a mad janitor. "

[Shroom Man 777]

WAKE UP and SCREAM and CONFESS TO THEM that THE CIA TORTURED HIM and the DEAF LOADMASTER PUT HIM UP TO IT and it was ALL THEIR FAULT and THEY HAVE MY FAMILY and I HAD NO CHOICE and they would GIVE ME A GREEN CARD if I COMPLETED THE MISSION

THEN start BAWLING AND CRYING AND BLUBBERING and OPEN MOUTH WIDE to SHOW IT STAINED AND FILLED WITH SHIT

[Eternal_Freedom]

Say: "Listen you fucker. I don't care what your story is. You threw me out a fucking window, you abandoned the rest of us, and then you try and kill the Playboy and eventually the rest of us. We only picked you up because you we're stuck to our guy. So sit down, shut up and for the love of all that's holy, DON'T SHIT or PUKE ANYMORE!"
Spoiler

Shouldn't we have started re-enty by now?

[Shroom Man 777]

SCREAM: YOU LEFT ME BEHIND TO GET EATEN BY A DOG!

[Eternal_Freedom]

Ivan, knock him unconscious again please

[Shroom Man 777]

BEGINS HURLING PROJECTILE VOMIT at ETERNAL FREEDOM's FACE

[FaxModem1]

"Ugh, first thing I'm doing in Australia is getting a shower."

[Zixinus]

Say "You and me both. Remind me to get barf bags. But if you think this is bad, keep in mind that we have to clean this up once we can land."

GAG FILIPINO JANITOR and REMIND EVERYONE that we have MORE IMPORTANT things to focus on.

[Shroom Man 777]

VOMIT IN THE GAG AND START MAKING GROTESQUE GURGLING CHOKING NOISES

[Eternal_Freedom]

Say: "Urgh. Anyway, everyone brace for re-entry."

[FaxModem1]

WCDG wipes the windows of the SPACEPLANE before strapping into his seat so that ETERNAL FREEDOM can see where to land. Since vomit and equations are difficult to see through.

[Zixinus]

THANK ETERNAL FREEDOM. PRAISE HIM for GOOD INITIATIVE (although we mostly rely on the HUD console but it's a good idea either way).

[FaxModem1]

"ETERNAL FREEDOM is flying this thing. I'm the one who wiped. The vomiting janitor is the cause of all the frustration."

WCDG looks for a trash bin to put away dirty vomit and ink covered cloth. Decides on putting it on janitor's head.

[PeZook]

CHAPTER 2: PROBES ON A SPACEPLANE

January 22nd 2025
Wednesday
Wheels Up + 01:07:23

SIMULATION ENGINE RUNNING
TIMEFLOW INTERRUPTED

You are now: ZIXINUS, ETERNAL FREEDOM, IVAN IVANOV, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY, BITCHING BETTY, ROBOTIC PROBE, INSANE FILIPINO, PHANT and FUCKER NEWTON.

You are on a SPACEPLANE. The SPACEPLANE is FLYING really FAST. It is PILOTED by ETERNAL FREEDOM and ZIXINUS. It is rather CRAMPED. The CONTROLS are CONFIGURED in METRIC UNITS. There is no SCRAM FUEL. There is 40% of MAIN ENGINE FUEL. There is plenty of HYDRAZINE for the APU. There is a ROBOTIC PROBE in the CABIN. It is not HOMICIDAL for the TIME BEING. The SYSTEMS COOLANT is again GETTING HOTTER. The AIR is no longer VENTING from the CABIN. There is much PEE and VOMIT in the AIR. It STINKS a LOT. You are less than THREE MINUTES from a BURN.

You have RECOVERED two PASSENGERS. One is UNWANTED. You PULLED them INSIDE along with COPIOUS amounts of POO and BLOOD. They are WOUNDED. The are BLEEDING. It looks VERY PAINFUL.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!

ZIXINUS administers some BASIC FIRST AID to SUAVE PLAYBOY and FILIPINO JANITOR. Their WOUNDS are very NASTY and will likely get INFECTED in the near FUTURE. You STRAP the INSANE JANITOR in a vacant SEAT so that he doesn't CAUSE any more PROBLEMS.

You are ONE MINUTE away from your DECELERATION BURN. There is much CHAOS as EVERYONE attempts to STRAP IN. THAT FUCKER NEWTON is INTERFERING a LOT.

ETERNAL FREEDOM Says: Ivan? Keep an eye on that guy. If he makes a move, shoot hi...

ETERNAL FREEDOM does a DOUBLE TAKE and RECOGNIZES the INSANE FILIPINO despite his MUTATION. He becomes IRRATIONAL and tells IVAN IVANOV to SHOOT the INSANE FILIPINO. Like, right now!

You are TWENTY SECONDS away from the BURN.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!

ZIXINUS YELLS not to DO that because of the RISK of DAMAGE to the SPACEPLANE. INSANE FILIPINO suddenly WAKES UP and begins to tell a SOB STORY about how he was FORCED to HUNT you DOWN by the CIA. He begins to CRY and BLUBBER and BAWL like a BROKEN MAN. It is QUITE PATETHIC.

ETERNAL FREEDOM begins a SCREED about being ANGRY about the DEFENESTRATION INCIDENT from EARLIER this MONTH. He SCREAMS at the INSANE FILIPINO. The INSANE FILIPINO SCREAMS back about how you BETRAYED HIM and LEFT him to DIE a PAINFUL DEATH. He OPENS his MOUTH and shows a DISTURBING IMAGE. It has been CENSORED out. Even this INSANITY has LIMITS. Somewhere.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!
BITCHING BETTY Says: Acceleration alert!

INSANE FILIPINO hurls some PROJECTILE VOMIT towards the COCKPIT.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Ignition



The COMPUTER fires the MAIN ENGINES on the PROGRAMMED BURN. The VOMIT flies BACK towards the FILIPINO JANITOR and SPLATTERS on his FACE. ZIXINUS slams into the BULKHEAD due to the ACCELERATION. The ROBOTIC PROBE slams into ZIXINUS as nobody SECURED it. It is VERY PAINFUL.

The INSANE FILIPINO CHOKES on his own VOMIT and begins to GURGLE.

The BURN is COMPLETE after TWO MINUTES. The ROBOTIC PROBE BEEPS and ANNOUNCES it has COMPLETED reactivating the MEMORY CORE. It IMMEDIATELY takes a DEFENSIVE POSTURE and HISSES menacingly at IVAN IVANOV. WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY begins to CLEAN various DISGUSTING STUFF the WINDSHIELD.

You are FIFTEEN MINUTES from ENTRY INTERFACE.

BITCHING BETTY Says: Warning! Coolant temperature!

Your SYSTEMS COOLANT is at 100 degrees. It will begin to BOIL very SOON. The AIR inside the CABIN is also GETTING VERY HOT. You are all SWEATING PROFUSELY.

Wheels Up + 01:12:13

What do you do? _

[Eternal_Freedom]

Say: "All right, de-orbit burn complete. Let's land this fucker."

[Zixinus]

SQUEEZE AWAY FROM ROBOT PROBE. GROAN in PAIN. Go BACK to CO-PILOT's SEAT and STRAP IN.

SAY "We appear to not have a choice. Even if we repair the radiator, it won't cool things down before re-entry. Let's hope that it closes."

GET READY FOR RE-ENTRY. CLOSE NOSECONE, CLOSE RADIATORS and SHUT DOWN ALL NON-essential systems (for landing) in attempt to not heat things up more than necessary.

Apologize to WCDG and explain that I have a lot on my mind.