Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[MKSheppard]

WHILE IN EVA TO FIX SPACEPLANE WITH POOP/VODKA MIXTURE, BEGIN RECEIVING STRANGE SIGNAL OVER MY SUIT COMMS:



ARRRRGH!

[Force Lord]

INSANE HISTORIAN begins to MASTURBATE.

[FaxModem1]

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY slaps HISTORIAN.

"Don't do that in a zero G environment. The Air Purifiers have enough on their plate as it is."

[Force Lord]

INSANE HISTORIAN says UNINTELLIGIBLE THINGS, walks with PANTS DOWN.

[Shroom Man 777]

JOINS the INSANE HISTORIAN

"QUICK! THEY NEED MORE MATERIAL FOR THE REPAIR!"

URGES the INSANE HISTORIAN to JOIN IN DEFECATION

"IF WE MAKE TOO MUCH, WE CAN ALWAYS USE IT AS FOOD WHEN WE LAND IN THE WILDERNESS!"

[Force Lord]

INSANE HISTORIAN doesn't want to do DEFECATION, PISSES instead.

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY had originally been relieved that he was no longer required to brave HARD VACUUM wearing a SPACESUIT kept airtight and operational by DUCT TAPE AND WISHFUL THINKING. Now though at the actions of INSANE FILIPINO and HISTORIAN however he begins to RECONSIDER his original stance that it was best to stay in the cabin.

TROPICAL BEAUTY begins to talk rapidly and unintelligibly in a vigourous fashion as a reaction to the actions of the FOUL PAIR. SUAVE PLAYBOY's ability to translate rapidfire FOREIGN is questionable, but he goes out on a limb and guesses she disapproves.

SUAVE PLAYBOY punches INSANE HISTORIAN in the FACE!

[Simon_Jester]

MAD SCIENTIST zaps IDIOT HISTORIAN with HIGH VOLTAGE LOGIC PROBE.

"Quit it, or I zap again!"

MAD SCIENTIST goes looking for SOMETHING to CLEAN UP the unholy fluid spills. Plans to FORCE COMBAT JANITOR to JANITORIALIZE at PROBE-POINT.

[Scottish Ninja]

SUPPORT MAD SCIENTIST.

IVAN does NOT want to CLEAN THIS UP AGAIN.

[Force Lord]

INSANE HISTORIAN goes even CRAZIER, has sudden SEIZURE.

[FaxModem1]

WCDG takes HISTORIAN's wallet and puts it in HISTORIAN's mouth to prevent HISTORIAN from swallowing tongue.

[Force Lord]

INSANE HISTORIAN is unable to speak, yet he begins to SHAKE UNCONTROLLABLY.

[Zixinus]

USE FIRST AID SKILL to DIAGNOSE HISTORIAN. APPLY TREATMENT:

SAY in FATHERLY VOICE "Hey kid, daddy's home, mommy missed you so much that she is on her way right now to give you a big hug and kisses!"

Do similar TREATMENT to FILIPINO JANITOR using GUILE. FAIL due to JANITOR having a MUCH HIGHER LEVEL OF INSANITY.

FINISH APPLYING FIRST AID TO SELF.

TURN MY ATTENTION to DOG. DETERMINE that DOG HAS HAD HIS LUNG PUNCTURED. He CANNOT SURVIVE for LONG. STOP BLEEDING WHEREVER POSSIBLE ANYWAY. USE PAINKILLER from FIRST AID KIT on DOG to PARALYSE and CALM HIM DOWN.

ASK IVAN IVANOV for VODKA as DISINFECTANT. AND PAIN RELIEF FOR MYSELF.

HAVE IDEA. TAKE UNUSED, THING PLASTIC TUBE from SOMEWHERE (from a thicker wire maybe). DISINFECT WIRE WITH VODKA. USE DISINFECTED WIRE as OXYGEN TUBE to IRRITABLE DOG'S STILL WORKING LUNG. FIX other end of the tube to slot in the AIR FILTER for PURE OXYGEN. ASK WCDG FOR HELP with TECHNICAL DETAILS.

DOUBT that DOG can SURVIVE LANDING.

Once that is done, GET IN CO-PILOT's SEAT. LISTEN IN on RADIO to GUIDE SHEP TROUGH EVA. NOTICE STRANGE RADIO SIGNAL. ASK SHEP WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.

[Force Lord]

INSANE HISTORIAN says "MOMMY" and BEARHUGS ZINIXUS.

[FaxModem1]

WCDG assists ZIXINUS in creating AIR TUBE.

[Zixinus]

INSANE HISTORIAN says "MOMMY" and BEARHUGS ZINIXUS.

KNEE HISTORIAN IN THE NUTS.

[Force Lord]

INSANE HISTORIAN reels from the PAIN, ends up SLAMMING head into WALL. Goes UNCONSCIOUS.

[Zixinus]

In SUDDEN PANIC, DODGE COMING CUM FROM HISTORIAN.

NOTE that HISTORIAN is UNCONSCIOUS. PUT HIM IN SEAT AND STRAP HIM IN. PLOT REVENGE.

RESUME WHAT I PLANNED TO DO.

[Shroom Man 777]

COMBAT JANITOR PRATTLES:

"IN SEIZURES it is NO LONGER ADVISED TO PUT OBJECTS IN THE PATIENT'S MOUTH because of the DANGERS OF ASPIRATION/SWALLOWING"

HISTORIAN SWALLOWS WALLET

COMBAT JANITOR APPLIES HEIMLICH MANEUVER in ZERO-GRAVITY!

[Simon_Jester]

MAD SCIENTIST locates ADVANCED CLEANING PRODUCTS.

After COMBAT JANITOR performs HEIMLICH on DERANGED HISTORIAN, MAD SCIENTIST steps up tot COMBAT JANITOR. Brandishes HIGH VOLTAGE LOGIC PROBE, which CRACKLES.

"Minion! We have filth, and you are a janitor! Therefore, you will CLEAN!"

[Shroom Man 777]

AIMS the DERANGE HISTORIAN at MAD SCIENTIST

GIVE ONE MORE HEIMLICH THRUST

MAKE the HISTORIAN PUKE and VOMIT AT THE SAME TIME

AT THE MAD SCIENTIST

"WE NEED MORE REPAIR MATERIALS!"

[FaxModem1]

WCDG turns the AIR PURIFIER to a HIGHER SETTING.

"Just once, I'd like to be on a spaceflight that didn't involve bodily fluids."

[Zixinus]

Say to WCDG "That is why I have ordered diapers. As soon as we get one, the janitor will wear them or breath vacuuum,"

GO BACK to doing what I planned to do.

[Force Lord]

INSANE HISTORIAN regains CONSCIOUSNESS. Falls to the floor, mutters SOMETHING in a CERTAIN LANGUAGE.

[Simon_Jester]

MAD SCIENTIST parries STREAM OF HISTORIAN PUKE with ADVANCED CLEANING SUPPLIES.

"Look, you have to do your actual job sooner or later. Better now than later."