Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[Simon_Jester]

Lacking BADASSERY and HUNGARIAN MUSTACHIO POWER skills, MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST takes longer to RECOVER.

Mostly EXTINGUISHES FLAMES by TIMELY STOP DROP ROLL maneuver; STAGGERS AWAY from scene of TIGER KILL wondering WHAT THE HELL HIT HIM.

[FaxModem1]

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY, upon being punched in the face by SKINNY GUY, begins SNEEZING uncontrollably. WCDG aims DEADLY SNOT at SKINNY GUY and NATIVES, exposing them to GERMS.

[Force Lord]

CRAPS HIS PANTS after seeing the DISASTER. WISHES he had SPARE PANTS right now. Steals ASSAULT SLIDERULER. RUNS inside the BASE.

[Simon_Jester]

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST GROANS in PAIN at BURN WOUNDS. Sees RANDOM FOOL trying to YOINK his expensive and specialized ASSAULT SLIDE RULE and RUN AWAY WITH IT.

PHYSICIST chases RANDOM FOOL. The HIGH VOLTAGE LOGIC PROBE he used to SET the ALCOHOL-SOAKED TIGER on FIRE is still in his hand.

"Hey you! Give that back!"

[Force Lord]

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST GROANS in PAIN at BURN WOUNDS. Sees RANDOM FOOL trying to YOINK his expensive and specialized ASSAULT SLIDE RULE and RUN AWAY WITH IT.

PHYSICIST chases RANDOM FOOL. The HIGH VOLTAGE LOGIC PROBE he used to SET the ALCOHOL-SOAKED TIGER on FIRE is still in his hand.

"Hey you! Give that back!"

HISTORIAN THROWS ASSAULT SLIDE RULE at MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST'S GROIN. KEEPS RUNNING LIKE HELL. Attempts to enter AIRBASE.

[Simon_Jester]

HISTORIAN, lacking SLIDE RULE-FU skill, FUMBLES THROW. ASSAULT SLIDE RULE turns in midair and THWACKS PHYSICIST in GROIN side-on. MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST collapses, GROANING IN PAIN again at NEW GROINAL BRUISES.

At least PHYSICIST has his ASSAULT SLIDE RULE back.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST shudders to think what WOULD HAVE HAPPENED if HISTORIAN had had a NORMAL WEAPON instead. Or if it had been COMBAT JANITOR making the THROW, for COMBAT JANITOR clearly has potent DICKSTABBERY skills to make up for his LACK of SLIDE RULE-FU.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST makes MENTAL NOTE not to RELINQUISH CONTROL of his WEAPONS during a FIGHT, because they keep getting USED AGAINST HIM.

[FaxModem1]

Once ANGRY MOB are infected with GERMS, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY runs away to the HANGAR to look for AMMO.

[Force Lord]

HISTORIAN takes a breather. Notices BAGEL lying on the ground. Picks it up. Sees a TIMER.

"OH SHIIIII-!"

HISTORIAN runs LIKE HELL. BAGEL explodes near ASS. HISTORIAN hurled to the ground, MOANS IN PAIN. FEELS his ASS BURNT.

[Simon_Jester]

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST sees BURNT-ASS HISTORIAN. Physicist FUCKING LAUGHS.

"My bagel placement, it is IMPECCABLE! The very nature of ZE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM guarantees it! That's what you get for trying to dickstab me with my own slide rule! Bwa-HA-HA-HAA!"

[Force Lord]

BURNT-ASS HISTORIAN tries to STAND UP, but the PAIN! OH THE PAIN!. HISTORIAN remains planted on the GROUND. YELLS for a BUCKET of WATER.

[Simon_Jester]

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST, in GESTURE of NOT TOTALLY HATING the RANDOM GUY, goes looking for a BUCKET and/or WATER.

[FaxModem1]

WCDG hears crying out of BURNT MAN and rummages through MEDICAL SUPPLIES for ANESTHETIC since BURNT MAN is in INCREDIBLE PAIN.

[PeZook]

February 23rd 2025
Sunday



Abandoned airbase
Somewhere in Papua New Guinea

ROUND 7

You are now: ZIXINUS, ETERNAL FREEDOM, PHANT, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY, RI'ANN SHAPP, LARGE IRRITABLE DOG, COMBAT JANITOR, SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR, TROPICAL BEAUTY, IVAN IVANOV and MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST.

You are no longer SICK. You have RECOVERED from TEAR GAS POISONING.

You are in a JUNGLE. The JUNGLE is partially on FIRE due to the EXPLODING FART CLOUD. There is an OLD HANGAR. There is a slab of TARMAC and a RUNWAY. There is a SPACEPLANE. The SPACEPLANE is MAGNIFICENT. It is MORNING. It really HOT again. There is an ANGRY MOB. There is a TIGER. It is VERY ANGRY. It is on FIRE. There is PANIC. The PANIC is ENORMOUS.

ETERNAL FREEDOM is on FIRE. He IGNORES it for the TIME BEING. ETERNAL FREEDOM ROARS a mighty BATTLE CRY. He has a SEVERED TIGER HEAD in his HANDS. He briefly TERRIFIES the ANGRY MOB.

IVAN IVANOV uses this OPPORTUNITY to LAUNCH a SURPRISE ASSAULT. He GRABS an OLD RIFLE from a TRIBESMAN. He FINDS there is NOBODY he can TOSS the RIFLE to. At least NOBODY who is NOT on FIRE.

COMBAT JANITOR CACKLES

ZIXINUS DIVES into a PUDDLE of WATER to EXTINGUISH the FLAMES. He gets UP and ROARS at the ANGRY MOB, adding to the CONFUSION. ANGRY MOB has become a MOB.

The ANGRY MOB is now LEADERLESS due to the SKINNY MAN'S brief INCAPACITATION. They are in AWE at ETERNAL FREEDOM and his SHEER BADASSERY.

The FART CLOUD begins to DISSIPATE. SKINNY MAN gets UP and is SPEECHLESS. He quickly RECOVERS his SENSES and begins to YELL SOMETHING while POINTING at TROPICAL BEAUTY. TROPICAL BEAUTY is DEFIANT. The MOB is THREATENING to become ANGRY again.

A TRIBESMAN is also YELLING at IVAN IVANOV who TOOK his GUN.

In the BACKGROUND, MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST is CHASING the QUIET HISTORIAN around the AIR BASE. MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST is HIT in the GROIN with his own SLIDERULE. QUIET HISTORIAN manages to ENTER the HANGAR and FIND an EXPLOSIVE BAGEL. He tries to RUN but can't BREATHE due to the HYDRAZINE FUMES.

The BAGEL explodes. QUIET HISTORIAN is SEVERELY BURNED. It is VERY PAINFUL.

Outside, there is a TENSE STANDOFF. WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY is SHIFTY and seems to be TRYING to SNEEZE.

There is SOUND of approaching HELICOPTERS. It is quite DISTANT.

COMBAT JANITOR CACKLES

What do you do? _

[Zixinus]

GENTLY GUIDE TROPICAL BEAUTY and SKINNY GUY AWAY a BIT to TRY and MAKE CIVILIZED DISCUSSION ABOUT THE SITUATION. TRY to MAKE THEM REALIZE that WE DON'T understand THEIR LANGUAGE.

HOPE THAT HELICOPTERS DON'T RELATE TO US.

[FaxModem1]

Spoiler

When someone gets punched in the nose, it is REALLY EASY to sneeze. Believe me, I know.

WCDG sees that we're now trying to be civilized about this. WCDG checks to see if HANGAR has aired out, if it has, WCDG resumes UPGRADING SPACEPLANE.

If it hasn't, WCDG takes keys to JEEP, just in case he needs a QUICK GETAWAY.

[PeZook]

Spoiler

Yeah...I though you might want to reconsider that since you sneezing = violence again

[Eternal_Freedom]

UPON REALISING the ANGRY MOB is TERRIFYIED and OTHER TEAM MEMBERS are ATTEMPTING REASONED DISCUSSION, TERRIFY one guy into GIVING Me HIS RIFLE AND AMMO. WHILST still ON FIRE.

Then DROP and ROLL. EXTINGUISH FIRE. BRIEFLY EXAMINE STOLEN RIFLE for CONDITION.

WHILST REASONED DISCUSSION TAKES PLACE, DECAPITATE ENORMOUS PANIC with BLOOD-STAINED PARANG. BEGIN SKINNING TIGER. It will make a NICE RUG for the SPACEPLANE.

MAKE SURE this is in FULL VIEW of the MOB, to REMIND them how BADASS I am.

LAUGH at HISTORIAN. CONSIDER HELPING, then REALISE DERANGED PHYISCIST and WCDG are ALREADY THERE. RESUME TIGER-SKINNING.

[Scottish Ninja]

AUGMENT Eternal Freedom's BADASSERY by RELIEVING the rest of the GUN-WIELDING TRIBESMEN of their FIREARMS.

IDENTIFY FIREARMS.

OFFER alternative ILLEGAL CHEAP RUSSIAN METHANOL-BASED VODKA SUBSTITUTE to PLACATE and then BLIND the TRIBESMEN.
Spoiler

DECIDEDLY NOT the STUFF that I normally DRINK.

[Force Lord]

HISTORIAN is still UNABLE TO MOVE. PASSES OUT due to the PAIN.

[Simon_Jester]

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST makes MENTAL NOTE to ADJUST the charge used in EXPLODING BAGEL WEAPONS.

"Either down, or way way up..."

PHYSICIST continues TRYING TO HELP HISTORIAN.

[Simon_Jester]

Ghetto Edit:

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST realizes that BEING PASSED OUT IN HANGAR means that HISTORIAN is going to be HUFFING more LETHAL ROCKET FUEL.

PHYSICIST starts DRAGGING HISTORIAN AWAY.
Spoiler

Just because he yoinked my slide rule doesn't mean I want him dead, mang.

[MKSheppard]

Remain holding LARGE IRRITABLE DOG who continues to WHIMPER, WHINE, AND MOAN like a GIANT BABY.

The POOP STAINED PHONE vibrates, and I CHECK IT.

The text message says:

6TH USAF SPEC OPS SQDN INBND TO YOUR POSITION TO SECURE SPCFT. ETA 5 MIN.

[Lonestar]

SAILOR sighs and drinks another WARM ENGLISH PUB ALE.

[PeZook]

February 23rd 2025
Sunday



Abandoned airbase
Somewhere in Papua New Guinea

ROUND 8

You are now: ZIXINUS, ETERNAL FREEDOM, PHANT, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY, RI'ANN SHAPP, LARGE IRRITABLE DOG, COMBAT JANITOR, SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR, TROPICAL BEAUTY, IVAN IVANOV and MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST.

You are no longer SICK. You have RECOVERED from TEAR GAS POISONING.

You are in a JUNGLE. The JUNGLE is partially on FIRE due to the EXPLODING FART CLOUD. There is an OLD HANGAR. There is a slab of TARMAC and a RUNWAY. There is a SPACEPLANE. The SPACEPLANE is MAGNIFICENT. It is MORNING. It really HOT again. There is a MOB. There is a TIGER. It is VERY DEAD. It is in two PIECES. It is MORNING. It is VERY HOT. There is PANIC. The PANIC is ENORMOUS.

There is SOUND of HELICOPTERS. It is QUITE NEAR.

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY has WITHHELS his SNEEZE long ENOUGH for ZIXINUS to GUIDE TROPICAL BEAUTY and SKINNY GUY away for a CHIT CHAT.

TROPICAL BEAUTY and SKINNY GUY begin ARGUING. They IGNORE ZIXINUS. SKINNY GUY SLAPS TROPICAL BEAUTY. TROPICAL BEAUTY retaliates by SCRATCHING at his EYES.

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR SIGHS for some REASON. Possibly because his CHICK turned OUT to be PSYCHO.

ETERNAL FREEDOM attempts to DISARM a TRIBESMAN but FAILS due to the FACT the SITUATION is a TENSE STANDOFF. The TRIBESMAN PUSHES him AWAY and YELLS.

The MOB becomes an ANGRY MOB again. ENORMOUS PANIC approaches ETERNAL FREEDOM.

ENORMOUS PANIC Says: Hello there hands...

ETERNAL FREEDOM DECAPITATES ENORMOUS PANIC. He BEGINS to SKIN the TIGER. The ANGRY MOB is HELD at BAY for the TIME BEING. IVAN IVANOV begins OFERRING some SUSPICIOUS VODKA to the ANGRY MOB.

ANGRY MOB turns into a MOB. They BEGIN to TAKE the SUSPICIOUS VODKA.

SKINNY GUY is INJURED. He PUNCHES TROPICAL BEAUTY in the FACE and GRABS her HAIR. TROPICAL BEAUTY BITES SKINNY GUY in the NOSE.

RI'ANN SHAPP RECEIVES a MESSAGE on his POOP COVERED PHONE. He READS it and CACKLES.

COMBAT JANITOR CACKLES as WELL.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST is DRAGGING the QUIET HISTORIAN out of the HANGAR. It SEEMS most of the HYDRAZINE FUMES have mostly DISSIPATED.



Without much more WARNING, a large SQUADRON of DRONE HELICOPTERS BUZZES the AIRBASE. The DRONE HELICOPTERS are HEAVILY ARMED and PAINTED in the COLORS of the USAF. They BEGIN to SET UP an ATTACK RUN. It LOOKS like they'll FIRE on PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE.

POOP COVERED PHONE BEEPS.

There is a MESSAGE.

The MESSAGE Reads: THX FOR UR SRVCE IT WAS NCE KNOWING U

Some JOKER apparently couldn't RESIST.

What do you do? _

[Eternal_Freedom]

JUMP UP, GRAB new TIGER RUG. RUN INTO HANGER and CLIMB INTO SPACEPLANE. SCREAM for my FELLOW EMPLOYEES to DO THE SAME as the CHOPPERS probably WON'T SHOOT THE SPACEPLANE. They most likely want to NICK IT INTACT.