Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[FaxModem1]

"New Rule, if you make the mess, you clean it up."

[Zixinus]

ASK SAILOR for a can of his BEER.

"Hey, at least this time we get something out of it."
Spoiler

I presume that the beer is very smelly?

[Eternal_Freedom]

REGRET IMMENSELY the lack of a PROPER FLIGHT SUIT with SEALABLE HELMET. CONTINUE plans for MURDERISING FEELIPINO JANITOR and probably SHEPP AS WELL.
Spoiler

The beer smelled quite good actually. And very refreshing.

[doom3607]

Spoiler

Wait, can people still join this digital insane asylum? Once it lands, of course... Unless Cthulhu cultists can fly into space unaided.

[Shroom Man 777]

Spoiler

Maybe a Cthulhu-worshiping islander native stowed away in the spaceplane.

[Zixinus]

Spoiler

Maybe a Cthulhu-worshiping islander native stowed away in the spaceplane.

Spoiler

That would be... difficult, unless the cultist was wearing a spacesuit and managed not only to avoid being seen by us but open and close the cargo hold without us noticing. A sequence that would take a bit of a while.
As for hiding within the passenger compartment: no way.

However, if you are already wearing a spacesuit and already in space on our path, like, you know, Cthulhu provides after an inter-dimensional trip...

[doom3607]

Spoiler

Meh. I'll wait for you to land. That takes too long, I'll have a teleport go awry and send me into your passenger compartment, probably straight into some unholy mixture. The psychotic Cthulhu cultist does get his magic, right? Also a hidden Yith lightning weapon?

[PeZook]

CHAPTER 3: A HOLE IN THE ACE

February 23rd 2025
Sunday
Wheels Up + 00:12:11

SIMULATION ENGINE RUNNING
TIMEFLOW INTERRUPTED

You are now: ZIXINUS, ETERNAL FREEDOM, PHANT, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY, LARGE WOUNDED DOG, COMBAT JANITOR, SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR, TROPICAL BEAUTY, IVAN IVANOV, INSANE HISTORIAN, MAD SCIENTIST, CHEEKY BETTY and FUCKER NEWTON.

You are on a SPACEPLANE. You are at an ALTITUDE of 140 kilometres. You are not ASCENDING. You are in FREEFALL. You are PAST the APOAPSIS of your TRAJECTORY.

There is lots of various BODILY FLUIDS in the PASSENGER CABIN. They STINK. VERY BADLY. They also STICK to EVERYTHING. They make TROPICAL BEAUTY terrified and revolted at the same time. She is HORRIFIED.

It is SURPRISINGLY PEACEFUL. People SEEM to be WAITING for RESULTS of the IMPROVISED REPAIRS. ZIXINUS gets EVERYONE to STRAP IN. They OBEY the MOUSTACHE.

Except TROPICAL BEAUTY who is PROTESTING loudly as her SEAT is STAINED with a RANCID MIXTURE of POOP BLOOD SWEAT and TEARS.

Before that can be RESOLVED, SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR begins PASSING OUT cans of BEER inside the CABIN. The CANS of BEER are MERRILY OPENED.

FUCKER NEWTON LAUGHS his ASS OFF as the BEER begins FLOATING around the CABIN adding to the MESS it is BARELY possible to DRINK out of OPEN CANS in FREEFALL. ETERNAL FREEDOM is SHAKING in BARELY CONTROLLED RAGE. He SEEMS to be PLANNING something.

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY has DISASSEMBLED his IMPROVISED AIR FILTER and is ATTEMPTING to REPAIR IT.

SUDDENLY there is a SPARK and SMELL of OZONE. The MASTER ALARM begins to BLARE.

CHEEKY BETTY Says: WARNING! FIRE! WARNING! FIRE!

There is SMOKE coming from the VENTILLATION.

Before you can ACT the RADIO begins to BLARE RUSSIAN. IVAN IVANOV RECOGNIZES an EXTORTION DEMAND for MONEY. Alternatively, VODKA or WHORES in HUGE QUANTITIES.

Otherwise, you get MISSILES.

What do you do? _

***

You are now: RI'ANN SHAPP


You are in the COLD and CRUEL VACUUM. You are WEARING a SUSPICIOUS SPACESUIT. It is LEAKING. It is VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. You are HOLDING a VODKA BOTTLE full of IMPROVISED SEALANT. It is VERY AWKWARD.

You have TRANSFERRED to the WING. You are EXTREMELY TIRED. You are COLD. You are having major TROUBLE locating the HOLE. There is a LOT of WING to COVER and no HANDRAILS to AID you. You DOUBT you will be able to LOCATE the DAMAGED PART of the HEAT SHIELD.

What do you do? _

[PeZook]

Spoiler

Wait, can people still join this digital insane asylum? Once it lands, of course... Unless Cthulhu cultists can fly into space unaided.

Spoiler

Yes, new people can join at any time. They are oficially "in" when they appear in one of my posts, but I guess that is obvious. I my also start pruning since too many PCs are usually a problem, but not just yet methinks.

And yeah a Cthullhu worshipper will get his magic but using it will probably have totally random/unforeseen results as ordained by the Rule Of Hilarity.

Like people spontaneously sprouting Doc Brown Hair.

[doom3607]

Spoiler

Yes, new people can join at any time. They are oficially "in" when they appear in one of my posts, but I guess that is obvious. I my also start pruning since too many PCs are usually a problem, but not just yet methinks.

And yeah a Cthullhu worshipper will get his magic but using it will probably have totally random/unforeseen results as ordained by the Rule Of Hilarity.

Like people spontaneously sprouting Doc Brown Hair.

Spoiler

Of course. Thus when I attempt to summon some murderous space insect thing, it will try to eat the Mustache Lord? Also, can I teleport, if only badly, so as to join faster?

[Force Lord]

HISTORIAN suggests that we find something to bribe the HUMORLESS RUSSIANS.

[PeZook]

The RUSSIANS are VERY HUMOROUS. They make LOTS of little JOKES. The JOKES just don't SEEM all that FUNNY when you're LIABLE to FIND YOURSELVES on the RECEIVING END of their S-600 MISSILES.

[Force Lord]

HISTORIAN lacks SENSE OF HUMOR, does not get JOKES.

[Zixinus]

It's whores they want? Tell RUSSIANS WITH MISSILES that they should call +36 06254287751, ask for Bald-guy and tell him that Plumber is calling in a favour. He'll pull some strings and have whores delivered right to their location.

CAREFULLY AVOID mentioning them that they will get a supply of WHORES from Brother Edgar's Reformed Dominatrix non-penis-rasping Old Gal league-team.



Team picture from 15 years ago. With makeup and photoshop.

Oh, and TURN ON ALL of the RAVENSTAR'S LIGHTS so SHEP might have an easier time FINDING THE HOLE.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Mutter: "Blood, sweat, shit, vomit, vodka and now beer. And fire as well. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....."

FEEL PATIENCE ERODING RAPIDLY. URGE to MURDERISE PASSENGERS is RISING at ALARMING RATE.

PREPARE for BADASS EVASIVE MANEUVRES that also VERY FUEL ECONOMICAL

Mutter: "All we need now is some Cthullu-cultist and I'm just gonna snap."

SHOUT at WCDG and SUAVE PLAYBOY

"GET THAT FUCKING FIRE OUT!"

Once they commence fire-controlling actions, stare murderously at SMARMY SAILOR.

[Zixinus]

SEARCH for SOURCE OF FIRE.

[Eternal_Freedom]

BEGIN SYSTEMS DIAGNOSTIC. LOCATE FIRE. FIRe is in VENTILATION SYSTEM. INFORM the FIRE-FIGHTING TEAM.

SHUT DOWN VENTILATION SYSTEM to AVOID DANGEr of FURTHER MALFUNCTIONS.

SWITCH OFF MASTER ALARM. CONSULT MANUAL, to see if there is SOME WAY of MUTING BITCHING/CHEEKY BETTY.

[FaxModem1]

WCDG grabs FIRE EXTINGUISHER. Finding the FIRE in the VENTILATION SYSTEM, WCDG pinpoints it and making sure to secure himself before firing, blasts EXTINGUISHER at FIRE.

[Shroom Man 777]

HURL the WET DIARRHEATIC POO INTO THE FIRE to EXTINGUISH IT

[doom3607]

INSANE CTHULHU CULTIST ATTEMPTS to TELEPORT from his HOME of TORONTO, ONTARIO to R'LYEH. The city's ALIEN GEOMETRY throws off the TELEPORT, landing him in the PASSENGER COMPARTMENT of the XR-2 with a FLASH OF LIGHT. At the SUDDEN TRANSITION from GRAVITY to ZERO GEE, he PROJECTILE VOMITS onto the PILOT.
Spoiler

Assuming I'm in at all, this is how I'd like to enter.

[FaxModem1]

If CULTIST appears in this room, WCDG SPRAYS EXTINGUISHER on CULTIST.

[Shroom Man 777]

IF CULTIST APPEARS IN THE PLANE, SHRIEK IN HORRER and FLING POO AT HIM

[MKSheppard]

My VISOR begins to FOG UP.

I AM OVERHEATING.

I turn the COOLING in my suit up to MAXIMUM. It does not seem to be HELPING.

I use my NOSE to clear an area on my VISOR that I can SEE THROUGH.

I suddenly REALIZE that I can use the STRANGE POOP/VODKA mixture as an ADHESIVE to move along the wing.

[PeZook]

CHAPTER 3: A HOLE IN THE ACE

February 23rd 2025
Sunday
Wheels Up + 00:14:44

SIMULATION ENGINE RUNNING
TIMEFLOW INTERRUPTED

You are now: ZIXINUS, ETERNAL FREEDOM, PHANT, WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY, LARGE WOUNDED DOG, COMBAT JANITOR, SMARMY AMERICAN SAILOR, TROPICAL BEAUTY, IVAN IVANOV, INSANE HISTORIAN, MAD SCIENTIST, CHEEKY BETTY and FUCKER NEWTON.

You are on a SPACEPLANE. You are at an ALTITUDE of 140 kilometres. You are not ASCENDING. You are in FREEFALL. You are WELL PAST the APOAPSIS of your TRAJECTORY. You are on FIRE.

There is lots of various BODILY FLUIDS in the PASSENGER CABIN. They STINK. VERY BADLY. They also STICK to EVERYTHING. They make TROPICAL BEAUTY terrified and revolted at the same time. She is HORRIFIED.

CHEEKY BETTY Says: WARNING! FIRE!

There is a FIRE. It is in the VENTILLATION SYSTEM. It makes ETERNAL FREEDOM very ANGRY for some REASON. He keps enough COOL to SHUT the VENTILLATION DOWN. It doesn't HELP much, though, as you REALIZE your ATMOSPHERE is 100% OXYGEN.

The FIRE realizes that, too. FLAME bursts OUT of the VENTILLATION DUCTS into the PASSENGER CABIN. COMBAT JANITOR HURLS some POO into it. It makes LITTLE DIFFERENCE. Except making the INTERIOR even more DISGUSTING due to VAPORIZED POO hanging in the AIR. TROPICAL BEAUTY PASSES OUT.

CHEEKY BETTY Says: WARNING! FIRE!

PEOPLE rush to EXTINGUISH the FIRE. WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY does the SENSIBLE THING and GRABS a FIRE EXTINGUISHER. He SPRAYS some FOAM into the RAPIDLY SPREADING fire.

It is getting REALLY HOT.

CHEEKY BETTY Says: WARNING! FIRE!

Meanwhile, ZIXINUS is FRANTICALLY NEGOTIATING with the RUSSIAN EXTORTIONIST SAM OPERATORS and manages to PROVIDE them with FRAUDULENT PAYMENT. You are CLEARED for an OVERFLIGHT of RUSSIAN TERRITORRY.

FUCKER NEWTON helpfully POINTS OUT to ZIXINUS that you will have to OVERFLY the SAME MISSILE BATTERY in about an HOUR.

FUCKER NEWTON GRINS

CHEEKY BETTY Says: WARNING! FIRE!

ETERNAL FREEDOM is ANGRY. ETERNAL FREEDOM FLIPS through the MANUAL and MUTES CHEEKY BETTY.

ETERNAL FREEDOM Says: Goddamn, all I need is some Cthullhu cultist and I'm gonna fucking snap!

Suddenly, there is a FLASH of LIGHT. A HUMAN FIGURE appears in FRONT of the SPACEPLANE. It is CLOSING RAPIDLY. There is a loud and SICKENING THUMP from the AIRLOCK when the FIGURE SLAMS into the INNER DOOR with great SPEED and FORCE.

What do you do? _

***

You are now: RI'ANN SHAPP


You are in the COLD and CRUEL VACUUM. You are WEARING a SUSPICIOUS SPACESUIT. It is LEAKING. It is VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. You are HOLDING a VODKA BOTTLE full of IMPROVISED SEALANT. It is VERY AWKWARD.

You have TRANSFERRED to the WING. You are EXTREMELY TIRED. You are COLD. You are having major TROUBLE locating the HOLE. There is a LOT of WING to COVER and no HANDRAILS to AID you. You DOUBT you will be able to LOCATE the DAMAGED PART of the HEAT SHIELD.

You are OVERHEATING but STABLE thanks to the FACT the LEAKING AIR is TAKING the HEAT with it. You have COME UP with an INNOVATIVE way to MOVE about the WING. It makes EVERYTHING much EASIER. You can BARELY SEE. You are SCOURING the HEAT SHIELD very THOROUGHLY. Your SUIT ALARM begins to BLARE. It is WARNING you of LOW PRESSURE. You are on the VERGE of PASSING OUT when somebody TURNS the EXTERNAL LIGHTS on and you SEEM to CATCH a GLIMPSE of a TINY IMPERFECTION that MIGHT or MIGHT not be the HOLE you WANT to STICK your STUFF in.

SUDDENLY you feel a THUMP reverberate across the SPACEPLANE HULL. You would've heard SCREAMING as well but you are in SPACE, and in SPACE, no one can HEAR the INSANE CTHULLHU CULTIST SCREAM.

What do you do? _

[FaxModem1]

WHITE CHINESE DELIVERY GUY continues FIGHTING FIRE with the FIRE EXTINGUISHER. Compared to that, everything else is small potatoes.