Women, Protect Yourself! Incorporate your Uterus

[LadyTevar]

Want control over your body? Incorporate your uterus
Fla. ACLU website helps women create incorporation document for control over reproductive health
MIAMI — The American Civil Liberties Union of Florida has a message for women who want complete control over their reproductive health: Incorporate your uterus.

To help women who want to do this, the organization launched the website www.IncorporateMyUterus.com on Tuesday, which will issue a declaration of incorporation for women who would like one.

Head of ACLU of Florida Howard Simon says "The Florida Legislature - and extreme social conservatives across the country - are taking rules and regulation off of businesses and adding them to uteruses."

Simon says that telling lawmakers that your body is a business "is really the best way to get them to leave it alone."

The website will produce a printable document and shortly, men will be allowed to incorporate an honorary uterus.

Afterall, Everyone Knows the GOP worships Corporations....

[Zaune]

If this is an April Fools Day joke, the perpetrator's decided to keep it running until someone notices.

If they're serious, and this actually works, I'm emulating Wonko the Sane.

[Alyeska]

Culture clash of the GOP. The social conservatives vs Big Business. I would sooo love to see this fight.

[Shroom Man 777]

God, this is brilliant. Why didn't I think about this?

[Block]

So this means I can buy stock right?

[Phantasee]

Marriage redefined to mean everyone with an ownership stake in the uterus?

[KlavoHunter]

Hostile takeover of the uterus?

[Prannon]

What happens when you have a merger?

Does a uterus have to declare bankruptcy when it goes through menopause?

[Eulogy]

Are the uteri going to be private, or will it put shares on the public market? If so, do the shares pay dividends? And what if there's a lawsuit - will the uterus have its own legal team and board of directors?

Can uteri lobby the government or make bribes donations to politicians? Do they get tax credits for ah, ahem, "extracurricular activites"? Can penises incorporate as well, or are corporations dicks by default?

[Highlord Laan]

Can uteri lobby the government or make bribes donations to politicians? Do they get tax credits for ah, ahem, "extracurricular activites"? Can penises incorporate as well, or are corporations dicks by default?

Dicks and Assholes, in fact. Incorporating uteri is simply a way for more and more women to finally break past the glass ceiling of Murakan politircks.