Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[PeZook]

There is a GPS RECEIVER in the SPACEPLANE. The MAPPING SOFTWARE doesn't WORK, but it GIVES you COORDINATES.

-4.439076, 145.100842

The is also a MAGNETIC COMPASS. It is OPERATIONAL.

[Lonestar]

"AHA!" says SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR. "We are on the northern Coast of New Guinea."

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR notes that CANNIBALS inhabit New Guinea, and tries to determine WHO HE SHOULD EAT FIRST in order to fit in.

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR Walks out and TRIES TO MATCH the coordinates with the beer stained map.

[Shroom Man 777]

CACKLES FOR NO REASON

WHEN IN TRUTH I KNOW A GREAT AND TERRIBLE SECRET

"MU-WA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!!!!!"

[Zixinus]

ROLL EYES at SAILOR.
SAY "We're in a jungle. We have to clean up the runway and the hangar itself from foilage. How do you propose we do that, with our bare hands or teeth? If you are so big a survivalist, why not go and hunt some extra food or something?"

USE NAVIGATIONAL SKILL and TABLET to determine our location. Determine that there is a town called Gurube to the east.

FIND ENERGY BARS in SPORTS BAG. Give some to others and eat one or two myself so I can concentrate.

TALK TO SUAVE PLAYBOY. ASK ETERNAL FREEDOM for his AMEX CARD and give it to SUAVE PLAYBOY, so he can go to Gurube and get us some SUPPLIES. But DON'T LET HIM GO until we decide on a shopping list.

I propose we add the following to the shopping list:
- cleaning supplies for hangar and spaceplane
- work clothes and underwear
- canned food and utensils
- sleeping bags
- any needed tools described by WCDG

Once that is done, propose that we UNLOAD the RAVENSTAR from all the stuff inside.

[PeZook]

You no longer HAVE a TABLET. You now HAVE an OBSOLETE PC in the HANGAR.

[Lonestar]

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR notes that none of YOU FUCKERS know how to use paper maps.

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR also NOTES that the MAGYAR thinks "Tarmac" and "Runway" are the same thing.

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR considers BRAINING the MAGYAR with the E-tool.

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY asks the obvious QUESTIONS of the ODDLY HELPFUL SAILORMAN namely WHO IS HE? and WHY IS HE HERE?

SUAVE PLAYBOY also insists to ZIXINUS he be provided with a WEAPON of some kind before braving the POSSIBLY WILDERNESS in a quest for SUPPLIES.

[Lonestar]

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR says that he goes where FELLOW MILIARISTS are IN NEED.

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR begins to set the VEGETATION on the TARMAC on FIRE with some STORMPROOF matches he carries at ALL TIMES.

[Zixinus]

GIVE NOT-TOO-RUSTY PARANG to SUAVE PLAYBOY. Tell him to forget about the shopping list and instead, just buy a truck or an off-roader or something similar and come back with some pizza or whatever. We'll do the shopping together.
Note that we should CHECK IN with a local doctor.

ASK SAILOR whether he thinks it's a good idea to start a big fire near a HANGAR filled with PRESSURIZED TANKS of HIGHLY FLAMMABLE and/or EXPLOSIVE MATERIALS. ASK whether he considered that this might start a forest fire.

CHECK INVENTORY. CHECK SPORTS BAGS (seriously, if we lost the tablet, what do we have?). CHECK to see if OLD COMPUTER has INTERTUBE connection of some sort.

Go inside HANGAR and propose to WCDG that we should UNLOAD the RAVENSTAR. I'LL START.
GET MEDKIT from RAVENSTAR. USE IT to temporarily treat sickness. USE IT ON anyone REQUIRED. Note that we should CHECK IN with a local doctor.

I'LL CHECK to SEE whether the ROBOT PROBE is STILL ONBOARD.

I MAKE SURE to THROW OUT THE ROTTEN CHINESE TAKEOUT far from the hangar. In fact, in a sudden idea, I USE ROTTEN TAKEOUT as LURE and SET SIMPLE TRAPS from JUNK AROUND THE HANGAR.
Spoiler

I've never heard of "tarmac" before. A quick search in the dictionary sort of given me the idea that it was a road covering, like asphalt. Since we were in the middle nowhere, I sort of assumed that the tarmak was the runway.[/OOC]

[FaxModem1]

"This thing isn't going anywhere without fuel. In the meantime, I'll see what I can do to fix the instrumentation and interior."

WCDG also checks the REPLACED RADIO to see if its worth a damn and isn't AUSTRALIAN BOOBY TRAP. WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY SURVEYS parts needed for REPAIRS.

[Eternal_Freedom]

CONSULT with ZIXINUS. OFFER to use my BADASS skills to EXECUTE SHEPP and JANITOR. Whilst lettign ZIXINUS consider the OFFER, HELP UNLOAD the RAVENSTAR.

[Scottish Ninja]

JANITORIALIZE the INTERIOR of the RAVENSTAR so that it is no longer DISGUSTING.

Use the OBSOLETE PC to SEND an EMAIL UPDATE to my GRU HANDLER through a PROXY.

MODIFY SIMPLE TRAPS into ELABORATE SIMPLE TRAPS using MASKIROVKA.

DOWNLOAD TRAINING MANUAL for SPETSNAZ BACKFLIPPING HATCHET ATTACK, also subvariety SPETSNAZ BACKFLIPPING MACHETE ATTACK.

[Shroom Man 777]

LAUGH as RUSSIAN DOES MENIAL JANITORIAL LABOR INSTEAD OF MYSELF

[Zixinus]

Point out to JANITOR that despite his title, he has not done one ounce of work. Especially not by himself. Nor did he ever offer to help.
Keep that in mind if we are to make money here.

[Scottish Ninja]

Ask COMBAT JANITOR if he is willing to go on a SPECIAL MISSION to go get GUNS from the FEELIPEENS, since we don't have any anymore.

IF SO, USE the RADIO to CALL a RUSSIAN TRAWLER doing NOT MUCH FISHING to come INSHORE, PICK UP COMBAT JANITOR, take him to the FEELIPEENS, and BRING HIM BACK.

SUGGEST that he also bring back some kind of FILIPINO BOOZE, and other FOOD and SUPPLIES that we might NEED.
Spoiler

I see balut in our future...

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY has been armed with a FUNNY SHAPED KNIFE and provided with PEDAL POWERED TRANSPORTATION. SUAVE PLAYBOY attempts to travel to the town of GURUBE taking the MAP to navigate with.

Once in the TOWN he will attempt to purchase BETTER TRANSPORTATION.

[Shroom Man 777]

IGNORE ZIXINUS' PASSIVE AGGRESSIVENESS and CONTINUE TO DO NOTHING as NO ONE HAS REQUESTED MY JANITORIAL SERVICES

BE REALLY SMUG ABOUT IT TOO

[Scottish Ninja]

"And what about that MISSION I offered you?"

[Zixinus]

SAY "I wasn't being passive aggressive. I meant that I'll keep that fact in mind if payroll comes around. I'm pretty much the acting financial manager at the moment, as Phant is still in shock. Yeah, he's useless but he has an excuse." Sigh. "Look, I'm sorry, OK? I've been nearly anally raped by a robot, almost had my fingers cut off by a russian arms trader, chased by feds, swallowed vacuum, nearly got anally raped by a robot again and the day is still young. I'm a bit edgy right now. We are rock bottom right now, especially financially and we need to work as much as we need to get out of there. We need you too."

[Lonestar]

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR doesin't GIVE two SHITS bout starting a forest fire.

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR notes that is VERY HUMID and it will be hard to get a forest fire started. SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR further notes that we just have to CLOSE the hanger doors.

[Shroom Man 777]

"And what about that MISSION I offered you?"

Is it even POSSIBLE? Where is the SHORE? WHY can't we just LEAVE on the SHIP and GO LIVE IN THE FEELIPEENS?

OFFER A CONCILIATORY HUG to ZIXINUS and SAY that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, HIS MUSTACHE is still the MOST BEAUTIFUL

[Scottish Ninja]

DA. COAST is NOT FAR. Only TEN KILOMETERS to NORTH. SUAVE PLAYBOY can DRIVE YOU if he comes back with CAR.

As for all of us going to live in the FEELIPEENS, that may be OPTION. But we must fly RAVENSTAR if we are to be RICH and BUY 600 MERC for ALL OF US. Right now HERE is BEST PLACE to DO IT FROM, and we need WEAPONS to DEFEND this AIRFIELD.

Perhaps you could SCOUT OUT some POTENTIAL BASES for us in the FEELIPEENS. Then maybe we move there and all have GOOD TIME, da?

[Shroom Man 777]

DA I will GO TO FEELIPEENS while YOU FLY PLANE. IS GOOD.

CACKLE SUDDENLY AND INEXPLICABLY

[FaxModem1]

WCDG shouts to STIRLITZ THE RUSSIAN SPY

"If you want to be rich, we're going to need fuel and more spare parts, because without those, this thing is just a glorified paperweight.

Also, this place is a dump, where are we supposed to sleep?"

WCDG continues REPAIRS on RAVENSTAR.

[PeZook]

February 22nd 2025
Saturday



Abandoned airbase
Another middle of nowhere

ROUND 2

You are now: ZIXINUS, ETERNAL FREEDOM, PHANT, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY, RI'ANN SHAPP, LARGE IRRITABLE DOG, COMBAT JANITOR, SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR and STIRLITZ THE RUSSIAN SPY.

You are SICK. It SUCKS ASS. You are SLOWLY getting OVER the TEAR GAS POISONING.

You are OUTSIDE. You are in a JUNGLE. There is an OLD HANGAR. There is a slab of TARMAC and a RUNWAY. There is a SPACEPLANE. The SPACEPLANE is MAGNIFICENT. It is NOON. It is EVEN HOTTER. Also EVEN MORE HUMID.

RI'ANN SHAPP is CAMPING out in the OPEN with LARGE IRRITABLE DOG and COMBAT JANITOR. They SEEM to have CALMED DOWN a BIT.

COMBAT JANITOR CACKLES.

ZIXINUS is ORGANIZING again. He INSPECTS the SPORTS BAGS and FIND many GOODIES. The SPORTS BAGS CONTAIN stuff that is SUSPICIOUSLY WELL SUITED to ALLOWING you to RUN FLIGHT OPERATIONS.

Code: Select all

===CONTAINER: Sports bags===
 - A DOZEN FLIGHT SUITS
 - ITEMS OF PERSONAL HYGENE
 - SMALL HAND TOOLS
 - Enough EMERGENCY RATIONS for SEVERAL DAYS
 - WATER PURIFICATION TABLETS
 - FLASHLIGHTS
 - DRAB UNDERWEAR
 - HANDHELD RADIOS

Only ONE bag contained NORMAL FOOD. It was APPROPRIATED by RI'ANN SHAPP and is now being DEVOURED by his LITTLE CLIQUE.

COMBAT JANITOR CACKLES.

Satisfies, ZIXINUS begins to SET a bunch of PRIMITIVE TRAPS that are QUICKLY UPGRADED into SURPRISINGLY SOPHISTICATED TRAPS by STIRLITZ THE RUSSIAN SPY.

Meanwhile, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY begins REPAIRS using your SPARE PARTS. He MANAGES to FIX UP most of the DAMAGED INSTRUMENTATION. You SUPPLY of SPARE PARTS is REDUCED to 8 ITEMS.

After UPGRADING the TRAPS, STRILITZ THE RUSSIAN SPY BOARDS the SPACEPLANE and BEGINS to quickly JANITORIALIZE the INTERIOR. It soon BECOMES really SPOTLESS. It STARTS to SMELL of CHEAP RUSSIAN VODKA, though. COMBAT JANITOR starts to ACT really SMUG towards STIRLITZ THE RUSSIAN SPY.

COMBAT JANITOR CACKLES.

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR starts a FIRE. There is much SMOKE but not much FLAME. The SMOKE covers the ENTIRE AREA in a HAZE. SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR is SMARMY towards PROTESTS that he MIGHT make the HANGAR EXPLODERIZE.

STIRLITZ THE RUSSIAN SPY proposes a SECRET MISSION to COMBAT JANITOR. COMBAT JANITOR AGREES. STIRLITZ MAKES a SUSPCIOUS CALL on the RADIO and RECEIVES some COORDINATES in RETURN. The COORDINATES are on the SHORE.

COMBAT JANITOR CACKLES.

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY POINTS OUT that the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE is COMPLETELY UNFUELED. SUAVE PLAYBOY has LEFT on his GRAND ADVENTURE.

There is a *PING* from the OBSOLETE PC. You have RECEIVED an EMAIL.

FROM: RUSPROM ENT.
TO: LLOYD AEROSPACE AND MANAGEMENT ENTERPRISES, TEMPORARY LAUNCH SITE

We have received your message with great interest. Our PR department is debating if our VIPs should attend the ceremony at Armstrong Base at this very moment.

Please inform us of your current rate per passenger, and the nearest time you can be ready for launch.

What do you do? _

***

February 22nd 2025
Saturday

You are now: SUAVE PLAYBOY

You have BRAVED the JUNGLES of PAPUA NEW GUINEA with your BICYCLE. You have MANAGED to SURVIVE. You were CHASED by CANNIBALS and BITTEN by some STRANGE THINGS. You may HAVE a FEVER.

You are BRUISED. You are BATTERED. You are BARELY ALIVE. It is EVENING. You have ARRIVED TRIUMPHANTLY at the TOWN of GURUNE.

...it is not PARTICULARY IMPRESSIVE.

There are four HUTS. There are some PEOPLE. The PEOPLE are WANDERING about. There is one JEEP. There is no STORE.

What do you do? _