Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[Lonestar]

SAILOR recommends that we tell them we can be ready to launch in a day, and that it will cost $25mil per customer.

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY strongly suspects these people do not take CREDITCARDS and is annoyed at more things than he can easily list off as a result of this fact and the trip.

SUAVE PLAYBOY also may or may not be proficient in the native LANGUAGE beyond SPECIALIZED VOCABULARIES* and in addition he was not provided any BARTER GOODS beyond a KNIFE and a few ILLNESSES he picked up ALONG THE WAY.

SUAVE PLAYBOY thus attempts to identify the DAUGHTER of whoever owns the JEEP and SEDUCE THEM so that he may gain access to the JEEP even if temporarily.

*SUAVE PLAYBOY can woo/seduce/sweet talk in many more languages than he has a working general purpose vocabulary in.

[Zixinus]

TAKE a FLASHLIGHT, a FLIGHT SUIT of my size and a HANDHELD RADIO. TAKE SPORTSBAGS.
GO into HANGAR and give HANDHELD RADIOS to ETERNAL FREEDOM, IVAN IVANOF and maybe SMARMY SAILOR. Wish I would have given one to PLAYBOY. Oh well.

Decide that in face of SICKNESS and NO CURE and GREAT HEAT to REST in one of the COTS.

[Eternal_Freedom]

ACCEPT RADIO. CLAIM appropriately-sized FLIGHT SUIT.

CLIMB into COCKPIT. SMILE APPRECIATIVELY att he nicely JANITORIALISED INTERIOR. RUN FLIGHT CHECKS to see what's working. READ MANUAL for MANUAL REFUELLING.

[Scottish Ninja]

RECOMMEND that we CHARGE $15 MILLION per PASSENGER to UNDERCUT any COMPETITION, plus a MERCEDES S600 and some RED SUIT JACKETS.

TRY to CONVINCE SHAPP to be our LOADMASTER. GIVE him a COPY of the MANUAL and ASK about carrying PASSENGERS to the MOON.

[Zixinus]

Suggest to IVAN that we should forget the MERCEDES for now. For one thing, we can't carry it around. Money would help us most out, clear any debts to the company's name and money would likely to help us most wherever we land (except the USA of course).

ASK if ANYBODY HAS a CELLPHONE with RECEPTION. I am curious whether we can contact the FLOYD BROTHERS.
If none has some, USE COMPUTER to CONTACT ROACH MOTEL.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Say: "Debts the company has? What about the horrifically staggering AMEX bill I'm gonna get soon?"

EDIT: "Or is that the company card now?"

[FaxModem1]

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY fishes pockets for cell phone he used to talk to WHITE POLAR BEAR.

"How about this one?"

WCDG then changes into an appropriate fitting flight suit. CONTINUES REPAIRS. Once those are done, begins UPGRADES using spare parts.

[Zixinus]

"For the moment, yeah, it appears to be. We don't have much other source of finances here. But if we manage to land a job that pays in millions that quarter million shouldn't be that big a deal and it was on the company's expense to clear up anyway. I have a feeling it won't be the most useless purchase we have made so far." SIGH "I wish Phant would get himself together somehow, to at least manage finances. Setting up a swiss bank account wouldn't be too bad an idea right now."

While I'm at the OLD COMPUTER, I'll REPLY to E-MAIL from RUSPROM ENT.
I'll include:
- Price for launch: 10 million dollars (this and all further below prices can be paid in other currencies in equal value of course).
- Starting price for per passenger, assuming that passenger's sum mass is 80 kilograms: 1 million dollars. Every kilogram beyond the starting mass is an additional 1000$. Sum mass is the weight of passenger upon boarding the spaceplane (in pricing, we follow standard mathematical rounding*). We can take a maximum of 8 passengers, although we suggest a lower amount for a moon-trip. We refuse to take up any passenger that is armed (armed means carrying a firearm on person, carrying any edged tool on person and so on). . We do not take responsibility of any death caused by pre-existing health condition of passenger (such as a heart condition) although we will provide first aid when necessary.
- Used oxygen and seat is counted into the passenger starting cost. At the moment, we do not offer catering, so we advise passengers to bring food and water. No smoking is allowed in any form on the space-plane.
- Luggage: luggage will be stored in passenger compartment. Luggage's price per kilogram is 500$ per kilogram. We will not place luggage in cargo area, unless luggage is vacuum-ready. We do not take responsibility on vacuum-readiness of luggage in the cargo hold. Luggage must not be be explosive or radioactive in nature. Firearms must be unloaded and secured inside luggage as well as any edged tool or weapon.
- Cargo: maximum cargo is 10 metrics tones (10 000 kilograms). We require weight distribution information of cargo. Pricing of cargo is determined on a case-by-case basis. We do not offer any cargo containers at the moment and thus request that client arranges cargo's container. We refuse to carry munitions or living cargo of any kind.
- We do not take responsibility of passenger's luggage at destination once it has left the Ravenstar. We advise all passengers to look up any protocols and laws of destination before launch.
- At the moment we refuse any destination that is within the USA's borders.

REVIEW letter and policies within with TEAM LAME before sending.

MAKE NOTE to get BARF BAGS, air-fresheners, air-filters (so any muck that goes around in zero-g is sucked in), zero-g water tank (you drink water only trough a straw, like a camelback) and zero-g toilet for the Ravenstar.

* anything 4 or lower is rounded down. anything 5 or higher is rounded up, if there is any confusion.

[Scottish Ninja]

"Is okay. We can buy 600 MERC later. But must be done so we can show off status to customers."

INSPECT the REST of the AIRBASE.
Spoiler

Are there actually other buildings on the airbase (as in the photo) or is it just the one hangar?

[FaxModem1]

"How much delay will we have between getting all this and taking our first passengers? Its going to be hard to outfit this quickly and/or finding customers that will book that far in advance."

CONTINUES REPAIRS and UPGRADES.

[PeZook]

There are a FEW other BUILDINGS at the AIRBASE, but they are PRACTICALLY DESTROYED.

[Shroom Man 777]

WORK ON A SUNTAN while WAITING FOR WHATEVER

[Zixinus]

In a flash of good idea, give HANDHELD RADIO, a FLASHLIGHT, a PARANG (if he needs it), EMERGENCY RATIONS for a day and few WATER PURIFICATION TABLETS to COMBAT JANITOR. Make sure he knows how to use the radios.

SAY to IVAN "We can always just a rent a car wherever we meet our clients. It would actually be cheaper."

DISCUSS with WCDG that we should put in a small, portable air purifier into the Ravenstar. Last time, we got PISS, BARF, VOMIT, SHIT and other UNTHINKABLE things throw into our faces, not to mention the instrumentation. An air purifier might help prevent that. Also, while I don't mind the SMELL OF RUSSIAN VODKA, I think our clients might. We also need to think about toilets: we can't expect our clients to wear diapers or hold it in for tens of hours.
Say that we DON'T need to WORRY about backlogs or anything. We still haven't got confirmation that we even got the job. Right now, we focus on one job at a time.

ASK about STATUS OF REPAIRS. OFFER TO HELP if necessary. ASK what he has in mind in regards to UPGRADES.

[Shroom Man 777]

COMBAT JANITOR WONDERS WHY he has been GIVEN all this TACTICOOL GEAR

[FaxModem1]

WCDG explains his progress.

"The ship is basically fixed, all we need for it to run again is fuel. As for UPGRADES, I'm building and installing air filters, trying to make the interior of the ship stronger so that we don't have another hull breach like last time, and I'm now seeing if we can include a navigation system that doesn't involve us writing equations on the windows."

WCDG tries to UPGRADE SPACEPLANE with SCIENCE and ENGINEERING as well as AWESOMENESS.

"If this doesn't work, I'm just going sleep on one of those cots until the pain from the tear gas pellets goes away."

[Zixinus]

Explain to COMBAT JANITOR that he might find himself in a TACTICAL SITUATION and in what he needs to be very COOL.

SUGGEST to WCDG that if the Ravenstar is fixed, he should rest now. He should get STATUS BONUSES for being WELL RESTED.

FOLLOW MY OWN ADVICE AND REST.

[FaxModem1]

WCDG agrees, goes to empty COT and SLEEPS.

[Scottish Ninja]

Use VODKA as MEDICINE to CURE ILLNESS.

PASS OUT on my COT.

[Simon_Jester]

NOTES that COMBAT JANITOR'S ability to PULL WEAPONS OUT OF HIS ASS must have some UPPER LIMIT. ADVISES COMBAT JANITOR that having BACKUP PLAN is ALWAYS GOOD.

Also NOTES that TACTICOOL GEAR includes ITEMS that COMBAT JANITOR might NOT WANT to rely on his own HIGHLY PERSONAL ARSENAL for, such as FOOD and WATER PURIFICATION TABLETS. ADVISES COMBAT JANITOR not to KICK a GIFT HORSE in the TEETH.

[Eternal_Freedom]

PAUSES in SURPRISE.

Mutter: "My eyes must be worse than I thought..."

Say: "OK, whos this new guy?"

[Zixinus]

ASK from COT "Was that the robot?"

[Shroom Man 777]

KEEPS TACTICOOL GEAR

WONDERS if ADVISOR is COLLECTIVE DELUSION

[Simon_Jester]

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST introduces himself. EXPLAINS that he was EXILED to NEW GUINEA after LASER CANNON MISHAP. RANTS EXTENSIVELY about IDIOT LAB PARTNER and THAT FUCKER MAXWELL*, who BETRAYED HIM. Is VAGUE about DETAILS of LASER MISHAP.

Expresses ADMIRATION for MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE. WONDERS HOW IT GOT HERE. THINKS SPACEPLANE is RIDICULOUSLY COOL.

OFFERS SERVICES. LISTS FOLLOWING SKILLS:
-EXPERIENCED WITH ELECTRONICS, including BIZARRE %#&$% one-off GIZMOS DESIGNED BY IDIOTS. PROMISES that his work SELDOM EXPLODES.
-GOOD with EQUATIONS. Except for contour integrals. FUCK CONTOUR INTEGRALS.
-BLUE BELT in SLIDE RULE FU.
-Occasionally TALKS about ZE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM for NO READILY APPARENT REASON.

ADMITS that he MIGHT BE COLLECTIVE DELUSION, but IS NOT SURE. WONDERS whether it is POSSIBLE to be FIGMENT OF HIS OWN IMAGINATION.

*FUCKER MAXWELL is cousin of FUCKER NEWTON, but with different area of responsibility.

[Shroom Man 777]

SCREAMS IN HORRER UPON SEEING THE MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST

BEGINS CROSSING HIMSELF AND BLUBBERING:

"IT GHOST! IT GHOST! AAAAAAHHHH!!!"

RUN AROUND on PROSTHETIC CYBERNETIC FOOT