A Futuristic household convience for you (RAR!)

[Zor]

In this scenario, Q decides to do something nice to you, no strings attached, no unpleasant task that goes along with it, no chance of getting decapitated by angry samurai or teamkilling wankers. Basically, he offers you one of three devices...

1-The Boti Shed: On the outside it looks like a bland metal sheet 2 meters tall, 1 meter across and 3 centimeters thick with a door on one side with an arrow with the words "This side up painted on it", a lock (you get a key with this) and a handle. This weighs about 5 kilograms. If one opens the door, one would find that its larger on the inside (hence the name), containing a room roughly 15 meters wide, 15 meters across and 6 meters across divided into two storys connected by a staircase. Inside there are a bunch of metal shelves and a fire extinisher system, but it is otherwise a blank metal room. The door is just a gateway to the inside, if you flip the door upside down, it will mean that when you go into it you will arrive upside down on the inside. This device is very useful for storage and transportation.

2-The Recycler: The Recylcer is a white fridge size device about two meters tall, two meters wide and one meter thick, looking vaugely like a fridge or a filing cabinet. It weighs about 300 kilograms and has small wheels on the bottom. It has a plug good for your local, a hose which can connect to a building's plumging (this is not nessisary, but is useful), a hatch 40cm by 40cm thats 150cm up on one side with a retractable shelf with a 50cm by 50cm conveyor belt under it, a drawer like a filing cabinet about 50 centers tall a meter wide and extends about 50 centimeters from the main machine lined with a plastic lining and a touch screen. What this device does is as such, if you put biological and plastic household waste and water into this device, it will process it into raw materials and use it to fabricate new items. It has a catalouge of over 1,000 things such as sponges, soap, shampoo, pencils, toy dinosaurs, plastic cups and plates, drawing paper, towls, tissue paper, string and other things. It can also even make some limited food items in synthetic wrappers, including Synthetic chips, hard sweets, a cola substitute, a flavorless tofu like starchy loaf that can be used to make a variety of dishes by a decent chef with some practice as well as raw sugar. Roughly speaking it takes about a minute for this thing to make anything under half a Kilogram and then an additional minute for every additional kilogram. Its quite efficient, but will make some waste, generally steam and carbon dioxide but occasionally it will spit out a plastic cube containing either dust or gunk that it can not make. It has safeties to prevent it from recycling living animals.

3-Displacement Pads: A pair of unassuming Green plastic looking ridgid pads a meter in diameter and five centimeters with a button on the side on a tab and a little progress bar weighing about 5 kilos each. If you put a load massing less than 400 kilos on it and press said button, it will teleport said load onto the other pad (Using Spacial displacement so you don't have to worry about the whole "Is it you" thing if you decide to use it on themseves). The pads have a range of about 200 kilometers and take about 10 minutes to recharge after use. There are safety mechanism in place to prevent people from being cut in two during Displacement. If it is two far apart, the button will glow red and it will make a ding if it gets to far apart. They also have a convienant handle for easy carrying.

It should be noted that these devices will last for at least a hundrd years, but are well beyond our manufacturing capacities. If they are taken apart, scientists and engineers will fail to learn how to replicate them for the same reasons why Yang of Sui's artisans and scholars would fail to do the same with a Nuclear Submarine.

So which do you pick?

Zor

[Hawkwings]

I assume choice 1 has provisions so that we don't suffocate while inside? At first I was thinking that it'd be great for a free portable place to live. Then I realized that it doesn't have electricity, plumbing, or internet. So it's just a storage shed basically. Granted, very useful for the right person, but I don't particularly need a storage shed.

2 is definitely useful, but I don't know how many plastic toy dinosaurs I'd need. I'd probably recycle milk jugs, empty cereal boxes, assignment I don't need anymore, etc. In the spirit of the OP I assume I can't use it to counterfeit money/textbooks or produce gold bricks or brand-name clothes. This is the one I'd probably take. I'd dump all my trash into there and build up a good supply of materials. Then go use it for whatever common needs turn up. Unlimited red cups for parties! I imagine it'd be great for parents dealing with diapers.

3 is limited-range teleport pads? Well if the range were a bit greater I'd use it for transit from home to school. I imagine people would find it very useful for getting to and from work every day, especially for the feature of beating traffic. Actually I might take these, as it would save me a ton of time and effort getting to and from work this summer, as well as in the future. Just have to make sure nobody steals one end...

[Darth Tanner]

Option 1 is simply a mobile shed with the added bonus it would be easier to move house or if you don't have anywhere to put a shed. However it’s extremely light for a door but still not something you could carry around with you.

Option 2 is a huge bulky device (Are American fridges 2m wide?) with only limited use, how many plastic plates and dinosaurs do you want and how much would it have cost you to buy them rather than have to slowly make your own versions our of rubbish with a kitchen filling space hog.

Option 3 is insanely useful, instant travel to work will save me hours each week and save a fortune in diesel! Easy win. Only problem is if it’s just the two pads you’re more or less fixed with having one destination.

[Broomstick]

So, you're saying no matter how much I put in the shed it only weighs about 5 kilos? I'll take it. I got a lot of stuff and I could use a closet that size.

[Zor]

So, you're saying no matter how much I put in the shed it only weighs about 5 kilos? I'll take it. I got a lot of stuff and I could use a closet that size.

For all pratical purposes, yes.

Zor

[Eternal_Freedom]

They are all absurdly tempting. Number 1 would be useful for storing all the random shit my parents have accumulated, making it much easier for them to move house.

Number 2 would be invaluable to me as a student. Limited food? If it can make hot dogs out of empty pizza boxes, it's good enough. Not sure I'd have a need for copious amounts of underwear. Although, I suppose it coudl count as a laundry machine. Throw dirty clothes in the top, make idnetical but clean versions out one end.

But I would definitely have to choose number 3. 200 km is just right for me. One pad goes in my uni flat, in a nice discrete place, other pad goes to my girlfriends room back in my hometown. No more worries about her parents not letting her out to come see me. And much easier. "Honey? I need to talk real bad." ZAAAPPP "Here I am."

Yeah, DEFINITELY number 3.

[Guardsman Bass]

I would probably go with the Boti Shed. A light-weight storage shed of that size would be enormously useful, since I could both store a ton of crap in there, and use it to move around all kinds of heavy stuff like furniture and filing cabinets.

The Recycler is a close second, though. The main turn-off for me is the need to manually feed waste into it. I suppose that would be okay for newspapers, waste water, and the like, but I'm not too keen on shitting into a bucket so that I can recycle it.

[Panzersharkcat]

I'd go with the shed. I have a lot of crap in my room and I'd like to minimize the amount of effort I'd have to make if I want to move to a new apartment. I have to put the stuff in there myself in the first place, but once it's done, it's done. I would take the Displacer Pads to speed up my commute to the campus, but only if it means that only I or people I approve can use it. Random people popping into my room would result in those random people getting whacked on the head by a startled me.

[Enigma]

The Recycler with the Boti Shed being a very close second.

The Recycler would greatly reduce shopping expenses here and does more than toy dinosaurs and red cups or party hats. Sponges, towels, pencils, drawing paper, lined paper, etc... would be great. Too bad this and the rest do not exist.

[Simon_Jester]

I'd go for the displacer pads, the Shed of Holding, and the super-recycler in that order. I don't suffer from a shortage of food or consumer goods, so the recycler isn't exactly critical to my way of thinking. The Shed of Holding would be very convenient, since it's practically a warehouse-sized space, probably all the storage room I'll need for decades. But the displacer pads would be the most awesome, and give me something that I can't possibly get any other way, whereas I can get storage space if I really want to.

[Scottish Ninja]

I don't know about the displacer pads. It's cool and useful and I'd love to have it but I'm not sure how I'd get away with using it. Like what happens when somebody I don't know finds the other end.

The Recycler is a close second, though. The main turn-off for me is the need to manually feed waste into it. I suppose that would be okay for newspapers, waste water, and the like, but I'm not too keen on shitting into a bucket so that I can recycle it.

I thought that's why it can connect to the plumbing, so it can do that automatically.

[Simon_Jester]

That is a significant problem, yeah.

[Guardsman Bass]

I misread that part in the paragraph.

In that case . . . I'd still probably go with the Boti Shed, although the Recyler is now a very close second. Hooking it up to the plumbing so that it grabs all the waste water and waste would be nice.*

* How much waste can it hold at a time? There are some things that I'm going to be re-cycling frequently (particularly paper plates and food), but I'll probably shit and piss more often than I need to use the machine.

The Teleporter is cool, but I really just don't have as much use for it as I do for the other two products. I suppose it would be enormously useful in a situation where you have to commute a very long ways from your home to work, if you could hide it.

Speaking of which, did Q put a Magic Outsiders-Do-Not-Care Spell on this stuff? I'd hate to have it confiscated from me if someone sees it and word gets out.

EDIT: I love "Rar" scenarios like this. They make for such fascinating discussion.

[Zor]

* How much waste can it hold at a time? There are some things that I'm going to be re-cycling frequently (particularly paper plates and food), but I'll probably shit and piss more often than I need to use the machine.

About a cubic meter processed as well as a full tray of unprocessed stuff. You can also have it make storage cubes for surplus material.

Zor

[Manus Celer Dei]

What happens if you put one of the displacer pads on top of the other and activate them?

[Jaevric]

Unfortunately, I'd have to go with the Displacement Pads, despite that being my second choice -- the Recycler is simply too big for my dinky little apartment, and I really don't need more storage space (which would just encourage me to accumulate more stuff to fill it up, no thanks!). If I lived in a house with a basement and somewhere I could hook the Recycler up, I'd take it over the pads in a hearbeat.

[Zor]

What happens if you put one of the displacer pads on top of the other and activate them?

Nothing

Zor

[Guardsman Bass]

What happens if you put one of the displacer pads on top of the other and activate them?

Nothing

Zor

So Portal Suicide is not allowed? Makes sense.

[Hawkwings]

It's not instantaneous anyways, judging by the fact that there's a progress bar on the thing.

[someone_else]

1 has enough internal space and is light and small enough to allow hugely profitable illegal actions. Or to put out fires. Or to pull awesome pranks. Or to carry around loads of useful equipment for any situation.

2 has a too limited choice of things to manufacture to be of any use. (household stuff is too unprofitable if sold in so low quantities) Would reconsider if Q gave me an industrial-grade gimmick. Building-sized or somesuch so it can make up to trucks and somesuch. Yeah, not portable but still massively worth it.

3 very cool but not that useful since you have to carry the pad around before and go to remove it later. I rarely go at more than 50-80 km from my hometown and a car is enough.

Assuming Q doesn't want to give me an oversized Industrial-grade 2, I'll take the 1.

[phred]

could I make, say gasoline or motor oil with the recycler? It's mostly carbon and oxygen anyway. And if I got my hands on the metal and asbestos, could it make brake pads?

Because if not I think I would take the discs and save myself the 30-40 minute trip every morning.

[Solauren]

If I could add more patterns into the Replicator, I'd say #2. I'd save a fortune on so many things.....

If it's possible to reverse engineer the teleporters, I'd take those.

However, since this is Q, and he's not being THAT generous, I'll go with #1.

[lordofchange13]

Number 2 seems the most useful to me, solve you clutter problems and git loads of raw materials that can now be used. You could also by some coal and water, then boom you got massive amounts of food of all kinds. One ton of coal only costs $30. can you program in new things that it can make, then you could probably supply your house with every thing by using your neighbor's garbage.

[Zor]

It's not instantaneous anyways, judging by the fact that there's a progress bar on the thing.

The progress bar is to indicate that it is charging.

Zor

[Rossum]

I'd take the Recycler first, then the Boti Shed, then the Displacer pads in that order.

The Recycler would be a great way to get rid of all sorts of junk. Waste paper, plastic garbage, etc. I probably wouldn't hook it up to the septic system or anything like that. I'd just gather up all the junk mail I get, toss in any worn out clothes or items I have, and maybe gather some old cardboard boxes from work or paper wrappers from any fast food places I eat at. Basically use it to reduce the amount of my garbage is sent to a landfill.

As for what I would make... I could probably just convert everything into ramen noodles or something, eat them, and convert them into waste. Sending biological waste into the sewers is probably better than sending plastic to a landfill. Either that or I could convert it into sugar, animal feed, or plant fertilizer and use use/dispose of it that way. If I can turn my garbage into fish food or fertilizer for plants then it would give me an excuse to start a hydroponics garden or something.

Basically I'd use the recycler to grab as much garbage as I can and convert it into something useful or harmless for the environment. If it has patterns for rations with a long shelf life then I could stockpile them in case of a zombie apocolypse or other emergency... or heck I could donate it to a charity assuming the generic synthetic packaging doesn't raise any alarms. I guess even if the technology can't be replicated by todays scientists then I could start a small business/charity/commune/cult or whatever with it to convert as much non-biodegradable trash into as much useful stuff as possible. Forget paper towels or toy dinosaurs, use it to make dried foods, medicines, bandages, or fertillizer stuff for people who could use it.



The Boti Shed is a close second because I could pull off all sorts of shenanigans with it but I guess I can't really live in it. It doesn't seem to have any electrical system built in (or life support?) so I probably don't want to put in any living things in there unless I add a bunch of stuff. This is extradimentional space we are talking about so there is the undefinable risk that one of the walls or the door itself might get damaged and then I'd get a good look at whatever kind of alien geometries this thing works off of.

As for its usefulness, I already have too much junk laying around and I'd probably be better off recycling or giving away stuff I don't need than hoarding it all in a nonfunctional TARDIS. What I could do is take it out into a lake, open the door, lower it and basically flood both metal rooms with fresh water, then find some place hilarious to dump it and make a lake there. Or I could take it to NASA and they could place it inside a rocket in order to give it some extra space to store stuff (every pound of cargo sent to space takes a whole lot of fuel and engine work to get there). Hell, if humanity ever has a plan to make a base on the moon or mars then having two extra rooms of storage space would be a godsend (or Q send) to getting that done. NASA would have a much much better use for the thing than I would (actually NASA would probably have a better use for the Recycler than I do).


The Displacement Pads don't really seem like something I could use for myself. Sure, if there were two locations I commonly traveled between and didn't mind people knowing about it then I suppose it would be worthwhile. I could theoretically use it to commute to work but then I'd have a teleporter pad that leads to my house where anybody could walk right through.

If I was a crimminal, I could place one across state or country lines and use it to smuggle stuff. Or start a small business/charity/commune/cult that used these for rapid transportation of stuff between two points. But I'm sure if I tried using this in a way that involved more than just myself then it would catch the attention of more agressive businesses/charities/commune/cults and they'd take it for themselves.

NASA... now according to Wikipedia the low-Earth orbit is defined to be around 160-2,000 km above Earths surface. These have a range of 200 km, so I guess these could be used to just barely help out in getting mankind into space. Maybe get a rocket into low earth orbit, have it travel on a very precise path, and then use the pads to send some extra tanks of fuel to the rocket to help boost it up to where it needs to go.

Hmm... having one Pad set up at a very high altitude on Earth and having the other in a special low-orbit orbiting ship could help out by letting us beam mass into space without burning up extra fuel in the process. Keep the ship in an orbit to maximize the number of beams we can do, sent it parts and fuel to construct another rocket, and then have it build more stuff in space as needed. I'm sure smarter people than myself could use this tiny edge to get people into space.

In short:

If only I can use this stuff then I'd pick the Recycler so I can convert paper and plastic waste into biodegradable material to clean up the landfills (in a small way) or make emergency rations or medical stuff. If I'm feeling ambitious I might get some friends and start a commune/cult with this to convert societies trash into stuff we can use and donate materials to charity. The other two items either aren't really necessary (the Boti Shed) or would only be useful for people sneaking across boarders (the displacer pads).

If I can take this stuff to NASA or another space program then I'd pick the Displacer Pads to hopefully allow for better efficiency at getting stuff into low-earth orbit with the Boti Shed and Recycler being close contenders. The Displacer Pads would allow for the success of lots of missions (or reduce the cost of them) while the Recycler and Boti shed would be best used on trips to Mars or the Moon. Stuff sent to Mars or the Moon could end up being lost forever if something goes wrong while stuff in low-orbit could potentially be recovered.