Let's Play: Chaos Gate

[Eternal_Freedom]

"Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to war we go, with a rifle and spade and a hand grenade, hi ho."

[xthetenth]

Any idea when the more specialized marines are going to show up? I get twitchy and start taking vows if I can't chop cultists.

[SirNitram]

Are there techmarines? If so...

TECHMARINE SIRNITRAM ONLINE. FOR EMPEROR AND OMNISSIAH. REMEMBER, EXPLOSIVES ARE YOUR FRIEND.

[Force Lord]

I shall be named... Ralfus Manderus.

[Gerald Tarrant]

Brother Maximo Zepp, part time marine, part time .... Morale Officer

[Hawkwings]

Here's the roster so far:

Tactical Squad 1
SGT Caveat Emptor Andronicus
Gaius - Ass
Charred Docken
Paulus Scarabeus
Darman Malus - Ass

Devastator Squad
SGT Morantor
Slab Hardbeef
Lalkurti Vanas
Dimitri Kursk - Dev, Term
Narkus

Unassigned
Niveus Portus
Daman Sarhiff
Siegfried Roy - Ass
Dominatus Imperatus - Dev
Sunshine Mcgee

Ralfus Manderus
Maximo Zepp

Librarian Matteus
Apothecary Sorchus
Apothecary Wautd
Techmarine Spikerivet
TECHMARINE SIRNITRAM

We are full up on Apothecaries and Techmarines. Oh, and there is only one devastator squad and one assault squad.

[Narkis]

I gotta ask. Why are some of us asses but not others? How can I serve the Imperium without being an ass? I demand to be an ass, damnit!

[Akhlut]

All right, brah, Slab Hardbeef is gonna be a brawesome devbrostator. Hopefully there won't be a brotastrophe or total Brolocaust when we fight Chaos.

Slab Hardbeef out! Time for MADDEN!

[Force Lord]

Assault is my choice. Trust in the Emperor!

[Connor MacLeod]

Can I be a Dreadnought? Or maybe I should be a Chaplain....

Edit: Or maybe a Terminator..

[Chardok]

Bunch of slack-jawed sissies around here! Being a tac marine'll make you a goddamned sexual tyrannosaurus



Just like me.

[SirNitram]

MARINE CHARDOK IS DOCKED HIS VENEREAL DISEASE THERAPY FOR FORCING THIS UNIT TO COMPREHEND THAT.

[Brother-Captain Gaius]

MARINE CHARDOK IS DOCKED HIS VENEREAL DISEASE THERAPY FOR FORCING THIS UNIT TO COMPREHEND THAT.

Strictly speaking techbro, that's the bropothecaries' job

[OmegaChief]

Yea but we've got one minor issue in that regard Brother Gaius, we do not seem to have a single Apothacary on this expedition, so I belive Brother Nitram is pulling double duty.

[Akhlut]

I don't know, Bromo sapien, the roster has two bropothecaries. They could be off having a kegger with the Soritas bitches from Kappa Gamma Pi of the Flaming Chalice, though.

[Chardok]

Yeah, I'd like to gamma her pi.

[OmegaChief]

... Brother Nitram, I think I need bionic eyes, these fleshy ones are malfunctioning.

[Agent Sorchus]

Never fear, tough love is the Emperors love. Toughen up and you will survive. And if you don't I here for ya, ya big whiner. Or do I have to add you to my list of friendly fire incidents, I mean Mercy kills?

[Eternal_Freedom]

Quit ya whining OmegaChief.

Remember, REAL Space Marines shoot themselves in the eye socket 5 times daily with a .44 Magnum. Because you never know when you might need to beat someone to death with your own eye socket.

[SirNitram]

... Brother Nitram, I think I need bionic eyes, these fleshy ones are malfunctioning.

YOUR CHOICE TO ABANDON YOUR WEAK, FLESHY EXTERIOR IS APPLAUDED, BATTLE-BROTHER. I WILL INSTALL THEM. AND THEN I WILL FIND THE APOTHECARIES.

[FaxModem1]

Now now, that's why Morale officer McGee is here. Let's all take our weapons, paint some flowers on them, and then kill our enemies and take their blood to make it into paint for the rest of our weapons to canvas.

[Akhlut]

Hey, brah, are we gonna go on a mission soon? I need to know so I can get enough kegs and get us enough controllers for some Halo and Madden. Also, I need some time to go to the alter and pray to Broboute.

[Hawkwings]

(We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. Well not technical, more like temporal.)

Due to the foul machinations of the Warp, the brave Battle-Brothers of the Ultramarines have already gone on their mission and completed it. However the mission log has been delayed in transmission.

+++VERIFY-ID_CONFIRM+++
+++Brother-Codicier Second Class Hawkwings+++
+++THE EMPEROR PROTECTS+++

(But he doesn't write papers for me sadly. Feel free to look through the album and make wild guesses of what happened though)

[xthetenth]

I killed everyone while shouting at the top of my lungs and then was taken by the blood ravens who now say I'm a marine commissioned in honor of the Black Templars?

Hey, if I'm gonna dream I might as well dream big (and nuts).

[Connor MacLeod]

Frak it... If there are any devastator slots open I'll fill one. I hope I get something very destructive to wield...