Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[Force Lord]

HISTORIAN attemps to STAND UP. SUCCEDS.

"Wooo! I'm UP!"

HISTORIAN seats and buckles up PROPERLY.

[Shroom Man 777]

FARTS out a SMOKESCREEN to EVADE ENEMY FIRE

CACKLE AND VANISH MYSTERIOUSLY

[Simon_Jester]

WCDG hits RIANN with CROWBAR rather than allow him to enter RAVENSTAR to STEAL SUPPLIES.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST asks WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY:

"Who is this man, and should I be hitting him too?"

[FaxModem1]

WCDG whacks RIANN SHARP with a crowbar several more times while saying.

"This is the man who has been trying to kill us since Florida, so yes, go ahead and take a few whacks with your slide rule."

[Lonestar]

SAILOR hits WCDG with walkin' Stick.

GET AWAY FROM HIM! SAILOR screeches.

[PeZook]

February 23rd 2025
Sunday



Abandoned airbase
Somewhere in Papua New Guinea

ROUND 9

You are now: ZIXINUS, ETERNAL FREEDOM, PHANT, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY, RI'ANN SHAPP, LARGE IRRITABLE DOG, COMBAT JANITOR, SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR, TROPICAL BEAUTY, IVAN IVANOV and MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST.

You are no longer SICK. You have RECOVERED from TEAR GAS POISONING.

You are in a JUNGLE. The JUNGLE is partially on FIRE due to the EXPLODING FART CLOUD. There is an OLD HANGAR. There is a slab of TARMAC and a RUNWAY. There is a SPACEPLANE. The SPACEPLANE is MAGNIFICENT. It is MORNING. It really HOT again. There is a MOB. There is a TIGER. It is VERY DEAD. It is in two PIECES.

There are DRONE HELICOPTERS. The DRONE HELICOPTERS are getting ready to SHOOT UP the ABANDONED AIRBASE.

ETERNAL FREEDOM GRABS his TIGER SKIN and RUN like HELL. He DEDUCES your ATTACKERS probably WANT the SPACEPLANE as UNDAMAGED as POSSIBLE. He ENTERS the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE through the FORWARD AIRLOCK and SCRAMBLES into the PILOT SEAT with FEAR ADDLED BADASS SPEED.

SUAVE PLAYBOY decided to PLAY HERO and ACQUIRED a BADLY KEPT RPG. He FIRES at the DRONE HELICOPTERS but ONLY suceeds in GIVING his POSITION away.

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY hurriedly HACKS AWAY at the OLD PC writing an EMAIL in a DISPLAY of ABSURDLY MISAPPLIED PRIORITIES.

ETERNAL FREEDOM Mutters: This shit is getting old.

There is a loud WHINE as the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE powers UP the APU. It begins to WAKE UP.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST returns to the HANGAR. ETERNAL FREEDOM YELLS at the MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST to get the FUCK aboard the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST does not DAWDLE and BOARDS. He is FOLLOWED by WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY. They BEGIN a PLEASANT CONVERSATION.

Meanwhile, RI'ANN SHAPP is HURRIEDLY pushing a PUSH CART towards the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE. ZIXINUS manages to INTERCEPT him and SPRAY his FACE with an EVIL HUGARIAN MIXTURE. RI'ANN SHAPP is TEMPORARILY INCAPACITATED.

ZIXINUS GRABS the POOP COVERED PHONE and BEGINS to READ. He becomes ENRAGED. He WANTS to WRITE an IRONIC SCREED in the SAND but is INTERRUPTED by DRONE HELICOPTERS.

DRONE HELICOPTERS BEGIN their ATTACK RUN with MACHINE GUNS. The MOB scatters. ZIXINUS RUNS for his LIFE. For some REASON he is HOLDING the LARGE IRRITABLE DOG. He THROWS the LARGE IRRITABLE DOG into the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE and FOLLOWS it INSIDE. The LARGE IRRITABLE DOG becomes IRRITATED and BEGINS to BITE. ZIXINUS is TRYING to SUBDUE it.

DRONE HELICOPTERS FINISH their PASS and begin to SET UP for ANOTHER RUN. There are now several DEAD BODIES outside the HANGAR.

RI'ANN SHAPP manages to RECOVER from PALINKA POSIONING with ALARMING QUICKNESS. He RUNS to the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE. He ATTEMPTS to BOARD but is WHACKED with a CROWBAR by WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY.

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR ENTERS the FORWARD AIRLOCK and begins to FENCE using his WALKING CANE.

SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR Screeches: GET AWAY FROM HIM!

There is OBVIOUSLY some MAN LOVE between RI'ANN SHAPP and SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR.

IVAN IVANOV is TALKING on the RADIO with the RUSSIAN TRAWLER. They DECLINE to HELP due to PROXIMITY of AMERICAN WARSHIPS.

Two DRONE HELICOPTERS begin to APPROACH the HANGAR at LOW ALTITUDE. They will OBVIOUSLY attempt to KILL the PILOT of the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE with an INDISCRIMINATE HAIL of DEADLY LEAD.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST takes PAUSE from the WRESTLING inside the AIRLOCK and REALIZES the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE has a POWERFUL RADAR in the NOSECONE. The NOSECONE is now OPEN and thus FACING UP, though.

TROPICAL BEAUTY is RUNNING from the INCOMING HELICOPTERS. She LEAPS into the FORWARD AIRLOCK. She is SURPRISINGLY STRONG and PUSHES the MAN HEAP inside the PASSENGER CABIN all by HERSELF. She is also SURPRISINGLY SMART. TROPICAL BEAUTY PUSHES a BUTTON on the CONTROLS and begins to CLOSE the OUTER DOOR. She is ACCIDENTALLY WHACKED by SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR and his WALKING CANE.

There is now a MAN HEAP spilling into the PASSENGR CABIN.

What do you do? _

[Lonestar]

SAILOR starts to randomly stab the MAN HEAP with his Trekking Poles
Spoiler

Sailor spent good money on these.

[FaxModem1]

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY now has holes in his jumpsuit, but is otherwise unharmed. He leaves MANHEAP and buckles in, AIDING in prepping the plane for TAKEOFF.

[Simon_Jester]

Two DRONE HELICOPTERS begin to APPROACH the HANGAR at LOW ALTITUDE. They will OBVIOUSLY attempt to KILL the PILOT of the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE with an INDISCRIMINATE HAIL of DEADLY LEAD.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST takes PAUSE from the WRESTLING inside the AIRLOCK and REALIZES the MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE has a POWERFUL RADAR in the NOSECONE. The NOSECONE is now OPEN and thus FACING UP, though.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST scrambles out of fringes of MAN HEAP which SMARMY LITTLE GUY is INEXPLICABLY trying to STAB, even though HE IS IN THE HEAP.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST goes "Ah-ha! I sense... ZAPPITUDE!" and RUSHES toward the THE FRONT.
Spoiler

Physicist's assessment of the situation: Remote controlled drones are incoming. The radar is probably not powerful enough to physically destroy the drones, even at close range; I doubt the spaceplane could even carry a power plant large enough to do that. Even if it could this would no doubt involve damaging the radar badly, and we're probably going to need that later.

However, what may be at least somewhat more practical is trying to disrupt the drones' communications with a blast of radio noise- perhaps damaging their antennas and causing them to crash and burn, or at least confusing them and preventing them from launching their attack.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST begins attempting to MASTER RADAR CONTROLS while shouting at KAMIKAZE SPACE PILOT: "Lower the nosecone! Lower the nosecone! We can fry these suckers!" PHYSICIST plans to GIVE HELICOPTER DRONES the LARGE BURST OF MICROWAVES.

[Zixinus]

PARALYSE IRRITABLE DOG with STENCH FROM EMPTY PÁLINKA FLASK. TIE JAWS TOGETHER.
APPLY PROPER FIRST AID TO DOG.

CUT SAILOR'S Trekking Poles IN HALF WITH OLD PARANG. CALL him a SISSY for having one ON-HAND. Tell him that Shep has tried to kill us for a forth fucking time. First time was sort of OK, but the others are not.

TELL EVERYONE THAT WE ARE LEAVING, SO SIT DOWN AND BUCKLE UP.

FOLLOW MY OWN ADVICE. CLOSE FRONT AIRLOCK.

[Scottish Ninja]

ESCAPE the MAN HEAP. BUCKLE UP by the RADIO.

USE the RADIO to CALL COMBAT JANITOR. GIVE him a MYSTERIOUS PHONE NUMBER to CALL when he gets to the FEELIPEENS.

[Simon_Jester]

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST, seated at RADAR CONTROLS, will BUCKLE UP. CONTINUES to SHOUT at KAMIKAZE SPACE PILOT, along same lines as before.

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY, now aboard MAGNIFICENT SPACEPLANE, tries to recover DELUSIONS OF BADASSERY but fails and attempts to simply not WHIMPER and dismay TROPICAL BEAUTY when seeing KILLER HELICOPTERS approaching the HANGAR with such clear intentions.

[MKSheppard]

KICK Zixinus in GROIN. Begin CALMING DOWN LARGE IRRITABLE DOG, who wants to BITE EVERYONE ELSE in the MAN HEAP.

[Zixinus]

CHUCKLE at FAILED ATTEMPT of a SURPRISE ATTACK and LAUGH at how SHEP MANAGED TO KICK HIS OWN DOG IN THE BALLS because he COULDN'T SEE OUT FROM MANHEAP.

[FaxModem1]

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY helps DERANGED PHYSICIST lower the NOSECONE and aims it at the DRONES.

"Time to tell the drones hello."

[Simon_Jester]

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST powers up RADAR.

PHYSICIST GIVES the DRONES a BIG PULSE OF MICROWAVES.

"Hello? I was hoping for "sit down and shut up," myself."

[Lonestar]

SAILOR runs out into the OPEN and waves frantically at the drones, gesturing at the space plane.

[FaxModem1]

WCDG points out to SAILOR that he just ran into a wall now that the NOSECONE is down, and is still inside the SPACEPLANE.

[Lonestar]

SAILOR was confused by the SERIES OF EVENTS and wasn't sure if he was IN THE SPACEPLANE or not.

[Simon_Jester]

[SAILOR was PUSHED into SPACEPLANE by TROPICAL BEAUTY]

[FaxModem1]

WCDG congratulates DERANGED PHYSICIST on deploying weapon. WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY urges ETERNAL FREEDOM to TAKE OFF.

[Zixinus]

Make all pre-launch preperations in seat. Make sure that everything is ready and that we are only waiting on Eternal Freedom.

ASK DERANGED PHYSICIST for specifications for SUBORBITAL HOP to OKHOTSK so I know where we should be heading once we are in the air and ,presumably, not dead.
EXPLAIN that the air force on our heels and the ROUGE AA GUN BATTERY is a combination of a self-cancelling problem.

[FaxModem1]

Spoiler

So, there's a Cosmetics shooting AA Tower?

[Simon_Jester]

EXPLAINS to ZIXINUS that he's MORE WORRIED about US NAVY than US AIR FORCE. We can OUTRUN JETS. We can't OUTRUN ABM LAUNCHES.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST plots basic COURSE for SUBORBITAL HOP to OKHOTSK, using his SLIDE RULE-FU and LONG PATIENT STUDY of the ways of FUCKER NEWTON. ALSO attempts to plot EVASIVE ROUTING COURSE, in which we make a couple of lateral MAIN ENGINE BURNS during the ballistic phase of our course to ZIG ZAG a little, hopefully making us safer from the threat of TAKING A SIMPLY MURDEROUS 3 missile in the FACE as we overfly GUAM or US NAVAL BASE in JAPAN.

NOT SURE how PRACTICAL or NECESSARY this is. WANTS to be PREPARED, though. MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST can be ONE PARANOID HATFUCKER sometimes.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST attempts to contact EXTREMELY RUSSIAN PERSON and get him into CONTACT with RUSSIAN AIR DEFENSE COMPANIES. Hopefully we can pay them PROTECTION MONEY before they ALSO try to GIVE US a face full of MISSILES.

OR, at least, we can get them to SQUABBLE OVER WHO GETS TO KILL US and ESCAPE in the CONFUSION. That seems to be the most popular M.O. arond here.
Spoiler

PeZook, you already came up with the "private air defense companies" idea during the last flight, as everyone may recall